Belatedly, Severus recognized that he should have retreated immediately after his companion's climax and dealt with this problem himself as he'd done any number of times in his past.
Dying of embarrassment, he watched Potter's eyes shift towards his groin again. Potter's lips never moved, nor did he retrieve his wand. Yet, Severus saw and felt the button at the front of his trousers open, and then the zipper carefully slid itself down over the bulge of pulsing flesh that was attempting to poke its way through it.
Severus didn't know if his gasp were caused by the physical sense of relief that crashed through his constricted flesh or the casual display of a magic and will so powerful that they required only a thought to manifest. All he knew was that when his trousers and underpants slid off his erection, he was free and his flesh sang with a relief so intense it was close to climax itself. His entire body seemed to breathe a sigh.
Severus quivered as Potter's square, capable hand reached for his erection, doing everything in his power not to come at that first touch. To his eternal gratitude, Potter didn't play the moment out or make a fuss over the issue. He simply wrapped those calloused fingers around his shaft in a matter-of-fact manner.
Severus hissed in a breath between his teeth as he watched that shaggy head lower over his groin. He wouldn't have asked for that. Potter's hand would have been more than enough.
Liquid heat surrounded the head of his penis. The sensation was wet, hot, and wonderful. Potter's tongue sliding under his cock was without a doubt the most intense, utterly visceral contact he'd ever experienced.
His mind reeled under the sensations of simply being within Potter's mouth. When the other man gave the first, tentative suck on his shaft, it destroyed Severus. All that pent up arousal peaked in a fiery blaze. With a wrenching groan, he came, straight into Potter's mouth, like a clumsy third year jumping the gun the first time another student felt him up. His lack of control was mortifying, but he couldn't hold it back.
Clearly, the younger man was more in practice than he was. Potter didn't seem to have any difficulty breathing around him as he exploded.
Instead of spitting him out as most of his other paramours had done years ago, Potter's mouth lowered over him and he sucked stronger, swallowing him down. That only made him come harder and longer. Severus felt as though he pumped a river of semen into that willing mouth. Potter took it all without protest, keeping up that amazing sucking until Severus was limp and empty. Only then did Potter raise his head.
His heart still pounding a wild beat in his ears, Severus dragged in a ragged breath and waited for the pleasure-blasted portions of his mind to reassemble. Experience warned him that he should be on his guard now, that at the very least there ought to be some awkwardness between them, but as Potter sat back on the cloak with Potter's bare knee touching Severus' right elbow, Severus couldn't take his attention from the absolute joy he'd experienced long enough to worry about such things.
He hadn't known ecstasy like that existed. Potter had lavished so many touches on him, had been so gentle. What they'd done here tonight threw Severus' entire world off –kilter.
For so many years, he'd considered this an impossibility, so far outside the realms of chance that he never even allowed himself to fantasize about being touched by anyone anymore. Severus knew what his students and co-workers thought of him. Those that knew him despised him for what he was; those that didn't know him hated him for what he'd been. More damning than either was his own appraisal of himself, his certain knowledge of his inadequacies in this area. He'd never been either attractive or charming. He'd learned to do without. He'd even convinced himself that he didn't even need this type of intimate contact. After decades of isolation, he'd believed his body all but dead on a sexual level.
To find that he was so totally mistaken after all these years was earthshaking. His flesh wasn't dead. To the contrary, not even as a young man had he quivered with such vitality and delight.
When Potter's left hand reached down to stroke his hair in an almost absent caress, Severus allowed it. The sensation of his hair feathering down around his neck and temples was as exquisite as ever.
They didn't speak for a very long time. Severus just lay there on the cloak with Potter petting his unwashed hair. He stared up into that handsome face, while Potter gazed down at him, thinking Merlin knew what. Neither of them tried to break the silence. It was almost as though they both instinctively understood that what they were sharing at the moment wouldn't stand the test of words.
Only when the first chilly drops splattered on his naked stomach, did Severus move to sit up.
"It's starting to rain again," Potter followed his habit of stating the obvious yet again.
Severus' normal response to that announcement would have been a scathing comment on that annoying habit of Potter's. He could sense the other man tensing, drawing back emotionally as Potter no doubt braced himself for just such an attack.
Abruptly conscious of the fact that however he responded now would set the tone for all future interaction, Severus choked down the impulse to belittle and reluctantly stated, "Yes. We should probably return to the castle."
Severus could almost feel Potter's surprise as he gave a subdued, "Yes, you're right."
They stumbled awkwardly to their feet. Not looking at each other, they set their clothing to rights.
Of course, Severus' clothes took longer to rearrange than Potter's. It took only moments for his companion to redo his shirt buttons and trousers.
The buttons of Severus' jacket took a long time to fasten, especially since his fingers seemed to have acquired something of a shake. His nervousness was no doubt a result of the eyes he could feel watching him.
Severus kept waiting for the inevitable demand for an explanation or a warning that this would never happen again, but Potter remained nerve-rackingly silent.
When Severus was done with the last button, the rain was falling in earnest and Potter handed him his cloak without a word.
With a nod of acknowledgement, Severus turned towards the stream and the trail back to Hogwarts. He'd never been so physically aware of his body and his surroundings in his life. He could feel each raindrop splatter on his face. The scent rising from the rich earth and the plants around him was a heady perfume. And, most disturbing of all, he could nearly feel the body heat pouring off Potter as he walked beside him. Severus was certain that if he just turned his nose in the other man's direction, that he'd be able to scent him on the air like a hunting hound tracking its prey.
Severus realized that he'd never be able to stand close to Potter again without his scent reminding him of this night. Somehow, he didn't think that was a good development.
Still, the lack of post-coital antipathy was novel. Of course, all of that might set in later when Potter's dim, Gryffindor brain caught up with what his body had been up to, but at the moment, Severus was grateful for the illusion, fleeting though it might be. He had no delusion that it would last, but he was grateful that it was here now, in what could have been the most painful moments.
Severus thought that he'd be able to handle the consequences of his action when he'd had a few hours to regroup his defences. But right now when he was weak and vulnerable, it was good to pretend.
The mud and stones were slippery underfoot. Frogs were croaking on the nearby stream bank. Their odd symphony played against the now steady patter of rain. Severus stumbled through the dark in what he hoped was the right direction, avoiding the branches and thorns that ripped at his exposed face as best he could. He continued on like that until the blue light of Potter's wand tip lit the forest in front of them.
"It's a little dark," Potter said with a shrug as Severus looked his way.
It had never even occurred to him to make light. Not liking what that said about his mental state, Severus quickly moved to remedy the situation.
Pulling his own wand out, Severus whispered "Lumos" and was immediately able to traverse the woods easier. Instinctively, he tensed, awaiting some comment on his demonstrated lack of common sense, but none came. Potter simply walked beside him through the increasingly soggy foliage as though nothing untoward had occurred.
When they reached the fringe of the eco-wards, the rain changed to snow. From one step to the next, they went from muddy soil to a dusting of snow underfoot. The brutal wind ripped at them, seeming even more vicious after their summer interlude. They both pulled up their cloak hoods and slogged miserably out of the snowy forest.
The open, hilly ground between the woods' edge and the castle was even worse. The snow was blowing horizontally there, blinding them as it battered their faces in stinging pelts as they made their way up the steep, slippery hill between Hagrid's hut and the castle proper. Battling the elements required so much energy that neither of them spoke all the way back to the school.
What seemed like forever later, they staggered through the side door into the drafty chill of the castle's main stairway and shook off the snow. As the warmer temperatures assaulted their windblown skin, Severus realized that neither of them had had the presence of mind to perform a simple warming charm that any fourth year could have managed.
It was strange, but as he looked into Potter's red-cheeked face, Severus could almost feel the other man coming to the same realization.
Potter gave him a totally engaging, self-deprecating smile and said, "I guess we had other things on our minds."
Having his supposition confirmed in no way eased his nervous tension. Severus gave a tight nod. Needing to escape before this situation descended into the inevitable acrimony, he softly said, "It's very late."
"Yes, well, I guess we should say goodnight, then," somehow Potter made it sound like a question.
Refusing to respond to the hurt confusion that was suffusing Potter's all too open face, Severus repossessed his dignity. Giving a curt "Good night," he turned with a theatrical billow of his cloak and stalked quickly over to the dungeon stairs.
He could feel Potter's gaze digging into his back as he made his escape.
*~*~*
He'd had sex with Severus Snape. Not just sex, but spectacular sex, with the person he would have voted to be the most unappealing sexual partner in this land or any other, after Lord Voldemort. That was, if he'd been asked prior to last night. Now . . . now Harry's mind and heart were in an uproar, at war with each other over what he'd done.
He just couldn't get past the fact that he'd done it with Severus Snape – and liked it, a lot.
Dressed in old blue jeans and a heavy black jumper against the castle's chill, Harry sat quill in hand at his desk in his sitting room, purportedly marking papers. More often than not, he found himself staring into the hearth fire as the evening gave way to night outside his windows.
It had been a good Sunday, Ron's first full day off since Carl Westfield had been attacked. Harry had enjoyed spending time with him and playing catch up, even if he hadn't been able to share the latest bizarre development in a lifetime of bizarre developments with his closest friend. Although he really needed someone to talk to about this, he knew Ron wouldn't understand. Hermione probably wouldn't either, although she'd be less judgemental about what he'd done than Ron. Hell, he didn't understand it himself.
He'd had sex with Severus Snape.
That was what every thought he'd had since he'd stepped into his rooms last night returned to. If he could only figure out how it had happened or why it had happened, he might have been okay with it. But he hadn't a clue as to how he'd found himself kissing Severus in the forest. One minute they'd been standing side by side with everything normal, and the next, Severus' arms had been around him and their mouths cemented together.
Even now, there was a part of Harry that gave an instinctive, gut-wrenching yuck of revulsion at the thought of shagging the misanthropic Potions master of his youth. The man was . . . .
Not at all what he'd thought, that was obvious. Unfortunately, it was the only thing that was – obvious.
Harry ran his free hand through his messy hair, and tried to view this rationally. But every time he allowed himself to think about what they'd done, he would come back to the image of Snape going down on him. His body would remember how good that felt, and he'd go instantly hard again. Like now.
Harry sighed and put down the quill. This was getting him nowhere.
There was nothing for it. He was going to have to talk to Severus, before he went mad.
Talking to Snape was still so new a concept that it took some getting used to. These last six weeks Harry had been pleased by their budding friendship. The man he'd found behind Snape's cold and intimidating front was witty, intelligent, and surprisingly fun. But for all the time they'd spent together, he'd never imagined it going . . . where they'd gone last night.
It might have helped if he knew how Severus was feeling about all this. Severus had been understandably remote last night after . . . well, after they'd pulled their clothes together. But Harry couldn't blame him. He hadn't known what to say either, and, for all his fancy vocabulary, Severus had never been all that good at communicating, not about the things that really mattered.
The only thing Harry knew for sure was that Severus didn't seem to be angry with him. To the contrary, throughout most of the events of last night, the other man had behaved as if he were expecting the situation to blow up in his face at any moment. Figuratively speaking, that was. It was pretty clear Severus hadn't minded the other kind of blowing.
Damn, he had to stop thinking like that.
So, if Severus weren't angry with him, then how was he feeling? Harry thought back to the few times he'd seen the man today, three times at meals. He'd feared that Severus would retreat to his dungeons as he'd done after the Prophet article in early October, but Severus had surprised him by showing up in the Great Hall, business as usual.
