Joey: Hey!
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Joey: Hi!
Rachel: Hey!
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! (He starts to leave, but gets an idea and stops.) Hey Rach, how you doin'?
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Ross: Ohh, here's that Macadamia nut!
Rachel: Ohhh!!
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
Ross: I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I...I really miss downstairs.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Ross: Well hello! I'm Ross!
Rachel: Good luck to ya!
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
Rachel: Wow!
Ross: (bowing) Hello!
Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
(The security guard approaches.)
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Phoebe: (quietly) Sells drugs to kids.
The Security Guard: What?!
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
The Lurker: It was my quarter!
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
The Security Guard: Okay lady, you're out of here.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
The Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside!
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks out.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Monica: No-no-no! We need something old!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Monica: That'll work!
Chandler: I don't think so.
Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Monica: That's stealing!
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in there-Ooh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey: (sitting down) Ahhh! (Slides his hands across the table.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
Joey: No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway... (Shakes his hands.)
Joey's Hand Twin: You can't sit here if you're not gonna play.
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
The Security Guard: Come on, lady! (Starts to escort her out.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
Monica: Yep, we wanna get married!
The Attendant: Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat.
Chandler and Monica: All right.
(They both sit down.)
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
(The real Wedding March begins playing from behind the closed doors of the chapel.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
(They storm out into the street.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Ending Credits
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
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《Friends》第五季
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《Friends》第一季
