parents, my father's tears and my mother's entreaties, came now fresh into my mind; and my conscience,
which was not yet come to the pitch of hardness to which it has since, reproached me with the contempt of
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advice, and the breach of my duty to God and my father.
All this while the storm increased, and the sea went very high, though nothing like what I have seen many
times since; no, nor what I saw a few days after; but it was enough to affect me then, who was but a young
sailor, and had never known anything of the matter. I expected every wave would have swallowed us up, and
that every time the ship fell down, as I thought it did, in the trough or hollow of the sea, we should never rise
more; in this agony of mind, I made many vows and resolutions that if it would please God to spare my life in
this one voyage, if ever I got once my foot upon dry land again, I would go directly home to my father, and
never set it into a ship again while I lived; that I would take his advice, and never run myself into such
miseries as these any more. Now I saw plainly the goodness of his observations about the middle station of
life, how easy, how comfortably he had lived all his days, and never had been exposed to tempests at sea or
troubles on shore; and I resolved that I would, like a true repenting prodigal, go home to my father.
These wise and sober thoughts continued all the while the storm lasted, and indeed some time after; but the
next day the wind was abated, and the sea calmer, and I began to be a little inured to it; however, I was very
grave for all that day, being also a little sea.sick still; but towards night the weather cleared up, the wind was
quite over, and a charming fine evening followed; the sun went down perfectly clear, and rose so the next
morning; and having little or no wind, and a smooth sea, the sun shining upon it, the sight was, as I thought,
the most delightful that ever I saw.
I had slept well in the night, and was now no more sea.sick, but very cheerful, looking with wonder upon the
sea that was so rough and terrible the day before, and could be so calm and so pleasant in so little a time after.
And now, lest my good resolutions should continue, my companion, who had enticed me away, comes to me;
"Well, Bob," says he, clapping me upon the shoulder, "how do you do after it? I warrant you were frighted,
wer'n't you, last night, when it blew but a capful of wind?" "A capful d'you call it?" said I; "'twas a terrible
storm." "A storm, you fool you," replies he; "do you call that a storm? why, it was nothing at all; give us but a
good ship and sea.room, and we think nothing of such a squall of wind as that; but you're but a fresh.water
sailor, Bob. Come, let us make a bowl of punch, and we'll forget all that; d'ye see what charming weather 'tis
now?" To make short this sad part of my story, we went the way of all sailors; the punch was made and I was
made half drunk with it: and in that one night's wickedness I drowned all my repentance, all my reflections
upon my past conduct, all my resolutions for the future. In a word, as the sea was returned to its smoothness
of surface and settled calmness by the abatement of that storm, so the hurry of my thoughts being over, my
fears and apprehensions of being swallowed up by the sea being forgotten, and the current of my former
desires returned, I entirely forgot the vows and promises that I made in my distress. I found, indeed, some
intervals of reflection; and the serious thoughts did, as it were, endeavour to return again sometimes; but I
shook them off, and roused myself from them as it were from a distemper, and applying myself to drinking
and company, soon mastered the return of those fits . for so I called them; and I had in five or six days got as
complete a victory over conscience as any young fellow that resolved not to be troubled with it could desire.
But I was to have another trial for it still; and Providence, as in such cases generally it does, resolved to leave
me entirely without excuse; for if I would not take this for a deliverance, the next was to be such a one as the
worst and most hardened wretch among us would confess both the danger and the mercy of.
The sixth day of our being at sea we came into Yarmouth Roads; the wind having been contrary and the
weather calm, we had made but little way since the storm. Here we were obliged to come to an anchor, and
here we lay, the wind continuing contrary . viz. at south.west . for seven or eight days, during which time a
great many ships from Newcastle came into the same Roads, as the common harbour where the ships might
wait for a wind for the river.
We had not, however, rid here so long but we should have tided it up the river, but that the wind blew too
fresh, and after we had lain four or five days, blew very hard. However, the Roads being reckoned as good as
a harbour, the anchorage good, and our ground. tackle very strong, our men were unconcerned, and not in
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the least apprehensive of danger, but spent the time in rest and mirth, after the manner of the sea; but the
eighth day, in the morning, the wind increased, and we had all hands at work to strike our topmasts, and make
everything snug and close, that the ship might ride as easy as possible. By noon the sea went very high
indeed, and our ship rode forecastle in, shipped several seas, and we thought once or twice our anchor had
come home; upon which our master ordered out the sheet.anchor, so that we rode with two anchors ahead,
and the cables veered out to the bitter end.
By this time it blew a terrible storm indeed; and now I began to see terror and amazement in the faces even of
the seamen themselves. The master, though vigilant in the business of preserving the ship, yet as he went in
and out of his cabin by me, I could hear him softly to himself say, several times, "Lord be merciful to us! we
shall be all lost! we shall be all undone!" and the like. During these first hurries I was stupid, lying still in my
cabin, which was in the steerage, and cannot describe my temper: I could ill resume the first penitence which
I had so apparently trampled upon and hardened myself against: I thought the bitterness of death had been
past, and that this would be nothing like the first; but when the master himself came by me, as I said just now,
and said we should be all lost, I was dreadfully frighted. I got up out of my cabin and looked out; but such a
dismal sight I never saw: the sea ran mountains high, and broke upon us every three or four minutes; when I
could look about, I could see nothing but distress round us; two ships that rode near us, we found, had cut
their masts by the board, being deep laden; and our men cried out that a ship which rode about a mile ahead
of us was foundered. Two more ships, being driven from their anchors, were run out of the Roads to sea, at
all adventures, and that with not a mast standing. The light ships fared the best, as not so much labouring in
the sea; but two or three of them drove, and came close by us, running away with only their spritsail out
before the wind.
Towards evening the mate and boatswain begged the master of our ship to let them cut away the fore.mast,
which he was very unwilling to do; but the boatswain protesting to him that if he did not the ship would
founder, he consented; and when they had cut away the fore.mast, the main.mast stood so loose, and shook
the ship so much, they were obliged to cut that away also, and make a clear deck.
Any one may judge what a condition I must be in at all this, who was but a young sailor, and who had been in
such a fright before at but a little. But if I can express at this distance the thoughts I had about me at that time,
I was in tenfold more horror of mind upon account of my former convictions, and the having returned from
them to the resolutions I had wickedly taken at first, than I was at death itself; and these, added to the terror
of the storm, put me into such a condition that I can by no words describe it. But the worst was not come yet;
the storm continued with such fury that the seamen themselves acknowledged they had never seen a worse.
We had a good ship, but she was deep laden, and wallowed in the sea, so that the seamen every now and then
cried out she would founder. It was my advantage in one respect, that I did not know what they meant by
FOUNDER till I inquired. However, the storm was so violent that I saw, what is not often seen, the master,
the boatswain, and some others more sensible than the rest, at their prayers, and expecting every moment
when the ship would go to the bottom. In the middle of the night, and under all the rest of our distresses, one
of the men that had been down to see cried out we had sprung a leak; another said there was four feet water in
the hold. Then all hands were called to the pump. At that word, my heart, as I thought, died within me: and I
fell backwards upon the side of my bed where I sat, into the cabin. However, the men roused me, and told me
that I, that was able to do nothing before, was as well able to pump as another; at which I stirred up and went
to the pump, and worked very heartily. While this was doing the master, seeing some light colliers, who, not
able to ride out the storm were obliged to slip and run away to sea, and would come near us, ordered to fire a
gun as a signal of distress. I, who knew nothing what they meant, thought the ship had broken, or some
dreadful thing happened. In a word, I was so surprised that I fell down in a swoon. As this was a time when
everybody had his own life to think of, nobody minded me, or what was become of me; but another man
stepped up to the pump, and thrusting me aside with his foot, let me lie, thinking I had been dead; and it was
a great while before I came to myself.
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We worked on; but the water increasing in the hold, it was apparent that the ship would founder; and though
the storm began to abate a little, yet it was not possible she could swim till we might run into any port; so the
master continued firing guns for help; and a light ship, who had rid it out just ahead of us, ventured a boat out
to help us. It was with the utmost hazard the boat came near us; but it was impossible for us to get on board,
or for the boat to lie near the ship's side, till at last the men rowing very heartily, and venturing their lives to
save ours, our men cast them a rope over the stern with a buoy to it, and then veered it out a great length,
which they, after much labour and hazard, took hold of, and we hauled them close under our stern, and got all
into their boat. It was to no purpose for them or us, after we were in the boat, to think of reaching their own
ship; so all agreed to let her drive, and only to pull her in towards shore as much as we could; and our master
promised them, that if the boat was staved upon shore, he would make it good to their master: so partly
rowing and partly driving, our boat went away to the northward, sloping towards the shore almost as far as
Winterton Ness.
We were not much more than a quarter of an hour out of our ship till we saw her sink, and then I understood
for the first time what was meant by a ship foundering in the sea. I must acknowledge I had hardly eyes to
look up when the seamen told me she was sinking; for from the moment that they rather put me into the boat
than that I might be said to go in, my heart was, as it were, dead within me, partly with fright, partly with
horror of mind, and the thoughts of what was yet before me.
While we were in this condition . the men yet labouring at the oar to bring the boat near the shore . we could
see (when, our boat mounting the waves, we were able to see the shore) a great many people running along
the strand to assist us when we should come near; but we made but slow way towards the shore; nor were we
able to reach the shore till, being past the lighthouse at Winterton, the shore falls off to the westward towards
Cromer, and so the land broke off a little the violence of the wind. Here we got in, and though not without
much difficulty, got all safe on shore, and walked afterwards on foot to Yarmouth, where, as unfortunate
men, we were used with great humanity, as well by the magistrates of the town, who assigned us good
quarters, as by particular merchants and owners of ships, and had money given us sufficient to carry us either
to London or back to Hull as we thought fit.
Had I now had the sense to have gone back to Hull, and have gone home, I had been happy, and my father, as
in our blessed Saviour's parable, had even killed the fatted calf for me; for hearing the ship I went away in
was cast away in Yarmouth Roads, it was a great while before he had any assurances that I was not drowned.
But my ill fate pushed me on now with an obstinacy that nothing could resist; and though I had several times
loud calls from my reason and my more composed judgment to go home, yet I had no power to do it. I know
not what to call this, nor will I urge that it is a secret overruling decree, that hurries us on to be the
instruments of our own destruction, even though it be before us, and that we rush upon it with our eyes open.
Certainly, nothing but some such decreed unavoidable misery, which it was impossible for me to escape,
could have pushed me forward against the calm reasonings and persuasions of my most retired thoughts, and
against two such visible instructions as I had met with in my first attempt.
My comrade, who had helped to harden me before, and who was the master's son, was now less forward than
I. The first time he spoke to me after we were at Yarmouth, which was not till two or three days, for we were
separated in the town to several quarters; I say, the first time he saw me, it appeared his tone was altered; and,
looking very melancholy, and shaking his head, he asked me how I did, and telling his father who I was, and
how I had come this voyage only for a trial, in order to go further abroad, his father, turning to me with a very
grave and concerned tone "Young man," says he, "you ought never to go to sea any more; you ought to take
