delighted philosophy which believes that nothing is impossible to a full
purse or well-lined pocketbook, supped, went to bed, slept soundly, and
dreamed he was racing all over Rome at Carnival time in a coach with six
horses.
Chapter 33. Roman Bandits.
The next morning Franz woke first, and instantly rang the bell. The
sound had not yet died away when Signor Pastrini himself entered.
"Well, excellency," said the landlord triumphantly, and without waiting
for Franz to question him, "I feared yesterday, when I would not promise
you anything, that you were too late--there is not a single carriage to
be had--that is, for the last three days of the carnival."
"Yes," returned Franz, "for the very three days it is most needed."
"What is the matter?" said Albert, entering; "no carriage to be had?"
"Just so," returned Franz, "you have guessed it."
"Well, your Eternal City is a nice sort of place."
"That is to say, excellency," replied Pastrini, who was desirous of
keeping up the dignity of the capital of the Christian world in the
eyes of his guest, "that there are no carriages to be had from Sunday
to Tuesday evening, but from now till Sunday you can have fifty if you
please."
"Ah, that is something," said Albert; "to-day is Thursday, and who knows
what may arrive between this and Sunday?"
"Ten or twelve thousand travellers will arrive," replied Franz, "which
will make it still more difficult."
"My friend," said Morcerf, "let us enjoy the present without gloomy
forebodings for the future."
"At least we can have a window?"
"Where?"
"In the Corso."
"Ah, a window!" exclaimed Signor Pastrini,--"utterly impossible; there
was only one left on the fifth floor of the Doria Palace, and that has
been let to a Russian prince for twenty sequins a day."
The two young men looked at each other with an air of stupefaction.
"Well," said Franz to Albert, "do you know what is the best thing we can
do? It is to pass the Carnival at Venice; there we are sure of obtaining
gondolas if we cannot have carriages."
"Ah, the devil, no," cried Albert; "I came to Rome to see the Carnival,
and I will, though I see it on stilts."
"Bravo! an excellent idea. We will disguise ourselves as monster
pulchinellos or shepherds of the Landes, and we shall have complete
success."
"Do your excellencies still wish for a carriage from now to Sunday
morning?"
"Parbleu!" said Albert, "do you think we are going to run about on foot
in the streets of Rome, like lawyer's clerks?"
"I hasten to comply with your excellencies' wishes; only, I tell you
beforehand, the carriage will cost you six piastres a day."
"And, as I am not a millionaire, like the gentleman in the next
apartments," said Franz, "I warn you, that as I have been four times
before at Rome, I know the prices of all the carriages; we will give you
twelve piastres for to-day, tomorrow, and the day after, and then you
will make a good profit."
"But, excellency"--said Pastrini, still striving to gain his point.
"Now go," returned Franz, "or I shall go myself and bargain with your
affettatore, who is mine also; he is an old friend of mine, who has
plundered me pretty well already, and, in the hope of making more out
of me, he will take a less price than the one I offer you; you will lose
the preference, and that will be your fault."
"Do not give yourselves the trouble, excellency," returned Signor
Pastrini, with the smile peculiar to the Italian speculator when
he confesses defeat; "I will do all I can, and I hope you will be
satisfied."
"And now we understand each other."
"When do you wish the carriage to be here?"
"In an hour."
"In an hour it will be at the door."
An hour after the vehicle was at the door; it was a hack conveyance
which was elevated to the rank of a private carriage in honor of the
occasion, but, in spite of its humble exterior, the young men would have
thought themselves happy to have secured it for the last three days of
the Carnival. "Excellency," cried the cicerone, seeing Franz approach
the window, "shall I bring the carriage nearer to the palace?"
Accustomed as Franz was to the Italian phraseology, his first impulse
was to look round him, but these words were addressed to him. Franz
was the "excellency," the vehicle was the "carriage," and the Hotel de
Londres was the "palace." The genius for laudation characteristic of the
race was in that phrase.
Franz and Albert descended, the carriage approached the palace; their
excellencies stretched their legs along the seats; the cicerone sprang
into the seat behind. "Where do your excellencies wish to go?" asked he.
"To Saint Peter's first, and then to the Colosseum," returned Albert.
But Albert did not know that it takes a day to see Saint Peter's, and a
month to study it. The day was passed at Saint Peter's alone. Suddenly
the daylight began to fade away; Franz took out his watch--it was
half-past four. They returned to the hotel; at the door Franz ordered
the coachman to be ready at eight. He wished to show Albert the
Colosseum by moonlight, as he had shown him Saint Peter's by daylight.
When we show a friend a city one has already visited, we feel the same
pride as when we point out a woman whose lover we have been. He was
to leave the city by the Porta del Popolo, skirt the outer wall, and
re-enter by the Porta San Giovanni; thus they would behold the Colosseum
without finding their impressions dulled by first looking on the
Capitol, the Forum, the Arch of Septimus Severus, the Temple of
Antoninus and Faustina, and the Via Sacra. They sat down to dinner.
Signor Pastrini had promised them a banquet; he gave them a tolerable
repast. At the end of the dinner he entered in person. Franz thought
that he came to hear his dinner praised, and began accordingly, but at
the first words he was interrupted. "Excellency," said Pastrini, "I am
delighted to have your approbation, but it was not for that I came."
"Did you come to tell us you have procured a carriage?" asked Albert,
lighting his cigar.
"No; and your excellencies will do well not to think of that any longer;
at Rome things can or cannot be done; when you are told anything cannot
be done, there is an end of it."
"It is much more convenient at Paris,--when anything cannot be done, you
pay double, and it is done directly."
"That is what all the French say," returned Signor Pastrini, somewhat
piqued; "for that reason, I do not understand why they travel."
"But," said Albert, emitting a volume of smoke and balancing his chair
on its hind legs, "only madmen, or blockheads like us, ever do travel.
Men in their senses do not quit their hotel in the Rue du Helder, their
walk on the Boulevard de Gand, and the Cafe de Paris." It is of course
understood that Albert resided in the aforesaid street, appeared every
day on the fashionable walk, and dined frequently at the only restaurant
where you can really dine, that is, if you are on good terms with
its frequenters. Signor Pastrini remained silent a short time; it was
evident that he was musing over this answer, which did not seem
very clear. "But," said Franz, in his turn interrupting his host's
meditations, "you had some motive for coming here, may I beg to know
what it was?"
"Ah, yes; you have ordered your carriage at eight o'clock precisely?"
"I have."
"You intend visiting Il Colosseo."
"You mean the Colosseum?"
"It is the same thing. You have told your coachman to leave the city
by the Porta del Popolo, to drive round the walls, and re-enter by the
Porta San Giovanni?"
"These are my words exactly."
"Well, this route is impossible."
"Impossible!"
"Very dangerous, to say the least."
"Dangerous!--and why?"
"On account of the famous Luigi Vampa."
"Pray, who may this famous Luigi Vampa be?" inquired Albert; "he may be
very famous at Rome, but I can assure you he is quite unknown at Paris."
"What! do you not know him?"
"I have not that honor."
"You have never heard his name?"
"Never."
"Well, then, he is a bandit, compared to whom the Decesaris and the
Gasparones were mere children."
"Now then, Albert," cried Franz, "here is a bandit for you at last."
"I forewarn you, Signor Pastrini, that I shall not believe one word of
what you are going to tell us; having told you this, begin."
"Once upon a time"--
"Well, go on." Signor Pastrini turned toward Franz, who seemed to him
the more reasonable of the two; we must do him justice,--he had had a
great many Frenchmen in his house, but had never been able to comprehend
them. "Excellency," said he gravely, addressing Franz, "if you look
upon me as a liar, it is useless for me to say anything; it was for your
interest!"--
"Albert does not say you are a liar, Signor Pastrini," said Franz, "but
that he will not believe what you are going to tell us,--but I will
believe all you say; so proceed."
"But if your excellency doubt my veracity"--
"Signor Pastrini," returned Franz, "you are more susceptible than
Cassandra, who was a prophetess, and yet no one believed her; while
you, at least, are sure of the credence of half your audience. Come, sit
down, and tell us all about this Signor Vampa."
"I had told your excellency he is the most famous bandit we have had
since the days of Mastrilla."
"Well, what has this bandit to do with the order I have given the
coachman to leave the city by the Porta del Popolo, and to re-enter by
the Porta San Giovanni?"
"This," replied Signor Pastrini, "that you will go out by one, but I
very much doubt your returning by the other."
"Why?" asked Franz.
"Because, after nightfall, you are not safe fifty yards from the gates."
"On your honor is that true?" cried Albert.
"Count," returned Signor Pastrini, hurt at Albert's repeated doubts
of the truth of his assertions, "I do not say this to you, but to your
companion, who knows Rome, and knows, too, that these things are not to
be laughed at."
"My dear fellow," said Albert, turning to Franz, "here is an admirable
adventure; we will fill our carriage with pistols, blunderbusses, and
double-barrelled guns. Luigi Vampa comes to take us, and we take him--we
bring him back to Rome, and present him to his holiness the Pope, who
asks how he can repay so great a service; then we merely ask for a
carriage and a pair of horses, and we see the Carnival in the carriage,
and doubtless the Roman people will crown us at the Capitol, and
proclaim us, like Curtius and the veiled Horatius, the preservers of
their country." Whilst Albert proposed this scheme, Signor Pastrini's
face assumed an expression impossible to describe.
"And pray," asked Franz, "where are these pistols, blunderbusses, and
other deadly weapons with which you intend filling the carriage?"
"Not out of my armory, for at Terracina I was plundered even of my
hunting-knife."
"I shared the same fate at Aquapendente."
"Do you know, Signor Pastrini," said Albert, lighting a second cigar at
the first, "that this practice is very convenient for bandits, and that
it seems to be due to an arrangement of their own." Doubtless Signor
Pastrini found this pleasantry compromising, for he only answered half
the question, and then he spoke to Franz, as the only one likely to
listen with attention. "Your excellency knows that it is not customary
to defend yourself when attacked by bandits."
"What!" cried Albert, whose courage revolted at the idea of being
plundered tamely, "not make any resistance!"
"No, for it would be useless. What could you do against a dozen bandits
who spring out of some pit, ruin, or aqueduct, and level their pieces at
you?"
"Eh, parbleu!--they should kill me."
The inn-keeper turned to Franz with an air that seemed to say, "Your
friend is decidedly mad."
"My dear Albert," returned Franz, "your answer is sublime, and worthy
the 'Let him die,' of Corneille, only, when Horace made that answer, the
safety of Rome was concerned; but, as for us, it is only to gratify
a whim, and it would be ridiculous to risk our lives for so foolish a
motive." Albert poured himself out a glass of lacryma Christi, which he
sipped at intervals, muttering some unintelligible words.
"Well, Signor Pastrini," said Franz, "now that my companion is quieted,
and you have seen how peaceful my intentions are, tell me who is this
Luigi Vampa. Is he a shepherd or a nobleman?--young or old?--tall or
short? Describe him, in order that, if we meet him by chance, like
Bugaboo John or Lara, we may recognize him."
"You could not apply to any one better able to inform you on all these
points, for I knew him when he was a child, and one day that I fell
into his hands, going from Ferentino to Alatri, he, fortunately for me,
recollected me, and set me free, not only without ransom, but made me a
present of a very splendid watch, and related his history to me."
"Let us see the watch," said Albert.
Signor Pastrini drew from his fob a magnificent Breguet, bearing the
