they wanted so desperately to believe it was possible. They wanted it too much. That made them fear.
Jared’s voice whipped out with a sudden harshness. “Were you able toaccess my cabin?”
“Not for a long time.”
“And then you told the Seeker.”
“No.”
“No? Why not?”
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”
Ian’s eyes were frozen wide.
Jared’s voice changed, became low, almost tender. So much more dangerous than the shouting. “Why
didn’t you want to tell her?”
My jaw locked hard. It was notthe secret, but still, it was a secret he would have to beat out of me. In
this moment, my determination to hold my tongue had less to do with self-preservation than it did with a
stupid, grudging kind of pride. I wouldnot tell this man who despised me that I loved him.
He watched the defiance flash in my eyes, and he seemed to understand what it would take to get this
answer. He decided to skip it—or maybe to come back to it later, save it for last, in case I wouldn’t be
able to answer any more questions when he was done with me.
“Why weren’t you able to access everything? Is that… normal?”
This question was very dangerous, too. For the first time so far, I told an outright lie.
“She fell a long way. The body was damaged.”
Lying did not come easily to me; this lie fell flat. Jared and Ian both reacted to the false note. Jared’s
head cocked to the side; one of Ian’s ink black eyebrows rose.
“Why isn’t this Seeker giving up like the rest?” Ian asked.
I was abruptly exhausted. I knew they could keep this up all night,would keep this up all night if I
continued to answer, and eventually I would make a mistake. I slumped against the wall and closed my
eyes.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “She’s not like other souls. She’s…annoying. ”
Ian laughed once—a startled sound.
“And you—are you like other…souls? ” Jared asked.
I opened my eyes and stared at him wearily for a long moment.What a stupid question, I thought. Then
I shut my eyes tight, buried my face against my knees, and wrapped my arms around my head.
Either Jared understood that I was done speaking or his body was complaining too loudly to be ignored.
He grunted a few times as he squeezed himself out of the opening of my cave, taking the lamp with him,
and then groaned quietly as he stretched.
“That was unexpected,” Ian whispered.
“Lies, of course,” Jared whispered back. I could just barely make out their words. They probably didn’t
realize how the sound echoed back to me in here. “Only… I can’t quite figure out what it wants us to
believe—where it’s trying to lead us.”
“I don’t think it’s lying. Well, except the one time. Did you notice?”
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”
“Jared, when have you ever met a parasite who could lie about anything? Except a Seeker, of course.”
“Which it must be.”
“Are you serious?”
“It’s the best explanation.”
“She—itis the furthest thing from a Seeker I’ve ever seen. If a Seeker had any idea how to find us, it
would have brought an army.”
“And they wouldn’t have found anything. But she—it got in, didn’t it?”
“It’s almost been killed half a dozen —”
“Yet it’s still breathing, isn’t it?”
They were quiet for a long time. So long that I started to think about moving out of the cramped ball I
was curled in, but I didn’t want to make any noise by lying down. I wished Ian would leave so I could
sleep. The adrenaline left me so worn out when it drained from my system.
“I think I’m going to go talk to Jeb,” Ian eventually whispered.
“Oh,that’s a great idea.” Jared’s voice was thick with sarcasm.
“Do you remember that first night? When it jumped between you and Kyle? That was bizarre.”
“It was just trying to find a way to stay alive, to escape.…”
“By giving Kyle the go-ahead to kill her—it? Good plan.”
“It worked.”
“Jeb’s gun worked. Did she know he was on his way?”
“You’re overthinking this, Ian. That’s what it wants.”
“I don’t think you’re right. I don’t know why… but I don’t think she wants us to think about her at all.” I
heard Ian get to his feet. “You know what’s really twisted?” he muttered, his voice no longer a whisper.
“What’s that?”
“I feltguilty —guilty as hell—watching her flinch away from us. Seeing the black marks on her neck.”
“You can’t let it get to you like that.” Jared was suddenly disturbed. “It’s not human. Don’t forget that.”
“Just because she isn’t human, do you think that means she doesn’t feel pain?” Ian asked as his voice
faded into the distance. “That she doesn’t feel just like a girl who’s been beaten—beaten by us?”
“See you around, Jared.”
Jared didn’t relax for a long time after Ian left; he paced for a while, back and forth in front of the cave,
and then sat on the mat, blocking my light, and muttered incomprehensibly to himself. I gave up waiting
for him to fall asleep, and stretched out as well as I could on the bowl-like floor. He jumped when my
movement made noise, and then started muttering to himself again.
“Guilty,”he grumbled in scathing tones. “Letting it get to him. Just like Jeb, like Jamie. Can’t let this go
on. Stupid to let it live.”
Goose bumps rose on my arms, but I tried to ignore them. If I panicked every time he thought about
killing me, I’d never have a moment’s peace. I turned onto my stomach to bend my spine in the other
direction, and he jerked again and then lapsed into silence. I was sure he was still brooding when I finally
drifted to sleep.
When I woke up, Jared was sitting on the mat where I could see him, elbows on knees, his head leaning
against one fist.
I didn’t feel as if I’d slept more than an hour or two, but I was too sore to try to go back to sleep right
away. Instead, I fretted about Ian’s visit, worrying that Jared would work even harder to keep me
secluded after Ian’s strange reaction. Why couldn’t Ian have kept his mouth shut about feeling guilty? If
he knew he was capable of guilt, why did he go around strangling people in the first place? Melanie was
irritated with Ian, too, and nervous about the outcome of his qualms.
Our worries were interrupted after just a few minutes.
“’S just me,” I heard Jeb call. “Don’t get worked up.”
Jared cocked the gun.
“Go ahead and shoot me, kid. Go ahead.” The sound of Jeb’s voice got closer with every word.
Jared sighed and put the gun down. “Please leave.”
“Need to talk to you,” Jeb said, huffing as he sat down across from Jared. “Hey, there,” he said in my
direction, nodding.
“You know how much I hate that,” Jared muttered.
“Yep.”
“Ian already told me about the Seekers —”
“I know. I was just talkin’ with him about it.”
“Great. Then what do you want?”
“Not so much whatI want. It’s what everybody needs. We’re running low on just about everything. We
need a real comprehensive supply run.”
“Okay,” Jeb said easily, bracing himself against the wall to rise again.
Jared sighed. It seemed his suggestion had been a bluff. He folded as soon as Jeb took him up on it.
“No. Not Kyle. He’s too…”
Jeb chuckled. “Almost got us in some real hot water the last time he was out alone, didn’t he? Not one
to think things through. Ian, then?”
“He thinks things throughtoo much.”
“Brandt?”
“He’s no good for the long trips. Starts getting panicked a few weeks in. Makes mistakes.”
“Okay, you tell me who, then.”
The seconds passed and I heard Jared suck in a breath now and then, each time as if he was about to
give Jeb an answer, but then he just exhaled and said nothing.
“Ian and Kyle together?” Jeb asked. “Maybe they could balance each other out.”
Jared groaned. “Like the last time? Okay, okay, I know it has to be me.”
“You’re the best,” Jeb agreed. “You changed our lives when you showed up here.”
Melanie and I nodded to ourselves; this didn’t surprise either of us.
Jared is magic. Jamie and I were perfectly safe while Jared’s instincts guided us; we never came
close to getting caught. If it had been Jared in Chicago, I’m sure he would have made it out fine.
Jared jerked his shoulder toward me. “What about… ?”
“I’ll keep an eye on her when I can. And I’ll expect you to take Kyle with you. That oughta help.”
“That won’t be enough—Kyle gone and you keeping an eye on her when you can. She… it won’t last
long.”
Jeb shrugged. “I’ll do my best. That’s all I can do.”
Jared started to shake his head slowly back and forth.
“How long can you stay down here?” Jeb asked him.
“I don’t know,” Jared whispered.
There was a long silence. After a few minutes, Jeb began whistling tunelessly.
“I’ll leave tonight.” The words were slow, full of resignation but also relief. His voice changed slightly,
got a little less defensive. It was as though he was making the transition back to who he’d been here
before I showed up. Letting one responsibility slide from his shoulders and putting another, more
welcome one in its place.
He was giving up on keeping me alive, letting nature—or rather mob justice—take its course. When he
returned, and I was dead, he wouldn’t hold anyone responsible. He would not mourn. All this I could
hear in those three words.
I knew the human exaggeration for sorrow—abroken heart. Melanie remembered speaking the phrase
herself. But I’d always thought of it as a hyperbole, a traditional description for something that had no
real physiological link, like a green thumb. So I wasn’t expecting the pain in my chest. The nausea, yes,
the swelling in my throat, yes, and, yes, the tears burning in my eyes. But what was the ripping sensation
just under my rib cage? It made no logical sense.
And it wasn’t just ripping, but twisting and pulling in different directions. Because Melanie’s heart broke,
too, and it was a separate sensation, as if we’d grown another organ to compensate for our twin
awarenesses. A double heart for a double mind. Twice the pain.
He’s leaving,she sobbed.We’ll never see him again. She didn’t question the fact that we were going
to die.
I wanted to weep with her, but someone had to keep her head. I bit my hand to hold the moan back.
“That’s probably best,” Jeb said.
“I’ll need to get some things organized.…” Already Jared’s mind was far, far away from this
claustrophobic corridor.
“I’ll take over here, then. Have a safe trip.”
“Thanks. Guess I’ll see you when I see you, Jeb.”
“Guess so.”
Jared handed the gun back to Jeb, stood up, and brushed absently at the dust on his clothes. Then he
was off, hurrying down the hall with his familiar quick step, his mind on other things. Not one glance in my
direction, not one more thought for my fate.
I listened to the fading sound of his footsteps until they were gone. Then, forgetting Jeb’s existence, I
pressed my face into my hands and sobbed.
CHAPTER 20
Freed
Jeb let me cry myself out without interrupting. He didn’t comment all through the following sniffles. It was
only when I’d been completely silent for a good half hour that he spoke.
I didn’t answer. I was too much in the habit of silence.
“You want to come out here and stretch?” he offered. “My back is aching just thinking about that stupid
hole.”
Ironically, considering my week of maddening silence, I wasn’t in the mood for company. But his offer
wasn’t one I could refuse. Before I could think about it, my hands were pulling me through the exit.
Jeb was sitting with crossed legs on the mat. I watched him for some reaction as I shook out my arms
and legs and rolled my shoulders, but he had his eyes closed. Like the time of Jamie’s visit, he looked
asleep.
How long had it been since I’d seen Jamie? And how was he now? My already sore heart gave a painful
little lurch.
“Feel better?” Jeb asked, his eyes opening.
I shrugged.
“It’s going to be okay, you know.” He grinned a wide, face-stretching grin. “That stuff I said to Jared…
Well, I won’t say Ilied, exactly, because it’s all true if you look at it from a certain angle, but from
another angle, it wasn’t so much the truth as it was what he needed to hear.”
I just stared; I didn’t understand a word of what he was saying.
“Anyway, Jared needs a break from this. Not from you, kid,” he added quickly, “but from the situation.
He’ll gain some perspective while he’s away.”
I wondered how he seemed to know exactly which words and phrases would cut at me. And, more than
that, why should Jeb care if his words hurt me, or even if my back was aching and throbbing? His
kindness toward me was frightening in its own way because it was incomprehensible. At least Jared’s
actions made sense. Kyle’s and Ian’s murder attempts, the doctor’s cheerful eagerness to hurt
me—these behaviors also were logical. Not kindness. What did Jeb want from me?
“Don’t look so glum,” Jeb urged. “There’s a bright side to this. Jared was being real pigheaded about
you, and now that he’s temporarily out of the picture, it’s bound to make things more comfortable.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to decide what he meant.
“For example,” he went on. “This space here we usually use for storage. Now, when Jared and the guys
get back, we’re going to need someplace to put all the stuff they bring home with them. So we might as
well find a new place for you now. Something a little bigger, maybe? Something with a bed?” He smiled
again as he dangled the carrot in front of me.
I waited for him to snatch it away, to tell me he was joking.
Instead, his eyes—the color of faded blue jeans—became very, very gentle. Something about the
expression in them brought the lump back to my throat.
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”
I found that I couldn’t doubt the earnest look on his face. For the second time in an hour, I put my face
in my hands and cried.
He got to his feet and patted me awkwardly on the shoulder. He didn’t seem comfortable with tears.
“There, there,” he mumbled.
I got control of myself more quickly this time. When I wiped the wet from my eyes and smiled tentatively
at him, he nodded in approval.
“That’s a girl,” he said, patting me again. “Now, we’ll have to hang out here until we’re sure Jared’s
really gone and can’t catch us.” He grinned conspiratorially. “Then we’ll have some fun!”
