heart hammering too fast. In my mirrors, the hatch remained empty. I didn’t see the man emerge before
the ship was out of sight.
Ian climbed into the passenger seat. “Doesn’t look too hard.”
“It was very good luck with the timing. You might have to wait longer for an opportunity next time.”
Ian reached over to take my hand. “You’re the good-luck charm.”
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.
“Do you feel better now that she’s safe?”
“Yes.”
I saw his head turn sharply as he heard the unexpected sound of a lie in my voice. I didn’t meet his gaze.
“Let’s go catch some Healers,” I muttered.
Ian was silent and thoughtful as we drove the short distance to the small Healing facility.
I’d thought the second task would be the challenge, the danger. The plan was that I would—if the
conditions and numbers were right—try to lead a Healer or two out of the facility under the pretext that I
had an injured friend in my van. An old trick, but one that would work only too well on the unsuspecting,
trusting Healers.
As it turned out, I didn’t even have to go in. I pulled into the lot just as two middle-aged Healers, a man
and a woman wearing purple scrubs, were getting into a car. Their shift over, they were heading home.
The car was around the corner from the entrance. No one else was in sight.
Ian nodded tensely.
I stopped the van right behind their car. They looked up, surprised.
I opened my door and slid out. My voice was thick with tears, my face twisted with remorse, and that
helped to fool them.
“My friend is in the back—I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”
They responded with the instant concern I knew they would show. I hurried to open the back doors for
them, and they followed right behind. Ian went around the other side. Jared was ready with the
chloroform.
I didn’t watch.
It took just seconds. Jared hauled the unconscious bodies into the back, and Ian slammed the doors
shut. Ian stared at my tear-swollen eyes for just a second, then took the driver’s seat.
I rode shotgun. He held my hand again.
“Sorry, Wanda. I know this is hard for you.”
“Yes.” He had no idea how hard, and for how many different reasons.
He squeezed my fingers. “But that went well, at least. You make an excellent charm.”
Too well. Both missions had gone too perfectly, too fast. Fate was rushing me.
He drove back toward the freeway. After a few minutes, I saw a bright, familiar sign in the distance. I
took a deep breath and wiped my eyes clear.
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”
“Anything you want.”
“I want fast food.”
He laughed. “No problem.”
We switched seats in the parking lot, and I drove up to the ordering box.
“What do you want?” I asked Ian.
“Nothing. I’m getting a kick out of watching you do something for yourself. This has to be a first.”
I didn’t smile at his joke. To me, this was sort of a last meal—the final gift to the condemned. I wouldn’t
leave the caves again.
“Jared, how about you?”
“Two of whatever you’re having.”
So I ordered three cheeseburgers, three bags of fries, and three strawberry shakes.
After I got my food, Ian and I switched again so I could eat while he drove.
“Eew,” he said, watching me dip a french fry into the shake.
“You should try it. It’s good.” I offered him a well-coated fry.
He shrugged and took it. He popped it into his mouth and chewed. “Interesting.”
I laughed. “Melanie thinks it’s gross, too.” That’s why I’d cultivated the habit in the beginning. It was
funny now to think how I’d gone out of my way to annoy her.
I wasn’t really hungry. I’d just wanted some of the flavors I particularly remembered, one more time. Ian
finished off half my burger when I was full.
We made it home without incident. We saw no sign of the Seekers’ surveillance. Perhaps they’d
accepted the coincidence. Maybe they thought it inevitable—wander the desert alone long enough, and
something bad would happen to you. We’d had a saying like that on the Mists Planet: Cross too many
ice fields alone, and wind up a claw beast’s meal. That was a rough translation. It sounded better in Bear.
There was a large reception waiting for us.
I smiled halfheartedly at my friends: Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath, and Heidi. My true friends were dwindling.
No Walter, no Wes. I didn’t know where Lily was. This made me sad. Maybe I didn’t want to live on
this sad planet with so much death. Maybe nothingness was better.
It also made me sad, petty as it was, to see Lucina standing beside Lacey, with Reid and Violetta on the
other side. They were talking animatedly, asking questions, it looked like. Lacey was holding Freedom
I’d never been allowed near the child, but Lacey was already one of them. Trusted.
We went straight to the south tunnel, Jared and Ian laboring under the weight of the Healers. Ian had the
heavier one, the man, and sweat ran down his fair face. Jeb shooed the others back at the tunnel entrance
and then followed us.
Doc was waiting for us in the hospital, rubbing his hands together absently, as if washing them.
Time continued to speed up. The brighter lamp was lit. The Healers were given No Pain and laid out
facedown on the cots. Jared showed Ian how to activate the tanks. They held them ready, Ian wincing at
the stunning cold. Doc stood over the female, scalpel in hand and medicines laid out in a row.
“Wanda?” he asked.
My heart squeezed inward painfully. “Do you swear, Doc?All of my terms? Do you promise me on your
own life?”
“I do. I will meet all of your terms, Wanda. I swear it.”
“Jared?”
“Yes. Absolutely no killing, ever.”
“Ian?”
“I’ll protect them with my own life, Wanda.”
“Jeb?”
“It’s my house. Anyone who can’t abide by this agreement will have to get out.”
I nodded, tears in my eyes. “Okay, then. Let’s get it over with.”
Doc, excited again, cut into the Healer until he could see the silver gleam. He set the scalpel quickly
aside. “Now what?”
I put my hand on his.
“Trace up the back ridge. Can you feel that? Feel the shape of the segments. They get smaller toward
the anterior section. Okay, at the end you should feel three small… stubby things. Do you feel what I’m
talking about?”
“Yes,” he breathed.
“Good. Those are the anterior antennae. Start there. Now, very gently, roll your finger under the body.
Find the line of attachments. They’ll feel tight, like wires.”
He nodded.
“Now, rub softly in toward the body. Knead it lightly.”
Doc’s voice went up in pitch, turned a little panicky. “It’s moving.”
“That’s good—it means you’re doing it right. Give it time to retract. Wait till it rolls up a bit, then take it
into your hand.”
“Okay.” His voice shook.
I reached toward Ian. “Give me your hand.”
I felt Ian’s hand wind around mine. I turned it over, curled his hand into a cup, and pulled it close to
Doc’s operation site.
“Give the soul to Ian—gently, please.”
Ian would be the perfect assistant. When I was gone, who else would take such care with my little
relatives?
Doc passed the soul into Ian’s waiting hand, then turned at once to heal the human body.
Ian stared at the silver ribbon in his hand, his face full of wonder rather than revulsion. It felt warmer
inside my chest while I watched his reaction.
“It’s pretty,” he whispered, surprised. No matter how he felt about me, he’d been conditioned to expect
a parasite, a centipede, a monster. Cleaning up severed bodies had not prepared him for the beauty here.
“I think so, too. Let it slide into your tank.”
Ian held the soul cupped in his hand for one more second, as if memorizing the sight and feel. Then, with
delicate care, he let it glide into the cold.
Jared showed him how to latch the lid.
A weight fell off my shoulders.
It was done. It was too late to change my mind. This didn’t feel as horrible as I’d anticipated, because I
felt sure these four humans would care for the souls just as I would. When I was gone.
“Look out!” Jeb suddenly shouted. The gun came up in his hands, pointed past us.
We whirled toward the danger, and Jared’s tank fell to the floor as he jumped toward the male Healer,
who was on his knees on the cot, staring at us in shock. Ian had the presence of mind to hold on to his
tank.
“Chloroform,” Jared shouted as he tackled the Healer, pinning him back down to the cot. But it was too
me—the lantern’s rays danced off both his eyes and mine, making diamond patterns on the wall.
“Why?” he asked me.
Then his face went blank, and his body slumped, unresisting, to the cot. Two trails of blood flowed from
his nostrils.
“No!”I screamed, lurching to his inert form, knowing it was far too late. “No!”
CHAPTER 54
Forgotten
Elizabeth?” I asked. “Anne? Karen? What’s your name? C’mon. I know you know it.”
The Healer’s body was still limp on the cot. It had been a long time—how long, I wasn’t sure. Hours
and hours. I hadn’t slept yet, though the sun was far up in the sky. Doc had climbed out onto the
mountain to pull the tarps away, and the sun beamed brightly through the holes in the ceiling, hot on my
skin. I’d moved the nameless woman so that her face would be out of the glare.
I touched her face now lightly, patting the soft brown hair, woven through with white strands, away from
her face.
“Julie? Brittany? Angela? Patricia? Am I getting close? Talk to me. Please?”
Everyone but Doc—snoring quietly on a cot in the darkest corner of the hospital—had gone away hours
ago. Some to bury the host body we’d lost. I cringed, thinking of his bewildered question, and the
sudden way his face had gone slack.
Why?he’d asked me.
I so much wished that the soul had waited for an answer, so I could have tried to explain it to him. He
might even have understood. After all, what was more important, in the end, than love? To a soul, wasn’t
that the heart of everything? And love would have been my answer.
Maybe, if he’d waited, he would have seen the truth of that. If he’d really understood, I was sure he
would have let the human body live.
The request would probably have made little sense to him, though. The body washis body, not a
separate entity. His suicide was simply that to him, not a murder, too. Only one life had ended. And
perhaps he was right.
At least the souls had survived. The light on his tank glowed dull red beside hers; I couldn’t ask for a
greater evidence of commitment from my humans than this, the sparing of his life.
“Mary? Margaret? Susan? Jill?”
Though Doc slept and I was otherwise alone, I could feel the echo of the tension the others had left
The tension lingered because the woman had not woken up when the chloroform wore off. She had not
moved. She was still breathing, her heart was still beating, but she had not responded to any of Doc’s
efforts to revive her.
Was it too late? Was she lost? Was she already gone? Just as dead as the male body?
Were all of them? Were there only a very few, like the Seeker’s host, Lacey, and Melanie—the
shouters, the resisters—who could be brought back? Was everyone else gone?
Was Lacey an anomaly? Would Melanie come back the way she had… or was even that in question?
I’m not lost. I’m here.But Mel’s mental voice was defensive. She worried, too.
Yes, you are here. And you will stay here,I promised.
With a sigh, I returned to my efforts. My doomed efforts?
“I know you have a name,” I told the woman. “Is it Rebecca? Alexandra? Olivia? Something simpler,
maybe… Jane? Jean? Joan?”
It was better than nothing, I thought glumly. At least I’d given them a way to help themselves if they were
ever taken. I could help the resisters, if no one else.
It didn’t seem like enough.
“You’re not giving me much to work with,” I murmured. I took her hand in both of mine, chafed it softly.
“It would really be nice if you would make an effort. My friends are going to be depressed enough. They
could use some good news. Besides, with Kyle still gone… It will be hard to evacuate everyone without
having to carry you around, too. I know you want to help. This is your family here, you know. These are
your kind. They’re very nice. Most of them. You’ll like them.”
The gently lined face was vacant with unconsciousness. She was quite pretty in an inconspicuous
way—her features very symmetrical on her oval face. Forty-five, maybe a little younger, maybe a little
older. It was hard to tell with no animation in the face.
“They need you,” I went on, pleading now. “You can help them. You know so much that I never knew.
Doc tries so hard. He deserves some help. He’s a good man. You’ve been a Healer for a while now;
some of that care for the well-being of others must have rubbed off on you. You’ll like Doc, I think.
“Is your name Sarah? Emily? Kristin?”
I stroked her soft cheek, but there was no response, so I took her limp hand in mine again. I gazed at
the blue sky through the holes in the high ceiling. My mind wandered.
“I wonder what they’ll do if Kyle never comes back. How long will they hide? Will they have to find a
new home somewhere else? There are so many of them.… It won’t be easy. I wish I could help them,
but even if I could stay, I don’t have any answers.
“Maybe they’ll get to stay here… somehow. Maybe Kyle won’t mess up.” I laughed humorlessly,
“I wonder what it’s like here when it gets cold. I can barely re-member feeling cold. And what if it rains?
It has to rain here sometime, doesn’t it? With all these holes in the roof, it must get really wet. Where
does everyone sleep then, I wonder.” I sighed. “Maybe I’ll get to find out. Probably shouldn’t bet on
that, though. Aren’t you curious at all? If you would wake up, you could get the answers.I’m curious.
Maybe I’ll ask Ian about it. It’s funny to imagine things changing here.… I guess summer can’t last
forever.”
Her fingers fluttered for one second in my hand.
It took me by surprise because my mind had wandered away from the woman on the cot, beginning to
sink into the melancholy that was always conveniently near these days.
I stared down at her; there was no change—the hand in mine was limp, her face still vacant. Maybe I’d
imagined the movement.
