he needs for the services. But now that you mention it, I had been worrying
about the house myself. Would you consider turning it over to the monas-
tery? The sight of it upsets me terribly, and you know how unfortunate
attachments of that sort are. Might we get it off our minds? It is for you
to decide, of course--your wishes are my own, and my only real wish is
for you to be frank with me. Do let me know, please, what you would like
to have done."
Suddenly he had become practical. She had thought, apparently, to
offer images and scrolls of her own, and to make the memorial services her
excuse for a few quiet days at Uji.
"Impossible, quite impossible. Do, I beg of you, try to keep yourself
from worrying about these things."
The sun was higher, the women were assembling, and if he were to
stay longer he would arouse suspicions.
"I am not used to being kept at quite such a distance, and I am not
at all comfortable. But I shall come again."
It would be out of character for Niou not to ask questions. To forestall
them, Kaoru looked in upon Niou's chamberlain, who was also one of the
city magistrates.
"I had been told that the prince came back from the palace last night,
and was disappointed to find him still away. I am going to the palace
myself."
"He left word that he would be back today."
"I see. I will try to stop by this evening."
<N 9>
Each interview with Nakanokimi, such a paragon of elegance and
sensibility, left him regretting more than ever that he had so freely re-
nounced his claims. Why had he felt constrained to go against Oigimi's
wishes? Why had he been so assiduous in seeking out unhappiness, mak-
ing doubly sure that he had no one to reprove but himself? He turned more
than ever to fasting and meditation. His mother, though still girlish and
not much given to worry, was upset.
"I do not mean to live forever, as they say, and it would be a great
comfort to see you behaving like other boys. I am a nun and in no position
to stop you if you are absolutely set on running away from the world; but
I rather imagine that I will have certain regrets when my time comes."
Not wanting to upset her further, he tried to make it seem that he had
not a care in the world.
Yu~giri meanwhile had refurbished the northeast quarter at Rokujo~,
<P 897>
exhausting his very considerable resources to make it acceptable to the
most demanding of bridegrooms. The moon of the sixteenth night had
long since risen and still Yu~giri and his family waited. All very embarrass-
ing, thought Yu~giri as he sent off a messenger. The evidence was too clear
that the match had failed to delight Niou.
"He left the palace earlier in the evening," reported the man, "and it
is said that he went back to Nijo~."
Yu~giri was not at all pleased. Ordinary decency asked that this night
of all nights the prince put other women from his thoughts. But the world
would be all too ready to laugh if they passed the night in waiting, and
so he sent off a message to Nijo~ with one of his sons, a guards captain:
"Even the moon deigns to come to this dwelling of mine.
The night draws on, we await a sign of you."
Niou had not wished to upset Nakanokimi further by having her see
him depart for Rokujo~. He therefore sent a message from the palace; but
her reply, whatever it might have been, seems to have given him pause.
He did, after all, slip off to Nijo~. Once there, he felt no need for other
company. The captain arrived as the two of them were looking out at the
moon and Niou, seeking desperately to comfort her, was pouring forth a
stream of vows. Determined not to let her unhappiness show, she managed
an appearance of composure and serenity. Her refusal to chide him was far
more moving than clear evidence of injured feelings could possibly have
been. The arrival of the captain reminded him that the girl at Rokujo~ might
be unhappy too.
"I shall be back in no time. You are not to sit here looking at the
moon. And you must remember how empty the hours will be until I am
with you again." A most uncomfortable situation, he said to himself as he
made his way to the main hall by an inconspicuous route.
Meanwhile, her eyes on the retreating figure, Nakanokimi was telling
herself that a lady did not surrender to unworthy emotions. Her pillow
might threaten to float away, but her heart must be kept under tight
control.
Fate had been unkind to them, to her sister and her, from the outset.
They had had only their father, a man intent upon cutting his ties with
the world. Life in the mountains had been lonely and monotonous, but she
had not known as she now knew the deep cruelty of the world. There had
been the one death and then the other. Not wanting to linger for even a
moment after her father and sister, she had deceived herself into thinking
that such grief and longing must be unique. But she had lived on, and had
come to be treated rather more like a human being than, in the circum-
<P 898>
stances, one might have expected. Though she had tried to tell herself that
this happiness could not last, there Niou had been beside her, the most
endearing of men, and the worry and sorrow had gradually subsided. How
very ironical that the healing powers of time should have left her all the
less prepared for this new shock. It was the end.
Would she not see him from time to time?--for he had not, after all,
departed the world. Yet his behavior tonight threw everything, past and
future, into a meaningless jumble, and her efforts to find a light through
the gloom were unavailing. There would be a change of some sort if she
but lived long enough, she told herself over and over again, knowing that
to give up would indeed be the end. Her anguish, as the night drew on,
had for company the rising moon, the clear moon, "of the Mount of
Women Forsaken."
<P 899>
To one who knew the wild winds from the mountains of Uji, the pine
breeze here was gentleness itself; but tonight she would have preferred the
wind through those oaks.
"Never, beneath the pines of that mountain village,
Did I know the autumn winds to lash at me so."
So it is that ancient miseries cease to be real.
"Do please come inside, my lady. You mustn't sit there looking up at
the moon. And what will become of you if you go on refusing to eat? You
haven't touched a thing in days."
And the women talked among themselves: "It drives a person frantic.
Especially a person that's seen what can happen when a lady won't eat."
Loud sighs punctuated these remarks. "Things seemed to be going so well.
But he won't _leave_ her, surely he won't. Yes, I agree with you. Things could
be better. But you don't mean to tell me love like that just goes away?"
Nakanokimi heard it all, and wished that they would be quiet. Far
better to watch and wait. It may have been, of course, that she did not want
to risk diluting her resentment by sharing it with others.
Women who knew of the events leading up to Oigimi's death had
cause to wonder at the erratic ways of fate. The other young gentleman
had been so good about waiting on their other young lady; and just see
how he had been rewarded!
Niou was troubled, but only briefly. Exciting affairs near at hand had
the power to distract him, and soon he was lost in preparations to charm
his new lady and her family. He had a catching new perfume burnt into
his robes, and set forth most grandly. At Rokujo~ everything was more than
ready. Niou's first impression of his bride was that she was rather ample,
not at all the fragile thing he had somehow expected. And what of her
disposition? Might she be noisy, gaudy, aggressive, a touch masculine,
even? None of these qualities would have pleased him. But she proved to
be receptive to his attentions, and he became quite engrossed in them. The
autumn night (he had been tardy) was over in a trice.
Back at Nijo~ the next morning, he did not call upon Nakanokimi
immediately. After resting for a time in the main hall, he got off the
morning-after note that would be expected at Rokujo~.
The women were nudging one another. "You can see he wasn't disap-
pointed. And there _she_ is, poor dear, over there all by herself. For all I know,
he may be able to take care of all the women under the sun, but she has
real competition on her hands." They knew the household well, and
among them were some who were not prepared to hold back their thoughts
about the trials that beset its new mistress.
Niou would have liked to wait in the main hall until a reply came from
Rokujo~. But he knew that last night would have been far more of a trial
for Nakanokimi than his nights at court. He hurried to her wing of the
<P 900>
house, a brisk and dashing figure once more, refreshed now from sleep. He
found Nakanokimi resting. She raised herself shyly to an elbow. Weeping
had added a touch of wistfulness to her beauty. He gazed at her for a time,
choked with tears. As she looked away in embarrassment, her hair fell over
her shoulders in a strong, graceful flow, lovelier than anything he had ever
seen.
He too was somewhat confused, and affectionate words gave way to
talk of more practical matters." What can be the matter with you? Nothing
but the heat, you have said, and so I have waited for the cool weather.
Well, here it is, and you still are not yourself. You upset me a great deal,
really you do. I have ordered all the prayers that usually work. Maybe we
should give them another try. Isn't there a priest somewhere who can give
us a guarantee? Maybe we should have that bishop, what was his name,
come down and stay with you."
Yes, he was clever. She was not pleased, but felt that she had to
answer. "I have known all along that I am not like other people. It is
nothing new. Give it time, and it will go away."
"How sure of yourself you are!" He smiled. There was no one like her
for delighting with sheer gentleness. And that thought led to a more
exciting one, for he had not forgotten his other lady. Yet no one would
have judged from the appearances that he was any less fond of
Nakanokimi than he had always been. His vows of steadfastness in this
life and the next went on and on, and even became somewhat repetitious.
"I shall not stay forever," she was thinking. "Even while I wait I am
not likely to escape his cruelty; and so, precisely because my hopes for the
next world are dim, I must turn to him again, unchastened, in this
one."
Thus she fought to hold back the tears, but today she was not up to
the effort. She had done everything these last days to keep her thoughts
to herself. She had not wanted him to know that he had hurt her. But too
many sad thoughts came pouring in at once, and after the first tears the
flow was not easy to stop. Embarrassed, angry at herself, she turned away.
He pulled her to him. "The wonderful way you have of answering
exactly to what a man wants--it has always been your principal virtue. Am
<P 901>
I to believe that you have let something come between us? Have your
feelings changed in one short night?" He brushed her tears away with his
own sleeve.
"'Have your feelings changed in one short night?'" She managed a
trace of a smile." I can think of someone who might be asked the ques-
tion."
"Come, my dear. You are being very childish. I have nothing to hide
from you, nothing on my conscience; and if I tried to hide anything, do
you think it would do me any good? You are very innocent, and that is
one of my reasons for loving you, but innocence is not always the easiest
thing in the world to live with. Put yourself in my place, if you can, for
a moment. Give the matter a little thought. I am in no position to let my
person 'go where my heart would lead it.' I have certain hopes, and if
anything comes of them I shall soon have ways of demonstrating how
deep, how very deep indeed, my affection for you is. I would not argue that
it is going to be easy for you, but 'let us see, while life permits.'"
Just then the messenger whom he had sent to Rokujo~ returned, hope-
lessly drunk. Forgetting that the situation called for a certain restraint, he
came staggering up to the front veranda of this west wing, quite buried in
the wondrous silks and satins with which the Rokujo~ house had rewarded
him. The stupidest of serving women would have had no trouble guessing
his mission--though she might have had to give a thought or two to the
question of when Niou had found time for his letter. He had nothing
which he really wished to conceal from Nakanokimi. The abruptness of
the confrontation had been unfortunate, but it would do no good now to
reprove the messenger for his tactlessness.
A woman brought in the letter. For better or worse, thought Niou, no
secret must henceforth stand between them. It was a small relief to see that
the letter seemed to be not in the hand of Rokunokimi herself but that of
her stepmother. He put it aside, for these things were embarrassing, even
when a scrivener intervened.
The hand was strong and practiced. "I urged her to write her own
letter, since I did not wish to seem forward; but she is not entirely herself.
"It droops, the maiden flower, as never before.
The dew this morning has left it all too swiftly.
"Did you have to go so soon?"
"Complaining, always complaining. Why won't they just let me be
alone with you? I do find myself in the oddest situations."
<P 902>
Most people, accustomed to thinking that one wife is enough for a
man, would have found it difficult to sympathize. But his affairs were
