饭饭TXT > 海外名作 > 《白痴/The Idiot(英文版)》作者:[俄]陀思妥耶夫斯基【完结】 > 白痴.txt

第 63 页

作者:俄-陀思妥耶夫斯基 当前章节:15385 字 更新时间:2026-6-21 16:46

‘I knew yesterday that you didn’t love me.’

‘Why so? why so? Because I envy you, eh? You always

think that, I know. But do you know why I am saying all

this? Look here! I must have some more champagne—

pour me out some, Keller, will you?’ The Idiot

702 of 1149

‘No, you’re not to drink any more, Hippolyte. I won’t

let you.’ The prince moved the glass away.

‘Well perhaps you’re right,’ said Hippolyte, musing.

They might say—yet, devil take them! what does it

matter?—prince, what can it matter what people will say

of us THEN, eh? I believe I’m half asleep. I’ve had such a

dreadful dream—I’ve only just remembered it. Prince, I

don’t wish you such dreams as that, though sure enough,

perhaps, I DON’T love you. Why wish a man evil,

though you do not love him, eh? Give me your hand—let

me press it sincerely. There—you’ve given me your

hand—you must feel that I DO press it sincerely, don’t

you? I don’t think I shall drink any more. What time is it?

Never mind, I know the time. The time has come, at all

events. What! they are laying supper over there, are they?

Then this table is free? Capital, gentlemen! I—hem! these

gentlemen are not listening. Prince, I will just read over an

article I have here. Supper is more interesting, of course,

but—‘

Here Hippolyte suddenly, and most unexpectedly,

pulled out of his breast-pocket a large sealed paper. This

imposing-looking document he placed upon the table

before him. The Idiot

703 of 1149

The effect of this sudden action upon the company was

instantaneous. Evgenie Pavlovitch almost bounded off his

chair in excitement. Rogojin drew nearer to the table

with a look on his face as if he knew what was coming.

Gania came nearer too; so did Lebedeff and the others—

the paper seemed to be an object of great interest to the

company in general.

‘What have you got there?’ asked the prince, with

some anxiety.

‘At the first glimpse of the rising sun, prince, I will go

to bed. I told you I would, word of honour! You shall

see!’ cried Hippolyte. ‘You think I’m not capable of

opening this packet, do you?’ He glared defiantly round at

the audience in general.

The prince observed that he was trembling all over.

‘None of us ever thought such a thing!’ Muishkin

replied for all. ‘Why should you suppose it of us? And

what are you going to read, Hippolyte? What is it?’

‘Yes, what is it?’ asked others. The packet sealed with

red wax seemed to attract everyone, as though it were a

magnet.

‘I wrote this yesterday, myself, just after I saw you,

prince, and told you I would come down here. I wrote all The Idiot

704 of 1149

day and all night, and finished it this morning early.

Afterwards I had a dream.’

‘Hadn’t we better hear it tomorrow?’ asked the prince

timidly.

‘Tomorrow ‘there will be no more time!’’ laughed

Hippolyte, hysterically. ‘You needn’t be afraid; I shall get

through the whole thing in forty minutes, at most an

hour! Look how interested everybody is! Everybody has

drawn near. Look! look at them all staring at my sealed

packet! If I hadn’t sealed it up it wouldn’t have been half

so effective! Ha, ha! that’s mystery, that is! Now then,

gentlemen, shall I break the seal or not? Say the word; it’s

a mystery, I tell you—a secret! Prince, you know who said

there would be ‘no more time’? It was the great and

powerful angel in the Apocalypse.’

‘Better not read it now,’ said the prince, putting his

hand on the packet.

‘No, don’t read it!’ cried Evgenie suddenly. He

appeared so strangely disturbed that many of those present

could not help wondering.

‘Reading? None of your reading now!’ said somebody;

‘it’s supper- time.’ ‘What sort of an article is it? For a

paper? Probably it’s very dull,’ said another. But the

prince’s timid gesture had impressed even Hippolyte. The Idiot

705 of 1149

‘Then I’m not to read it?’ he whispered, nervously.

‘Am I not to read it?’ he repeated, gazing around at each

face in turn. ‘What are you afraid of, prince?’ he turned

and asked the latter suddenly.

‘What should I be afraid of?’

‘Has anyone a coin about them? Give me a twenty-

copeck piece, somebody!’ And Hippolyte leapt from his

chair.

‘Here you are,’ said Lebedeff, handing him one; he

thought the boy had gone mad.

‘Vera Lukianovna,’ said Hippolyte, ‘toss it, will you?

Heads, I read, tails, I don’t.’

Vera Lebedeff tossed the coin into the air and let it fall

on the table.

It was ‘heads.’

‘Then I read it,’ said Hippolyte, in the tone of one

bowing to the fiat of destiny. He could not have grown

paler if a verdict of death had suddenly been presented to

him.

‘But after all, what is it? Is it possible that I should have

just risked my fate by tossing up?’ he went on, shuddering;

and looked round him again. His eyes had a curious

expression of sincerity. ‘That is an astonishing

psychological fact,’ he cried, suddenly addressing the The Idiot

706 of 1149

prince, in a tone of the most intense surprise. ‘It is ... it is

something quite inconceivable, prince,’ he repeated with

growing animation, like a man regaining consciousness.

‘Take note of it, prince, remember it; you collect, I am

told, facts concerning capital punishment... They told me

so. Ha, ha! My God, how absurd!’ He sat down on the

sofa, put his elbows on the table, and laid his head on his

hands. ‘It is shameful—though what does it matter to me

if it is shameful?

‘Gentlemen, gentlemen! I am about to break the seal,’

he continued, with determination. ‘I-I—of course I don’t

insist upon anyone listening if they do not wish to.’

With trembling fingers he broke the seal and drew out

several sheets of paper, smoothed them out before him,

and began sorting them.

‘What on earth does all this mean? What’s he going to

read?’ muttered several voices. Others said nothing; but

one and all sat down and watched with curiosity. They

began to think something strange might really be about to

happen. Vera stood and trembled behind her father’s chair,

almost in tears with fright; Colia was nearly as much

alarmed as she was. Lebedeff jumped up and put a couple

of candles nearer to Hippolyte, so that he might see better. The Idiot

707 of 1149

‘Gentlemen, this—you’ll soon see what this is,’ began

Hippolyte, and suddenly commenced his reading.

‘It’s headed, ‘A Necessary Explanation,’ with the

motto, ‘Apres moi le deluge!’ Oh, deuce take it all! Surely

I can never have seriously written such a silly motto as

that? Look here, gentlemen, I beg to give notice that all

this is very likely terrible nonsense. It is only a few ideas of

mine. If you think that there is anything mysterious

coming—or in a word—‘

‘Better read on without any more beating about the

bush,’ said Gania.

‘Affectation!’ remarked someone else.

‘Too much talk,’ said Rogojin, breaking the silence for

the first time.

Hippolyte glanced at him suddenly, and when their

eye, met Rogojin showed his teeth in a disagreeable smile,

and said the following strange words: ‘That’s not the way

to settle this business, my friend; that’s not the way at all.’

Of course nobody knew what Rogojin meant by this;

but his words made a deep impression upon all. Everyone

seemed to see in a flash the same idea.

As for Hippolyte, their effect upon him was

astounding. He trembled so that the prince was obliged to

support him, and would certainly have cried out, but that The Idiot

708 of 1149

his voice seemed to have entirely left him for the moment.

For a minute or two he could not speak at all, but panted

and stared at Rogojin. At last he managed to ejaculate:

‘Then it was YOU who came—YOU—YOU?’

‘Came where? What do you mean?’ asked Rogojin,

amazed. But Hippolyte, panting and choking with

excitement, interrupted him violently.

‘YOU came to me last week, in the night, at two

o’clock, the day I was with you in the morning! Confess it

was you!’

‘Last week? In the night? Have you gone cracked, my

good friend?’

Hippolyte paused and considered a moment. Then a

smile of cunning—almost triumph—crossed his lips.

‘It was you,’ he murmured, almost in a whisper, but

with absolute conviction. ‘Yes, it was you who came to

my room and sat silently on a chair at my window for a

whole hour—more! It was between one and two at night;

you rose and went out at about three. It was you, you!

Why you should have frightened me so, why you should

have wished to torment me like that, I cannot tell—but

you it was.’

There was absolute hatred in his eyes as he said this, but

his look of fear and his trembling had not left him. The Idiot

709 of 1149

‘You shall hear all this directly, gentlemen. I-I—listen!’

He seized his paper in a desperate hurry; he fidgeted

with it, and tried to sort it, but for a long while his

trembling hands could not collect the sheets together.

‘He’s either mad or delirious,’ murmured Rogojin. At last

he began.

For the first five minutes the reader’s voice continued

to tremble, and he read disconnectedly and unevenly; but

gradually his voice strengthened. Occasionally a violent fit

of coughing stopped him, but his animation grew with the

progress of the reading—as did also the disagreeable

impression which it made upon his audience,—until it

reached the highest pitch of excitement.

Here is the article.

MY NECESSARY EXPLANATION.

‘Apres moi le deluge.

‘Yesterday morning the prince came to see me. Among

other things he asked me to come down to his villa. I

knew he would come and persuade me to this step, and

that he would adduce the argument that it would be easier

for me to die’ among people and green trees,’—as he

expressed it. But today he did not say ‘die,’ he said ‘live.’

It is pretty much the same to me, in my position, which

he says. When I asked him why he made such a point of The Idiot

710 of 1149

his ‘green trees,’ he told me, to my astonishment, that he

had heard that last time I was in Pavlofsk I had said that I

had come ‘to have a last look at the trees.’

‘When I observed that it was all the same whether one

died among trees or in front of a blank brick wall, as here,

and that it was not worth making any fuss over a fortnight,

he agreed at once. But he insisted that the good air at

Pavlofsk and the greenness would certainly cause a

physical change for the better, and that my excitement,

and my DREAMS, would be perhaps relieved. I remarked

to him, with a smile, that he spoke like a materialist, and

he answered that he had always been one. As he never

tells a lie, there must be something in his words. His smile

is a pleasant one. I have had a good look at him. I don’t

know whether I like him or not; and I have no time to

waste over the question. The hatred which I felt for him

for five months has become considerably modified, I may

say, during the last month. Who knows, perhaps I am

going to Pavlofsk on purpose to see him! But why do I

leave my chamber? Those who are sentenced to death

should not leave their cells. If I had not formed a final

resolve, but had decided to wait until the last minute, I

should not leave my room, or accept his invitation to

come and die at Pavlofsk. I must be quick and finish this The Idiot

711 of 1149

explanation before tomorrow. I shall have no time to read

it over and correct it, for I must read it tomorrow to the

prince and two or three witnesses whom I shall probably

find there.

‘As it will be absolutely true, without a touch of

falsehood, I am curious to see what impression it will

make upon me myself at the moment when I read it out.

This is my ‘last and solemn’—but why need I call it that?

There is no question about the truth of it, for it is not

worthwhile lying for a fortnight; a fortnight of life is not

itself worth having, which is a proof that I write nothing

here but pure truth.

("N.B.—Let me remember to consider; am I mad at

this moment, or not? or rather at these moments? I have

been told that consumptives sometimes do go out of their

minds for a while in the last stages of the malady. I can

prove this tomorrow when I read it out, by the impression

it makes upon the audience. I must settle this question

once and for all, otherwise I can’t go on with anything.)

‘I believe I have just written dreadful nonsense; but

there’s no time for correcting, as I said before. Besides

that, I have made myself a promise not to alter a single

word of what I write in this paper, even though I find that

I am contradicting myself every five lines. I wish to verify The Idiot

712 of 1149

the working of the natural logic of my ideas tomorrow

during the reading—whether I am capable of detecting

logical errors, and whether all that I have meditated over

during the last six months be true, or nothing but

delirium.

‘If two months since I had been called upon to leave

my room and the view of Meyer’s wall opposite, I verily

believe I should have been sorry. But now I have no such

feeling, and yet I am leaving this room and Meyer’s brick

wall FOR EVER. So that my conclusion, that it is not

worth while indulging in grief, or any other emotion, for

a fortnight, has proved stronger than my very nature, and

has taken over the direction of my feelings. But is it so? Is

it the case that my nature is conquered entirely? If I were

to be put on the rack now, I should certainly cry out. I

should not say that it is not worth while to yell and feel

pain because I have but a fortnight to live.

‘But is it true that I have but a fortnight of life left to

me? I know I told some of my friends that Doctor B. had

informed me that this was the case; but I now confess that

I lied; B. has not even seen me. However, a week ago, I

目录
设置
设置
阅读主题
字体风格
雅黑 宋体 楷书 卡通
字体大小
适中 偏大 超大
保存设置
恢复默认
手机
手机阅读
扫码获取链接,使用浏览器打开
书架同步,随时随地,手机阅读
首 页 < 上一章 章节列表 下一章 > 尾 页