might be better for him to move away from his (the
prince’s) house. Hippolyte informed him, as he took his
leave, that Ptitsin ‘had been kind enough to offer him a
corner,’ and did not say a word about Gania, though
Gania had procured his invitation, and himself came to
fetch him away. Gania noticed this at the time, and put it
to Hippolyte’s debit on account.
Gania was right when he told his sister that Hippolyte
was getting better; that he was better was clear at the first
glance. He entered the room now last of all, deliberately,
and with a disagreeable smile on his lips. The Idiot
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Nina Alexandrovna came in, looking frightened. She
had changed much since we last saw her, half a year ago,
and had grown thin and pale. Colia looked worried and
perplexed. He could not understand the vagaries of the
general, and knew nothing of the last achievement of that
worthy, which had caused so much commotion in the
house. But he could see that his father had of late changed
very much, and that he had begun to behave in so
extraordinary a fashion both at home and abroad that he
was not like the same man. What perplexed and disturbed
him as much as anything was that his father had entirely
given up drinking during the last few days. Colia knew
that he had quarrelled with both Lebedeff and the prince,
and had just bought a small bottle of vodka and brought it
home for his father.
‘Really, mother,’ he had assured Nina Alexandrovna
upstairs, ‘really you had better let him drink. He has not
had a drop for three days; he must be suffering agonies—
The general now entered the room, threw the door wide
open, and stood on the threshold trembling with
indignation.
‘Look here, my dear sir,’ he began, addressing Ptitsin in
a very loud tone of voice; ‘if you have really made up
your mind to sacrifice an old man—your father too or at The Idiot
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all events father of your wife—an old man who has served
his emperor—to a wretched little atheist like this, all I can
say is, sir, my foot shall cease to tread your floors. Make
your choice, sir; make your choice quickly, if you please!
Me or this—screw! Yes, screw, sir; I said it accidentally,
but let the word stand—this screw, for he screws and drills
himself into my soul—‘
‘Hadn’t you better say corkscrew?’ said Hippolyte.
‘No, sir, NOT corkscrew. I am a general, not a bottle,
sir. Make your choice, sir—me or him.’
Here Colia handed him a chair, and he subsided into it,
breathless with rage.
‘Hadn’t you better—better—take a nap?’ murmured
the stupefied Ptitsin.
‘A nap?’ shrieked the general. ‘I am not drunk, sir; you
insult me! I see,’ he continued, rising, ‘I see that all are
against me here. Enough—I go; but know, sirs—know
that—‘
He was not allowed to finish his sentence. Somebody
pushed him back into his chair, and begged him to be
calm. Nina Alexandrovna trembled, and cried quietly.
Gania retired to the window in disgust.
‘But what have I done? What is his grievance?’ asked
Hippolyte, grinning. The Idiot
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‘What have you done, indeed?’ put in Nina
Alexandrovna. ‘You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
teasing an old man like that— and in your position, too.’
‘And pray what IS my position, madame? I have the
greatest respect for you, personally; but—‘
‘He’s a little screw,’ cried the general; ‘he drills holes
my heart and soul. He wishes me to be a pervert to
atheism. Know, you young greenhorn, that I was covered
with honours before ever you were born; and you are
nothing better than a wretched little worm, torn in two
with coughing, and dying slowly of your own malice and
unbelief. What did Gavrila bring you over here for?
They’re all against me, even to my own son—all against
me.’
‘Oh, come—nonsense!’ cried Gania; ‘if you did not go
shaming us all over the town, things might be better for all
parties.’
‘What—shame you? I?—what do you mean, you
young calf? I shame you? I can only do you honour, sir; I
cannot shame you.’
He jumped up from his chair in a fit of uncontrollable
rage. Gania was very angry too.
‘Honour, indeed!’ said the latter, with contempt. The Idiot
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‘What do you say, sir?’ growled the general, taking a
step towards him.
‘I say that I have but to open my mouth, and you—‘
Gania began, but did not finish. The two—father and
son—stood before one another, both unspeakably agitated,
especially Gania.
‘Gania, Gania, reflect!’ cried his mother, hurriedly.
‘It’s all nonsense on both sides,’ snapped out Varia. ‘Let
them alone, mother.’
‘It’s only for mother’s sake that I spare him,’ said Gania,
tragically.
‘Speak!’ said the general, beside himself with rage and
excitement; ‘speak—under the penalty of a father’s curse
‘Oh, father’s curse be hanged—you don’t frighten me
that way!’ said Gania. ‘Whose fault is it that you have been
as mad as a March hare all this week? It is just a week—
you see, I count the days. Take care now; don’t provoke
me too much, or I’ll tell all. Why did you go to the
Epanchins’ yesterday—tell me that? And you call yourself
an old man, too, with grey hair, and father of a family!
H’m—nice sort of a father.’
‘Be quiet, Gania,’ cried Colia. ‘Shut up, you fool!’
‘Yes, but how have I offended him?’ repeated
Hippolyte, still in the same jeering voice. ‘ Why does he The Idiot
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call me a screw? You all heard it. He came to me himself
and began telling me about some Captain Eropegoff. I
don’t wish for your company, general. I always avoided
you—you know that. What have I to do with Captain
Eropegoff? All I did was to express my opinion that
probably Captain Eropegoff never existed at all!’
‘Of course he never existed!’ Gania interrupted.
But the general only stood stupefied and gazed around
in a dazed way. Gania’s speech had impressed him, with its
terrible candour. For the first moment or two he could
find no words to answer him, and it was only when
Hippolyte burst out laughing, and said:
‘There, you see! Even your own son supports my
statement that there never was such a person as Captain
Eropegoff!’ that the old fellow muttered confusedly:
‘Kapiton Eropegoff—not Captain Eropegoff!—
Kapiton—major retired—Eropegoff—Kapiton.’
‘Kapiton didn’t exist either!’ persisted Gania,
maliciously.
‘What? Didn’t exist?’ cried the poor general, and a deep
blush suffused his face.
‘That’ll do, Gania!’ cried Varia and Ptitsin.
‘Shut up, Gania!’ said Colia.
But this intercession seemed to rekindle the general. The Idiot
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‘What did you mean, sir, that he didn’t exist? Explain
yourself,’ he repeated, angrily.
‘Because he DIDN’T exist—never could and never
did—there! You’d better drop the subject, I warn you!’
‘And this is my son—my own son—whom I—oh,
gracious Heaven! Eropegoff—Eroshka Eropegoff didn’t
exist!’
‘Ha, ha! it’s Eroshka now,’ laughed Hippolyte.
‘No, sir, Kapitoshka—not Eroshka. I mean, Kapiton
Alexeyevitch— retired major—married Maria Petrovna
Lu—Lu—he was my friend and companion—Lutugoff—
from our earliest beginnings. I closed his eyes for him—he
was killed. Kapiton Eropegoff never existed! tfu!’
The general shouted in his fury; but it was to be
concluded that his wrath was not kindled by the expressed
doubt as to Kapiton’s existence. This was his scapegoat;
but his excitement was caused by something quite
different. As a rule he would have merely shouted down
the doubt as to Kapiton, told a long yarn about his friend,
and eventually retired upstairs to his room. But today, in
the strange uncertainty of human nature, it seemed to
require but so small an offence as this to make his cup to
overflow. The old man grew purple in the face, he raised
his hands. ‘Enough of this!’ he yelled. ‘My curse—away, The Idiot
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out of the house I go! Colia, bring my bag away!’ He left
the room hastily and in a paroxysm of rage.
His wife, Colia, and Ptitsin ran out after him.
‘What have you done now?’ said Varia to Gania. ‘He’ll
probably be making off THERE again! What a disgrace it
all is!’
‘Well, he shouldn’t steal,’ cried Gania, panting with
fury. And just at this moment his eye met Hippolyte’s.
‘As for you, sir,’ he cried, ‘you should at least
remember that you are in a strange house and—receiving
hospitality; you should not take the opportunity of
tormenting an old man, sir, who is too evidently out of his
mind.’
Hippolyte looked furious, but he restrained himself.
‘I don’t quite agree with you that your father is out of
his mind,’ he observed, quietly. ‘On the contrary, I cannot
help thinking he has been less demented of late. Don’t you
think so? He has grown so cunning and careful, and
weighs his words so deliberately; he spoke to me about
that Kapiton fellow with an object, you know! Just
fancy—he wanted me to—‘
‘Oh, devil take what he wanted you to do! Don’t try to
be too cunning with me, young man!’ shouted Gania. ‘If
you are aware of the real reason for my father’s present The Idiot
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condition (and you have kept such an excellent spying
watch during these last few days that you are sure to be
aware of it)—you had no right whatever to torment the—
unfortunate man, and to worry my mother by your
exaggerations of the affair; because the whole business is
nonsense—simply a drunken freak, and nothing more,
quite unproved by any evidence, and I don’t believe that
much of it!’ (he snapped his fingers). ‘But you must needs
spy and watch over us all, because you are a-a—‘
‘Screw!’ laughed Hippolyte.
‘Because you are a humbug, sir; and thought fit to
worry people for half an hour, and tried to frighten them
into believing that you would shoot yourself with your
little empty pistol, pirouetting about and playing at
suicide! I gave you hospitality, you have fattened on it,
your cough has left you, and you repay all this—‘
‘Excuse me—two words! I am Varvara Ardalionovna’s
guest, not yours; YOU have extended no hospitality to
me. On the contrary, if I am not mistaken, I believe you
are yourself indebted to Mr. Ptitsin’s hospitality. Four days
ago I begged my mother to come down here and find
lodgings, because I certainly do feel better here, though I
am not fat, nor have I ceased to cough. I am today
informed that my room is ready for me; therefore, having The Idiot
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thanked your sister and mother for their kindness to me, I
intend to leave the house this evening. I beg your
pardon—I interrupted you—I think you were about to
add something?’
‘Oh—if that is the state of affairs—’ began Gania.
‘Excuse me—I will take a seat,’ interrupted Hippolyte
once more, sitting down deliberately; ‘for I am not strong
yet. Now then, I am ready to hear you. Especially as this is
the last chance we shall have of a talk, and very likely the
last meeting we shall ever have at all.’
Gania felt a little guilty.
‘I assure you I did not mean to reckon up debits and
credits,’ he began, ‘and if you—‘
‘I don’t understand your condescension,’ said
Hippolyte. ‘As for me, I promised myself, on the first day
of my arrival in this house, that I would have the
satisfaction of settling accounts with you in a very
thorough manner before I said good-bye to you. I intend
to perform this operation now, if you like; after you,
though, of course.’
‘May I ask you to be so good as to leave this room?’
‘You’d better speak out. You’ll be sorry afterwards if
you don’t.’ The Idiot
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‘Hippolyte, stop, please! It’s so dreadfully undignified,’
said Varia.
‘Well, only for the sake of a lady,’ said Hippolyte,
laughing. ‘I am ready to put off the reckoning, but only
put it off, Varvara Ardalionovna, because an explanation
between your brother and myself has become an absolute
necessity, and I could not think of leaving the house
without clearing up all misunderstandings first.’
‘In a word, you are a wretched little scandal-monger,’
cried Gania, ‘and you cannot go away without a scandal!’
‘You see,’ said Hippolyte, coolly, ‘ you can’t restrain
yourself. You’ll be dreadfully sorry afterwards if you don’t
speak out now. Come, you shall have the first say. I’ll
wait.’
Gania was silent and merely looked contemptuously at
him.
‘You won’t? Very well. I shall be as short as possible,
for my part. Two or three times to-day I have had the
word ‘hospitality’ pushed down my throat; this is not fair.
In inviting me here you yourself entrapped me for your
own use; you thought I wished to revenge myself upon
the prince. You heard that Aglaya Ivanovna had been kind
to me and read my confession. Making sure that I should
give myself up to your interests, you hoped that you might The Idiot
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get some assistance out of me. I will not go into details. I
don’t ask either admission or confirmation of this from
yourself; I am quite content to leave you to your
conscience, and to feel that we understand one another
capitally.’
‘What a history you are weaving out of the most
ordinary circumstances!’ cried Varia.
‘I told you the fellow was nothing but a
scandalmonger,’ said Gania.
‘Excuse me, Varia Ardalionovna, I will proceed. I can,
of course, neither love nor respect the prince, though he is
a good-hearted fellow, if a little queer. But there is no
need whatever for me to hate him. I quite understood
your brother when he first offered me aid against the
prince, though I did not show it; I knew well that your
brother was making a ridiculous mistake in me. I am ready
to spare him, however, even now; but solely out of
respect for yourself, Varvara Ardalionovna.
‘Having now shown you that I am not quite such a
