slightly.
‘You want to take advantage of my position, now that I
am in your house,’ continued Aglaya, awkwardly.
‘For that position YOU are to blame and not I,’ said
Nastasia, flaring up suddenly. ‘I did not invite YOU, but
you me; and to this moment I am quite ignorant as to why
I am thus honoured.’
Aglaya raised her head haughtily.
‘Restrain your tongue!’ she said. ‘I did not come here
to fight you with your own weapons.
‘Oh! then you did come ‘to fight,’ I may conclude?
Dear me!—and I thought you were cleverer—‘
They looked at one another with undisguised malice.
One of these women had written to the other, so lately,
such letters as we have seen; and it all was dispersed at
their first meeting. Yet it appeared that not one of the four
persons in the room considered this in any degree strange.
The prince who, up to yesterday, would not have
believed that he could even dream of such an impossible
scene as this, stood and listened and looked on, and felt as The Idiot
1054 of 1149
though he had long foreseen it all. The most fantastic
dream seemed suddenly to have been metamorphosed into
the most vivid reality.
One of these women so despised the other, and so
longed to express her contempt for her (perhaps she had
only come for that very purpose, as Rogojin said next
day), that howsoever fantastical was the other woman,
howsoever afflicted her spirit and disturbed her
understanding, no preconceived idea of hers could possibly
stand up against that deadly feminine contempt of her
rival. The prince felt sure that Nastasia would say nothing
about the letters herself; but he could judge by her flashing
eyes and the expression of her face what the thought of
those letters must be costing her at this moment. He
would have given half his life to prevent Aglaya from
speaking of them. But Aglaya suddenly braced herself up,
and seemed to master herself fully, all in an instant.
‘You have not quite understood,’ she said. ‘I did not
come to quarrel with you, though I do not like you. I
came to speak to you as... as one human being to another.
I came with my mind made up as to what I had to say to
you, and I shall not change my intention, although you
may misunderstand me. So much the worse for you, not
for myself! I wished to reply to all you have written to me The Idiot
1055 of 1149
and to reply personally, because I think that is the more
convenient way. Listen to my reply to all your letters. I
began to be sorry for Prince Lef Nicolaievitch on the very
day I made his acquaintance, and when I heard—
afterwards—of all that took place at your house in the
evening, I was sorry for him because he was such a simple-
minded man, and because he, in the simplicity of his soul,
believed that he could be happy with a woman of your
character. What I feared actually took place; you could not
love him, you tortured him, and threw him over. You
could not love him because you are too proud—no, not
proud, that is an error; because you are too vain—no, not
quite that either; too self-loving; you are self-loving to
madness. Your letters to me are a proof of it. You could
not love so simple a soul as his, and perhaps in your heart
you despised him and laughed at him. All you could love
was your shame and the perpetual thought that you were
disgraced and insulted. If you were less shameful, or had
no cause at all for shame, you would be still more unhappy
than you are now.
Aglaya brought out these thronging words with great
satisfaction. They came from her lips hurriedly and
impetuously, and had been prepared and thought out long
ago, even before she had ever dreamed of the present The Idiot
1056 of 1149
meeting. She watched with eagerness the effect of her
speech as shown in Nastasia’s face, which was distorted
with agitation.
‘You remember,’ she continued, ‘he wrote me a letter
at that time; he says you know all about that letter and that
you even read it. I understand all by means of this letter,
and understand it correctly. He has since confirmed it all
to me—what I now say to you, word for word. After
receiving his letter I waited; I guessed that you would
soon come back here, because you could never do
without Petersburg; you are still too young and lovely for
the provinces. However, this is not my own idea,’ she
added, blushing dreadfully; and from this moment the
colour never left her cheeks to the end of her speech.
When I next saw the prince I began to feel terribly pained
and hurt on his account. Do not laugh; if you laugh you
are unworthy of understanding what I say.’
‘Surely you see that I am not laughing,’ said Nastasia,
sadly and sternly.
‘However, it’s all the same to me; laugh or not, just as
you please. When I asked him about you, he told me that
he had long since ceased to love you, that the very
recollection of you was a torture to him, but that he was
sorry for you; and that when he thought of you his heart The Idiot
1057 of 1149
was pierced. I ought to tell you that I never in my life met
a man anything like him for noble simplicity of mind and
for boundless trustfulness. I guessed that anyone who liked
could deceive him, and that he would immediately forgive
anyone who did deceive him; and it was for this that I
grew to love him—‘
Aglaya paused for a moment, as though suddenly
brought up in astonishment that she could have said these
words, but at the same time a great pride shone in her
eyes, like a defiant assertion that it would not matter to her
if ‘this woman’ laughed in her face for the admission just
made.
‘I have told you all now, and of course you understand
what I wish of you.’
‘Perhaps I do; but tell me yourself,’ said Nastasia
Philipovna, quietly.
Aglaya flushed up angrily.
‘I wished to find out from you,’ she said, firmly, ‘by
what right you dare to meddle with his feelings for me?
By what right you dared send me those letters? By what
right do you continually remind both me and him that
you love him, after you yourself threw him over and ran
away from him in so insulting and shameful a way?’ The Idiot
1058 of 1149
‘I never told either him or you that I loved him!’
replied Nastasia Philipovna, with an effort. ‘And—and I
did run away from him—you are right there,’ she added,
scarcely audibly.
‘Never told either him or me?’ cried Aglaya. ‘How
about your letters? Who asked you to try to persuade me
to marry him? Was not that a declaration from you? Why
do you force yourself upon us in this way? I confess I
thought at first that you were anxious to arouse an
aversion for him in my heart by your meddling, in order
that I might give him up; and it was only afterwards that I
guessed the truth. You imagined that you were doing an
heroic action! How could you spare any love for him,
when you love your own vanity to such an extent? Why
could you not simply go away from here, instead of
writing me those absurd letters? Why do you not NOW
marry that generous man who loves you, and has done
you the honour of offering you his hand? It is plain
enough why; if you marry Rogojin you lose your
grievance; you will have nothing more to complain of.
You will be receiving too much honour. Evgenie
Pavlovitch was saying the other day that you had read too
many poems and are too well educated for—your The Idiot
1059 of 1149
position; and that you live in idleness. Add to this your
vanity, and, there you have reason enough—‘
‘And do you not live in idleness?’
Things had come to this unexpected point too quickly.
Unexpected because Nastasia Philipovna, on her way to
Pavlofsk, had thought and considered a good deal, and had
expected something different, though perhaps not
altogether good, from this interview; but Aglaya had been
carried away by her own outburst, just as a rolling stone
gathers impetus as it careers downhill, and could not
restrain herself in the satisfaction of revenge.
It was strange, Nastasia Philipovna felt, to see Aglaya
like this. She gazed at her, and could hardly believe her
eyes and ears for a moment or two.
Whether she were a woman who had read too many
poems, as Evgenie Pavlovitch supposed, or whether she
were mad, as the prince had assured Aglaya, at all events,
this was a woman who, in spite of her occasionally cynical
and audacious manner, was far more refined and trustful
and sensitive than appeared. There was a certain amount
of romantic dreaminess and caprice in her, but with the
fantastic was mingled much that was strong and deep.
The prince realized this, and great suffering expressed
itself in his face. The Idiot
1060 of 1149
Aglaya observed it, and trembled with anger.
‘How dare you speak so to me?’ she said, with a
haughtiness which was quite indescribable, replying to
Nastasia’s last remark.
‘You must have misunderstood what I said,’ said
Nastasia, in some surprise.
‘If you wished to preserve your good name, why did
you not give up your—your ‘guardian,’ Totski, without
all that theatrical posturing?’ said Aglaya, suddenly a
propos of nothing.
‘What do you know of my position, that you dare to
judge me?’ cried Nastasia, quivering with rage, and
growing terribly white.
‘I know this much, that you did not go out to honest
work, but went away with a rich man, Rogojin, in order
to pose as a fallen angel. I don’t wonder that Totski was
nearly driven to suicide by such a fallen angel.’
‘Silence!’ cried Nastasia Philipovna. ‘You are about as
fit to understand me as the housemaid here, who bore
witness against her lover in court the other day. She
would understand me better than you do.’
‘Probably an honest girl living by her own toil. Why
do you speak of a housemaid so contemptuously?’ The Idiot
1061 of 1149
‘I do not despise toil; I despise you when you speak of
toil.’
‘If you had cared to be an honest woman, you would
have gone out as a laundress.’
Both had risen, and were gazing at one another with
pallid faces.
‘Aglaya, don’t! This is unfair,’ cried the prince, deeply
distressed.
Rogojin was not smiling now; he sat and listened with
folded arms, and lips tight compressed.
‘There, look at her,’ cried Nastasia, trembling with
passion. ‘Look at this young lady! And I imagined her an
angel! Did you come to me without your governess,
Aglaya Ivanovna? Oh, fie, now shall I just tell you why
you came here today? Shall I tell you without any
embellishments? You came because you were afraid of
me!’
‘Afraid of YOU?’ asked Aglaya, beside herself with
naive amazement that the other should dare talk to her
like this.
‘Yes, me, of course! Of course you were afraid of me,
or you would not have decided to come. You cannot
despise one you fear. And to think that I have actually
esteemed you up to this very moment! Do you know why The Idiot
1062 of 1149
you are afraid of me, and what is your object now? You
wished to satisfy yourself with your own eyes as to which
he loves best, myself or you, because you are fearfully
jealous.’
‘He has told me already that he hates you,’ murmured
Aglaya, scarcely audibly.
‘Perhaps, perhaps! I am not worthy of him, I know.
But I think you are lying, all the same. He cannot hate
me, and he cannot have said so. I am ready to forgive you,
in consideration of your position; but I confess I thought
better of you. I thought you were wiser, and more
beautiful, too; I did, indeed! Well, take your treasure! See,
he is gazing at you, he can’t recollect himself. Take him,
but on one condition; go away at once, this instant!’
She fell back into a chair, and burst into tears. But
suddenly some new expression blazed in her eyes. She
stared fixedly at Aglaya, and rose from her seat.
‘Or would you like me to bid him, BID HIM, do you
hear, COMMAND HIM, now, at once, to throw you up,
and remain mine for ever? Shall I? He will stay, and he
will marry me too, and you shall trot home all alone. Shall
I?—shall I say the word?’ she screamed like a madwoman,
scarcely believing herself that she could really pronounce
such wild words. The Idiot
1063 of 1149
Aglaya had made for the door in terror, but she stopped
at the threshold, and listened. ‘Shall I turn Rogojin off?
Ha! ha! you thought I would marry him for your benefit,
did you? Why, I’ll call out NOW, if you like, in your
presence, ‘Rogojin, get out!’ and say to the prince, ‘Do
you remember what you promised me?’ Heavens! what a
fool I have been to humiliate myself before them! Why,
prince, you yourself gave me your word that you would
marry me whatever happened, and would never abandon
me. You said you loved me and would forgive me all,
and—and resp—yes, you even said that! I only ran away
from you in order to set you free, and now I don’t care to
let you go again. Why does she treat me so— so
shamefully? I am not a loose woman—ask Rogojin there!
He’ll tell you. Will you go again now that she has insulted
me, before your eyes, too; turn away from me and lead
her away, arm-in-arm? May you be accursed too, for you
were the only one I trusted among them all! Go away,
Rogojin, I don’t want you,’ she continued, blind with
fury, and forcing the words out with dry lips and distorted
features, evidently not believing a single word of her own
tirade, but, at the same time, doing her utmost to prolong
the moment of self-deception. The Idiot
1064 of 1149
The outburst was so terribly violent that the prince
thought it would have killed her.
‘There he is!’ she shrieked again, pointing to the prince
and addressing Aglaya. ‘There he is! and if he does not
approach me at once and take ME and throw you over,
then have him for your own—I give him up to you! I
