certain assurance of a most favourable reception from all the elders
of the family, and from the father himself when he should be sober,
and should be made acquainted with the nature of the offer made to his
daughter. The only danger, she said, lay in the fellow she had
formerly mentioned, who, though a beggar and a vagabond, had, by
some means or other, she knew not what, procured himself tolerable
cloaths, and past for a gentleman. "Now," says she, "as I have, for
the sake of my cousin, made it my business to inquire after this
fellow, I have luckily found out his lodgings;" with which she then
acquainted his lordship. "I am thinking, my lord," added she "(for
this fellow is too mean for your personal resentment), whether it
would not be possible for your lordship to contrive some method of
having him pressed and sent on board a ship. Neither law nor
conscience forbid this project: for the fellow, I promise you, however
well drest, is but a vagabond, and as proper as any fellow in the
streets to be pressed into the service; and as for the conscientious
part, surely the preservation of a young lady from such ruin is a most
meritorious act; nay, with regard to the fellow himself, unless he
could succeed (which Heaven forbid) with my cousin, it may probably be
the means of preserving him from the gallows, and perhaps may make his
fortune in an honest way."
Lord Fellamar very heartily thanked her ladyship for the part
which she was pleased to take in the affair, upon the success of which
his whole future happiness entirely depended. He said, he saw at
present no objection to the pressing scheme, and would consider of
putting it in execution. He then most earnestly recommended to her
ladyship to do him the honour of immediately mentioning his
proposals to the family; to whom he said he offered a carte blanche,
and would settle his fortune in almost any manner they should require.
And after uttering many ecstasies and raptures concerning Sophia, he
took his leave and departed, but not before he had received the
strongest charge to beware of Jones, and to lose no time in securing
his person, where he should no longer be in a capacity of making any
attempts to the ruin of the young lady.
The moment Mrs. Western was arrived at her lodgings, a card was
despatched with her compliments to Lady Bellaston; who no sooner
received it than, with the impatience of a lover, she flew to her
cousin, rejoiced at this fair opportunity, which beyond her hopes
offered itself, for she was much better pleased with the prospect of
making the proposals to a woman of sense, and who knew the world, than
to a gentleman whom she honoured with the appellation of Hottentot;
though, indeed, from him she apprehended no danger of a refusal.
The two ladies being met, after very short previous ceremonials,
fell to business, which was indeed almost as soon concluded as
begun; for Mrs. Western no sooner heard the name of Lord Fellamar than
her cheeks glowed with pleasure; but when she was acquainted with
the eagerness of his passion, the earnestness of his proposals, and
the generosity of his offer, she declared her full satisfaction in the
most explicit terms.
In the progress of their conversation their discourse turned to
Jones, and both cousins very pathetically lamented the unfortunate
attachment which both agreed Sophia had to that young fellow; and Mrs.
Western entirely attributed it to the folly of her brother's
management. She concluded, however, at last, with declaring her
confidence in the good understanding of her niece, who, though she
would not give up her affection in favour of Blifil, will, I doubt
not, says she, soon be prevailed upon to sacrifice a simple
inclination to the addresses of a fine gentleman, who brings her
both a title and a large estate: "For, indeed," added she, "I must
do Sophy the justice to confess this Blifil is but a hideous kind of
fellow, as you know, Bellaston, all country gentlemen are, and hath
nothing but his fortune to recommend him."
"Nay," said Lady Bellaston, "I don't then so much wonder at my
cousin; for I promise you this Jones is a very agreeable fellow, and
hath one virtue, which the men say is a great recommendation to us.
What do you think, Mrs. Western- I shall certainly make you laugh;
nay, I can hardly tell you myself for laughing- will you believe that
the fellow hath had the assurance to make love to me? But if you
should be inclined to disbelieve it, here is evidence enough, his own
handwriting, I assure you." She then delivered her cousin the letter
with the proposals of marriage, which, if the reader hath a desire
to see, he will find already on record in the XVth book of this
history.
"Upon my word, I am astonished," said Mrs. Western; "this is,
indeed, a masterpiece of assurance. With your leave, I may possibly
make some use of this letter." "You have my full liberty," cries
Lady Bellaston, "to apply it to what purpose you please. However, I
would not have it shown to any but Miss Western, nor to her unless you
find occasion." "Well, and how did you use the fellow?" returned
Mrs. Western. "Not as a husband," said the lady; "I am not married,
I promise you, my dear. You know, Bell, I have tried the comforts once
already; and once, I think, is enough for any reasonable woman."
This letter Lady Bellaston thought would certainly turn the
balance against Jones in the mind of Sophia, and she was emboldened to
give it up, partly by her hopes of having him instantly dispatched out
of the way, and partly by having secured the evidence of Honour,
who, upon sounding her, she saw sufficient reason to imagine was
prepared to testify whatever she pleased.
But perhaps the reader may wonder why Lady Bellaston, who in her
heart hated Sophia, should be so desirous of promoting a match which
was so much to the interest of the young lady. Now, I would desire
such readers to look carefully into human nature, page almost the
last, and there he will find, in scarce legible characters, that
women, notwithstanding the preposterous behaviour of mothers, aunts,
&c., in matrimonial matters, do in reality think it so great a
misfortune to have their inclinations in love thwarted, that they
imagine they ought never to carry enmity higher than upon these
disappointments; again, he will find it written much about the same
place, that a woman who hath once been pleased with the possession
of a man, will go above halfway to the devil, to prevent any other
woman from enjoying the same.
If he will not be contented with these reasons, I freely confess I
see no other motive to the actions of that lady, unless we will
conceive she was bribed by Lord Fellamar, which for my own part I
see no cause to suspect.
Now this was the affair which Mrs. Western was preparing to
introduce to Sophia, by some prefatory discourse on the folly of love,
and on the wisdom of legal prostitution for hire, when her brother and
Blifil broke abruptly in upon her; and hence arose all that coldness
in her behaviour to Blifil, which, though the squire, as was usual
with him, imputed to a wrong cause, infused into Blifil himself (he
being a much more cunning man) a suspicion of the real truth.
Chapter 9
In which Jones pays a visit to Mrs. Fitzpatrick
The reader may now, perhaps, be pleased to return with us to Mr.
Jones, who, at the appointed hour, attended on Mrs. Fitzpatrick; but
before we relate the conversation which now past, it may be proper,
according to our method, to return a little back, and to account for
so great an alteration of behaviour in this lady, that from changing
her lodging principally to avoid Mr. Jones, she had now industriously,
as hath been seen, sought this interview.
And here we shall need only to resort to what happened the preceding
day, when, hearing from Lady Bellaston that Mr. Western was arrived in
town, she went to pay her duty to him, at his lodgings at
Piccadilly, where she was received with many scurvy compellations
too coarse to be repeated, and was even threatened to be kicked out of
doors. From hence, an old servant of her aunt Western, with whom she
was well acquainted, conducted her to the lodgings of that lady, who
treated her not more kindly, but more politely; or, to say the
truth, with rudeness in another way. In short, she returned from both,
plainly convinced, not only that her scheme of reconciliation had
proved abortive, but that she must for ever give over all thoughts
of bringing it about by any means whatever. From this moment desire of
revenge only filled her mind; and in this temper meeting Jones at
the play, an opportunity seemed to her to occur of effecting this
purpose.
The reader must remember that he was acquainted by Mrs. Fitzpatrick,
in the account she gave of her own story, with the fondness Mrs.
Western had formerly shewn for Mr. Fitzpatrick at Bath, from the
disappointment of which Mrs. Fitzpatrick derived the great
bitterness her aunt had expressed toward her. She had, therefore, no
doubt but that the good lady would as easily listen to the addresses
of Mr. Jones as she had before done to the other; for the
superiority of charms was clearly on the side of Mr. Jones; and the
advance which her aunt had since made in age, she concluded (how
justly I will not say), was an argument rather in favour of her
project than against it.
Therefore, when Jones attended, after a previous declaration of
her desire of serving him, arising, as she said, from a firm assurance
how much she should by so doing oblige Sophia; and after some
excuses for her former disappointment, and after acquainting Mr. Jones
in whose custody his mistress was, of which she thought him
ignorant; she very explicitly mentioned her scheme to him, and advised
him to make sham addresses to the older lady, in order to procure an
easy access to the younger, informing him at the same time of the
success which Mr. Fitzpatrick had formerly owed to the very same
stratagem.
Mr. Jones expressed great gratitude to the lady for the kind
intentions towards him which she had expressed, and indeed
testified, by this proposal; but, besides intimating some diffidence
of success from the lady's knowledge of his love to her niece, which
had not been her case in regard to Mr. Fitzpatrick, he said, he was
afraid Miss Western would never agree to an imposition of this kind,
as well from her utter detestation of all fallacy, as from her
avowed duty to her aunt.
Mrs. Fitzpatrick was a little nettled at this; and indeed, if it may
not be called a lapse of the tongue, it was a small deviation from
politeness in Jones, and into which he scarce would have fallen, had
not the delight he felt in praising Sophia hurried him out of all
reflection; for this commendation of one cousin was more than a
tacit rebuke on the other.
"Indeed, sir," answered the lady, with some warmth, "I cannot
think there is anything easier than to cheat an old woman with a
profession of love, when her complexion is amorous; and, though she is
my aunt, I must say there never was a more liquorish one than her
ladyship. Can't you pretend that the despair of possessing her
niece, from her being promised to Blifil, has made you turn your
thoughts towards her? As to my cousin Sophia, I can't imagine her to
be such a simpleton as to have the least scruple on such an account,
or to conceive any harm in punishing one of these haggs for the many
mischiefs they bring upon families by their tragi-comic passions;
for which I think it is a pity they are not punishable by law. I had
no such scruple myself; and yet I hope my cousin Sophia will not think
it an affront when I say she cannot detest every real species of
falsehood more than her cousin Fitzpatrick. To my aunt, indeed, I
pretend no duty, nor doth she deserve any. However, sir, I have
given you my advice; and if you decline pursuing it, I shall have
the less opinion of your understanding- that's all."
Jones now clearly saw the error he had committed, and exerted his
utmost power to rectify it; but he only faultered and stuttered into
nonsense and contradiction. To say the truth, it is often safer to
abide by the consequences of the first blunder than to endeavour to
rectify it; for by such endeavours we generally plunge deeper
instead of extricating ourselves; and few persons will on such
occasions have the good-nature which Mrs. Fitzpatrick displayed to
Jones, by saying, with a smile, "You need attempt no more excuses; for
I can easily forgive a real lover, whatever is the effect of
fondness for his mistress."
She then renewed her proposal, and very fervently recommended it,
omitting no argument which her invention could suggest on the subject;
for she was so violently incensed against her aunt, that scarce
anything was capable of affording her equal pleasure with exposing
her; and, like a true woman, she would see no difficulties in the
execution of a favourite scheme.
Jones, however, persisted in declining the undertaking, which had
not, indeed, the least probability of success. He easily perceived the
motives which induced Mrs. Fitzpatrick to be so eager in pressing
her advice. He said he would not deny the tender and passionate regard
he had for Sophia; but was so conscious of the inequality of their
situations, that he could never flatter himself so far as to hope that
so divine a young lady would condescend to think on so unworthy a man;
nay, he protested, he could scarce bring himself to wish she should.
He concluded with a profession of generous sentiments, which we have
not at present leisure to insert.
There are some fine women (for I dare not here speak in too
general terms) with whom self is so predominant, that they never
detach it from any subject; and, as vanity is with them a ruling
principle, they are apt to lay hold of whatever praise they meet with,
