Mr. Square had the same reason for his preference of the former lad;
for Tom Jones showed no more regard to the learned discourses which
this gentleman would sometimes throw away upon him, than to those of
Thwackum. He once ventured to make a jest of the rule of right; and at
another time said, he believed there was no rule in the world
capable of making such a man as his father (for so Mr. Allworthy
suffered himself to be called).
Master Blifil, on the contrary, had address enough at sixteen to
recommend himself at one and the same time to both these opposites.
With one he was all religion, with the other he was all virtue. And
when both were present, he was profoundly silent, which both
interpreted in his favour and in their own.
Nor was Blifil contented with flattering both these gentlemen to
their faces; he took frequent occasions of praising them behind
their backs to Allworthy; before whom, when they two were alone, and
his uncle commended any religious or virtuous sentiment (for many such
came constantly from him) he seldom failed to ascribe it to the good
instructions he had received from either Thwackum or Square; for he
knew his uncle repeated all such compliments to the persons for
whose use they were meant; and he found by experience the great
impressions which they made on the philosopher, as well as on the
divine: for, to say the truth, there is no kind of flattery so
irresistible as this, at second hand.
The young gentleman, moreover, soon perceived how extremely grateful
all those panegyrics on his instructors were to Mr. Allworthy himself,
as they so loudly resounded the praise of that singular plan of
education which he had laid down; for this worthy man having
observed the imperfect institution of our public schools, and the many
vices which boys were there liable to learn, had resolved to educate
his nephew, as well as the other lad, whom he had in a manner adopted,
in his own house; where he thought their morals would escape all
that danger of being corrupted to which they would be unavoidably
exposed in any public school or university.
Having, therefore, determined to commit these boys to the tuition of
a private tutor, Mr. Thwackum was recommended to him for that
office, by a very particular friend, of whose understanding Mr.
Allworthy had a great opinion, and in whose integrity he placed much
confidence. This Thwackum was fellow of a college, where he almost
entirely resided; and had a great reputation for learning, religion,
and sobriety of manners. And these were doubtless the qualifications
by which Mr. Allworthy's friend had been induced to recommend him;
though indeed this friend had some obligations to Thwackum's family,
who were the most considerable persons in a borough which that
gentleman represented in parliament.
Thwackum, at his first arrival, was extremely agreeable to
Allworthy; and indeed he perfectly answered the character which had
been given of him. Upon longer acquaintance, however, and more
intimate conversation, this worthy man saw infirmities in the tutor,
which he could have wished him to have been without; though as those
seemed greatly overbalanced by his good qualities, they did not
incline Mr. Allworthy to part with him: nor would they indeed have
justified such a proceeding; for the reader is greatly mistaken, if he
conceives that Thwackum appeared to Mr. Allworthy in the same light as
he doth to him in this history; and he is as much deceived, if he
imagines that the most intimate acquaintance which he himself could
have had with that divine, would have informed him of those things
which we, from our inspiration, are enabled to open and discover. Of
readers who, from such conceits as these, condemn the wisdom or
penetration of Mr. Allworthy, I shall not scruple to say, that they
make a very bad and ungrateful use of that knowledge which we have
communicated to them.
These apparent errors in the doctrine of Thwackum served greatly
to palliate the contrary errors in that of Square, which our good
man no less saw and condemned. He thought, indeed, that the
different exuberancies of these gentlemen would correct their
different imperfections; and that from both, especially with his
assistance, the two lads would derive sufficient precepts of true
religion and virtue. If the event happened contrary to his
expectations, this possibly proceeded from some fault in the plan
itself; which the reader hath my leave to discover, if he can: for
we do not pretend to introduce any infallible characters into this
history; where we hope nothing will be found which hath never yet been
seen in human nature.
To return therefore: the reader will not, I think, wonder that the
different behaviour of the two lads above commemorated, produced the
different effects of which he hath already seen some instance; and
besides this, there was another reason for the conduct of the
philosopher and the pedagogue; but this being matter of great
importance, we shall reveal it in the next chapter.
Chapter 6
Containing a better reason still for the before-mentioned opinions
It is to be known then, that those two learned personages, who
have lately made a considerable figure on the theatre of this history,
had, from their first arrival at Mr. Allworthy's house, taken so great
an affection, the one to his virtue, the other to his religion, that
they had meditated the closest alliance with him.
For this purpose they had cast their eyes on that fair widow,
whom, though we have not for some time made any mention of her, the
reader, we trust, hath not forgot. Mrs. Blifil was indeed the object
to which they both aspired.
It may seem remarkable, that, of four persons whom we have
commemorated at Mr. Allworthy's house, three of them should fix
their inclinations on a lady who was never greatly celebrated for
her beauty, and who was, moreover, now a little descended into the
vale of years; but in reality bosom friends, and intimate
acquaintance, have a kind of natural propensity to particular
females at the house of a friend- viz., to his grandmother, mother,
sister, daughter, aunt, niece, or cousin, when they are rich; and to
his wife, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, mistress, or
servant-maid, if they should be handsome.
We would not, however, have our reader imagine, that persons of such
characters as were supported by Thwackum and Square, would undertake a
matter of this kind, which hath been a little censured by some rigid
moralists, before they had thoroughly examined it, and considered
whether it was (as Shakespear phrases it) "Stuff o' th' conscience,"
or no. Thwackum was encouraged to the undertaking by reflecting that
to covet your neighbour's sister is nowhere forbidden: and he knew
it was a rule in the construction of all laws, that "Expressum facit
cessare tacitum." The sense of which is, "When a lawgiver sets down
plainly his whole meaning, we are prevented from making him mean
what we please ourselves." As some instances of women, therefore,
are mentioned in the divine law, which forbids us to covet our
neighbour's goods, and that of a sister omitted, he concluded it to be
lawful. And as to Square, who was in his person what is called a jolly
fellow, or a widow's man, he easily reconciled his choice to the
eternal fitness of things.
Now, as both of these gentlemen were industrious in taking every
opportunity of recommending themselves to the widow, they
apprehended one certain method was, by giving her son the constant
preference to the other lad; and as they conceived the kindness and
affection which Mr. Allworthy showed the latter, must be highly
disagreeable to her, they doubted not but the laying hold on all
occasions to degrade and vilify him, would be highly pleasing to
her; who, as she hated the boy, must love all those who did him any
hurt. In this Thwackum had the advantage; for while Square could
only scarify the poor lad's reputation, he could flea his skin; and,
indeed, he considered every lash he gave him as a compliment paid to
his mistress; so that he could, with the utmost propriety, repeat this
old flogging line, "Castigo te non quod odio habeam, sed quod AMEN.
I chastise thee not out of hatred, but out of love." And this, indeed,
he often had in his mouth, or rather, according to the old phrase,
never more properly applied, at his fingers' ends.
For this reason, principally, the two gentlemen concurred, as we
have seen above, in their opinion concerning the two lads; this being,
indeed, almost the only instance of their concurring on any point;
for, beside the difference of their principles, they had both long ago
strongly suspected each other's design, and hated one another with
no little degree of inveteracy.
This mutual animosity was a good deal increased by their alternate
successes; for Mrs. Blifil knew what they would be at long before they
imagined it; or, indeed, intended she should: for they proceeded
with great caution, lest she should be offended, and acquaint Mr.
Allworthy. But they had no reason for any such fear; she was well
enough pleased with a passion, of which she intended none should
have any fruits but herself. And the only fruits she designed for
herself were, flattery and courtship; for which purpose she soothed
them by turns, and a long time equally. She was, indeed, rather
inclined to favour the parson's principles; but Square's person was
more agreeable to her eye, for he was a comly man; whereas the
pedagogue did in countenance very nearly resemble that gentleman, who,
in the Harlot's Progress, is seen correcting the ladies in Bridewell.
Whether Mrs. Blifil had been surfeited with the sweets of
marriage, or disgusted by its bitters, or from what other cause it
proceeded, I will not determine; but she could never be brought to
listen to any second proposals. However, she at last conversed with
Square with such a degree of intimacy that malicious tongues began
to whisper things of her, to which as well for the sake of the lady,
as that they were highly disagreeable to the rule of right and the
fitness of things, we will give no credit, and therefore shall not
blot our paper with them. The pedagogue, 'tis certain, whipped on,
without getting a step nearer to his journey's end.
Indeed he had committed a great error, and that Square discovered
much sooner than himself. Mrs. Blifil (as, perhaps, the reader may
have formerly guessed) was not over and above pleased with the
behaviour of her husband; nay, to be honest, she absolutely hated him,
till his death at last a little reconciled him to her affections. It
will not be therefore greatly wondered at, if she had not the most
violent regard to the offspring she had by him. And, in fact, she
had so little of this regard, that in his infancy she seldom saw her
son, or took any notice of him; and hence she acquiesced, after a
little reluctance, in all the favours which Mr. Allworthy showered
on the foundling; whom the good man called his own boy, and in all
things put on an entire equality with Master Blifil. This acquiescence
in Mrs. Blifil was considered by the neighbours, and by the family, as
a mark of her condescension to her brother's humour, and she was
imagined by all others, as well as Thwackum and Square, to hate the
foundling in her heart; nay, the more civility she showed him, the
more they conceived she detested him, and the surer schemes she was
laying for his ruin: for as they thought it her interest to hate
him, it was very difficult for her to persuade them she did not.
Thwackum was the more confirmed in his opinion, as she had more than
once slily caused him to whip Tom Jones, when Mr. Allworthy, who was
an enemy to this exercise, was abroad; whereas she had never given any
such orders concerning young Blifil. And this had likewise imposed
upon Square. In reality, though she certainly hated her own son- of
which, however monstrous it appears, I am assured she is not a
singular instance- she appeared, notwithstanding all her outward
compliance, to be in her heart sufficiently displeased with all the
favour shown by Mr. Allworthy to the foundling. She frequently
complained of this behind her brother's back, and very sharply
censured him for it, both to Thwackum and Square; nay, she would throw
it in the teeth of Allworthy himself, when a little quarrel, or
miff, as it is vulgarly called, arose between them.
However, when Tom grew up, and gave tokens of that gallantry of
temper which greatly recommends men to women, this disinclination
which she had discovered to him when a child, by degrees abated, and
at last she so evidently demonstrated her affection to him to be
much stronger than what she bore her own son, that it was impossible
to mistake her any longer. She was so desirous of often seeing him,
and discovered such satisfaction and delight in his company, that
before he was eighteen years old he was become a rival to both
Square and Thwackum; and what is worse, the whole country began to
talk as loudly of her inclination to Tom, as they had before done of
that which she had shown to Square: on which account the philosopher
conceived the most implacable hatred for our poor heroe.
Chapter 7
In which the author himself makes his appearance on the stage
Though Mr. Allworthy was not of himself hasty to see things in a
disadvantageous light, and was a stranger to the public voice, which
seldom reaches to a brother or a husband, though it rings in the
ears of all the neighbourhood; yet was this affection of Mrs. Blifil
to Tom, and the preference which she too visibly gave him to her own
son, of the utmost disadvantage to that youth.
For such was the compassion which inhabited Mr. Allworthy's mind,
that nothing but the steel of justice could ever subdue it. To be
unfortunate in any respect was sufficient, if there was no demerit
to counterpoise it, to turn the scale of that good man's pity, and
