conducted every scheme he undertook in such a manner, as if the
success of that alone was sufficient to constitute the whole happiness
of his life.
The joint importunities of both father and son-in-law would probably
have prevailed on Mr. Allworthy, who brooked but ill any delay of
giving happiness to others, had not Sophia herself prevented it, and
taken measures to put a final end to the whole treaty, and to rob both
church and law of those taxes which these wise bodies have thought
proper to receive from the propagation of the human species in a
lawful manner. Of which in the next chapter.
Chapter 7
A strange resolution of Sophia, and a more strange stratagem of Mrs.
Honour
Though Mrs. Honour was principally attached to her own interest, she
was not without some little attachment to Sophia. To say truth, it was
very difficult for any one to know that young lady without loving her.
She no sooner therefore heard a piece of news, which she imagined to
be of great importance to her mistress, than, quite forgetting the
anger which she had conceived two days before, at her unpleasant
dismission from Sophia's presence, she ran hastily to inform her of
the news.
The beginning of her discourse was as abrupt as her entrance into the
room. "O dear ma'am!" says she, "what doth your la'ship think? To be
sure I am frightened out of my wits; and yet I thought it my duty to
tell your la'ship, though perhaps it may make you angry, for we
servants don't always know what will make our ladies angry; for, to be
sure, everything is always laid to the charge of a servant. When our
ladies are out of humour, to be sure we must be scolded; and to be
sure I should not wonder if your la'ship should be out of humour; nay,
it must surprize you certainly, ay, and shock you too."- "Good
Honour, let me know it without any longer preface," says Sophia;
"there are few things, I promise you, which will surprize, and fewer
which will shock me."- "Dear ma'am," answered Honour, "to be sure, I
overheard my master talking to parson Supple about getting a licence
this very afternoon; and to be sure I heard him say, your la'ship
should be married to-morrow morning." Sophia turned pale at these
words, and repeated eagerly, "To-morrow morning!"- "Yes, ma'am,"
replied the trusty waiting-woman, "I will take my oath I heard my
master say so."- "Honour," says Sophia, "you have both surprized and
shocked me to such a degree that I have scarce any breath or spirits
left. What is to be done in my dreadful situation?"- "I wish I was
able to advise your la'ship," says she. "Do advise me," cries Sophia;
"pray, dear Honour, advise me. Think what you would attempt if it
was your own case."- "Indeed, ma'am," cries Honour, "I wish your
la'ship and I could change situations; that is, I mean without hurting
your la'ship; for to be sure I don't wish you so bad as to be a
servant; but because that if so be it was my case, I should find no
manner of difficulty in it; for, in my poor opinion, young Squire
Blifil is a charming, sweet, handsome man."- "Don't mention such
stuff," cries Sophia. "Such stuff!" repeated Honour; "why, there.
Well, to be sure, what's one man's meat is another man's poison, and
the same is altogether as true of women."- "Honour," says Sophia,
"rather than submit to be the wife of that contemptible wretch, I
would plunge a dagger into my heart."- "O lud! ma'am!" answered the
other, "I am sure you frighten me out of my wits now. Let me beseech
your la'ship not to suffer such wicked thoughts to come into your
head. O lud! to be sure I tremble every inch of me. Dear ma'am,
consider, that to be denied Christian burial, and to have your
corpse buried in the highway, and a stake drove through you, as farmer
Halfpenny was served at Ox Cross; and, to be sure, his ghost hath
walked there ever since, for several people have seen him. To be
sure it can be nothing but the devil which can put such wicked
thoughts into the head of anybody; for certainly it is less wicked
to hurt all the world than one's own dear self; and so I have heard
said by more parsons than one. If your la'ship hath such a violent
aversion, and hates the young gentleman so very bad, that you can't
bear to think of going into bed to him; for to be sure there may be
such antipathies in nature, and one had lieverer touch a toad than the
flesh of some people.-
"Sophia had been too much wrapt in contemplation to pay any great
attention to the foregoing excellent discourse of her maid;
interrupting her therefore, without making any answer to it, she said,
"Honour, I am come to a resolution. I am determined to leave my
father's house this very night; and if you have the friendship for
me which you have often professed, you will keep me company."- "That
I will, ma'am, to the world's end," answered Honour; "but I beg your
la'ship to consider the consequence before you undertake any rash
action. Where can your la'ship possibly go?"- "There is," replied
Sophia, "a lady of quality in London, a relation of mine, who spent
several months with my aunt in the country; during all which time
she treated me with great kindness, and expressed so much pleasure
in my company, that she earnestly desired my aunt to suffer me to go
with her to London. As she is a woman of very great note, I shall
easily find her out, and I make no doubt of being very well and kindly
received by her."- "I would not have your la'ship too confident of
that," cries Honour; "for the first lady I lived with used to invite
people very earnestly to her house; but if she heard afterwards they
were coming, she used to get out of the way. Besides, though this lady
would be very glad to see your la'ship, as to be sure anybody would be
glad to see your la'ship, yet when she hears your la'ship is run away
from my master-" "You are mistaken, Honour," says Sophia: "she looks
upon the authority of a father in a much lower light than I do; for
she pressed me violently to go to London with her, and when I refused
to go without my father's consent, she laughed me to scorn, called me
silly country girl, and said, I should make a pure loving wife, since
I could be so dutiful a daughter. So I have no doubt but she will both
receive me and protect me too, till my father, finding me out of his
power, can be brought to some reason."
"Well, but, ma'am," answered Honour, "how doth your la'ship think of
making your escape? Where will you get any horses or conveyance? For
as for your own horse, as all the servants know a little how matters
stand between my master and your la'ship, Robin will be hanged
before he will suffer it to go out of the stable without my master's
express orders." "I intend to escape," said Sophia, "by walking out of
the doors when they are open. I thank Heaven my legs are very able
to carry me. They have supported me many a long evening after a
fiddle, with no very agreeable partner; and surely they will assist me
in running from so detestable a partner for life."- "Oh Heaven,
ma'am! doth your la'ship know what you are saying?" cries Honour;
"would you think of walking about the country by night and
alone?"- "Not alone," answered the lady; "you have promised to bear
me company."- "Yes, to be sure," cries Honour, "I will follow your
la'ship through the world; but your la'ship had almost as good be
alone: for I should not be able to defend you, if any robbers, or
other villains, should meet with you, Nay, I should be in as
horrible a fright as your la'ship; for to be certain, they would
ravish us both. Besides, ma'am, consider how cold the nights are
now; we shall be frozen to death."- "A good brisk pace," answered
Sophia, "will preserve us from the cold; and if you cannot defend me
from a villain, Honour, I will defend you; for I will take a pistol
with me. There are two always charged in the hall."- "Dear ma'am, you
frighten me more and more," cries Honour: "sure your la'ship would not
venture to fire it off! I had rather run any chance than your
la'ship should do that."- "Why so?" says Sophia, smiling, "would not
you, Honour, fire a pistol at any one who should attack your
virtue?"- "To be sure, ma'am," cries Honour, "one's virtue is a dear
thing, especially to us poor servants; for it is our livelihood, as
a body may say: yet I mortally hate fire-arms; for so many accidents
happen by them."- "Well, well," says Sophia, "I believe I may ensure
your virtue at a very cheap rate, without carrying any arms with us;
for I intend to take horses at the very first town we come to, and
we shall hardly be attacked in our way thither. Look'ee, Honour, I
am resolved to go; and if you will attend me, I promise you I will
reward you to the very utmost of my power."
This last argument had a stronger effect on Honour than all the
preceding. And since she saw her mistress so determined, she
desisted from any further dissuasions. They then entered into a debate
on ways and means of executing their project. Here a very stubborn
difficulty occurred, and this was the removal of their effects,
which was much more easily got over by the mistress than by the
maid; for when a lady hath once taken a resolution to run to a
lover, or to run from him, all obstacles are considered as trifles.
But Honour was inspired by no such motive; she had no raptures to
expect, nor any terrors to shun; and besides the real value of her
clothes, in which consisted a great part of her fortune, she had a
capricious fondness for several gowns, and other things; either
because they became her, or because they were given her by such a
particular person; because she had bought them lately, or because
she had had long; or for some other reasons equally good; so that
she could not endure the thoughts of leaving the poor things behind
her exposed to the mercy of Western, who, she doubted not, would in
his rage make them suffer martyrdom.
The ingenious Mrs. Honour having applied all her oratory to dissuade
her mistress from her purpose, when she found her positively
determined, at last started the following expedient to remove her
clothes, viz., to get herself turned out of doors that very evening.
Sophia highly approved this method, but doubted how it might be
brought about. "O, ma'am," cries Honour, "your la'ship may trust
that to me; we servants very well know how to obtain this favour of
our masters and mistresses; though sometimes, indeed, where they owe
us more wages than they can readily pay, they will put up with all our
affronts, and will hardly take any warning we can give them; but the
squire is none of those; and since your la'ship is resolved upon
setting out to-night, I warrant I get discharged this afternoon." It
was then resolved that she should pack up some linen and a
night-gown for Sophia, with her own things, and as for all her other
clothes, the young lady abandoned them with no more remorse than the
sailor feels when he throws over the goods of others, in order to save
his own life.
Chapter 8
Containing scenes of altercation, of no very uncommon kind
Mrs. Honour had scarce sooner parted from her young lady, than
something (for I would not, like the old woman in Quevedo, injure
the devil by any false accusation, and possibly he might have no
hand in it)- but something, I say, suggested itself to her, that by
sacrificing Sophia and all her secrets to Mr. Western, she might
probably make her fortune. Many considerations urged this discovery.
The fair prospect of a handsome reward for so great and acceptable a
service to the squire, tempted her avarice; and again, the danger of
the enterprize she had undertaken; the uncertainty of its success;
night, cold, robbers, ravishers, all alarmed her fears. So forcibly
did all these operate upon her, that she was almost determined to go
directly to the squire, and to lay open the whole affair. She was,
however, too upright a judge to decree on one side, before she had
heard the other. And here, first, a journey to London appeared very
strongly in support of Sophia. She eagerly longed to see a place in
which she fancied charms short only of those which a raptured saint
imagines in heaven. In the next place, as she knew Sophia to have much
more generosity than her master, so her fidelity promised her a
greater reward than she could gain by treachery. She then
cross-examined all the articles which had raised her fears on the
other side, and found, on fairly sifting the matter, that there was
very little in them. And now both scales being reduced to a pretty
even balance, her love to her mistress being thrown into the scale
of her integrity, made that rather preponderate, when a circumstance
struck upon her imagination which might have had a dangerous effect,
had its whole weight been fairly put into the other scale. This was
the length of time which must intervene before Sophia would be able to
fulfil her promises; for though she was intitled to her mother's
fortune at the death of her father, and to the sum of L3000 left her
by an uncle when she came of age; yet these were distant days, and
many accidents might prevent the intended generosity of the young
lady; whereas the rewards she might expect from Mr. Western were
immediate. But while she was pursuing this thought the good genius
of Sophia, or that which presided over the integrity of Mrs. Honour,
