guests with beer, which they called for with great eagerness; and upon
his second or third return from the cellar, he saw Mr. Jones
standing before the fire in the midst of the soldiers; for it may
easily be believed, that the arrival of so much good company should
put an end to any sleep, unless that from which we are to be
awakened only by the last trumpet.
The company having now pretty well satisfied their thirst, nothing
remained but to pay the reckoning, a circumstance often productive
of much mischief and discontent among the inferior rank of gentry, who
are apt to find great difficulty in assessing the sum, with exact
regard to distributive justice, which directs that every man shall pay
according to the quantity which he drinks. This difficulty occurred
upon the present occasion; and it was the greater, as some gentlemen
had, in their extreme hurry, marched off, after their first draught,
and had entirely forgot to contribute anything towards the said
reckoning.
A violent dispute now arose, in which every word may be said to have
been deposed upon oath; for the oaths were at least equal to all the
other words spoken. In this controversy the whole company spoke
together, and every man seemed wholly bent to extenuate the sum
which fell to his share; so that the most probable conclusion which
could be foreseen was, that a large portion of the reckoning would
fall to the landlord's share to pay, or (what is much the same
thing) would remain unpaid.
All this while Mr. Jones was engaged in conversation with the
serjeant; for that officer was entirely unconcerned in the present
dispute, being privileged by immemorial custom from all contribution.
The dispute now grew so very warm that it seemed to draw towards a
military decision, when Jones, stepping forward, silenced all their
clamours at once, by declaring that he would pay the whole
reckoning, which indeed amounted to no more than three shillings and
fourpence.
This declaration procured Jones the thanks and applause of the whole
company. The terms honourable, noble, and worthy gentleman,
resounded through the room; nay, my landlord himself began to have a
better opinion of him, and almost to disbelieve the account which
the guide had given.
The serjeant had informed Mr. Jones that they were marching
against the rebels, and expected to be commanded by the glorious
Duke of Cumberland. By which the reader may perceive (a circumstance
which we have not thought necessary to communicate before) that this
was the very time when the late rebellion was at the highest; and
indeed the banditti were now marched into England, intending, as it
was thought, to fight the king's forces, and to attempt pushing
forward to the metropolis.
Jones had some heroic ingredients in his composition, and was a
hearty well-wisher to the glorious cause of liberty, and of the
Protestant religion. It is no wonder, therefore, that in circumstances
which would have warranted a much more romantic and wild
undertaking, it should occur to him to serve as a volunteer in this
expedition.
Our commanding officer had said all in his power to encourage and
promote this good disposition, from the first moment he had been
acquainted with it. He now proclaimed the noble resolution aloud,
which was received with great pleasure by the whole company, who all
cried out, "God bless King George and your honour"; and then added,
with many oaths, "We will stand by you both to the last drops of our
blood."
The gentleman who had been all night tippling at the ale-house,
was prevailed on by some arguments which a corporal had put into his
hands, to undertake the same expedition. And now the portmanteau
belonging to Mr. Jones being put up in the baggage-cart, the forces
were about to move forwards; when the guide, stepping up to Jones,
said, "Sir, I hope you will consider that the horses have been kept
out all night, and we have travelled a great ways out of our way."
Jones was surprized at the impudence of this demand, and acquainted
the soldiers with the merits of his cause, who were all unanimous in
condemning the guide for his endeavours to put upon a gentleman.
Some said, he ought to be tied neck and heels; others that he deserved
to run the gantlope; and the serjeant shook his cane at him, and
wished he had him under his command, swearing heartily he would make
an example of him.
Jones contented himself however with a negative punishment, and
walked off with his new comrades, leaving the guide to the poor
revenge of cursing and reviling him; in which latter the landlord
joined, saying, "Ay, ay, he is a pure one, I warrant you. A pretty
gentleman, indeed, to go for a soldier! He shall wear a laced
waistcoat truly. It is an old proverb and a true one, all is not
gold that glisters. I am glad my house is well rid of him."
All that day the serjeant and the young soldier marched together;
and the former, who was an arch fellow, told the latter many
entertaining stories of his campaigns, though in reality he had
never made any; for he was but lately come into the service, and
had, by his own dexterity, so well ingratiated himself with his
officers, that he had promoted himself to a halberd; chiefly indeed by
his merit in recruiting, in which he was most excellently well
skilled.
Much mirth and festivity passed among the soldiers during their
march. In which the many occurrences that had passed at their last
quarters were remembered, and every one, with great freedom, made what
jokes he pleased on his officers, some of which were of the coarser
kind, and very near bordering on scandal. This brought to our
heroe's mind the custom which he had read of among the Greeks and
Romans, of indulging, on certain festivals and solemn occasions, the
liberty to slaves, of using an uncontrouled freedom of speech
towards their masters.
Our little army, which consisted of two companies of foot, were
now arrived at the place where they were to halt that evening. The
serjeant then acquainted his lieutenant, who was the commanding
officer, that they had picked up two fellows in that day's march,
one of which, he said, was as fine a man as ever he saw (meaning the
tippler), for that he was near six feet, well proportioned, and
strongly limbed; and the other (meaning Jones) would do well enough
for the rear rank.
The new soldiers were now produced before the officer, who having
examined the six-feet man, he being first produced, came next to
survey Jones: at the first sight of whom, the lieutenant could not
help showing some surprize; for besides that he was very well dressed,
and was naturally genteel, he had a remarkable air of dignity in his
look, which is rarely seen among the vulgar, and is indeed not
inseparably annexed to the features of their superiors.
"Sir," said the lieutenant, "my serjeant informed me that you are
desirous of enlisting in the company I have at present under my
command; if so, sir, we shall very gladly receive a gentleman who
promises to do much honour to the company by bearing arms in it."
Jones answered: "That he had not mentioned anything of enlisting
himself; that he was most zealously attached to the glorious cause for
which they were going to fight, and was very desirous of serving as
a volunteer;" concluding with some compliments to the lieutenant,
and expressing the great satisfaction he should have in being under
his command.
The lieutenant returned his civility, commended his resolution,
shook him by the hand, and invited him to dine with himself and the
rest of the officers.
Chapter 12
The adventure of a company of officers
The lieutenant, whom we mentioned in the preceding chapter, and
who commanded this party, was now near sixty years of age. He had
entered very young into the army, and had served in the capacity of an
ensign at the battle of Tannieres; here he had received two wounds,
and had so well distinguished himself, that he was by the Duke of
Marlborough advanced to be a lieutenant, immediately after that
battle.
In this commission he had continued ever since, viz., near forty
years; during which time he had seen vast numbers preferred over his
head, and had now the mortification to be commanded by boys, whose
fathers were at nurse when he first entered into the service.
Nor was this ill success in his profession solely owing to his
having no friends among the men in power. He had the misfortune to
incur the displeasure of his colonel, who for many years continued
in the command of this regiment. Nor did he owe the implacable
ill-will which this man bore him to any neglect or deficiency as an
officer, nor indeed to any fault in himself; but solely to the
indiscretion of his wife, who was a very beautiful woman, and who,
though she was remarkably fond of her husband, would not purchase
his preferment at the expense of certain favours which the colonel
required of her.
The poor lieutenant was more peculiarly unhappy in this, that
while he felt the effects of the enmity of his colonel, he neither
knew, nor suspected, that he really bore him any; for he could not
suspect an ill-will for which he was not conscious of giving any
cause; and his wife, fearing what her husband's nice regard to his
honour might have occasioned, contented herself with preserving her
virtue without enjoying the triumphs of her conquest.
This unfortunate officer (for so I think he may be called) had
many good qualities besides his merit in his profession; for he was
a religious, honest, good-natured man; and had behaved so well in
his command, that he was highly esteemed and beloved not only by the
soldiers of his own company, but by the whole regiment.
The other officers who marched with him were a French lieutenant,
who had been long enough out of France to forget his own language, but
not long enough in England to learn ours, so that he really spoke no
language at all, and could barely make himself understood on the
most ordinary occasions. There were likewise two ensigns, both very
young fellows; one of whom had been bred under an attorney, and the
other was son to the wife of a nobleman's butler.
As soon as dinner was ended, Jones informed the company of the
merriment which had passed among the soldiers upon their march; "and
yet," says he, "notwithstanding all their vociferation, I dare swear
they will behave more like Grecians than Trojans when they come to the
enemy."- "Grecians and Trojans!" says one of the ensigns, "who the
devil are they? I have heard of all the troops in Europe, but never of
any such as these."
"Don't pretend to more ignorance than you have, Mr. Northerton,"
said the worthy lieutenant. "I suppose you have heard of the Greeks
and Trojans, though perhaps you never read Pope's Homer; who, I
remember, now the gentleman mentions it, compares the march of the
Trojans to the cackling of geese, and greatly commends the silence
of the Grecians. And upon my honour there is great justice in the
cadet's observation."
"Begar, me remember dem ver well," said the French lieutenant: "me
ave read them at school in dans Madam Daciere, des Greek, des
Trojan, dey fight for von woman- ouy, ouy, me ave read all dat."
"D--n Homo with all my heart," says Northerton; "I have the marks
of him on my a- yet. There's Thomas, of our regiment, always carries
a Homo in his pocket; d--n me, if ever I come at it, if I don't burn
it. And there's Corderius, another d--n'd son of a whore, that hath
got me many a flogging."
"Then you have been at school, Mr. Northerton?" said the lieutenant.
"Ay, d--n me, have I," answered he; "the devil take my father for
sending me thither! The old put wanted to make a parson of me, but
d--n me, thinks I to myself, I'll nick you there, old cull; the devil
a smack of your nonsense shall you ever get into me. There's Jemmy
Oliver, of our regiment, he narrowly escaped being a pimp too, and
that would have been a thousand pities; for d--n me if he is not one
of the prettiest fellows in the whole world; but he went farther than
I with the old cull, for Jimmey can neither write nor read."
"You give your friend a very good character," said the lieutenant,
"and a very deserved one, I dare say. But prithee, Northerton, leave
off that foolish as well as wicked custom of swearing; for you are
deceived, I promise you, if you think there is wit or politeness in
it. I wish, too, you would take my advice, and desist from abusing the
clergy. Scandalous names, and reflections cast on any body of men,
must be always unjustifiable; but especially so, when thrown on so
sacred a function; for to abuse the body is to abuse the function
itself; and I leave to you to judge how inconsistent such behaviour is
in men who are going to fight in defence of the Protestant religion."
Mr. Adderly, which was the name of the other ensign, had sat
hitherto kicking his heels and humming a tune, without seeming to
listen to the discourse; he now answered, "O, Monsieur, on ne parle
pas de la religion dans la guerre."- "Well said, Jack," cries
Northerton: "if la religion was the only matter, the parsons should
fight their own battles for me."
"I don't know, gentlemen," said Jones, "what may be your opinion;
but I think no man can engage in a nobler cause than that of his
religion; and I have observed, in the little I have read of history,
that no soldiers have fought so bravely as those who have been
inspired with a religious zeal: for my own part, though I love my king
and country, I hope, as well as any man in it, yet the Protestant
interest is no small motive to my becoming a volunteer in the cause."
Northerton now winked on Adderly, and whispered to him slily, "Smoke
