have said, reconciled to his brother; yet the same rancour remained in
his heart; and he found so many opportunities of giving him private
hints of this, that the house at last grew insupportable to the poor
doctor; and he chose rather to submit to any inconveniences which he
might encounter in the world, than longer to bear these cruel and
ungrateful insults from a brother for whom he had done so much.
He once intended to acquaint Allworthy with the whole; but he
could not bring himself to submit to the confession, by which he
must take to his share so great a portion of guilt. Besides, by how
much the worse man he represented his brother to be, so much the
greater would his own offence appear to Allworthy, and so much the
greater, he had reason to imagine, would be his resentment.
He feigned, therefore, some excuse of business for his departure,
and promised to return soon again; and took leave of his brother
with so well-dissembled content, that, as the captain played his
part to the same perfection, Allworthy remained well satisfied with
the truth of the reconciliation.
The doctor went directly to London, where he died soon after of a
broken heart; a distemper which kills many more than is generally
imagined, and would have a fair title to a place in the bill of
mortality, did it not differ in one instance from all other
diseases- viz., that no physician can cure it.
Now, upon the most diligent enquiry into the former lives of these
two brothers, I find, besides the cursed and hellish maxim of policy
above mentioned, another reason for the captain's conduct: the
captain, besides what we have before said of him, was a man of great
pride and fierceness, and had always treated his brother, who was of a
different complexion, and greatly deficient in both these qualities,
with the utmost air of superiority. The doctor, however, had much
the larger share of learning, and was by many reputed to have the
better understanding. This the captain knew, and could not bear; for
though envy is at best a very malignant passion, yet is its bitterness
greatly heightened by mixing with contempt towards the same object;
and very much afraid I am, that whenever an obligation is joined to
these two, indignation and not gratitude will be the product of all
three.
BOOK II
CONTAINING SCENES OF MATRIMONIAL FELICITY IN DIFFERENT DEGREES OF
LIFE; AND VARIOUS OTHER TRANSACTIONS DURING THE FIRST TWO YEARS
AFTER THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN CAPTAIN BLIFIL AND MISS BRIDGET ALLWORTHY
Chapter 1
Showing what kind of a history this is; what it is like, and what it
is not like
Though we have properly enough entitled this our work, a history,
and not a life; nor an apology for a life, as is more in fashion;
yet we intend in it rather to pursue the method of those writers,
who profess to disclose the revolutions of countries, than to
imitate the painful and voluminous historian, who, to preserve the
regularity of his series, thinks himself obliged to fill up as much
paper with the detail of months and years in which nothing
remarkable happened, as he employs upon those notable aeras when the
greatest scenes have been transacted on the human stage.
Such histories as these do, in reality, very much resemble a
newspaper, which consists of just the same number of words, whether
there be any news in it or not. They may likewise be compared to a
stage coach, which performs constantly the same course, empty as
well as full. The writer, indeed, seems to think himself obliged to
keep even pace with time, whose amanuensis he is; and, like his
master, travels as slowly through centuries of monkish dulness, when
the world seems to have been asleep, as through that bright and busy
age so nobly distinguished by the excellent Latin poet-
Ad confligendum venientibus undique poenis,
Omnia cum belli trepido concussa tumultu
Horrida contremuere sub altis aetheris auris;
In dubioque fuit sub utrorum regna cadendum
Omnibus humanis esset, terraque marique.
Of which we wish we could give our readers a more adequate translation
than that by Mr. Creech-
When dreadful Carthage frighted Rome with arms,
And all the world was shook with fierce alarms;
Whilst undecided yet, which part should fall,
Which nation rise the glorious lord of all.
Now it is our purpose, in the ensuing pages, to pursue a contrary
method. When any extraordinary scene presents itself (as we trust will
often be the case), we shall spare no pains nor paper to open it at
large to our reader; but if whole years should pass without
producing anything worthy his notice, we shall not be afraid of a
chasm in our history; but shall hasten on to matters of consequence,
and leave such periods of time totally unobserved.
These are indeed to be considered as blanks in the grand lottery
of time. We therefore, who are the registers of that lottery, shall
imitate those sagacious persons who deal in that which is drawn at
Guildhall, and who never trouble the public with the many blanks
they dispose of; but when a great prize happens to be drawn, the
newspapers are presently filled with it, and the world is sure to be
informed at whose office it was sold: indeed, commonly two or three
different offices lay claim to the honour of having disposed of it; by
which, I suppose, the adventurers are given to understand that certain
brokers are in the secrets of Fortune, and indeed of her cabinet
council.
My reader then is not to be surprized, if, in the course of this
work, he shall find some chapters very short, and others altogether as
long; some that contain only the time of a single day, and others that
comprise years; in a word, if my history sometimes seems to stand
still, and sometimes to fly. For all which I shall not look on
myself as accountable to any court of critical jurisdiction
whatever: for as I am, in reality, the founder of a new province of
writing, so I am at liberty to make what laws I please therein. And
these laws, my readers, whom I consider as my subjects, are bound to
believe in and to obey; with which that they may readily and
cheerfully comply, I do hereby assure them that I shall principally
regard their ease and advantage in all such institutions: for I do
not, like a jure divino* tyrant, imagine that they are my slaves, or
my commodity. I am, indeed, set over them for their own good only, and
was created for their use, and not they for mine. Nor do I doubt,
while I make their interest the great rule of my writings, they will
unanimously concur in supporting my dignity, and in rendering me all
the honour I shall deserve or desire.
*By divine right.
Chapter 2
Religious cautions against showing too much favour to bastards;
and a great discovery made by Mrs. Deborah Wilkins
Eight months after the celebration of the nuptials between Captain
Blifil and Miss Bridget Allworthy, a young lady of great beauty,
merit, and fortune, was Miss Bridget, by reason of a fright, delivered
of a fine boy. The child was indeed to all appearances perfect; but
the midwife discovered it was born a month before its full time.
Though the birth of an heir by his beloved sister was a circumstance
of great joy to Mr. Allworthy, yet it did not alienate his
affections from the little foundling, to whom he had been godfather,
had given his own name of Thomas, and whom he had hitherto seldom
failed of visiting, at least once a day, in his nursery.
He told his sister, if she pleased, the newborn infant should be
bred up together with little Tommy; to which she consented, though
with some little reluctance: for she had truly a great complacence for
her brother; and hence she had always behaved towards the foundling
with rather more kindness than ladies of rigid virtue can sometimes
bring themselves to show to these children, who, however innocent, may
be truly called the living monuments of incontinence.
The captain could not so easily bring himself to bear what he
condemned as a fault in Mr. Allworthy. He gave him frequent hints,
that to adopt the fruits of sin, was to give countenance to it. He
quoted several texts (for he was well read in Scripture), such as,
He visits the sins of the fathers upon the children; and the fathers
have eaten sour grapes, and children's teeth are set on edge, &c.
Whence he argued the legality of punishing the crime of the parent
on the bastard. He said, "Though the law did not positively allow
the destroying such base-born children, yet it held them to be the
children of nobody; that the Church considered them as the children of
nobody; and that at the best, they ought to be brought up to the
lowest and vilest offices of the commonwealth."
Mr. Allworthy answered to all this, and much more, which the captain
had urged on this subject, "That, however guilty the parents might be,
the children were certainly innocent: that as to the texts he had
quoted, the former of them was a particular denunciation against the
jews, for the sin of idolatry, of relinquishing and hating their
heavenly King; and the latter was parabolically spoken, and rather
intended to denote the certain and necessary consequences of sin, than
any express judgment against it. But to represent the Almighty as
avenging the sins of the guilty on the innocent, was indecent, if
not blasphemous, as it to represent him acting against the first
principles of natural justice, and against the original notions of
right and wrong, which he himself had implanted in our minds; by which
we were to judge not only in all matters which were not revealed,
but even of the truth of revelation itself." He said he knew many held
the same principles with the captain on this head; but he was
himself firmly convinced to the contrary, and would provide in the
same manner for this poor infant, as if a legitimate child had had
fortune to have been found in the same place.
While the captain was taking all opportunities to press these and
such like arguments, to remove the little foundling from Mr.
Allworthy's, of whose fondness for him he began to be jealous, Mrs.
Deborah had made a discovery, which, in its event, threatened at least
to prove more fatal to poor Tommy than all the reasonings of the
captain.
Whether the insatiable curiosity of this good woman had carried
her on to that business, or whether she did it to confirm herself in
the good graces of Mrs. Blifil, who, notwithstanding her outward
behaviour to the foundling, frequently abused the infant in private,
and her brother too, for his fondness to it, I will not determine; but
she had now, as she conceived, fully detected the father of the
foundling.
Now, as this was a discovery of great consequence, it may be
necessary to trace it from the fountain-head. We shall therefore
very minutely lay open those previous matters by which it was
produced; and for that purpose we shall be obliged to reveal all the
secrets of a little family with which my reader is at present entirely
unacquainted; and of which the oeconomy was so rare and extraordinary,
that I fear it will shock the utmost credulity of many married
persons.
Chapter 3
The description of a domestic government founded upon rules directly
contrary to those of Aristotle
My reader may please to remember he hath been informed that Jenny
Jones had lived some years with a certain schoolmaster, who had, at
her earnest desire, instructed her in Latin, in which, to do justice
to her genius, she had so improved herself, that she was become a
better scholar than her master.
Indeed, though this poor man had undertaken a profession to which
learning must be allowed necessary, this was the least of his
commendations. He was one of the best-natured fellows in the world,
and was, at the same time, master of so much pleasantry and humour,
that he was reputed the wit of the country; and all the neighbouring
gentlemen were so desirous of his company, that as denying was not his
talent, he spent much time at their houses, which he might, with
more emolument, have spent in his school.
It may be imagined that a gentleman so qualified and so disposed,
was in no danger of becoming formidable to the learned seminaries of
Eton or Westminster. To speak plainly, his scholars were divided
into two classes: in the upper of which was a young gentleman, the son
of a neighboring squire, who, at the age of seventeen, was just
entered into his Syntaxis; and in the lower was a second son of the
same gentleman, who, together with seven parish-boys, was learning
to read and write.
The stipend arising hence would hardly have indulged the
schoolmaster in the luxuries of life, had he not added to this
office those of clerk and barber, and had not Mr. Allworthy added to
the whole an annuity of ten pounds, which the poor man received
every Christmas, and with which he was enabled to cheer his heart
during that sacred festival.
Among his other treasures, the pedagogue had a wife, whom he had
married out of Mr. Allworthy's kitchen for her fortune, viz., twenty
pounds, which she had there amassed.
This woman was not very amiable in her person. Whether she sat to my
friend Hogarth, or no, I will not determine; but she exactly resembled
the young woman who is pouring out her mistress's tea in the third
picture of the Harlot's Progress. She was, besides, a profest follower
of that noble sect founded by Xantippe of old; by means of which she
became more formidable in the school than her husband; for, to confess
the truth, he was never master there, or anywhere else, in her
presence.
Though her countenance did not denote much natural sweetness of
temper, yet this was, perhaps, somewhat soured by a circumstance which
generally poisons matrimonial felicity; for children are rightly
called the pledges of love; and her husband, though they had been
