uneasiness at being prevented from pursuing her journey. She is a
sweet pretty creature," added she, "and I am certain I have seen
her face before. I fancy she is in love, and running away from her
friends. Who knows but some young gentleman or other may be
expecting her, with a heart as heavy as her own?"
Jones fetched a heavy sigh at those words; of which, though Mrs.
Waters observed it, she took no notice while the landlady continued in
the room; but, after the departure of that good woman, she could not
forbear giving our heroe certain hints on her suspecting some very
dangerous rival in his affections. The aukward behaviour of Mr.
Jones on this occasion convinced her of the truth, without his
giving her a direct answer to any of her questions; but she was not
nice enough in her amours to be greatly concerned at the discovery.
The beauty of Jones highly charmed her eye; but as she could not see
his heart, she gave herself no concern about it. She could feast
heartily at the table of love, without reflecting that some other
already had been, or hereafter might be, feasted with the same repast.
A sentiment which, if it deals but little in refinement, deals,
however, much in substance; and is less capricious, and perhaps less
ill-natured and selfish, than the desires of those females who can
be contented enough to abstain from the possession of their lovers,
provided they are sufficiently satisfied that no one else possesses
them.
Chapter 7
Containing a fuller account of Mrs. Waters, and by what means she
came into that distressful situation from which she was rescued by
Jones
Though Nature hath by no means mixed up an equal share either of
curiosity or vanity in every human composition, there is perhaps no
individual to whom she hath not allotted such a proportion of both
as requires much arts, and pains too, to subdue and keep under;- a
conquest, however, absolutely necessary to every one who would in
any degree deserve the characters of wisdom or good breeding.
As Jones, therefore, might very justly be called a well-bred man, he
had stifled all that curiosity which the extraordinary manner in which
he had found Mrs. Waters must be supposed to have occasioned. He
had, indeed, at first thrown out some few hints to the lady; but, when
he perceived her industriously avoiding any explanation, he was
contented to remain in ignorance, the rather as he was not without
suspicion that there were some circumstances which must have raised
her blushes, had she related the whole truth.
Now since it is possible that some of our readers may not so
easily acquiesce under the same ignorance, and as we are very desirous
to satisfy them all, we have taken uncommon pains to inform
ourselves of the real fact, with the relation of which we shall
conclude this book.
This lady, then, had lived some years with one Captain Waters, who
was a captain in the same regiment to which Mr. Northerton belonged.
She past for that gentleman's wife, and went by his name; and yet,
as the serjeant said, there were some doubts concerning the reality of
their marriage, which we shall not at present take upon us to resolve.
Mrs. Waters, I am sorry to say it, had for some time contracted an
intimacy with the above-mentioned ensign, which did no great credit to
her reputation. That she had a remarkable fondness for that young
fellow is most certain; but whether she indulged this to any very
criminal lengths is not so extremely clear, unless we will suppose
that women never grant every favour to a man but one, without granting
him that one also.
The division of the regiment to which Captain Waters belonged had
two days preceded the march of that company to which Mr. Northerton
was the ensign; so that the former had reached Worcester the very
day after the unfortunate re-encounter between Jones and Northerton
which we have before recorded.
Now, it had been agreed between Mrs. Waters and the captain that she
would accompany him in his march as far as Worcester, where they
were to take their leave of each other, and she was thence to return
to Bath, where she was to stay till the end of the winter's campaign
against the rebels.
With this agreement Mr. Northerton was made acquainted. To say the
truth, the lady had made him an assignation at this very place, and
promised to stay at Worcester till his division came thither; with
what view, and for what purpose, must be left to the reader's
divination; for, though we are obliged to relate facts, are not
obliged to do a violence to our nature by any comments to the
disadvantage of the loveliest part of the creation.
Northerton no sooner obtained a release from his captivity, as we
have seen, than he hasted away to overtake Mrs. Waters; which, as he
was a very active nimble fellow, he did at the last-mentioned city,
some few hours after Captain Waters had left her. At his first arrival
he made no scruple of acquainting her with the unfortunate accident;
which he made appear very unfortunate indeed, for he totally extracted
every particle of what could be called fault, at least in a court of
honour, though he left some circumstances which might be
questionable in a court of law.
Women, to their glory be it spoken, are more generally capable of
that violent and apparently disinterested passion of love, which seeks
only the good of its object, than men. Mrs. Waters, therefore, was
no sooner apprized of the danger to which her lover was exposed,
than she lost every consideration besides that of his safety; and this
being a matter equally agreeable to the gentleman, it became the
immediate subject of debate between them.
After much consultation on this matter, it was at length agreed that
the ensign should go across the country to Hereford, whence he might
find some conveyance to one of the seaports in Wales, and thence might
make his escape abroad. In all which expedition Mrs. Waters declared
she would bear him company; and for which was able to furnish him with
money, a very material article to Mr. Northerton, she having then in
her pocket three banknotes to the amount of L90, besides some cash,
and a diamond ring of pretty considerable value on her finger. All
which she, with the utmost confidence, revealed to this wicked man,
little suspecting she should by these means inspire him with a
design of robbing her. Now, as they must, by taking horses from
Worcester, have furnished any pursuers with the means of hereafter
discovering their route, the ensign proposed, and the lady presently
agreed, to make their first stage on foot; for which purpose the
hardness of the frost was very seasonable.
The main part of the lady's baggage was already at Bath, and she had
nothing with her at present besides a very small quantity of linen,
which the gallant undertook to carry in his own pockets. All things,
therefore, being settled in the evening, they arose early the next
morning, and at five o'clock departed from Worcester, it being then
above two hours before day, but the moon, which was then at the
full, gave them all the light she was capable of affording.
Mrs. Waters was not of that delicate race of women who are obliged
to the invention of vehicles for the capacity of removing themselves
from one place to another, and with whom consequently a coach is
reckoned among the necessaries of life. Her limbs were indeed full
of strength and agility, and, as her mind was no less animated with
spirit, she was perfectly able to keep pace with her nimble lover.
Having travelled on for some miles in a high road, which
Northerton said he was informed led to Hereford, they came at the
break of day to the side of a large wood, where he suddenly stopped,
and, affecting to meditate a moment with himself, expressed some
apprehensions from travelling any longer in so public a way. Upon
which he easily persuaded his fair companion to strike with him into a
path which seemed to lead directly through the wood, and which at
length brought them both to the bottom of Mazard Hill.
Whether the execrable scheme which he now attempted to execute was
the effect of previous deliberation, or whether it now first came into
his head, I cannot determine. But being arrived in this lonely
place, where it was very improbable he should meet with any
interruption, he suddenly slipped his garter from his leg, and, laying
violent hands on the poor woman, endeavoured to perpetrate that
dreadful and detestable fact which we have before commemorated, and
which the providential appearance of Jones did so fortunately prevent.
Happy was it for Mrs. Waters that she was not of the weakest order
of females; for no sooner did she perceive, by his tying a knot in his
garter, and by his declarations, what his hellish intentions were,
than she stood stoutly to her defence, and so strongly struggled
with her enemy, screaming all the while for assistance, that she
delayed the execution of the villain's purpose several minutes, by
which means Mr. Jones came to her relief at that very instant when her
strength failed and she was totally overpowered, and delivered her
from the ruffian's hands, with no other loss than that of her cloaths,
which were torn from her back, and of the diamond ring, which during
the contention either dropped from her finger, or was wrenched from it
by Northerton.
Thus, reader, we have given thee the fruits of a very painful
enquiry which for thy satisfaction we have made into this matter.
And here we have opened to thee a scene of folly as well as villany,
which we could scarce have believed a human creature capable of
being guilty of, had we not remembered that this fellow was at that
time firmly persuaded that he had already committed a murder, and
had forfeited his life to the law. As he concluded therefore that
his only safety lay in flight, he thought the possessing himself of
this poor woman's money and ring would make him amends for the
additional burthen he was to lay on his conscience.
And here, reader, we must strictly caution thee that thou dost not
take any occasion, from the misbehaviour of such a wretch as this,
to reflect on so worthy and honourable a body of men as are the
officers of our army in general. Thou wilt be pleased to consider that
this fellow, as we have already informed thee, had neither the birth
nor education of a gentleman, nor was a proper person to be enrolled
among the number of such. If, therefore, his baseness can justly
reflect on any besides himself, it must be only on those who gave
him his commission.
BOOK X
IN WHICH THE HISTORY GOES FORWARD ABOUT TWELVE HOURS
Chapter 1
Containing instructions very necessary to be perused by modern
critics
Reader, it is impossible we should know what sort of person thou
wilt be; for, perhaps, thou may'st be as learned in human nature as
Shakespear himself was, and, perhaps, thou may'st be no wiser than
some of his editors. Now, lest this latter should be the case, we
think proper, before we go any farther together, to give thee a few
wholesome admonitions; that thou may'st not as grossly misunderstand
and misrepresent us, as some of the said editors have misunderstood
and misrepresented their author.
First, then, we warn thee not too hastily to condemn any of the
incidents in this our history as impertinent and foreign to our main
design, because thou dost not immediately conceive in what manner such
incident may conduce to that design. This work may, indeed, be
considered as a great creation of our own; and for a little reptile of
a critic to presume to find fault with any of its parts, without
knowing the manner in which the whole is connected, and before he
comes to the final catastrophe, is a most presumptuous absurdity.
The allusion and metaphor we have here made use of, we must
acknowledge to be infinitely too great for our occasion; but there is,
indeed, no other, which is at all adequate to express the difference
between an author of the first rate and a critic of the lowest.
Another caution we would give thee, my good reptile, is, that thou
dost not find out too near a resemblance between certain characters
here introduced; as, for instance, between the landlady who appears in
the seventh book and her in the ninth. Thou art to know, friend,
that there are certain characteristics in which most individuals of
every profession and occupation agree. To be able to preserve these
characteristics, and at the same time to diversify their operations,
is one talent of a good writer. Again, to mark the nice distinction
between two persons actuated by the same vice or folly is another;
and, as this last talent is found in very few writers, so is the
true discernment of it found in as few readers; though, I believe, the
observation of this forms a very principal pleasure in those who are
capable of the discovery; every person, for instance, can
distinguish between Sir Epicure Mammon and Sir Fopling Flutter; but to
note the difference between Sir Fopling Flutter and Sir Courtly Nice
requires a more exquisite judgment: for want of which, vulgar
spectators of plays very often do great injustice in the theatre;
where I have sometimes known a poet in danger of being convicted as
a thief, upon much worse evidence than the resemblance of hands hath
been held to be in the law. In reality, I apprehend every amorous
widow on the stage would run the hazard of being condemned as a
servile imitation of Dido, but that happily very few of our play-house
critics understand enough of Latin to read Virgil.
In the next place, we must admonish thee, my worthy friend (for,
perhaps, thy heart may be better than thy head), not to condemn a
character as a bad one, because it is not perfectly a good one. If
thou dost delight in these models of perfection, there are books
enow written to gratify thy taste; but, as we have not, in the
course of our conversation, ever happened to meet with any such
