admire, but some were able to celebrate the beauty they admired, and
all to judge of the merit of such compositions.
Such, therefore, were properly called the men of wit and pleasure;
but I question whether the same appellation may, with the same
propriety, be given to those young gentlemen of our times, who have
the same ambition to be distinguished for parts. Wit certainly they
have nothing to do with. To give them their due, they soar a step
higher than their predecessors, and may be called men of wisdom and
vertu (take heed you do not read virtue). Thus at an age when the
gentlemen above mentioned employ their time in toasting the charms
of a woman, or in making sonnets in her praise; in giving their
opinion of a play at the theatre, or of a poem at Will's or
Button's; these gentlemen are considering the methods to bribe a
corporation, or meditating speeches for the House of Commons, or
rather for the magazines. But the science of gaming is that which
above all others employs their thoughts. These are the studies of
their graver hours, while for their amusements they have the vast
circle of connoisseurship, painting, music, statuary, and natural
philosophy, or rather unnatural, which deals in the wonderful, and
knows nothing of Nature, except her monsters and imperfections.
When Jones had spent the whole day in vain inquiries after Mrs.
Fitzpatrick, he returned at last disconsolate to his apartment.
Here, while he was venting his grief in private, he heard a violent
uproar below-stairs; and soon after a female voice begged him for
heaven's sake to come and prevent murder. Jones, who was never
backward on any occasion to help the distressed, immediately ran
downstairs; when stepping into the dining-room, whence all the noise
issued, he beheld the young gentleman of wisdom and vertu just
before mentioned, pinned close to the wall by his footman, and a young
woman standing by, wringing her hands, and crying out, "He will be
murdered! he will be murdered!" and, indeed, the poor gentleman seemed
in some danger of being choaked, when Jones flew hastily to his
assistance, and rescued him, just as he was breathing his last, from
the unmerciful clutches of the enemy.
Though the fellow had received several kicks and cuffs from the
little gentleman, who had more spirit than strength, he had made it
a kind of scruple of conscience to strike his master, and would have
contented himself with only choaking him; but towards Jones he bore no
such respect: he no sooner therefore found himself a little roughly
handled by his new antagonist, than he gave him one of those punches
in the guts which, though the spectators at Broughton's amphitheatre
have such exquisite delight in seeing them, convey but very little
pleasure in the feeling.
The lusty youth had no sooner received this blow, than he
meditated a most grateful return; and now ensued a combat between
Jones and the footman, which was very fierce, but short; for this
fellow was no more able to contend with Jones than his master had
before been to contend with him.
And now, Fortune, according to her usual custom, reversed the face
of affairs. The former victor lay breathless on the ground, and the
vanquished gentleman had recovered breath enough to thank Mr. Jones
for his seasonable assistance; he received likewise the hearty
thanks of the young woman present, who was indeed no other than Miss
Nancy, the eldest daughter of the house.
The footman, having now recovered his legs, shook his head at Jones,
and, with a sagacious look, cried- "O d--n me, I'll have nothing more
to do with you; you have been upon the stage, or I'm d--nably
mistaken." And indeed we may forgive this his suspicion; for such was
the agility and strength of our heroe, that he was, perhaps, a match
for one of the first-rate boxers, and could, with great ease, have
beaten all the muffled* graduates of Mr. Broughton's school.
*Lest posterity should be puzzled by this epithet, I think proper to
explain it by an advertisement which was published Feb. 1, 1747.
N.B.- Mr. Broughton proposes, with proper assistance, to open an
academy at his house in the Haymarket, for the instruction of those
who are willing to be initiated in the mystery of boxing: where the
whole theory and practice of that truly British art, with all the
various stops, blows, cross-buttocks, &c., incident to combatants,
will be fully taught and explained; and that persons of quality and
distinction may not be deterred from entering into A course of those
lectures, they will be given with the utmost tenderness and regard
to the delicacy of the frame and constitution of the pupil, for
which reason muffles are provided, that will effectually secure them
from the inconveniency of black eyes, broken jaws, and bloody noses.
The master, foaming with wrath, ordered his man immediately to
strip, to which the latter very readily agreed, on condition of
receiving his wages. This condition was presently complied with, and
the fellow was discharged.
And now the young gentleman, whose name was Nightingale, very
strenuously insisted that his deliverer should take part of a bottle
of wine with him; to which Jones, after much entreaty, consented,
though more out of complacence than inclination; for the uneasiness of
his mind fitted him very little for conversation at this time. Miss
Nancy likewise, who was the only female then in the house, her mamma
and sister being both gone to the play, condescended to favour them
with her company.
When the bottle and glasses were on the table, the gentleman began
to relate the occasion of the preceding disturbance.
"I hope, sir," said he to Jones, "you will not from this accident
conclude, that I make a custom of striking my servants, for I assure
you this is the first time I have been guilty of it in my remembrance,
and I have passed by many provoking faults in this very fellow, before
he could provoke me to it; but when you hear what hath happened this
evening, you will, I believe, think me excusable. I happened to come
home several hours before my usual time, when I found four gentlemen
of the cloth at whist by my fire;- and my Hoyle, sir- my best Hoyle,
which cost me a guinea, lying open on the table, with a quantity of
porter spilt on one of the most material leaves of the whole book.
This, you will allow, was provoking; but I said nothing till the
rest of the honest company were gone, and then gave the fellow a
gentle rebuke, who, instead of expressing any concern, made me a
pert answer, 'That servants must have their diversions as well as
other people; that he was sorry for the accident which had happened to
the book, but that several of his acquaintance had bought the same for
a shilling, and that I might stop as much in his wages, if I pleased.'
I now gave him a severer reprimand than before, when the rascal had
the insolence to-- In short, he imputed my early coming home to-- In
short, he cast a reflection-- He mentioned the name of a young lady,
in a manner- in such a manner that incensed me beyond all patience,
and, in my passion, I struck him."
Jones answered, "That he believed no person living would blame
him; for my part," said he, "I confess I should, on the last-mentioned
provocation, have done the same thing."
Our company had not sat long before they were joined by the mother
and daughter, at their return from the play. And now they all spent
a very chearful evening together; for all but Jones were heartily
merry, and even he put on as much constrained mirth as possible.
indeed, half his natural flow of animal spirits, joined to the
sweetness of his temper, was sufficient to make a most amiable
companion; and notwithstanding the heaviness of his heart, so
agreeable did he make himself on the present occasion, that, at
their breaking up, the young gentleman earnestly desired his further
acquaintance. Miss Nancy was well pleased with him; and the widow,
quite charmed with her new lodger, invited him, with the other, next
morning to breakfast.
Jones on his part was no less satisfied. As for Miss Nancy, though a
very little creature, she was extremely pretty, and the widow had
all the charms which can adorn a woman near fifty. As she was one of
the most innocent creatures in the world, so she was one of the most
chearful. She never thought, nor spoke, nor wished any ill, and had
constantly that desire of pleasing, which may be called the happiest
of all desires in this, that it scarce ever fails of attaining its
ends, when not disgraced by affectation. In short, though her power
was very small, she was in her heart one of the warmest friends. She
had been a most affectionate wife, and was a most fond and tender
mother. As our history doth not, like a newspaper, give great
characters to people who never were heard of before, nor will ever
be heard of again, the reader may hence conclude, that this
excellent woman will hereafter appear to be of some importance in
our history.
Nor was Jones a little pleased with the young gentleman himself,
whose wine he had been drinking. He thought he discerned in him much
good sense, though a little too much tainted with town-foppery; but
what recommended him most to Jones were some sentiments of great
generosity and humanity, which occasionally dropt from him; and
particularly many expressions of the highest disinterestedness in
the affair of love. On which subject the young gentleman delivered
himself in a language which might have very well become an Arcadian
shepherd of old, and which appeared very extraordinary when proceeding
from the lips of a modern fine gentleman; but he was only one by
imitation, and meant by nature for a much better character.
Chapter 6
What arrived while the company were at breakfast, with some hints
concerning the government of daughters
Our company brought together in the morning the same good
inclinations towards each other, with which they had separated the
evening before; but poor Jones was extremely disconsolate; for he
had just received information from Partridge, that Mrs. Fitzpatrick
had left her lodging, and that he could not learn whither she was
gone. This news highly afflicted him, and his countenance, as well
as his behaviour, in defiance of all his endeavours to the contrary,
betrayed manifest indications of a disordered mind.
The discourse turned at present, as before, on love; and Mr.
Nightingale again expressed many of those warm, generous, and
disinterested sentiments upon this subject, which wise and sober men
call romantic, but which wise and sober women generally regard in a
better light. Mrs. Miller (for so the mistress of the house was
called) greatly approved these sentiments; but when the young
gentleman appealed to Miss Nancy, she answered only, "That she
believed the gentleman who had spoke the least was capable of
feeling most."
This compliment was so apparently directed to Jones, that we
should have been sorry had he passed it by unregarded. He made her
indeed a very polite answer, and concluded with an oblique hint,
that her own silence subjected to a suspicion of the same kind: for
indeed she had scarce opened her lips either now or the last evening.
"I am glad, Nanny," says Mrs. Miller, "the gentleman hath made the
observation; I protest I am almost of his opinion. What can be the
matter with you, child? I never saw such an alteration. What is become
of all your gaiety? Would you think, sir, I used to call her my little
pratler? She hath not spoke twenty words this week."
Here their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of a
maid-servant, who brought a bundle in her hand, which, she said,
"was delivered by a porter for Mr. Jones." She added, "That the man
immediately went away, saying, it required no answer."
Jones expressed some surprize on this occasion, and declared it must
be some mistake; but the maid persisting that she was certain of the
name, all the women were desirous of having the bundle immediately
opened; which operation was at length performed by little Betsy,
with the consent of Mr. Jones: and the contents were found to be a
domino, a mask, and a masquerade ticket.
Jones was now more positive than ever in asserting, that these
things must have been delivered by mistake; and Mrs. Miller herself
expressed some doubt, and said, "She knew not what to think." But when
Mr. Nightingale was asked, he delivered a very different opinion. "All
I can conclude from it, sir," said he, "is, that you are a very
happy man; for I make no doubt but these were sent you by some lady
whom you will have the happiness of meeting at the masquerade."
Jones had not a sufficient degree of vanity to entertain any such
flattering imagination; nor did Mrs. Miller herself give much assent
to what Mr. Nightingale had said, till Miss Nancy having lifted up the
domino, a card dropt from the sleeve; in which was written as
follows:-
TO MR. JONES
The queen of the fairies sends you this;
Use her favours not amiss.
Mrs. Miller and Miss Nancy now both agreed with Mr. Nightingale;
nay, Jones himself was almost persuaded to be of the same opinion. And
as no other lady but Mrs. Fitzpatrick, he thought, knew his lodging,
he began to flatter himself with some hopes, that it came from her,
and that he might possibly see his Sophia. These hopes had surely very
little foundation; but as the conduct of Mrs. Fitzpatrick, in not
seeing him according to her promise, and in quitting her lodgings, had
been very odd and unaccountable, he conceived some faint hopes, that
she (of whom he had formerly heard a very whimsical character) might
possibly intend to do him that service in a strange manner, which
she declined doing by more ordinary methods. To say the truth, as
nothing certain could be concluded from so odd and uncommon an
