苏刚拉起另一间卧室的门搭子，一阵晕，一屁股坐到了门外地上。她又站起来，然后把门开了一半，说了声“里查”；话一出口，显然浑身哆嗦了一下。
鼾声停了一阵子，可是他没答话。苏似乎心放下来了，赶忙回到艾林太太的卧室。“你睡啦，艾林太太？”她问。
“还没呢，亲爱的，”寡妇说，把门开了。“老啦，手脚不灵便啦，光脱衣服就得老半天。我紧身还没解开呢。”
“我——没听见他说话！也许——也许——”
“也许什么，孩子？”
“也许死了吧！”她上气不接下气地说。“那一来——我可就解脱啦，我就能上裘德那儿去啦！……唉——不行啊——我把她给忘啦——把上帝给忘啦！”
“咱们听听去吧。不对——他还打呼噜呢。不过风大、雨大。唿啦唿啦的，两下搀合到一块儿，你就不大听得出来了。”
苏勉勉强强地往后退。“艾林太太，我再道声晚安。又把你叫出来，太对不起啦。”寡妇第二次回到屋里。
苏一个人的时候，脸上又恢复了极为紧张、一拼到底的神情。“我不这样不行——不这样不行！我不喝完这苦酒决不行。”她小声说。“里查！”她又喊了声。
“哎——什么？是你吗，苏珊娜？”
“是我。”
“你要干什么？有事吗？等一下。”他顺手抄起一件衣服穿上，走到门口。“有事吗？”
“从前咱们住在沙氏顿的时候，我不想让你沾我，我宁可跳楼。到这会儿，我还是这么对你，没变过来——我现在来是为了前边的事求你原谅，求你让我进屋里去。”
“你大概是一时间想到该这样办吧？我早说过了，我并不想让你拗着本心上我这儿来。”
“可我这是来求你让我进去。”她稍停了停，又说了一遍。“我这是来求你让我进去！我错到如今了——何况今天又做了错事。我越轨啦。我本来不打算跟你说，但是我还是得说。今天下午，我做了对不起你的事。”
“怎么啦？”
“我见到裘德啦！我原先不知道他要到这儿来。还——”
“呃？”
“我吻了他，还让他吻了我。”
“哦——老戏一出嘛！”
“里查，我怎么也没想到我跟他会接吻，后来可真这样啦！”
“吻了多少回？”
“好多好多回。我也搞不清了。我回头再一想，真是毛骨悚然。事情一过去，我起码得像现在这样上你这儿来。”
“唉——我总算尽力而为，对得起你了，这一来就太不成话啦！还有什么要坦白吗？”
“没啦！”她心里一直想说“我还叫他亲爱的情人来着”。可是她也跟那种悔罪的女人一样，总是留一手，并没把这部分真情道出来。她接着说，“往后我是绝对不再见他了。他提到些从前的事情，我就把持不住了。他提到——孩子。不过，我以前说过了，他们死了，我倒高兴——我意思是简直有点高兴，里查。因为那么一来，我那段生活就给抹掉啦！”
“呃——往后不再见他。哈——你真有这个意思？”费乐生这会儿说话的口气多少流露出不满，因为他感到同她再次结婚以来三个月，他这么宽宏大量，或者说抑情制欲，并没得到好报。
“是这个意思，是这个意思！”
“恐怕你得按着《新约》立誓，行不行？”
“我立誓。”
他回身进了屋子，又拿着一本棕皮小本《新约》出来。“现在立吧：愿上帝助你！”
她立了誓。
“很好！”
“照我从前结婚起的誓，里查，我属于你，我愿敬重你、服从你，现在我恳求你让我进去。”
“你得好好考虑考虑。这样做有什么意义，你不是不知道。我要你回这个家是一码事——可叫你进来又另一码事。所以你还是想想吧。”
“我想过了——我就想这样！”
“这倒是一心讨人喜欢喽——说不定你做对了。有个情人老在旁边打转转，半拉个婚姻成什么话，总得地地道道、圆圆满满才成哪。不过我还是得提醒你，这是第三次，也是最后一次。”
“这是我心甘情愿！……哦，上帝哟！”
“你干吗说“我，上帝哟！’？”
“我不知道！”
“你就是知道！不过……”她穿着睡衣，在他面前蜷缩着，他阴沉地审视她那纤弱的身形。“呃，我也想过，事情大概是这么个结局。”他随即这样说。“在你种种表现之后，我是不欠你什么情了。不过你说了这些话，我还是要信你的，而且原谅你。”
他抱住她，把她举高。苏吓得一缩。
“怎么回事？”他头一回疾颜厉色地说话。“你还是躲我？——跟从前一样？”
“不是，里查——我——我——没想到——”
“你不是自愿上我这儿来吗？”
“是。
“你没忘这样做有什么意义吗？”
“没忘。这是我的本分。”
他把烛台放在五斗橱上，带着她穿过门廊，把她举高了，吻她。她脸上立刻冒出来极为厌恶的表情，但是她咬紧牙关，一声没吭。
艾林太太此刻已脱了衣服，就要上床睡了。她自言自语：“啊——也许我顶好还是看看这小东西怎么样啦。风多大，雨多大哟！”
寡妇出了屋子，走到楼梯平台，一看苏已不在。“唉，可怜的乖乖呀！我看这年头婚礼成了丧礼啦！一到秋天，我跟我那口子结婚就五十五年啦！打那时候，世道人心可大变啦！”
Part 6 Chapter 10
DESPITE himself Jude recovered somewhat, and worked at his trade for several weeks. After Christmas, however, he broke down again.
With the money he had earned he shifted his lodgings to a yet more central part of the town. But Arabella saw that he was not likely to do much work for a long while, and was cross enough at the turn affairs had taken since her remarriage to him. "I'm hanged if you haven't been clever in this last stroke!" she would say, "to get a nurse for nothing by marrying me!"
Jude was absolutely indifferent to what she said, and indeed, often regarded her abuse in a humorous light. Sometimes his mood was more earnest, and as he lay he often rambled on upon the defeat of his early aims.
"Every man has some little power in some one direction," he would say. "I was never really stout enough for the stone trade, particularly the fixing. Moving the blocks always used to strain me, and standing the trying draughts in buildings before the windows are in always gave me colds, and I think that began the mischief inside. But I felt I could do one thing if I had the opportunity. I could accumulate ideas, and impart them to others. I wonder if the founders had such as I in their minds--a fellow good for nothing else but that particular thing? ... I hear that soon there is going to be a better chance for such helpless students as I was. There are schemes afoot for making the university less exclusive, and extending its influence. I don't know much about it. And it is too late, too late for me! Ah--and for how many worthier ones before me!"
"How you keep a-mumbling!" said Arabella. "I should have thought you'd have got over all that craze about books by this time. And so you would, if you'd had any sense to begin with. You are as bad now as when we were first married."
On one occasion while soliloquizing thus he called her "Sue" unconsciously.
"I wish you'd mind who you are talking to!" said Arabella indignantly. "Calling a respectable married woman by the name of that--" She remembered herself and he did not catch the word.
But in the course of time, when she saw how things were going, and how very little she had to fear from Sue's rivalry, she had a fit of generosity. "I suppose you want to see your--Sue?" she said. "Well, I don't mind her coming. You can have her here if you like."
"I don't wish to see her again."
"Oh--that's a change!"
"And don't tell her anything about me--that I'm ill, or anything. She has chosen her course. Let her go!"
One day he received a surprise. Mrs. Edlin came to see him, quite on her own account. Jude's wife, whose feelings as to where his affections were centred had reached absolute indifference by this time, went out, leaving the old woman alone with Jude. He impulsively asked how Sue was, and then said bluntly, remembering what Sue had told him: "I suppose they are still only husband and wife in name?"
Mrs. Edlin hesitated. "Well, no--it's different now. She's begun it quite lately--all of her own free will."
"When did she begin?" he asked quickly.
"The night after you came. But as a punishment to her poor self. He didn't wish it, but she insisted."
"Sue, my Sue--you darling fool--this is almost more than I can endure! ... Mrs. Edlin--don't be frightened at my rambling-- I've got to talk to myself lying here so many hours alone-- she was once a woman whose intellect was to mine like a star to a benzoline lamp: who saw all MY superstitions as cobwebs that she could brush away with a word. Then bitter affliction came to us, and her intellect broke, and she veered round to darkness. Strange difference of sex, that time and circumstance, which enlarge the views of most men, narrow the views of women almost invariably. And now the ultimate horror has come--her giving herself like this to what she loathes, in her enslavement to forms! She, so sensitive, so shrinking, that the very wind seemed to blow on her with a touch of deference.... As for Sue and me when we were at our own best, long ago--when our minds were clear, and our love of truth fearless--the time was not ripe for us! Our ideas were fifty years too soon to be any good to us. And so the resistance they met with brought reaction in her, and recklessness and ruin on me! ... There--this, Mrs. Edlin, is how I go on to myself continually, as I lie here. I must be boring you awfully."
"Not at all, my dear boy. I could hearken to 'ee all day."
As Jude reflected more and more on her news, and grew more restless, he began in his mental agony to use terribly profane language about social conventions, which started a fit of coughing. Presently there came a knock at the door downstairs. As nobody answered it Mrs. Edlin herself went down.
The visitor said blandly: "The doctor." The lanky form was that of Physician Vilbert, who had been called in by Arabella.
"How is my patient at present?" asked the physician.
"Oh bad--very bad! Poor chap, he got excited, and do blaspeam terribly, since I let out some gossip by accident--the more to my blame. But there-- you must excuse a man in suffering for what he says, and I hope God will forgive him."
"Ah. I'll go up and see him. Mrs. Fawley at home?"
"She's not in at present, but she'll be here soon."
Vilbert went; but though Jude had hitherto taken the medicines of that skilful practitioner with the greatest indifference whenever poured down his throat by Arabella, he was now so brought to bay by events that he vented his opinion of Vilbert in the physician's face, and so forcibly, and with such striking epithets, that Vilbert soon scurried downstairs again. At the door he met Arabella, Mrs. Edlin having left. Arabella inquired how he thought her husband was now, and seeing that the doctor looked ruffled, asked him to take something. He assented.
"I'll bring it to you here in the passage," she said. "There's nobody but me about the house to-day."
She brought him a bottle and a glass, and he drank.
Arabella began shaking with suppressed laughter. "What is this, my dear?" he asked, smacking his lips.
"Oh--a drop of wine--and something in it." Laughing again she said: "I poured your own love-philtre into it, that you sold me at the agricultural show, don't you re-member?"
"I do, I do! Clever woman! But you must be prepared for the consequences." Putting his arm round her shoulders he kissed her there and then.
"Don't don't," she whispered, laughing good-humouredly. "My man will hear."
She let him out of the house, and as she went back she said to herself: "Well! Weak women must provide for a rainy day. And if my poor fellow upstairs do go off--as I suppose he will soon-- it's well to keep chances open. And I can't pick and choose now as I could when I was younger. And one must take the old if one can't get the young."
尽管裘德不想活下去，但是他身体却有几分起色，还干了几个礼拜老本行的活。不想圣诞节一过，他又病情恶化，卧床不起。
他用干活赚的钱，搬到离城中心更近的地方。但是阿拉贝拉已经心中有数，他不大可能再干多少活，就算干，也长不了。她因为跟他第二次结婚之后事事不遂心，就没碴找碴，拿他出气。“你最后玩的这一手，要是不算精，那我才该死呢！”她常常说。“你凭娶了我，一个子儿不花，就弄到个护士啦！”
随她怎么说，裘德一概充耳不闻，时常拿她的诡淬开心解闷。有时他的态度郑重点，就躺在床上，絮絮叨叨谈自己如何少年立志，一事无成，话里不胜牢骚。
“不论谁，总是某个方面有点小聪明。”他常常说。“要说我干石作这行，实在压根儿没那个笨力气，特别遇到安装的时候不行。搬呀抬呀，大块石头，老是累得要命；窗子没装好，我人就站在飕飕的风口上，老是着凉，我想我这病就是那么作下的。可是，要是有机会，有件事我能干得很好。在思想方面，我能积少成多，有独到地方，还能把思想传布给别人。我不知道那些创建学院的人想没想到世上还有我这号人——这家伙别的不行，可另有专长哪！我听说，不用多久，我这样得不到帮助的学生就有好点的机会了。说是有些方案订出来了，以后大学就不那么保守封闭了，要把它的影响扩大了。究竟如何，我还不得而知。再说，就算这样，拿我说，也太晚、太晚啦！啊——在我前头还有那么多比我更有价值的人哪，对他们来说不是更晚了吗！”
“你干吗老这么碎嘴子！”阿拉贝拉说。“到了这地步，我还当你的书迷全吹了呢。你要是一上来就懂得人情世故，你早就不这样了。我看你这会儿没出息的样儿，跟咱们头回结婚那会儿没两样。”
有一回，他这样念念有辞的时候，无意中管她叫“苏”。
“你难道不明白你这是跟谁说话！”阿拉贝拉愤愤不平地说。“把明媒正娶的夫人，居然叫出来那个——”她想起来上回那一幕，没说出口，所以他也没抓住她的话把子。
但是一天天过去，她对于大势所趋，已经了然于胸，犯不上再为苏这个情敌耗费心思，于是她装出度量大的样子。“我看你还是想见你的——苏吧？”她说。“哎，我一点不在乎她来不来。你要想见她，就在家里见她好啦。”
“我不想再见她。”
“哦——这倒是人心大变喽！”
“你也用不着告诉她我怎么的——用不着说我病了什么的。她走了自己选的路。随她去吧。”
有一天，大出他的意料，艾林太太完全主动来探望他。裘德妻子既然明知他情爱所钟，对此已经装聋做哑，所以就让老太婆一个人跟裘德呆着，自己到外面去了。他感情冲动地问起苏的境况，因为还记得苏以前对他说的话，也就毫不假借地说，“我看他们俩还是挂名夫妻吧。”
艾林太太沉吟了一下。“呃——不这样啦，这会儿不一样啦。她也是新近才那么样——这全是她自个儿做主，没人逼她。”
“她打哪天才那样儿呢？”他追着问。
“就打你来的那晚上。不过她那么样，无非自个儿整自个儿这个苦命人。他并不想那么样，可她非要依着她不可。”
“苏啊，我的苏啊——我的可怜的糊涂虫啊，你这样，叫我怎么受得了！……艾林太太——我唠里唠叨，你可别怕——我在这儿就是得自言自语，一说就几个钟头 ——她先前是个有灵性的女人，跟我比，就像星星比电石灯，她看我所有迷信的东西好比蜘蛛网，她一句话就能把它们一扫而光了。后来我们经受了深重的苦难，把她的灵性给毁了，她思路一转，就掉到黑暗里头了。性别之间的差异够多怪，一样的时间和环境，叫大多数男人眼界扩大了，可叫女人的眼界几乎是毫无例外地缩小了。最后就出了现在这样骇人听闻的事情——她现在居然以甘心受奴役的形式，不惜对自己原来憎恶的东西屈膝投降。她多敏感，多爱难为情，哪怕风吹到她身上，好像也觉得唐突啊。至于苏跟我，早先我们过得顶美满的时候——我们的思想明朗清澈，我们对真理倾心，无所畏惧，可是就时代而言，临到我们身上，还没成熟呢。我们的思想跑得太快，早了五十年，这对我们只能有害无益。而这些思想遭遇的打击也就在她的内心里发生了负作用，而我呢，却是一意孤行，一毁到底！唉 ——艾林太太，我就是躺在这儿自说自话，这么没完没了的。我一定叫你听腻啦。”
“一点都不腻，我的亲爱的孩子。你就是一天说到晚，我也听不腻。”
裘德越细想她的境况，就越心烦意乱。内心的痛楚使他忍不住角恶毒的语言痛斥社会的习俗礼法，这又弄得他咳嗽好一阵。正巧楼下有人敲门。艾林太太因为没人答理，自己就下楼去招呼。
来客礼貌周全地说：“大夫到啦。”原来这个瘦高个儿是韦伯大夫，阿拉贝拉把他请来的。
“这会儿病人怎么样？”大夫问。
“哦，不好——不大好！可怜的家伙，他激动了，狠话说得不得了，因为我无意中说了点闲话——都怪我就是啦。不过——一个活受罪的人无论说什么，你总不该计较，我希望上帝宽恕他。”
“哦，我上去瞧瞧他吧。福来太太在家吗？”
“这会儿不在，快回来了啦。”
韦伯进去了。虽说不论什么时候阿拉贝拉往裘德嘴里灌那个滑头卖膏药的造的假药，他都当没事一样吞下去，可是这会儿他已经让接二连三的祸事逼到了绝境，于是他不管三七二十一，当着大夫的面，大大发泄了一通对他的看法，口气之激烈，措词之尖刻，搞得韦伯灰溜溜，赶快往楼下跑。他在门口正好碰上阿拉贝拉，艾林太太在这时也就走了。阿拉贝拉直问他，他觉着她丈夫怎么样；一看大夫满脸晦气，就说请他喝点。他表示可以。
“我把它拿到过道这儿来。”她说。“家里今儿就剩我了，没别人。”
她给他拿来一个瓶子和一个杯子，他喝下去了。阿拉贝拉忍住笑，可是身上还是直抖动。“这是什么玩意儿呀，我的亲爱的？”他问，直咂嘴。
“哦——一滴酒——里头搀了点东西。”她说，又笑起来：“酒里头放了你自个儿配的春药，你在农业展览会卖给我的，还记得吗？”
“记得，记得！鬼灵精的娘儿们！你可得提防着后劲儿哟。”他搂着她肩膀，拼命亲她。
“不行，不行。”她小声说，开心地笑着。“我男人会听见。”
她把他弄到房子外面去了，回来时候自言自语：“好哇，没个退路的女人总得有备无患才行哪。再说，我家里这个可怜家伙一撒手上了西天——我看是保不住啦，还真得留个后路呢。这会儿我可不好照年轻时候挑挑拣拣啦。要是没法弄上手年轻的，抓到个老的也行嘛。”
Part 6 Chapter 11
THE last pages to which the chronicler of these lives would ask the reader's attention are concerned with the scene in and out of Jude's bedroom when leafy summer came round again.
His face was now so thin that his old friends would hardly have known him. It was afternoon, and Arabella was at the looking-glass curling her hair, which operation she performed by heating an umbrella-stay in the flame of a candle she had lighted, and using it upon the flowing lock. When she had finished this, practised a dimple, and put on her things, she cast her eyes round upon Jude. He seemed to be sleeping, though his position was an elevated one, his malady preventing him lying down.
Arabella, hatted, gloved, and ready, sat down and waited, as if expecting some one to come and take her place as nurse.
Certain sounds from without revealed that the town was in festivity, though little of the festival, whatever it might have been, could be seen here. Bells began to ring, and the notes came into the room through the open window, and travelled round Jude's head in a hum. They made her restless, and at last she said to herself: "Why ever doesn't Father come!"
She looked again at Jude, critically gauged his ebbing life, as she had done so many times during the late months, and glancing at his watch, which was hung up by way of timepiece, rose impatiently. Still he slept, and coming to a resolution she slipped from the room, closed the door noiselessly, and descended the stairs. The house was empty. The attraction which moved Arabella to go abroad had evidently drawn away the other inmates long before.
It was a warm, cloudless, enticing day. She shut the front door, and hastened round into Chief Street, and when near the theatre could hear the notes of the organ, a rehearsal for a coming concert being in progress. She entered under the archway of Oldgate College, where men were putting up awnings round the quadrangle for a ball in the hall that evening. People who had come up from the country for the day were picnicking on the grass, and Arabella walked along the gravel paths and under the aged limes. But finding this place rather dull she returned to the streets, and watched the carriages drawing up for the concert, numerous dons and their wives, and undergraduates with gay female companions, crowding up likewise. When the doors were closed, and the concert began, she moved on.
The powerful notes of that concert rolled forth through the swinging yellow blinds of the open windows, over the housetops, and into the still air of the lanes. They reached so far as to the room in which Jude lay; and it was about this time that his cough began again and awakened him.
As soon as he could speak he murmured, his eyes still closed: "A little water, please."
Nothing but the deserted room received his appeal, and he coughed to exhaustion again--saying still more feebly: "Water--some water--Sue--Arabella!"
