第 6 页

Testing My Mettle①

Thiscantbehappening,Ithought,asMr.R.,solargehehadtoduckhishead②toentertheclassroom,headedstraightformydesk,hisangerevidentbyhisbodylanguageandthesnarlingexpression③onhisface.Everythingseemedtomoveinslowmotion,aseveryoneintheroomheldtheirbreath.IwonderedwhatwouldhappenifIjustboltedoutoftheroom.Howcouldasimplejokewithastudentinmysixthperiodclasshaveledtothisnightmare—anenragedparentstormingintomyclassroomreadytodo...what?Ididntwanttoknow.ThesixthperiodclasswasatalentedgroupofkidswhoweremotivatedandmatureenoughthatIcouldjokearoundwiththemandstillmaintainorderandaccomplishmuchduringclasstime.Aplayfulbutproductiveenvironmentwasstandardoperatingprocedure,andboththestudentsandIworkedhardbutkeptitlightandhadfun.MaryR.wasoneofthebrightestandmostgenialstudentsintheclass.MaryusuallygotstraightAs,sowhenshereceivedaBonaminorassignment,shecametoseemebeforeclass.Mildlyupset,sheapproachedmydesktoinquireabouthergrade.Afteraquickexamination,Iremarkedthatheranswertoquestionnumbertwowasincorrect.Marysaidinaloudvoicethatherfatherhadgivenherthatanswerandhewasnotusuallywrong.Ireadtheansweragainandemphaticallystatedtheanswerwaswrong.Marycameintoclassthenextdayandannouncedtothegroupthatherfatherhadreiterated④thecorrectnessofhisanswerandwasfuriouswithme.Thusbeganadailyteaseroutinethatlastedatleastamonth.EverydayinclassMarywouldteaseabouthowangryherdadwasgettingandthatheexpectedmetobothrectifymyerror⑤andapologize.InthespiritofgoodfunandtocomplywithmyroleinMaryscharade,Iwouldputupmydukesandexclaim,“Tellyourdadtomeetmeafterschoolinthebackparkinglot⑥:MarquisofQueensberryRulesapply.Andnohittingsouthoftheequator.”Marywouldplayfullywarn,“Mydadistough,andheisangry.”TowhichIdreply,“Ivetaughtdriverseducationfortenyears—nothingscaresme.”Thisbanter⑦lastedaboutfourweeksandthenwasforgotten.OpenschoolnightwasaritualIenjoyed.Itwasalwaysfuntoguesswhichstudentsparentswerepresent.Astheeveningprogressed,Iworkedthroughmyscheduleandthesixthperiodparentsfinallycameinfortheirtwentyminuteslot.Unbeknownsttome,Marysdad,Mr.R.,hadnotenteredtheroomwiththeotherparents.Ialsohadnoideathathewassixfeet,teninchestallandweighedabout350pounds.Aboutthreeminutesintomypresentation,thedoorflewopenwithtremendousforce,pushedasidewiththelargesthumanhandIdeverseen.Thegiantattachedtothathandburstintotheroom,saying,“IamMarysdadandIamheretohaveitoutwithyou.”Ashishugeformadvancedtowardme,hesaid,“Thatsright:youandme,oneonone.”Fearpenetratedeveryporeofmybody.⑧Ilookedattheparentssittingnearthefrontoftheroom,strainingtogetfartherbackintheirseats.Theywereclearlynotabouttojumpintotheimpendingmassacre⑨.Isatatmydesk,immobileandspeechless⑩.Then,Mr.R.wasstandingrightnexttomychair,socloseIcouldseethecreasesonhishugehands,andsuddenly...hebentforward,kissedmeonthecheek,andthankedmeformakinghisdaughterlovehistory.Theparentsapplauded,andMr.R.,smilingbroadly,wentandsatatoneofthestudentsdesks.Ihaveoftenwonderedwhethertheparentsapplausewasinappreciationofmyteachingabilities,Mr.R.sexcellentactingjob,orreliefinnotbeingwitnesstoaparentteacherpummeling.—GlennHameroffNotes:①mettle:勇气②...duckhishead:……闪避着低下头③snarlingexpression:狂怒的表情④reiterate:重说,重申⑤...rectifymyerror:……改正我的错误⑥parkinglot:停车场⑦banter:善意的取笑⑧Fear...mybody.恐惧渗透了我的每个毛孔。⑨impendingmassacre:即将到来的灾难⑩Isatatmydesk,immobileandspeechless.我坐在课桌旁，一动不动，张口结舌。crease:皱折pummeling:动手打起来,打斗

命悬一线

这不可能！当R先生这个庞然大物压低了头迈进教室，径直向我走来的时候，我想，这下完了。因为他的行为和他的面部表情都明确传达了他的愤怒。教室里的人大气不敢出一声，屏住呼吸，时间仿佛凝固了。我在想，要是我现在立马冲出教室会是怎样的结果。谁曾想，与一个第六期学员之间的小小笑话会引来今日这遭噩梦——她的父亲怒气冲冲杀入教室要……干什么？我可不想知道！第六期学员是一群机智、激情、成熟的孩子，所以上课时我可以和他们开玩笑，并维持一个很好的课堂秩序让其学有所获。学生们和我都很努力，但是心态很轻松，这样逐渐形成了一个寓教于乐、生动活泼的课堂气氛。玛丽·R是班里最聪明也是最有天分的学生之一。她一直都是得A，但在一次无关紧要的作业中，她得了个B-,上课之前她找了我，很沮丧，问我怎么会得B-,我快速复查了一番，告诉她，第二题做错了。玛丽大声抗议，说是她爸爸教她那样做的，她爸爸可是极少出错的。我再次检查了一下，很肯定地告诉她，她确实做错了。第二天，玛丽走进教室时宣布，她爸爸认为自己的答案才是正确的，而且对我很生气。在接下来的一个月中，这几乎成了每天必谈的笑料。玛丽总会开玩笑似的说起她爸爸是如何地愤怒，并要求我纠正自己的错误，向他赔礼道歉。不过是开个小小玩笑嘛！所以我也乐得配合一下玛丽。我就举起我的拳头，宣战：“告诉你老爸，放学后在后停车场见：必须遵守拳击公平竞争的规则，禁止击打腰带以下部位。”玛丽也会玩笑似的警告我：“我爸很粗鲁，他现在很生气！”我就会回一句：“我都教了十年驾驶了，什么也吓不倒我。”就这样开着玩笑，四个星期后这件事也就被大家淡忘了。转眼到了学校开放之夜，我很喜欢这个，因为猜哪个学生的家长会到场是件很有意思的事儿。那晚一切都有条不紊地进行，我也忙着自己的活儿，最后第六期学员的家长照安排走进教室待20分钟。那时我还不知道玛丽的父亲并没有和其他家长一起走进教室，我更不知道他身高6英尺10英寸，体重约350磅。我讲话开始3分钟后，教室门被一股巨大的力量冲撞开来，这力量来自一只我所见到的最大的手，随后那巨人便冲入教室，说道：“我是玛丽的爸爸，是来跟你算账的。”然后这个大块头走近我，边走边说。“这才像话嘛！你和我，咱俩一对一。”恐惧侵入我的每一个毛孔。我看了一眼坐在教室前排的家长们，他们都尽量向后挪，看来他们是不想搅进这场灾难中。我坐在讲台上，呆若木鸡，张口结舌。R先生已经走到了我的椅子旁边，我都可以清楚看到他那双大手上的皮肤纹路了，突然……他弯下腰来，吻了一下我的脸颊，并感谢我让他女儿喜欢上了历史。家长们都鼓起掌来，R先生也朗声大笑，走到一个课桌前坐了下来。此后，我经常会想，那些家长们鼓掌究竟是对我的教学能力，或R先生高超的表演能力表示赞赏呢，还是为自己不用见证家长与教师之间的流血冲突而感到庆幸。——格勒·哈莫洛夫TheresNoSubstituteWhereareallthesubstituteteachers①?Thesubbingshortageissosevereinsomecitiesthatoffdutypoliceandfirefightersaresometimeshiredtodothejob.Now,thismakessensetome.WhenIgetthecallat6∶00A.M.,Iboltoutofbedlikeitisafivealarmfire.Thedispatcheronthephonesays,“Middleschool.Science.Reportatsevenoclock,today.”“Noproblem,”Isay,droppingthephoneandreachingforthenavybluesuitIcarefullylaidoutthenightbefore.Iloseafewminuteswrestlingsupportpantyhoseovermyknees,buthopetosaveafewbyapplyingmakeupinthecarsrearviewmirrorandbrushingmyteethintheschoolswaterfountain.Thenithitsme:Imnotascienceteacher.IteachEnglish.Ofcourse,thatexcusedidntworklastweekwhentheschoolcalledandaskedmetosubwoodworking.“Sorry,”Itoldthedispatcher,picturingaclassroomfullofthirteenyearoldswearinghockeymasksandwieldingpowersaws.“ImanEnglishteacher.”“Areyoubreathing?”sheasked.“Yes.”“Haveapulse?”“Yes,but...”“Youlldo.”Atthehecticbreakfasttable,myhusbandandtwochildrenaskwhichschoolImassignedto.“Middleschool,”Itellthem,tryingnottonoticethecolordrainingfromtheirfaces.Ireachformybriefcase,whichcontainsasubstituteteachingmanualtitled,EverythingYouAlwaysWantedtoKnowAboutSubbingbutWereAfraidtoAsk,withhelpfulhintslike,“donotsmile;studentswillthinkyoureapushoverorsufferingfromabraininjury.”Mythirdgradergivesmethethumbsup.“Hangtough,Mom.”“Haveyourcellphone?”myhusbandasks.Thekindergartnerhugsmearoundthewaist,depositingsoggyCheeriosalloverthesuit.“Illseeyouthisafternoon,”Ireassurethem,asItrytoextractmyselffrommydaughtersembrace.“Dontgo,Mommy!”shewailsasIraceoutthedoor.EvenakindergartnerknowswhatIminfor.Attheschool,Ifollowthearrowstotheoffice,whereIreceivetheredsubstitutefolderthatcontainsamap,rules,andsixaspirin.IfmydeercaughtintheheadlightsexpressionleavesanyuncertaintyastowhyImthere,theredfolderIcarrydispelsalldoubt.Personally,Ipreferthemoredirectmethod:perhapsascarletletterSorasigntapedtomybackthatreads“KickMe.ImtheSub.”Intheclassroom,Imrelievedtofinddetailedinstructionsontheteachersdesk.Fiveclassesofeighthgraderswillbestudyinghumanreproduction.Ilocatethetextbookandhomeworkassignmentsandhavebeguntowritemynameonthechalkboardwhenithitsme.Humanreproduction?Whynotsomethingsimple,likeflowersormoldspores?Suddenlyfeelingalittlelightheaded,Isitdownandhangmyheadbetweenmyknees.Ifearthatthesupporthosehascutoffcirculationtomybrain.Ifumblefortheredfolder,tossitonthefloor,andpositionmyfaceoveritasIsearchforanimportantemergencyprocedure:howtoobtainasubforthesub.Takingdeepbreaths,Itellmyselfitcouldbeworse,likeastrophysicsorarchery.Afterall,thetopicofreproductionisnttotallyunfamiliar.Iamthefirstofeightsuccessfulreproductionsonmyparentspart.Iveevenmanaged,withalittlehelpfrommyhusband,toreproducetwice,nottomentionmyexpertiseincaringforpetgerbilsthatreproduceonamonthlybasis.Peekingupfromunderneaththedeskasthestudentsfilein,ImencouragedbythethoughtthatIvecomefromalonglineofaccomplishedhumanreproductionandamupforthelessonathand.Inadditiontothosequalifications,Imbreathingandhaveapulse.Aboywithjeanssaggingdownaroundhiskneecapsasks,“Feelingokay,lady?”“Fine,”Iassurehim,“justcheckingmynotes.”Ibegintosuspectthatthiswasaplannedabsenceontheirteacherspart.IpictureMr.ScienceGuykickingbackinsometrendylittlecoffeeshop,sippingcappuccino,listeningtojazz,andcongratulatinghimselfonskippingthesextalk,whilehissubisforcedtostandinfrontofaclassroomfilledwithhyperactivehormonesandsaywordslike“erection”and“gonads.”Ibeginbyreadingtheassignmentoutloud—withexpression.Iputmyheartintoit,turninglessonplansintopoetry.Noonemoves.Theyrequiet,listening.Ifinishandlookup.Silence.Thenithappens,Igetalittletoococky,underestimatetheprecariousnessofmysituation,andI...smile.Immediately,BaggyPantsraiseshishand.“Question?”Iask,pointingtohim,feelingconfidentandincontrol.Grinning,heleansbackinhischairandcasuallytosseshiscommentoutlikeapro:“TheresnothingthisclasscanteachmethatIhaventalreadyseenoncableordonewithJenny.”Anotherbeatofsilence,punctuatedbyagirlsscream(Jenny?),andthenallhellbreaksloose.IhavetoadmireBaggyPantsstiming,honesty,andtheexpedientmannerinwhichheslamdunkstheentireclass.Deflated,Itryinvaintointerestthemincompletingthelesson,buttheyknowthescoreandclaimtheprize—allfortyfiveminutesofit.Whenthedismissalbellfinallyrings,IlookupfrommyrereadingofEverythingYouAlwaysWantedtoKnowAboutSubbing.BaggyPantsisthelastonetofileoutthedoor.Hepausesandsays,“Dontfeelbad,lady,Idontrespectanyauthority.”“Thanks.”IknowacomplimentwhenIhearone.Aspoliceandfirefightersfillinforregularsubstituteteachers,Illbethefirsttowishthemwellandpassonalittlereadingmaterial.ButImafraidthatevensidearmsandriotgearwontimpressalltheBaggyPantsesoftheeducationalsystem.Asforme,IknowIcancountononething:Thephonewillringagaintomorrowmorning.“Highschool.Astrophysics.Reportatsevenayem.”“Astrophysics?Noproblem!”—DawnFitzGeraldNotes:①substituteteacher:代课老师

没人愿意代课

代课教师都到哪儿去了？有些城市里代课教师奇缺，以至于不当班的警察和消防队员有时都被聘请去代课。我觉得出现这种情况是可以理解的。当我早上六点接到电话的时候，好像听到了五级火警马上从床上跳了起来。派遣员在电话中说：“中学，自然科学，今早七点报到。”“没问题。”我说。放下电话我伸手去拿昨晚小心放好的那套蓝色海军服。我花了好几分钟才把连裤袜套上膝盖，不过，我打算到车里用后视镜化一下妆，而刷牙的工作就到学校的喷泉那儿完成，这样就能节省出几分钟时间来。这时候我突然回过神来：我不教自然科学，我是个英语老师啊。当然，上周学校打电话来让我代木工课时，这个借口可没起作用。“抱歉。”我对派遣员说。“我是英语老师。”我的脑海中浮现出这么一个场景：教室里坐满了一群13岁的孩子，个个头戴曲棍球面罩，手握着长锯。“你在呼吸吗？”她问。“是的。”“有脉搏吗？”“有，但是……”“那你可以完成这项工作。”在忙乱的早餐桌上，丈夫和两个孩子问我被派到了什么学校。“中学。”我告诉他们说，尽量不去注意他们逐渐失色的面孔。我伸手去拿公文包，里面有一本代课教师手册，书名叫《代课知识手册——你渴望了解但却不敢问及的点点滴滴》，书中有些有用的小贴士，比如：不要微笑，否则学生们会以为你很容易对付，要不他们就会觉得你脑子有问题。我那就读三年级的宝贝给了我些支持：“对他们严厉点，妈妈。”“带手机了吗？”我丈夫问道。还在上幼儿园的小宝贝搂着我的腰，粘糊糊的饼干弄了我一身。“我下午就回来。”我向他们保证道。说着试图从女儿的拥抱中抽出身来。“妈咪，别走！”当我冲出家门的时候，女儿大哭了起来。看来连一个才上幼儿园的孩子都知道我将面临什么遭遇。到了学校，我沿着箭头的指示方向来到了办公室，收到了一个红色的代课教师文件夹，里面装着一幅地图、几把尺子，还有六片阿司匹林。如果说我不知所措的表情能充分表明我不清楚来这儿的原因的话，我拿着的这个红色文件夹消除了所有的疑虑。就我个人而言，我偏向于更直接点的方式：或许直接印个红色“代”字，或者在我背上贴个标签，写上“踢我一脚吧，我就是代课教师”。在教室的讲台上我发现了具体的讲课指导，这使我松了口气。五个班的八年级学生要上人类生殖课。我找到了教科书和作业安排，开始往黑板上写我的名字。突然一个问题击中了我：人类的繁殖？为什么不是简单一点儿的，比如花的繁殖或是霉菌孢子繁殖？突然，我觉得有点儿头晕，便坐了下来，把头搁在膝间。我担心循环系统已经切断了供向我大脑的给养。我摸索到那个红色文件夹，把它扔到地上，脸紧靠在它的上方，寻找重要的急救措施：如何找个人给代课教师代课。深吸了几口气，我对自己说现在情况还不是最糟的，总比让我教天体物理或是射箭好。毕竟我对人类繁殖还是略知一二。我是父母成功生育的八个孩子中的老大。我还生过两个孩子，当然丈夫也帮了点忙；另外我在照顾宠物沙鼠方面可谓是专家，它们可是一月生产一次。当学生们一个接一个地走进教室时，透过讲台的缝隙，我侧眼看了看他们，心里寻思，我本身就来自于成功的人类繁殖，有资格讲这门课。这给了我些信心。除此之外，我尚能呼吸，脉搏跳动也还算正常。一个男孩问我：“您没事吧，老师？”他的牛仔裤都快掉到膝盖上了。“没事。”我肯定地说。“我只是在查看笔记。”我开始怀疑他们的老师是有意不来的。我想像着他们的自然科学老师在一个时尚的小咖啡馆里正悠然自得地啜着卡布奇诺、听着爵士乐，庆幸自己逃过了讲授有关性知识的尴尬，而此时他的代课教师却被迫站在满屋子荷尔蒙过剩的学生们面前，说着诸如“勃起”、“生殖腺”之类的词。一上课我就大声地读起了课堂任务——带有感情地，将身心投入了进去，把课程计划转变成了诗歌。没有一个人受感动。他们鸦雀无声，静静地听着。我讲完了，抬头看他们。一阵寂静。然后，出事了。我有点太自鸣得意了，低估了形势的危险性，我……微笑了一下。立刻，那个穿牛仔裤的男生举起了手。“有问题吗？”我指向他问道。觉得一切尽在掌握。他咧嘴笑了，身子向后靠在椅背上，像个经验丰富的老手似的漫不经心地抛出了这么一句话：“这个课要教的东西我要么在有线电视上看过了，要么已经与珍妮尝试过了。”又一阵寂静，然后这沉寂被一个女孩的尖叫声打破了，接下来一切都乱了套。我不得不佩服他对于时机的把握，他的诚实以及能够吸引全班注意力的小聪明。我感到一阵灰心丧气。我试图吸引他们的兴趣把课讲完，却都是徒劳，他们知道他们赢了，整节课45分钟都是他们的。当下课铃最终响了的时候，我停下了对《代课知识手册》的重读，抬头看了看，那个男生是最后一个走出教室的。他停了停，对我说：“不要感觉不快，老师，我不尊重任何权威。”“谢谢。”我有迅速识别赞赏的能力。当警察和消防队员填补代课教师的空缺时，我会是第一个祝他们好运的人，并且会递给他们一些阅读材料作参考。不过，即使他们全副武装，恐怕也无法给学校里那些“牛仔裤”们留下什么深刻的印象。对我来说，我知道有一点是可以肯定的，那就是明早电话还会响。“高中，天体物理学，早上七点报到。”“天体物理？没问题!”——道恩·费茨盖尔德

They Wanted to Teach

NathanandRobertwerestudentsofmine.Fortwoyears,Iwastheirmiddleschoolscienceteacherandcoach,andgottoknowthemaswellasanyteachercan.NathanandRobertkneweachotherbutcamefromvastlydifferentbackgrounds.Nathangrewupinawonderfulhome.Bothparentswerestable,collegeeducated,andattentive,andhehadalovelytwinsister.Nathanhadeverythinggoingforhim.Hewashandsome,intelligent,andwelllikedbyeveryonearoundhim.Ontheathleticfieldshelearnedleadership,andNathanwentontobecomethehighschoolsvarsityquarterback.Scholastically,healwaysrankednearthetopofhisclasswithouthavingtostretchhimself.NathanwasadevoutChristian,activeinchurchandyouthfellowshipprograms.IbelieveeveryonesawthebrightfutureawaitingNathan.TheworldextendsawelcomematforkidslikeNathan.Robertgrewupinadysfunctionalhome.Hismotherwasadrugaddictanddealer.Heneversawhisfather,didntevenknowwhohewas.Roberthadnothinggoingforhim.Hewasalwaysintrouble,andbythetimeImethim,hedbeenthrougheveryaspectofoursocialservicessystem.AjudgefromthecitywhereRoberthadlivedpriortohismostrecentoffensesentencedhimtoaruralgrouphomewithinourschooldistrict.Asateacher,Idreadedthekidsfromthegrouphomeattendingschoolalongsideourinnocentandnaiveruralstudents.Thedelinquentswerelikelytosharetheircriminalskillswithourvulnerableyouth,andfightswereinevitablebetweenthedisplacedkidsandthetoughestofthefarmkids.Mostofthecitykidsfailedeveryclassandoftenendedupbeingexpelledwithinweeks.PriorexperiencehaddashedanyhopeofsuccessIonceheldforthesewaywardstudents.ImetNathanunderthebestconditions.Ihadbeenhiredthepreviousyearasarookieteacherbyhisfather,ournewprincipal.NathansdadandIbecamegoodfriends,andwetalkedabouteverything—includingNathansscaryhabitofsleepwalking.Ilearnedheevenwalkedoutside,throughsnow,withoutwaking.Welaughedaboutitthen,butlackinganyknowledgeofhowtosolvetheproblem,weexpressedourhopethathewouldoutgrowit.Nathandidgrowup,thoughnotasbigphysicallyashewouldhaveliked.Butspirituallyandmorally,hegrewintooneofthefinestyoungadultsIveeverknown.ImetRobertundertheworstconditions.Thegrouphomehadahabitofbringingtheirnewestchargesstraightfromthecourthousetotheschoolhouse,andIlookeduponedaytoseetheschoolsecretarystandingatmydoor.AgreasyhairedRobertstoodalongsideherwithhisarmscrossedoverhischest.Theclasswasinthemiddleofatest,soIquietlyshowedRoberttoaseatandsethimupwithatextbookandashortreadingassignment.ThestudentsittingdirectlyinfrontofRoberthadaquestionaboutthetest.WhileIwasbentovertotalkprivatelywiththeotherstudent,Ifeltsomethingtouchmeontheback.JustasIbegantoexplainthetestquestion,Iwaskickedfullforceinthebehind.IwheeledaroundtoseeRobertwearinganeartoearsmileasheglancedaroundtheroomseekingpeerapproval.Hegleefullypointedouttoeveryonethe“KickMe”signhedstuckonmybackmomentsearlier.Theotherstudentssatinstunnedsilencewaitingmyresponse.Theyexpectedmetoblowup.Ididnt.IsharedwitheveryoneaphilosophyIpractice:IfItakethetimetogetintheirfaceandissuealecture,IdosobecauseIfeelthestudentisworthmytimeandenergy.Ontheotherhand,ifyoureexpectingtogetyelledatanddont,beveryworried,becauseIvedecidedyoureunworthy.IreservemyeffortsforthoseIexpectbetterfrom.NostudenthadeverearnedmysealofdisapprovalasquicklyasRoberthad.Withthat,ImademyfirstimpressiononRobert,justasRoberthadmadehisfirstimpressiononme—andIissuedhimafivedaysuspension.Nathan,ontheotherhand,hadtwogreatyearsinmyclassroom.Akindandhoneststudentwhogenuinelycaredabouthiseducation,hisclassmates,andhisteachers,heconsistentlyearnedAsandalwaysreceivedtheattentionofthecutestgirls.IknewNathanwouldsucceedregardlessofwhatIdidashisteacher.Schoolwastooeasyforhim,buthenevercomplained.Hisparentshadraisedhimwell,andhewasachildanyonewouldbehappytoclaimashisorherown.Everyyear,ImeetafewmorekidslikeNathan.Robertstruggledthroughhisfirstyearatmyschool.Imsurehehadbeentomanyothers,giventhathedbouncedbackandforthbetweenhismomanddifferentfosterhomesmostofhislife.Imsurehethoughtthatafterafewmonths,thejudgewouldlethimgohome.Theyalwaysdid.Sixmonthsorayearlater,someanonymousjudgewoulddecidethesekidshadbeenmagicallyhealedandwouldreturntheillpreparedadolescentstothesameenvironmentinwhichtheydfailedtothrivebefore.IdontrememberwhythatdidnthappenthistimeforRobert,andhewaswithusforawhile.Duringhissecondyear,Robertwasdrawntotheathleticfields,andtoparticipateinsports,hehadtopasshisclasses.Onceheappliedhimself,wediscoveredthattherewasabrightyoungmanlurkingbehindthetoughneerdowellfronthehadpresentedearlier.Fromthatpointforward,RobertearnedAsandBs—andmyrespect.Roberttaughtmealotaboutsecondchancesandaboutnevergivinguponanykid.Heprovedhimselftobequiteworthyofmytimeandenergy—andso,Icametorealize,isevery“lostcause”whoentersmyclassroom.ThesummerafterbothRobertandNathangraduatedfrommiddleschool,Iinvitedthemandsomeoftheirfriendsforadayofwaterskiing.Forthelastrunoftheday,NathandrovetheboatwhileRobertandIhoppedontoinnertubesbeingpulledbehind.IwaitedfortherightmomentandthenjumpedfrommytubeontoRobertsback.Shocked,hegraspedontothetubetightly.Iwhisperedinhisear,“Ihaventforgottenyourfirstdayofschool.Idontgetmad.Igeteven!”ThenIwrappedmyarmsaroundhimandtuggeduntilIpulledhimfromthetubeandintothewater.Webothcameupforairlaughingaboutthewrestlingmatchwedjusthadandabouttheincidentthathadbroughtustogethertwoyearsearlier.Notlongafter,ajudgeruledthatitwastimeforRoberttogohome.Robertbalked.Hedidntwanttoreturntoasituationwherehewaslikelytoregress,wherehelackedthesupporttocontinuehissportsactivitiesandacademicachievements.Hedworkedhardtopullhimselfoutofahugerut,andhewasntwillingtothrowhischanceofsuccessaway.Hesuedforemancipationfromhismotherandwon.CounselorsfoundalocalfamilywillingtobeRobertsfosterparents.ThefosterfamilyandRobertgrewtogether,andhecontinuedonhispathtowardbecomingafineadult.Withnewstudentseveryyearneedingmyattention,IlosttouchwithNathanandRobert.Aswithallmypaststudents,Iwatchedthemcompletehighschoolfromadistance.Aftergraduation,Nathanannouncedhisplanstoattendcollegeandbecomeateacher.Noonewassurprised—Nathanhadbeengroomedthroughouthislifetoteachandcoach.However,whenIheardthatRobert,too,hadelectedtobecomeateacher,Iwaspleasantlysurprisedandveryproudofhischoice.Whatafinepairofteachersthosetwowillmake,Ithought.Bothwouldbringfreshenergyandcompassiontoanoccupationwheretheycouldtrulymakeadifference.Theynevergotthatchance.NathanandRobertbothdiedbeforetheycouldfinishcollege.Nathanfellfromathirdstoryfraternityroomwhilesleepwalking.Oh,howIwishIddonemoreyearsearlierwhenhisfatherhadaskedmeforadvice—mayberesearchedthecausesandtreatmentsforchronicsleepwalkers,orencouragedhimtopursuemedicalhelpforNathan.AshorribleasIfeelaboutdoingnothing,IdidntknowthenwhatIknownow—thatsleepwalkingcanbedangerous—andIknowIcantgobackandchangeanything.Robertdiedinasinglecaraccidentwhiledrivinghometoseehisgirlfriend.Shelivedinourschooldistrict,severalhoursfromhiscollegecampus.Itisbelievedhefellasleepatthewheel.EachyearatourschoolwegiveanawardinNathanshonortotheeighthgradestudentwhobestexemplifiesNathanspositivecharacteristics.Thesestudentsareacknowledgedfortheirscholarship,character,citizenship,andschoolspirit.Iserveonthecommitteethatselectsthewinner,andeachyearitgoestoakidjustlikeNathan.Therearealwayslotsofgreatkidsfromgoodfamiliestochoosefrom.AsforRobert,lastIknewhisgravewasstillwithoutamarker.Hismotherrefusedtobuyoracceptdonationsforone.Noawardisgiveninhismemory.ButeachyearIprivatelyseekouttheRobertsinmyclasses—theundiscoveredgemshiddenamongdozensofemotionallyneedystudents.Mostareoutofsyncwithsocietalnorms.Theyweardarkclothes.Theylistentodarkmusic.Theyseedarkfuturesforthemselves.Withafewwellplacedpositivestrokes,afewwillsuddenlyshinelikeneverbefore.Therearetoomanyofthesekids,andtheirnumbersseemtogroweachyear.Duringthosedelicateadolescentyears,theystraddleaprecarious,imaginaryfenceseparatingrightandwrong,goodandbad.Lackingproperguidance,theymakepoorchoices.Ifsomeonedoesntsteadytheirbalanceuntiltheyresmartandsecureenoughtogetoffthefence,welosethem.IvelostmorethanIcaretocount.Eachyear,theNathansinmyclassmakethejobeasier.TheRoberts,thoughfewerinnumber,makemyentirecareerworthwhile.IcryeverytimeIannouncethenameoftherecipientfortheNathanaward.IsmileeverytimeIseeafencewalker,likeRobert,climbdownonhisorherown.ImgladthatwehavesomanyNathanawardnomineeseachyear.Itgivesmehope.ImchallengedbytheincreasingnumberofatriskstudentsIseebeforemeeachyear.IjustwishNathanandRobertwereteachingintheroomsnexttomine.Weneedthem.Imissthem.—TonyPhillips