第 110 页

"Well then, let me tell you, brother," said Sancho, "I haven't gotthe 'Don,' nor has any one of my family ever had it; my name isplain Sancho Panza, and Sancho was my father's name, and Sancho was mygrandfather's and they were all Panzas, without any Dons or Donastacked on; I suspect that in this island there are more Dons thanstones; but never mind; God knows what I mean, and maybe if mygovernment lasts four days I'll weed out these Dons that no doubtare as great a nuisance as the midges, they're so plenty. Let themajordomo go on with his question, and I'll give the best answer Ican, whether the people deplore or not."

At this instant there came into court two old men, one carrying acane by way of a walking-stick, and the one who had no stick said,"Senor, some time ago I lent this good man ten gold-crowns in goldto gratify him and do him a service, on the condition that he was toreturn them to me whenever I should ask for them. A long time passedbefore I asked for them, for I would not put him to any greaterstraits to return them than he was in when I lent them to him; butthinking he was growing careless about payment I asked for them onceand several times; and not only will he not give them back, but hedenies that he owes them, and says I never lent him any such crowns;or if I did, that he repaid them; and I have no witnesses either ofthe loan, or the payment, for he never paid me; I want your worship toput him to his oath, and if he swears he returned them to me I forgivehim the debt here and before God."

"What say you to this, good old man, you with the stick?" saidSancho.

To which the old man replied, "I admit, senor, that he lent themto me; but let your worship lower your staff, and as he leaves it tomy oath, I'll swear that I gave them back, and paid him really andtruly."

The governor lowered the staff, and as he did so the old man who hadthe stick handed it to the other old man to hold for him while heswore, as if he found it in his way; and then laid his hand on thecross of the staff, saying that it was true the ten crowns that weredemanded of him had been lent him; but that he had with his own handgiven them back into the hand of the other, and that he, notrecollecting it, was always asking for them.

Seeing this the great governor asked the creditor what answer he hadto make to what his opponent said. He said that no doubt his debtorhad told the truth, for he believed him to be an honest man and a goodChristian, and he himself must have forgotten when and how he hadgiven him back the crowns; and that from that time forth he would makeno further demand upon him.

The debtor took his stick again, and bowing his head left the court.Observing this, and how, without another word, he made off, andobserving too the resignation of the plaintiff, Sancho buried his headin his bosom and remained for a short space in deep thought, withthe forefinger of his right hand on his brow and nose; then heraised his head and bade them call back the old man with the stick,for he had already taken his departure. They brought him back, andas soon as Sancho saw him he said, "Honest man, give me that stick,for I want it."

"Willingly," said the old man; "here it is senor," and he put itinto his hand.

Sancho took it and, handing it to the other old man, said to him,"Go, and God be with you; for now you are paid."

"I, senor!" returned the old man; "why, is this cane worth tengold-crowns?"

"Yes," said the governor, "or if not I am the greatest dolt in theworld; now you will see whether I have got the headpiece to govern awhole kingdom;" and he ordered the cane to be broken in two, there, inthe presence of all. It was done, and in the middle of it they foundten gold-crowns. All were filled with amazement, and looked upon theirgovernor as another Solomon. They asked him how he had come to theconclusion that the ten crowns were in the cane; he replied, thatobserving how the old man who swore gave the stick to his opponentwhile he was taking the oath, and swore that he had really and trulygiven him the crowns, and how as soon as he had done swearing he askedfor the stick again, it came into his head that the sum demandedmust be inside it; and from this he said it might be seen that Godsometimes guides those who govern in their judgments, even though theymay be fools; besides he had himself heard the curate of his villagemention just such another case, and he had so good a memory, that ifit was not that he forgot everything he wished to remember, therewould not be such a memory in all the island. To conclude, the old menwent off, one crestfallen, and the other in high contentment, allwho were present were astonished, and he who was recording thewords, deeds, and movements of Sancho could not make up his mindwhether he was to look upon him and set him down as a fool or as a manof sense.

As soon as this case was disposed of, there came into court awoman holding on with a tight grip to a man dressed like awell-to-do cattle dealer, and she came forward making a great outcryand exclaiming, "Justice, senor governor, justice! and if I don'tget it on earth I'll go look for it in heaven. Senor governor of mysoul, this wicked man caught me in the middle of the fields here andused my body as if it was an ill-washed rag, and, woe is me! gotfrom me what I had kept these three-and-twenty years and more,defending it against Moors and Christians, natives and strangers;and I always as hard as an oak, and keeping myself as pure as asalamander in the fire, or wool among the brambles, for this goodfellow to come now with clean hands to handle me!"

"It remains to be proved whether this gallant has clean hands ornot," said Sancho; and turning to the man he asked him what he hadto say in answer to the woman's charge.

He all in confusion made answer, "Sirs, I am a poor pig dealer,and this morning I left the village to sell (saving your presence)four pigs, and between dues and cribbings they got out of me littleless than the worth of them. As I was returning to my village I fellin on the road with this good dame, and the devil who makes a coil anda mess out of everything, yoked us together. I paid her fairly, butshe not contented laid hold of me and never let go until she broughtme here; she says I forced her, but she lies by the oath I swear or amready to swear; and this is the whole truth and every particle of it."

The governor on this asked him if he had any money in silver abouthim; he said he had about twenty ducats in a leather purse in hisbosom. The governor bade him take it out and hand it to thecomplainant; he obeyed trembling; the woman took it, and making athousand salaams to all and praying to God for the long life andhealth of the senor governor who had such regard for distressedorphans and virgins, she hurried out of court with the purse graspedin both her hands, first looking, however, to see if the money itcontained was silver.

As soon as she was gone Sancho said to the cattle dealer, whosetears were already starting and whose eyes and heart were followinghis purse, "Good fellow, go after that woman and take the purse fromher, by force even, and come back with it here;" and he did not say itto one who was a fool or deaf, for the man was off like a flash oflightning, and ran to do as he was bid.

All the bystanders waited anxiously to see the end of the case,and presently both man and woman came back at even closer grips thanbefore, she with her petticoat up and the purse in the lap of it,and he struggling hard to take it from her, but all to no purpose,so stout was the woman's defence, she all the while crying out,"Justice from God and the world! see here, senor governor, theshamelessness and boldness of this villain, who in the middle of thetown, in the middle of the street, wanted to take from me the purseyour worship bade him give me."

"And did he take it?" asked the governor.

"Take it!" said the woman; "I'd let my life be taken from mesooner than the purse. A pretty child I'd be! It's another sort of catthey must throw in my face, and not that poor scurvy knave. Pincersand hammers, mallets and chisels would not get it out of my grip;no, nor lions' claws; the soul from out of my body first!"

"She is right," said the man; "I own myself beaten and powerless;I confess I haven't the strength to take it from her;" and he let gohis hold of her.

Upon this the governor said to the woman, "Let me see that purse, myworthy and sturdy friend." She handed it to him at once, and thegovernor returned it to the man, and said to the unforced mistressof force, "Sister, if you had shown as much, or only half as much,spirit and vigour in defending your body as you have shown indefending that purse, the strength of Hercules could not have forcedyou. Be off, and God speed you, and bad luck to you, and don't showyour face in all this island, or within six leagues of it on any side,under pain of two hundred lashes; be off at once, I say, youshameless, cheating shrew."

The woman was cowed and went off disconsolately, hanging her head;and the governor said to the man, "Honest man, go home with yourmoney, and God speed you; and for the future, if you don't want tolose it, see that you don't take it into your head to yoke withanybody." The man thanked him as clumsily as he could and went hisway, and the bystanders were again filled with admiration at their newgovernor's judgments and sentences.

Next, two men, one apparently a farm labourer, and the other atailor, for he had a pair of shears in his hand, presentedthemselves before him, and the tailor said, "Senor governor, thislabourer and I come before your worship by reason of this honest mancoming to my shop yesterday (for saving everybody's presence I'm apassed tailor, God be thanked), and putting a piece of cloth into myhands and asking me, 'Senor, will there be enough in this cloth tomake me a cap?' Measuring the cloth I said there would. He probablysuspected- as I supposed, and I supposed right- that I wanted to stealsome of the cloth, led to think so by his own roguery and the badopinion people have of tailors; and he told me to see if there wouldhe enough for two. I guessed what he would be at, and I said 'yes.'He, still following up his original unworthy notion, went on addingcap after cap, and I 'yes' after 'yes,' until we got as far as five.He has just this moment come for them; I gave them to him, but hewon't pay me for the making; on the contrary, he calls upon me topay him, or else return his cloth."

"Is all this true, brother?" said Sancho.

"Yes," replied the man; "but will your worship make him show thefive caps he has made me?"

"With all my heart," said the tailor; and drawing his hand fromunder his cloak he showed five caps stuck upon the five fingers of it,and said, "there are the caps this good man asks for; and by God andupon my conscience I haven't a scrap of cloth left, and I'll let thework be examined by the inspectors of the trade."

All present laughed at the number of caps and the novelty of thesuit; Sancho set himself to think for a moment, and then said, "Itseems to me that in this case it is not necessary to deliverlong-winded arguments, but only to give off-hand the judgment of anhonest man; and so my decision is that the tailor lose the makingand the labourer the cloth, and that the caps go to the prisoners inthe gaol, and let there be no more about it."

If the previous decision about the cattle dealer's purse excited theadmiration of the bystanders, this provoked their laughter; however,the governor's orders were after all executed. All this, having beentaken down by his chronicler, was at once despatched to the duke,who was looking out for it with great eagerness; and here let us leavethe good Sancho; for his master, sorely troubled in mind byAltisidora's music, has pressing claims upon us now.

CHAPTER XLVI

OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THECOURSE OF THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING

WE left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music ofthe enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bedwith them, and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get amoment's rest, and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them.But as Time is fleet and no obstacle can stay his course, he cameriding on the hours, and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which DonQuixote quitted the soft down, and, nowise slothful, dressed himselfin his chamois suit and put on his travelling boots to hide thedisaster to his stockings. He threw over him his scarlet mantle, puton his head a montera of green velvet trimmed with silver edging,flung across his shoulder the baldric with his good trenchant sword,took up a large rosary that he always carried with him, and with greatsolemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the antechamber where theduke and duchess were already dressed and waiting for him. But as hepassed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other damsel, her friend,were lying in wait for him, and the instant Altisidora saw him shepretended to faint, while her friend caught her in her lap, andbegan hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress.

Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, "I know verywell what this seizure arises from."

"I know not from what," replied the friend, "for Altisidora is thehealthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard hercomplain all the time I have known her. A plague on all theknights-errant in the world, if they be all ungrateful! Go away, SenorDon Quixote; for this poor child will not come to herself again solong as you are here."

To which Don Quixote returned, "Do me the favour, senora, to let alute be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poormaiden to the best of my power; for in the early stages of love aprompt disillusion is an approved remedy;" and with this he retired,so as not to be remarked by any who might see him there.

He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from herswoon, said to her companion, "The lute must be left, for no doubt DonQuixote intends to give us some music; and being his it will not bebad."

They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and ofthe lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure,plotted with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick thatshould be amusing but harmless; and in high glee they waited fornight, which came quickly as the day had come; and as for the day, theduke and duchess spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote.