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"The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters ofduchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coralbeads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am agoverness."

"God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, orknow what you are talking about."

"There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed themthe letters.

The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson andhe regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they hadread, and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa inreply bade them come with her to her house and they would see themessenger, a most elegant youth, who had brought another present whichwas worth as much more. The curate took the coral beads from herneck and examined them again and again, and having satisfied himselfas to their fineness he fell to wondering afresh, and said, "By thegown I wear I don't know what to say or think of these letters andpresents; on the one hand I can see and feel the fineness of thesecoral beads, and on the other I read how a duchess sends to beg fora couple of dozen of acorns."

"Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see themessenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mysterythat has turned up."

They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the pagesifting a little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasherof bacon to be paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and hishandsome apparel pleased them both greatly; and after they had salutedhim courteously, and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news,as well of Don Quixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though theyhad read the letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, theywere still puzzled and could not make out what was meant by Sancho'sgovernment, and above all of an island, when all or most of those inthe Mediterranean belonged to his Majesty.

To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being agovernor there is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island ornot that he governs, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it thatit is a town of more than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to theacorns I may tell you my lady the duchess is so unpretending andunassuming that, not to speak of sending to beg for acorns from apeasant woman, she has been known to send to ask for the loan of acomb from one of her neighbours; for I would have your worships knowthat the ladies of Aragon, though they are just as illustrious, arenot so punctilious and haughty as the Castilian ladies; they treatpeople with greater familiarity."

In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirtfull of eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does myfather wear trunk-hose since he has been governor?"

"I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them."

"Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see myfather in tights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had alonging to see my father in trunk-hose?"

"As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by Godhe is in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the governmentonly lasts him two months more."

The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the pagespoke in a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, andthe hunting suit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown itto them) did away with the impression; and they could not helplaughing at Sanchica's wish, and still more when Teresa said, "Senorcurate, look about if there's anybody here going to Madrid orToledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, a proper fashionable one ofthe best quality; for indeed and indeed I must do honour to myhusband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am put to it and haveto, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world; for she whohas a governor for her husband may very well have one and keep one."

"And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-dayinstead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw meseated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, thatgarlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her easein a coach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through themud, and let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luckto backbiters all over the world; 'let me go warm and the people maylaugh.' Do I say right, mother?"

"To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck,and even more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, mydaughter, he won't stop till he has made me a countess; for to makea beginning is everything in luck; and as I have heard thy good fathersay many a time (for besides being thy father he's the father ofproverbs too), 'When they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; whenthey offer thee a government, take it; when they would give thee acounty, seize it; when they say, "Here, here!" to thee withsomething good, swallow it.' Oh no! go to sleep, and don't answerthe strokes of good fortune and the lucky chances that are knocking atthe door of your house!"

"And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says whenhe sees me holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempenbreeches,' and the rest of it?"

Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this familyof the Panzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides,every one of them; I never saw one of them that does not pour them outat all times and on all occasions."

"That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho uttersthem at every turn; and though a great many of them are not to thepurpose, still they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the dukepraise them highly."

"Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's governmentis true, senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is aduchess who sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, althoughwe have handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it andsuspect it to be something in the line of our fellow-townsman DonQuixote, who fancies that everything is done by enchantment; and forthis reason I am almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feelyour worship to see whether you are a mere ambassador of theimagination or a man of flesh and blood."

"All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a realambassador, and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter offact, and that my lord and lady the duke and duchess can give, andhave given him this same government, and that I have heard the saidSancho Panza bears himself very stoutly therein; whether there beany enchantment in all this or not, it is for your worships to settlebetween you; for that's all I know by the oath I swear, and that is bythe life of my parents whom I have still alive, and love dearly."

"It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus."

"Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth,and that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if notoperibus credite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and hewill see with his eyes what he does not believe with his ears."

"It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you,senor, behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart tosee my father."

"Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along theroads alone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great numberof attendants."

"By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-assas in a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!"

"Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talkingabout; the gentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so thebehaviour;' when it was Sancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governorit's 'senora;' I don't know if I'm right."

"Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page;"and now give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean toreturn this evening."

"Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "forSenora Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest."

The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; andthe curate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have anopportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and hisdoings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa;but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for shethought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and acouple of eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote forher two letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess,dictated out of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in thisgreat history, as will be seen farther on.

CHAPTER LI

OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCHENTERTAINING MATTERS

DAY came after the night of the governor's round; a night whichthe head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of theface and air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomospent what was left of it in writing an account to his lord and ladyof all Sancho said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings asat his doings, for there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity inall his words and deeds. The senor governor got up, and by DoctorPedro Recio's directions they made him break his fast on a littleconserve and four sups of cold water, which Sancho would havereadily exchanged for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes; butseeing there was no help for it, he submitted with no little sorrow ofheart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having persuaded him thatlight and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that was what was mostessential for persons placed in command and in responsible situations,where they have to employ not only the bodily powers but those ofthe mind also.

By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, andhunger so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and evenhim who had given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conservehe undertook to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing thatcame before him was a question that was submitted to him by astranger, in the presence of the majordomo and the other attendants,and it was in these words: "Senor, a large river separated twodistricts of one and the same lordship- will your worship please topay attention, for the case is an important and a rather knotty one?Well then, on this river there was a bridge, and at one end of it agallows, and a sort of tribunal, where four judges commonly sat toadminister the law which the lord of river, bridge and the lordshiphad enacted, and which was to this effect, 'If anyone crosses bythis bridge from one side to the other he shall declare on oathwhere he is going to and with what object; and if he swears truly,he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put todeath for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without anyremission.' Though the law and its severe penalty were known, manypersons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see atonce they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free.It happened, however, that one man, when they came to take hisdeclaration, swore and said that by the oath he took he was going todie upon that gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judgesheld a consultation over the oath, and they said, 'If we let thisman pass free he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die;but if we hang him, as he swore he was going to die on that gallows,and therefore swore the truth, by the same law he ought to go free.'It is asked of your worship, senor governor, what are the judges to dowith this man? For they are still in doubt and perplexity; andhaving heard of your worship's acute and exalted intellect, theyhave sent me to entreat your worship on their behalf to give youropinion on this very intricate and puzzling case."

To this Sancho made answer, "Indeed those gentlemen the judgesthat send you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for Ihave more of the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case overagain, so that I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be ableto hit the point."

The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, andthen Sancho said, "It seems to me I can set the matter right in amoment, and in this way; the man swears that he is going to die uponthe gallows; but if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and bythe law enacted deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but ifthey don't hang him, then he has sworn falsely, and by the same lawdeserves to be hanged."

"It is as the senor governor says," said the messenger; "and asregards a complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left todesire or hesitate about."

"Well then I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they should letpass the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied;and in this way the conditions of the passage will be fully compliedwith."

"But then, senor governor," replied the querist, "the man willhave to be divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course hewill die; and so none of the requirements of the law will be carriedout, and it is absolutely necessary to comply with it."

"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull orelse there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for hisliving and passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him thefalsehood equally condemns him; and that being the case it is myopinion you should say to the gentlemen who sent you to me that as thearguments for condemning him and for absolving him are exactlybalanced, they should let him pass freely, as it is always morepraiseworthy to do good than to do evil; this I would give signed withmy name if I knew how to sign; and what I have said in this case isnot out of my own head, but one of the many precepts my master DonQuixote gave me the night before I left to become governor of thisisland, that came into my mind, and it was this, that when there wasany doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to mercy; and itis God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits this case asif it was made for it."