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"Arm me then, in God's name," said Sancho, and they at once producedtwo large shields they had come provided with, and placed them uponhim over his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, oneshield in front and the other behind, and passing his arms throughopenings they had made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that therehe was walled and boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable tobend his knees or stir a single step. In his hand they placed a lance,on which he leant to keep himself from falling, and as soon as theyhad him thus fixed they bade him march forward and lead them on andgive them all courage; for with him for their guide and lamp andmorning star, they were sure to bring their business to a successfulissue.

"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?" said Sancho, "when Ican't stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight tomy body won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, andlay me across or set me upright in some postern, and I'll hold iteither with this lance or with my body."

"On, senor governor!" cried another, "it is fear more than theboards that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, forthere is no time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, theshouts grow louder, and the danger is pressing."

Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made anattempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that hefancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like atortoise enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between twokneading-troughs, or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gangof jokers feel any compassion for him when they saw him down; so farfrom that, extinguishing their torches they began to shout afreshand to renew the calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poorSancho, and slashing at him over the shield with their swords insuch a way that, if he had not gathered himself together and madehimself small and drawn in his head between the shields, it would havefared badly with the poor governor, as, squeezed into that narrowcompass, he lay, sweating and sweating again, and commending himselfwith all his heart to God to deliver him from his present peril.Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and one there was whotook up a position on top of him for some time, and from thence asif from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting out, "Here,our side! Here the enemy is thickest! Hold the breach there! Shut thatgate! Barricade those ladders! Here with your stink-pots of pitchand resin, and kettles of boiling oil! Block the streets withfeather beds!" In short, in his ardour he mentioned every littlething, and every implement and engine of war by means of which anassault upon a city is warded off, while the bruised and batteredSancho, who heard and suffered all, was saying to himself, "O if itwould only please the Lord to let the island be lost at once, and Icould see myself either dead or out of this torture!" Heaven heard hisprayer, and when he least expected it he heard voices exclaiming,"Victory, victory! The enemy retreats beaten! Come, senor governor,get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and divide the spoils thathave been won from the foe by the might of that invincible arm."

"Lift me up," said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. Theyhelped him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, "The enemyI have beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don't want to dividethe spoils of the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I haveone, to give me a sup of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipeme dry, for I'm turning to water."

They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields,and he seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, andfatigue he fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke werenow sorry they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his faintingaway had caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. Heasked what o'clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He saidno more, and in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him,waiting to see what the haste with which he was putting on his clothesmeant.

He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he wassorely bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable,followed by all who were present, and going up to Dapple embracedhim and gave him a loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, notwithout tears in his eyes, "Come along, comrade and friend and partnerof my toils and sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares totrouble me except mending your harness and feeding your littlecarcass, happy were my hours, my days, and my years; but since Ileft you, and mounted the towers of ambition and pride, a thousandmiseries, a thousand troubles, and four thousand anxieties haveentered into my soul;" and all the while he was speaking in thisstrain he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass, without a word fromanyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he, with great pain anddifficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the majordomo,the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the doctor and severalothers who stood by, he said, "Make way, gentlemen, and let me go backto my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myselfup from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protectislands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them.Ploughing and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more in my waythan defending provinces or kingdoms. 'Saint Peter is very well atRome; I mean each of us is best following the trade he was born to.A reaping-hook fits my hand better than a governor's sceptre; I'drather have my fill of gazpacho' than be subject to the misery of ameddling doctor who me with hunger, and I'd rather lie in summer underthe shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double sheepskinjacket in freedom, than go to bed between holland sheets and dressin sables under the restraint of a government. God be with yourworships, and tell my lord the duke that 'naked I was born, naked Ifind myself, I neither lose nor gain;' I mean that without afarthing I came into this government, and without a farthing I goout of it, very different from the way governors commonly leaveother islands. Stand aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself,for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemiesthat have been trampling over me to-night."

"That is unnecessary, senor governor," said Doctor Recio, "for Iwill give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that willsoon make you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet Ipromise your worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifullyof whatever you like."

"You spoke late," said Sancho. "I'd as soon turn Turk as stay anylonger. Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soonremain in this government, or take another, even if it was offeredme between two plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of thebreed of the Panzas, and they are every one of them obstinate, andif they once say 'odds,' odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, inspite of all the world. Here in this stable I leave the ant's wingsthat lifted me up into the air for the swifts and other birds to eatme, and let's take to level ground and our feet once more; and ifthey're not shod in pinked shoes of cordovan, they won't want forrough sandals of hemp; 'every ewe to her like,' 'and let no onestretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet;' and now let mepass, for it's growing late with me."

To this the majordomo said, "Senor governor, we would let yourworship go with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to loseyou, for your wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regretyou; but it is well known that every governor, before he leaves theplace where he has been governing, is bound first of all to renderan account. Let your worship do so for the ten days you have heldthe government, and then you may go and the peace of God go with you."

"No one can demand it of me," said Sancho, "but he whom my lordthe duke shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I willrender an exact one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, thereis no other proof needed to show that I have governed like an angel."

"By God the great Sancho is right," said Doctor Recio, "and weshould let him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to seehim."

They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering tobear him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his owncomfort or for the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything morethan a little barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaffor himself; for the distance being so short there was no occasion forany better or bulkier provant. They all embraced him, and he withtears embraced all of them, and left them filled with admiration notonly at his remarks but at his firm and sensible resolution.CHAPTER LIV

WHICH DEALS WITH MATTERS RELATING TO THIS HISTORY AND NO OTHER

THE duke and duchess resolved that the challenge Don Quixote had,for the reason already mentioned, given their vassal, should beproceeded with; and as the young man was in Flanders, whither he hadfled to escape having Dona Rodriguez for a mother-in-law, theyarranged to substitute for him a Gascon lacquey, named Tosilos,first of all carefully instructing him in all he had to do. Two dayslater the duke told Don Quixote that in four days from that time hisopponent would present himself on the field of battle armed as aknight, and would maintain that the damsel lied by half a beard, nay awhole beard, if she affirmed that he had given her a promise ofmarriage. Don Quixote was greatly pleased at the news, and promisedhimself to do wonders in the lists, and reckoned it rare goodfortune that an opportunity should have offered for letting hisnoble hosts see what the might of his strong arm was capable of; andso in high spirits and satisfaction he awaited the expiration of thefour days, which measured by his impatience seemed spinning themselvesout into four hundred ages. Let us leave them to pass as we do otherthings, and go and bear Sancho company, as mounted on Dapple, halfglad, half sad, he paced along on his road to join his master, inwhose society he was happier than in being governor of all the islandsin the world. Well then, it so happened that before he had gone agreat way from the island of his government (and whether it wasisland, city, town, or village that he governed he never troubledhimself to inquire) he saw coming along the road he was travelling sixpilgrims with staves, foreigners of that sort that beg for almssinging; who as they drew near arranged themselves in a line andlifting up their voices all together began to sing in their ownlanguage something that Sancho could not with the exception of oneword which sounded plainly "alms," from which he gathered that itwas alms they asked for in their song; and being, as Cide Hamete says,remarkably charitable, he took out of his alforias the half loaf andhalf cheese he had been provided with, and gave them to them,explaining to them by signs that he had nothing else to give them.They received them very gladly, but exclaimed, "Geld! Geld!"

"I don't understand what you want of me, good people," said Sancho.

On this one of them took a purse out of his bosom and showed it toSancho, by which he comprehended they were asking for money, andputting his thumb to his throat and spreading his hand upwards he gavethem to understand that he had not the sign of a coin about him, andurging Dapple forward he broke through them. But as he was passing,one of them who had been examining him very closely rushed towardshim, and flinging his arms round him exclaimed in a loud voice andgood Spanish, "God bless me! What's this I see? Is it possible thatI hold in my arms my dear friend, my good neighbour Sancho Panza?But there's no doubt about it, for I'm not asleep, nor am I drunk justnow."

Sancho was surprised to hear himself called by his name and findhimself embraced by a foreign pilgrim, and after regarding himsteadily without speaking he was still unable to recognise him; butthe pilgrim perceiving his perplexity cried, "What! and is itpossible, Sancho Panza, that thou dost not know thy neighbourRicote, the Morisco shopkeeper of thy village?"

Sancho upon this looking at him more carefully began to recall hisfeatures, and at last recognised him perfectly, and without gettingoff the ass threw his arms round his neck saying, "Who the devil couldhave known thee, Ricote, in this mummer's dress thou art in? Tellme, who bas frenchified thee, and how dost thou dare to return toSpain, where if they catch thee and recognise thee it will go hardenough with thee?"

"If thou dost not betray me, Sancho," said the pilgrim, "I amsafe; for in this dress no one will recognise me; but let us turnaside out of the road into that grove there where my comrades aregoing to eat and rest, and thou shalt eat with them there, for theyare very good fellows; I'll have time enough to tell thee then allthat has happened me since I left our village in obedience to hisMajesty's edict that threatened such severities against theunfortunate people of my nation, as thou hast heard."

Sancho complied, and Ricote having spoken to the other pilgrims theywithdrew to the grove they saw, turning a considerable distance out ofthe road. They threw down their staves, took off their pilgrim'scloaks and remained in their under-clothing; they were allgood-looking young fellows, except Ricote, who was a man somewhatadvanced in years. They carried alforjas all of them, and allapparently well filled, at least with things provocative of thirst,such as would summon it from two leagues off. They stretchedthemselves on the ground, and making a tablecloth of the grass theyspread upon it bread, salt, knives, walnut, scraps of cheese, andwell-picked ham-bones which if they were past gnawing were not pastsucking. They also put down a black dainty called, they say, caviar,and made of the eggs of fish, a great thirst-wakener. Nor was thereany lack of olives, dry, it is true, and without any seasoning, butfor all that toothsome and pleasant. But what made the best show inthe field of the banquet was half a dozen botas of wine, for each ofthem produced his own from his alforjas; even the good Ricote, whofrom a Morisco had transformed himself into a German or Dutchman, tookout his, which in size might have vied with the five others. They thenbegan to eat with very great relish and very leisurely, making themost of each morsel- very small ones of everything- they took up onthe point of the knife; and then all at the same moment raised theirarms and botas aloft, the mouths placed in their mouths, and alleyes fixed on heaven just as if they were taking aim at it; and inthis attitude they remained ever so long, wagging their heads fromside to side as if in acknowledgment of the pleasure they wereenjoying while they decanted the bowels of the bottles into theirown stomachs.