第 68 页

How she received the sceptre of Cathay,

Some bard of defter quill may sing some day;and this was no doubt a kind of prophecy, for poets are also calledvates, that is to say diviners; and its truth was made plain; forsince then a famous Andalusian poet has lamented and sung her tears,and another famous and rare poet, a Castilian, has sung her beauty."

"Tell me, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber here, "among all thosewho praised her, has there been no poet to write a satire on this LadyAngelica?"

"I can well believe," replied Don Quixote, "that if Sacripante orRoland had been poets they would have given the damsel a trimming; forit is naturally the way with poets who have been scorned andrejected by their ladies, whether fictitious or not, in short by thosewhom they select as the ladies of their thoughts, to avenge themselvesin satires and libels- a vengeance, to be sure, unworthy of generoushearts; but up to the present I have not heard of any defamatory verseagainst the Lady Angelica, who turned the world upside down."

"Strange," said the curate; but at this moment they heard thehousekeeper and the niece, who had previously withdrawn from theconversation, exclaiming aloud in the courtyard, and at the noise theyall ran out.

CHAPTER II

WHICH TREATS OF THE NOTABLE ALTERCATION WHICH SANCHO PANZA HADWITH DON QUIXOTE'S NIECE, AND HOUSEKEEPER, TOGETHER WITH OTHER DROLLMATTERS

THE history relates that the outcry Don Quixote, the curate, and thebarber heard came from the niece and the housekeeper exclaiming toSancho, who was striving to force his way in to see Don Quixotewhile they held the door against him, "What does the vagabond wantin this house? Be off to your own, brother, for it is you, and noone else, that delude my master, and lead him astray, and take himtramping about the country."

To which Sancho replied, "Devil's own housekeeper! it is I who amdeluded, and led astray, and taken tramping about the country, and notthy master! He has carried me all over the world, and you are mightilymistaken. He enticed me away from home by a trick, promising me anisland, which I am still waiting for."

"May evil islands choke thee, thou detestable Sancho," said theniece; "What are islands? Is it something to eat, glutton andgormandiser that thou art?"

"It is not something to eat," replied Sancho, "but something togovern and rule, and better than four cities or four judgeships atcourt."

"For all that," said the housekeeper, "you don't enter here, you bagof mischief and sack of knavery; go govern your house and dig yourseed-patch, and give over looking for islands or shylands."

The curate and the barber listened with great amusement to the wordsof the three; but Don Quixote, uneasy lest Sancho should blab andblurt out a whole heap of mischievous stupidities, and touch uponpoints that might not be altogether to his credit, called to him andmade the other two hold their tongues and let him come in. Sanchoentered, and the curate and the barber took their leave of DonQuixote, of whose recovery they despaired when they saw how weddedhe was to his crazy ideas, and how saturated with the nonsense ofhis unlucky chivalry; and said the curate to the barber, "You willsee, gossip, that when we are least thinking of it, our gentleman willbe off once more for another flight."

"I have no doubt of it," returned the barber; "but I do not wonderso much at the madness of the knight as at the simplicity of thesquire, who has such a firm belief in all that about the island,that I suppose all the exposures that could be imagined would notget it out of his head."

"God help them," said the curate; "and let us be on the look-outto see what comes of all these absurdities of the knight and squire,for it seems as if they had both been cast in the same mould, andthe madness of the master without the simplicity of the man wouldnot be worth a farthing."

"That is true," said the barber, "and I should like very much toknow what the pair are talking about at this moment."

"I promise you," said the curate, "the niece or the housekeeper willtell us by-and-by, for they are not the ones to forget to listen."

Meanwhile Don Quixote shut himself up in his room with Sancho, andwhen they were alone he said to him, "It grieves me greatly, Sancho,that thou shouldst have said, and sayest, that I took thee out ofthy cottage, when thou knowest I did not remain in my house. Wesallied forth together, we took the road together, we wanderedabroad together; we have had the same fortune and the same luck; ifthey blanketed thee once, they belaboured me a hundred times, and thatis the only advantage I have of thee."

"That was only reasonable," replied Sancho, "for, by what yourworship says, misfortunes belong more properly to knights-errantthan to their squires."

"Thou art mistaken, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "according to themaxim quando caput dolet, &c."

"I don't understand any language but my own," said Sancho.

"I mean to say," said Don Quixote, "that when the head suffers allthe members suffer; and so, being thy lord and master, I am thyhead, and thou a part of me as thou art my servant; and thereforeany evil that affects or shall affect me should give thee pain, andwhat affects thee give pain to me."

"It should be so," said Sancho; "but when I was blanketed as amember, my head was on the other side of the wall, looking on whileI was flying through the air, and did not feel any pain whatever;and if the members are obliged to feel the suffering of the head, itshould be obliged to feel their sufferings."

"Dost thou mean to say now, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that I didnot feel when they were blanketing thee? If thou dost, thou must notsay so or think so, for I felt more pain then in spirit than thoudidst in body. But let us put that aside for the present, for we shallhave opportunities enough for considering and settling the point; tellme, Sancho my friend, what do they say about me in the village here?What do the common people think of me? What do the hidalgos? What dothe caballeros? What do they say of my valour; of my achievements;of my courtesy? How do they treat the task I have undertaken inreviving and restoring to the world the now forgotten order ofchivalry? In short, Sancho, I would have thee tell me all that hascome to thine ears on this subject; and thou art to tell me, withoutadding anything to the good or taking away anything from the bad;for it is the duty of loyal vassals to tell the truth to their lordsjust as it is and in its proper shape, not allowing flattery to add toit or any idle deference to lessen it. And I would have thee know,Sancho, that if the naked truth, undisguised by flattery, came tothe ears of princes, times would be different, and other ages would bereckoned iron ages more than ours, which I hold to be the golden ofthese latter days. Profit by this advice, Sancho, and report to meclearly and faithfully the truth of what thou knowest touching whatI have demanded of thee."

"That I will do with all my heart, master," replied Sancho,"provided your worship will not be vexed at what I say, as you wish meto say it out in all its nakedness, without putting any more clotheson it than it came to my knowledge in."

"I will not be vexed at all," returned Don Quixote; "thou mayestspeak freely, Sancho, and without any beating about the bush."

"Well then," said he, "first of all, I have to tell you that thecommon people consider your worship a mighty great madman, and me noless a fool. The hidalgos say that, not keeping within the bounds ofyour quality of gentleman, you have assumed the 'Don,' and made aknight of yourself at a jump, with four vine-stocks and a couple ofacres of land, and never a shirt to your back. The caballeros say theydo not want to have hidalgos setting up in opposition to them,particularly squire hidalgos who polish their own shoes and darn theirblack stockings with green silk."

"That," said Don Quixote, "does not apply to me, for I always gowell dressed and never patched; ragged I may be, but ragged morefrom the wear and tear of arms than of time."

"As to your worship's valour, courtesy, accomplishments, and task,there is a variety of opinions. Some say, 'mad but droll;' others,'valiant but unlucky;' others, 'courteous but meddling,' and then theygo into such a number of things that they don't leave a whole boneeither in your worship or in myself."

"Recollect, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that wherever virtueexists in an eminent degree it is persecuted. Few or none of thefamous men that have lived escaped being calumniated by malice. JuliusCaesar, the boldest, wisest, and bravest of captains, was charged withbeing ambitious, and not particularly cleanly in his dress, or pure inhis morals. Of Alexander, whose deeds won him the name of Great,they say that he was somewhat of a drunkard. Of Hercules, him of themany labours, it is said that he was lewd and luxurious. Of DonGalaor, the brother of Amadis of Gaul, it was whispered that he wasover quarrelsome, and of his brother that he was lachrymose. Sothat, O Sancho, amongst all these calumnies against good men, mine maybe let pass, since they are no more than thou hast said."

"That's just where it is, body of my father!"

"Is there more, then?" asked Don Quixote.

"There's the tail to be skinned yet," said Sancho; "all so far iscakes and fancy bread; but if your worship wants to know all about thecalumnies they bring against you, I will fetch you one this instantwho can tell you the whole of them without missing an atom; for lastnight the son of Bartholomew Carrasco, who has been studying atSalamanca, came home after having been made a bachelor, and when Iwent to welcome him, he told me that your worship's history is alreadyabroad in books, with the title of THE INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN DON QUIXOTEOF LA MANCHA; and he says they mention me in it by my own name ofSancho Panza, and the lady Dulcinea del Toboso too, and diversthings that happened to us when we were alone; so that I crossedmyself in my wonder how the historian who wrote them down could haveknown them."

"I promise thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the author of ourhistory will be some sage enchanter; for to such nothing that theychoose to write about is hidden."

"What!" said Sancho, "a sage and an enchanter! Why, the bachelorSamson Carrasco (that is the name of him I spoke of) says the authorof the history is called Cide Hamete Berengena."

"That is a Moorish name," said Don Quixote.

"May be so," replied Sancho; "for I have heard say that the Moorsare mostly great lovers of berengenas."

"Thou must have mistaken the surname of this 'Cide'- which meansin Arabic 'Lord'- Sancho," observed Don Quixote.

"Very likely," replied Sancho, "but if your worship wishes me tofetch the bachelor I will go for him in a twinkling."

"Thou wilt do me a great pleasure, my friend," said Don Quixote,"for what thou hast told me has amazed me, and I shall not eat amorsel that will agree with me until I have heard all about it."

"Then I am off for him," said Sancho; and leaving his master he wentin quest of the bachelor, with whom he returned in a short time,and, all three together, they had a very droll colloquy.

CHAPTER III

OF THE LAUGHABLE CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE,SANCHO PANZA, AND THE BACHELOR SAMSON CARRASCO

DON QUIXOTE remained very deep in thought, waiting for thebachelor Carrasco, from whom he was to hear how he himself had beenput into a book as Sancho said; and he could not persuade himself thatany such history could be in existence, for the blood of the enemieshe had slain was not yet dry on the blade of his sword, and now theywanted to make out that his mighty achievements were going about inprint. For all that, he fancied some sage, either a friend or anenemy, might, by the aid of magic, have given them to the press; ifa friend, in order to magnify and exalt them above the most famousever achieved by any knight-errant; if an enemy, to bring them tonaught and degrade them below the meanest ever recorded of any lowsquire, though as he said to himself, the achievements of squiresnever were recorded. If, however, it were the fact that such a historywere in existence, it must necessarily, being the story of aknight-errant, be grandiloquent, lofty, imposing, grand and true. Withthis he comforted himself somewhat, though it made him uncomfortableto think that the author was a Moor, judging by the title of "Cide;"and that no truth was to be looked for from Moors, as they are allimpostors, cheats, and schemers. He was afraid he might have dealtwith his love affairs in some indecorous fashion, that might tend tothe discredit and prejudice of the purity of his lady Dulcinea delToboso; he would have had him set forth the fidelity and respect hehad always observed towards her, spurning queens, empresses, anddamsels of all sorts, and keeping in check the impetuosity of hisnatural impulses. Absorbed and wrapped up in these and divers othercogitations, he was found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom Don Quixotereceived with great courtesy.

The bachelor, though he was called Samson, was of no great bodilysize, but he was a very great wag; he was of a sallow complexion,but very sharp-witted, somewhere about four-and-twenty years of age,with a round face, a flat nose, and a large mouth, all indicationsof a mischievous disposition and a love of fun and jokes; and ofthis he gave a sample as soon as he saw Don Quixote, by falling on hisknees before him and saying, "Let me kiss your mightiness's hand,Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, for, by the habit of St. Peter thatI wear, though I have no more than the first four orders, your worshipis one of the most famous knights-errant that have ever been, orwill be, all the world over. A blessing on Cide Hamete Benengeli,who has written the history of your great deeds, and a double blessingon that connoisseur who took the trouble of having it translated outof the Arabic into our Castilian vulgar tongue for the universalentertainment of the people!"

Don Quixote made him rise, and said, "So, then, it is true thatthere is a history of me, and that it was a Moor and a sage whowrote it?"

"So true is it, senor," said Samson, "that my belief is there aremore than twelve thousand volumes of the said history in print thisvery day. Only ask Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where theyhave been printed, and moreover there is a report that it is beingprinted at Antwerp, and I am persuaded there will not be a countryor language in which there will not be a translation of it."