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"Day came," continued Sancho, "and the moment I stirred the stakesgave way and I fell to the ground with a mighty come down; I lookedabout for the ass, but could not see him; the tears rushed to myeyes and I raised such a lamentation that, if the author of ourhistory has not put it in, he may depend upon it he has left out agood thing. Some days after, I know not how many, travelling withher ladyship the Princess Micomicona, I saw my ass, and mounted uponhim, in the dress of a gipsy, was that Gines de Pasamonte, the greatrogue and rascal that my master and I freed from the chain."

"That is not where the mistake is," replied Samson; "it is, thatbefore the ass has turned up, the author speaks of Sancho as beingmounted on it."

"I don't know what to say to that," said Sancho, "unless that thehistorian made a mistake, or perhaps it might be a blunder of theprinter's."

"No doubt that's it," said Samson; "but what became of the hundredcrowns? Did they vanish?"

To which Sancho answered, "I spent them for my own good, and mywife's, and my children's, and it is they that have made my wifebear so patiently all my wanderings on highways and byways, in theservice of my master, Don Quixote; for if after all this time I hadcome back to the house without a rap and without the ass, it wouldhave been a poor look-out for me; and if anyone wants to know anythingmore about me, here I am, ready to answer the king himself inperson; and it is no affair of anyone's whether I took or did nottake, whether I spent or did not spend; for the whacks that were givenme in these journeys were to be paid for in money, even if they werevalued at no more than four maravedis apiece, another hundred crownswould not pay me for half of them. Let each look to himself and nottry to make out white black, and black white; for each of us is as Godmade him, aye, and often worse."

"I will take care," said Carrasco, "to impress upon the author ofthe history that, if he prints it again, he must not forget whatworthy Sancho has said, for it will raise it a good span higher."

"Is there anything else to correct in the history, senorbachelor?" asked Don Quixote.

"No doubt there is," replied he; "but not anything that will be ofthe same importance as those I have mentioned."

"Does the author promise a second part at all?" said Don Quixote.

"He does promise one," replied Samson; "but he says he has not foundit, nor does he know who has got it; and we cannot say whether it willappear or not; and so, on that head, as some say that no second parthas ever been good, and others that enough has been already writtenabout Don Quixote, it is thought there will be no second part;though some, who are jovial rather than saturnine, say, 'Let us havemore Quixotades, let Don Quixote charge and Sancho chatter, and nomatter what it may turn out, we shall be satisfied with that.'"

"And what does the author mean to do?" said Don Quixote.

"What?" replied Samson; "why, as soon as he has found the historywhich he is now searching for with extraordinary diligence, he will atonce give it to the press, moved more by the profit that may accrue tohim from doing so than by any thought of praise."

Whereat Sancho observed, "The author looks for money and profit,does he? It will he a wonder if he succeeds, for it will be onlyhurry, hurry, with him, like the tailor on Easter Eve; and worksdone in a hurry are never finished as perfectly as they ought to be.Let master Moor, or whatever he is, pay attention to what he is doing,and I and my master will give him as much grouting ready to hishand, in the way of adventures and accidents of all sorts, as wouldmake up not only one second part, but a hundred. The good man fancies,no doubt, that we are fast asleep in the straw here, but let himhold up our feet to be shod and he will see which foot it is we golame on. All I say is, that if my master would take my advice, wewould be now afield, redressing outrages and righting wrongs, as isthe use and custom of good knights-errant."

Sancho had hardly uttered these words when the neighing of Rocinantefell upon their ears, which neighing Don Quixote accepted as a happyomen, and he resolved to make another sally in three or four days fromthat time. Announcing his intention to the bachelor, he asked hisadvice as to the quarter in which he ought to commence his expedition,and the bachelor replied that in his opinion he ought to go to thekingdom of Aragon, and the city of Saragossa, where there were to becertain solemn joustings at the festival of St. George, at which hemight win renown above all the knights of Aragon, which would bewinning it above all the knights of the world. He commended his verypraiseworthy and gallant resolution, but admonished him to proceedwith greater caution in encountering dangers, because his life did notbelong to him, but to all those who had need of him to protect and aidthem in their misfortunes.

"There's where it is, what I abominate, Senor Samson," said Sanchohere; "my master will attack a hundred armed men as a greedy boy wouldhalf a dozen melons. Body of the world, senor bachelor! there is atime to attack and a time to retreat, and it is not to be always'Santiago, and close Spain!' Moreover, I have heard it said (and Ithink by my master himself, if I remember rightly) that the mean ofvalour lies between the extremes of cowardice and rashness; and ifthat be so, I don't want him to fly without having good reason, orto attack when the odds make it better not. But, above all things, Iwarn my master that if he is to take me with him it must be on thecondition that he is to do all the fighting, and that I am not to becalled upon to do anything except what concerns keeping him cleanand comfortable; in this I will dance attendance on him readily; butto expect me to draw sword, even against rascally churls of thehatchet and hood, is idle. I don't set up to be a fighting man,Senor Samson, but only the best and most loyal squire that ever servedknight-errant; and if my master Don Quixote, in consideration of mymany faithful services, is pleased to give me some island of themany his worship says one may stumble on in these parts, I will takeit as a great favour; and if he does not give it to me, I was bornlike everyone else, and a man must not live in dependence on anyoneexcept God; and what is more, my bread will taste as well, and perhapseven better, without a government than if I were a governor; and howdo I know but that in these governments the devil may have preparedsome trip for me, to make me lose my footing and fall and knock mygrinders out? Sancho I was born and Sancho I mean to die. But forall that, if heaven were to make me a fair offer of an island orsomething else of the kind, without much trouble and without muchrisk, I am not such a fool as to refuse it; for they say, too, 'whenthey offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; and 'when good luck comesto thee, take it in.'"

"Brother Sancho," said Carrasco, "you have spoken like aprofessor; but, for all that, put your trust in God and in Senor DonQuixote, for he will give you a kingdom, not to say an island."

"It is all the same, be it more or be it less," replied Sancho;"though I can tell Senor Carrasco that my master would not throw thekingdom he might give me into a sack all in holes; for I have feltmy own pulse and I find myself sound enough to rule kingdoms andgovern islands; and I have before now told my master as much."

"Take care, Sancho," said Samson; "honours change manners, andperhaps when you find yourself a governor you won't know the motherthat bore you."

"That may hold good of those that are born in the ditches," saidSancho, "not of those who have the fat of an old Christian fourfingers deep on their souls, as I have. Nay, only look at mydisposition, is that likely to show ingratitude to anyone?"

"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "we shall see when thegovernment comes; and I seem to see it already."

He then begged the bachelor, if he were a poet, to do him the favourof composing some verses for him conveying the farewell he meant totake of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, and to see that a letter ofher name was placed at the beginning of each line, so that, at the endof the verses, "Dulcinea del Toboso" might be read by putting togetherthe first letters. The bachelor replied that although he was not oneof the famous poets of Spain, who were, they said, only three and ahalf, he would not fail to compose the required verses; though hesaw a great difficulty in the task, as the letters which made up thename were seventeen; so, if he made four ballad stanzas of fourlines each, there would be a letter over, and if he made them of five,what they called decimas or redondillas, there were three lettersshort; nevertheless he would try to drop a letter as well as he could,so that the name "Dulcinea del Toboso" might be got into four balladstanzas.

"It must be, by some means or other," said Don Quixote, "forunless the name stands there plain and manifest, no woman wouldbelieve the verses were made for her."

They agreed upon this, and that the departure should take place inthree days from that time. Don Quixote charged the bachelor to keep ita secret, especially from the curate and Master Nicholas, and from hisniece and the housekeeper, lest they should prevent the execution ofhis praiseworthy and valiant purpose. Carrasco promised all, andthen took his leave, charging Don Quixote to inform him of his good orevil fortunes whenever he had an opportunity; and thus they badeeach other farewell, and Sancho went away to make the necessarypreparations for their expedition.

CHAPTER V

OF THE SHREWD AND DROLL CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHOPANZA AND HIS WIFE TERESA PANZA, AND OTHER MATTERS WORTHY OF BEINGDULY RECORDED

THE translator of this history, when he comes to write this fifthchapter, says that he considers it apocryphal, because in it SanchoPanza speaks in a style unlike that which might have been expectedfrom his limited intelligence, and says things so subtle that hedoes not think it possible he could have conceived them; however,desirous of doing what his task imposed upon him, he was unwillingto leave it untranslated, and therefore he went on to say:

Sancho came home in such glee and spirits that his wife noticedhis happiness a bowshot off, so much so that it made her ask him,"What have you got, Sancho friend, that you are so glad?"

To which he replied, "Wife, if it were God's will, I should bevery glad not to be so well pleased as I show myself."

"I don't understand you, husband," said she, "and I don't knowwhat you mean by saying you would be glad, if it were God's will,not to be well pleased; for, fool as I am, I don't know how one canfind pleasure in not having it."

"Hark ye, Teresa," replied Sancho, "I am glad because I have made upmy mind to go back to the service of my master Don Quixote, whomeans to go out a third time to seek for adventures; and I am goingwith him again, for my necessities will have it so, and also thehope that cheers me with the thought that I may find another hundredcrowns like those we have spent; though it makes me sad to have toleave thee and the children; and if God would be pleased to let mehave my daily bread, dry-shod and at home, without taking me outinto the byways and cross-roads- and he could do it at small cost bymerely willing it- it is clear my happiness would be more solid andlasting, for the happiness I have is mingled with sorrow at leavingthee; so that I was right in saying I would be glad, if it wereGod's will, not to be well pleased."

"Look here, Sancho," said Teresa; "ever since you joined on to aknight-errant you talk in such a roundabout way that there is nounderstanding you."

"It is enough that God understands me, wife," replied Sancho; "forhe is the understander of all things; that will do; but mind,sister, you must look to Dapple carefully for the next three days,so that he may be fit to take arms; double his feed, and see to thepack-saddle and other harness, for it is not to a wedding we arebound, but to go round the world, and play at give and take withgiants and dragons and monsters, and hear hissings and roarings andbellowings and howlings; and even all this would be lavender, if wehad not to reckon with Yanguesans and enchanted Moors."

"I know well enough, husband," said Teresa, "that squires-errantdon't eat their bread for nothing, and so I will be always prayingto our Lord to deliver you speedily from all that hard fortune."

"I can tell you, wife," said Sancho, "if I did not expect to seemyself governor of an island before long, I would drop down dead onthe spot."

"Nay, then, husband," said Teresa; "let the hen live, though it bewith her pip, live, and let the devil take all the governments inthe world; you came out of your mother's womb without a government,you have lived until now without a government, and when it is God'swill you will go, or be carried, to your grave without a government.How many there are in the world who live without a government, andcontinue to live all the same, and are reckoned in the number of thepeople. The best sauce in the world is hunger, and as the poor arenever without that, they always eat with a relish. But mind, Sancho,if by good luck you should find yourself with some government, don'tforget me and your children. Remember that Sanchico is now fullfifteen, and it is right he should go to school, if his uncle theabbot has a mind to have him trained for the Church. Consider, too,that your daughter Mari-Sancha will not die of grief if we marryher; for I have my suspicions that she is as eager to get a husband asyou to get a government; and, after all, a daughter looks better illmarried than well whored."

"By my faith," replied Sancho, "if God brings me to get any sortof a government, I intend, wife, to make such a high match forMari-Sancha that there will be no approaching her without callingher 'my lady."

"Nay, Sancho," returned Teresa; "marry her to her equal, that is thesafest plan; for if you put her out of wooden clogs into high-heeledshoes, out of her grey flannel petticoat into hoops and silk gowns,out of the plain 'Marica' and 'thou,' into 'Dona So-and-so' and 'mylady,' the girl won't know where she is, and at every turn she willfall into a thousand blunders that will show the thread of hercoarse homespun stuff."