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"O scum of the earth!" cried Sancho at this, "O miserable,spiteful enchanters! O that I could see you all strung by the gills,like sardines on a twig! Ye know a great deal, ye can do a great deal,and ye do a great deal more. It ought to have been enough for you,ye scoundrels, to have changed the pearls of my lady's eyes into oakgalls, and her hair of purest gold into the bristles of a red ox'stail, and in short, all her features from fair to foul, withoutmeddling with her smell; for by that we might somehow have found outwhat was hidden underneath that ugly rind; though, to tell thetruth, I never perceived her ugliness, but only her beauty, whichwas raised to the highest pitch of perfection by a mole she had on herright lip, like a moustache, with seven or eight red hairs likethreads of gold, and more than a palm long."

"From the correspondence which exists between those of the faceand those of the body," said Don Quixote, "Dulcinea must haveanother mole resembling that on the thick of the thigh on that side onwhich she has the one on her ace; but hairs of the length thou hastmentioned are very long for moles."

"Well, all I can say is there they were as plain as could be,"replied Sancho.

"I believe it, my friend," returned Don Quixote; "for naturebestowed nothing on Dulcinea that was not perfect and well-finished;and so, if she had a hundred moles like the one thou hast described,in her they would not be moles, but moons and shining stars. Buttell me, Sancho, that which seemed to me to be a pack-saddle as thouwert fixing it, was it a flat-saddle or a side-saddle?"

"It was neither," replied Sancho, "but a jineta saddle, with a fieldcovering worth half a kingdom, so rich is it."

"And that I could not see all this, Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "oncemore I say, and will say a thousand times, I am the most unfortunateof men."

Sancho, the rogue, had enough to do to hide his laughter, at hearingthe simplicity of the master he had so nicely befooled. At length,after a good deal more conversation had passed between them, theyremounted their beasts, and followed the road to Saragossa, which theyexpected to reach in time to take part in a certain grand festivalwhich is held every year in that illustrious city; but before they gotthere things happened to them, so many, so important, and sostrange, that they deserve to be recorded and read, as will be seenfarther on.CHAPTER XI

OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURE WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE HAD WITHTHE CAR OR CART OF "THE CORTES OF DEATH"

DEJECTED beyond measure did Don Quixote pursue his journey,turning over in his mind the cruel trick the enchanters had played himin changing his lady Dulcinea into the vile shape of the village lass,nor could he think of any way of restoring her to her original form;and these reflections so absorbed him, that without being aware ofit he let go Rocinante's bridle, and he, perceiving the liberty thatwas granted him, stopped at every step to crop the fresh grass withwhich the plain abounded.

Sancho recalled him from his reverie. "Melancholy, senor," saidhe, "was made, not for beasts, but for men; but if men give way toit overmuch they turn to beasts; control yourself, your worship; beyourself again; gather up Rocinante's reins; cheer up, rouseyourself and show that gallant spirit that knights-errant ought tohave. What the devil is this? What weakness is this? Are we here or inFrance? The devil fly away with all the Dulcineas in the world; forthe well-being of a single knight-errant is of more consequence thanall the enchantments and transformations on earth."

"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote in a weak and faint voice, "hushand utter no blasphemies against that enchanted lady; for I alone amto blame for her misfortune and hard fate; her calamity has come ofthe hatred the wicked bear me."

"So say I," returned Sancho; "his heart rend in twain, I trow, whosaw her once, to see her now."

"Thou mayest well say that, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "as thousawest her in the full perfection of her beauty; for the enchantmentdoes not go so far as to pervert thy vision or hide her lovelinessfrom thee; against me alone and against my eyes is the strength of itsvenom directed. Nevertheless, there is one thing which has occurred tome, and that is that thou didst ill describe her beauty to me, for, aswell as I recollect, thou saidst that her eyes were pearls; but eyesthat are like pearls are rather the eyes of a sea-bream than of alady, and I am persuaded that Dulcinea's must be green emeralds,full and soft, with two rainbows for eyebrows; take away thosepearls from her eyes and transfer them to her teeth; for beyond adoubt, Sancho, thou hast taken the one for the other, the eyes for theteeth."

"Very likely," said Sancho; "for her beauty bewildered me as much asher ugliness did your worship; but let us leave it all to God, whoalone knows what is to happen in this vale of tears, in this evilworld of ours, where there is hardly a thing to be found withoutsome mixture of wickedness, roguery, and rascality. But one thing,senor, troubles me more than all the rest, and that is thinking whatis to be done when your worship conquers some giant, or some otherknight, and orders him to go and present himself before the beautyof the lady Dulcinea. Where is this poor giant, or this poor wretch ofa vanquished knight, to find her? I think I can see them wandering allover El Toboso, looking like noddies, and asking for my lady Dulcinea;and even if they meet her in the middle of the street they won'tknow her any more than they would my father."

"Perhaps, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "the enchantment does notgo so far as to deprive conquered and presented giants and knightsof the power of recognising Dulcinea; we will try by experiment withone or two of the first I vanquish and send to her, whether they seeher or not, by commanding them to return and give me an account ofwhat happened to them in this respect."

"I declare, I think what your worship has proposed is excellent,"said Sancho; "and that by this plan we shall find out what we wantto know; and if it be that it is only from your worship she is hidden,the misfortune will be more yours than hers; but so long as the ladyDulcinea is well and happy, we on our part will make the best of it,and get on as well as we can, seeking our adventures, and leaving Timeto take his own course; for he is the best physician for these andgreater ailments."

Don Quixote was about to reply to Sancho Panza, but he was preventedby a cart crossing the road full of the most diverse and strangepersonages and figures that could be imagined. He who led the mulesand acted as carter was a hideous demon; the cart was open to the sky,without a tilt or cane roof, and the first figure that presenteditself to Don Quixote's eyes was that of Death itself with a humanface; next to it was an angel with large painted wings, and at oneside an emperor, with a crown, to all appearance of gold, on his head.At the feet of Death was the god called Cupid, without his bandage,but with his bow, quiver, and arrows; there was also a knight infull armour, except that he had no morion or helmet, but only a hatdecked with plumes of divers colours; and along with these therewere others with a variety of costumes and faces. All this,unexpectedly encountered, took Don Quixote somewhat aback, andstruck terror into the heart of Sancho; but the next instant DonQuixote was glad of it, believing that some new perilous adventure waspresenting itself to him, and under this impression, and with a spiritprepared to face any danger, he planted himself in front of thecart, and in a loud and menacing tone, exclaimed, "Carter, orcoachman, or devil, or whatever thou art, tell me at once who thouart, whither thou art going, and who these folk are thou carriest inthy wagon, which looks more like Charon's boat than an ordinary cart."

To which the devil, stopping the cart, answered quietly, "Senor,we are players of Angulo el Malo's company; we have been acting theplay of 'The Cortes of Death' this morning, which is the octave ofCorpus Christi, in a village behind that hill, and we have to act itthis afternoon in that village which you can see from this; and asit is so near, and to save the trouble of undressing and dressingagain, we go in the costumes in which we perform. That lad thereappears as Death, that other as an angel, that woman, the manager'swife, plays the queen, this one the soldier, that the emperor, and Ithe devil; and I am one of the principal characters of the play, forin this company I take the leading parts. If you want to know anythingmore about us, ask me and I will answer with the utmost exactitude,for as I am a devil I am up to everything."

"By the faith of a knight-errant," replied Don Quixote, "when Isaw this cart I fancied some great adventure was presenting itselfto me; but I declare one must touch with the hand what appears tothe eye, if illusions are to be avoided. God speed you, good people;keep your festival, and remember, if you demand of me ought whereinI can render you a service, I will do it gladly and willingly, forfrom a child I was fond of the play, and in my youth a keen lover ofthe actor's art."

While they were talking, fate so willed it that one of the companyin a mummers' dress with a great number of bells, and armed with threeblown ox-bladders at the end of a stick, joined them, and thismerry-andrew approaching Don Quixote, began flourishing his stickand banging the ground with the bladders and cutting capers with greatjingling of the bells, which untoward apparition so startled Rocinantethat, in spite of Don Quixote's efforts to hold him in, taking the bitbetween his teeth he set off across the plain with greater speedthan the bones of his anatomy ever gave any promise of. Sancho, whothought his master was in danger of being thrown, jumped off Dapple,and ran in all haste to help him; but by the time he reached him hewas already on the ground, and beside him was Rocinante, who hadcome down with his master, the usual end and upshot of Rocinante'svivacity and high spirits. But the moment Sancho quitted his beastto go and help Don Quixote, the dancing devil with the bladders jumpedup on Dapple, and beating him with them, more by the fright and thenoise than by the pain of the blows, made him fly across the fieldstowards the village where they were going to hold their festival.Sancho witnessed Dapple's career and his master's fall, and did notknow which of the two cases of need he should attend to first; butin the end, like a good squire and good servant, he let his love forhis master prevail over his affection for his ass; though every timehe saw the bladders rise in the air and come down on the hind quartersof his Dapple he felt the pains and terrors of death, and he wouldhave rather had the blows fall on the apples of his own eyes than onthe least hair of his ass's tail. In this trouble and perplexity hecame to where Don Quixote lay in a far sorrier plight than he liked,and having helped him to mount Rocinante, he said to him, "Senor,the devil has carried off my Dapple."

"What devil?" asked Don Quixote.

"The one with the bladders," said Sancho.

"Then I will recover him," said Don Quixote, "even if he be shutup with him in the deepest and darkest dungeons of hell. Follow me,Sancho, for the cart goes slowly, and with the mules of it I will makegood the loss of Dapple."

"You need not take the trouble, senor," said Sancho; "keep cool, foras I now see, the devil has let Dapple go and he is coming back to hisold quarters;" and so it turned out, for, having come down withDapple, in imitation of Don Quixote and Rocinante, the devil madeoff on foot to the town, and the ass came back to his master.

"For all that," said Don Quixote, "it will be well to visit thediscourtesy of that devil upon some of those in the cart, even if itwere the emperor himself."

"Don't think of it, your worship," returned Sancho; "take myadvice and never meddle with actors, for they are a favoured class;I myself have known an actor taken up for two murders, and yet comeoff scot-free; remember that, as they are merry folk who givepleasure, everyone favours and protects them, and helps and makes muchof them, above all when they are those of the royal companies andunder patent, all or most of whom in dress and appearance look likeprinces."

"Still, for all that," said Don Quixote, "the player devil mustnot go off boasting, even if the whole human race favours him."

So saying, he made for the cart, which was now very near the town,shouting out as he went, "Stay! halt! ye merry, jovial crew! I want toteach you how to treat asses and animals that serve the squires ofknights-errant for steeds."

So loud were the shouts of Don Quixote, that those in the cart heardand understood them, and, guessing by the words what the speaker'sintention was, Death in an instant jumped out of the cart, and theemperor, the devil carter and the angel after him, nor did the queenor the god Cupid stay behind; and all armed themselves with stones andformed in line, prepared to receive Don Quixote on the points of theirpebbles. Don Quixote, when he saw them drawn up in such a gallantarray with uplifted arms ready for a mighty discharge of stones,checked Rocinante and began to consider in what way he could attackthem with the least danger to himself. As he halted Sancho came up,and seeing him disposed to attack this well-ordered squadron, saidto him, "It would be the height of madness to attempt such anenterprise; remember, senor, that against sops from the brook, andplenty of them, there is no defensive armour in the world, except tostow oneself away under a brass bell; and besides, one should rememberthat it is rashness, and not valour, for a single man to attack anarmy that has Death in it, and where emperors fight in person, withangels, good and bad, to help them; and if this reflection will notmake you keep quiet, perhaps it will to know for certain that amongall these, though they look like kings, princes, and emperors, thereis not a single knight-errant."

"Now indeed thou hast hit the point, Sancho," said Don Quixote,"which may and should turn me from the resolution I had alreadyformed. I cannot and must not draw sword, as I have many a time beforetold thee, against anyone who is not a dubbed knight; it is forthee, Sancho, if thou wilt, to take vengeance for the wrong done tothy Dapple; and I will help thee from here by shouts and salutarycounsels."

"There is no occasion to take vengeance on anyone, senor," repliedSancho; "for it is not the part of good Christians to revengewrongs; and besides, I will arrange it with my ass to leave hisgrievance to my good-will and pleasure, and that is to live in peaceas long as heaven grants me life."