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"What!" returned Master Pedro; "and these relics lying here on thebare hard ground- what scattered and shattered them but the invinciblestrength of that mighty arm? And whose were the bodies they belongedto but mine? And what did I get my living by but by them?"

"Now am I fully convinced," said Don Quixote, "of what I had manya time before believed; that the enchanters who persecute me donothing more than put figures like these before my eyes, and thenchange and turn them into what they please. In truth and earnest, Iassure you gentlemen who now hear me, that to me everything that hastaken place here seemed to take place literally, that Melisendra wasMelisendra, Don Gaiferos Don Gaiferos, Marsilio Marsilio, andCharlemagne Charlemagne. That was why my anger was roused; and to befaithful to my calling as a knight-errant I sought to give aid andprotection to those who fled, and with this good intention I didwhat you have seen. If the result has been the opposite of what Iintended, it is no fault of mine, but of those wicked beings thatpersecute me; but, for all that, I am willing to condemn myself incosts for this error of mine, though it did not proceed from malice;let Master Pedro see what he wants for the spoiled figures, for Iagree to pay it at once in good and current money of Castile."

Master Pedro made him a bow, saying, "I expected no less of the rareChristianity of the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha, true helperand protector of all destitute and needy vagabonds; master landlordhere and the great Sancho Panza shall be the arbitrators andappraisers between your worship and me of what these dilapidatedfigures are worth or may be worth."

The landlord and Sancho consented, and then Master Pedro picked upfrom the ground King Marsilio of Saragossa with his head off, andsaid, "Here you see how impossible it is to restore this king to hisformer state, so I think, saving your better judgments, that for hisdeath, decease, and demise, four reals and a half may be given me."

"Proceed," said Don Quixote.

"Well then, for this cleavage from top to bottom," continuedMaster Pedro, taking up the split Emperor Charlemagne, "it would notbe much if I were to ask five reals and a quarter."

"It's not little," said Sancho.

"Nor is it much," said the landlord; "make it even, and say fivereals."

"Let him have the whole five and a quarter," said Don Quixote;"for the sum total of this notable disaster does not stand on aquarter more or less; and make an end of it quickly, Master Pedro, forit's getting on to supper-time, and I have some hints of hunger."

"For this figure," said Master Pedro, "that is without a nose, andwants an eye, and is the fair Melisendra, I ask, and I am reasonablein my charge, two reals and twelve maravedis."

"The very devil must be in it," said Don Quixote, "if Melisendra andher husband are not by this time at least on the French border, forthe horse they rode on seemed to me to fly rather than gallop; soyou needn't try to sell me the cat for the hare, showing me here anoseless Melisendra when she is now, may be, enjoying herself at herease with her husband in France. God help every one to his own, MasterPedro, and let us all proceed fairly and honestly; and now go on."

Master Pedro, perceiving that Don Quixote was beginning to wander,and return to his original fancy, was not disposed to let himescape, so he said to him, "This cannot be Melisendra, but must be oneof the damsels that waited on her; so if I'm given sixty maravedis forher, I'll be content and sufficiently paid."

And so he went on, putting values on ever so many more smashedfigures, which, after the two arbitrators had adjusted them to thesatisfaction of both parties, came to forty reals andthree-quarters; and over and above this sum, which Sancho at oncedisbursed, Master Pedro asked for two reals for his trouble incatching the ape.

"Let him have them, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "not to catch theape, but to get drunk; and two hundred would I give this minute forthe good news, to anyone who could tell me positively, that the ladyDona Melisandra and Senor Don Gaiferos were now in France and withtheir own people."

"No one could tell us that better than my ape," said Master Pedro;"but there's no devil that could catch him now; I suspect, however,that affection and hunger will drive him to come looking for meto-night; but to-morrow will soon be here and we shall see."

In short, the puppet-show storm passed off, and all supped inpeace and good fellowship at Don Quixote's expense, for he was theheight of generosity. Before it was daylight the man with the lancesand halberds took his departure, and soon after daybreak the cousinand the page came to bid Don Quixote farewell, the former returninghome, the latter resuming his journey, towards which, to help him, DonQuixote gave him twelve reals. Master Pedro did not care to engagein any more palaver with Don Quixote, whom he knew right well; so herose before the sun, and having got together the remains of his showand caught his ape, he too went off to seek his adventures. Thelandlord, who did not know Don Quixote, was as much astonished athis mad freaks as at his generosity. To conclude, Sancho, by hismaster's orders, paid him very liberally, and taking leave of him theyquitted the inn at about eight in the morning and took to the road,where we will leave them to pursue their journey, for this isnecessary in order to allow certain other matters to be set forth,which are required to clear up this famous history.CHAPTER XXVII

WHEREIN IT IS SHOWN WHO MASTER PEDRO AND HIS APE WERE, TOGETHER WITHTHE MISHAP DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, WHICH HE DIDNOT CONCLUDE AS HE WOULD HAVE LIKED OR AS HE HAD EXPECTED

CIDE HAMETE, the chronicler of this great history, begins thischapter with these words, "I swear as a Catholic Christian;" withregard to which his translator says that Cide Hamete's swearing as aCatholic Christian, he being- as no doubt he was- a Moor, only meantthat, just as a Catholic Christian taking an oath swears, or oughtto swear, what is true, and tell the truth in what he avers, so he wastelling the truth, as much as if he swore as a Catholic Christian,in all he chose to write about Quixote, especially in declaring whoMaster Pedro was and what was the divining ape that astonished all thevillages with his divinations. He says, then, that he who has read theFirst Part of this history will remember well enough the Gines dePasamonte whom, with other galley slaves, Don Quixote set free inthe Sierra Morena: a kindness for which he afterwards got poorthanks and worse payment from that evil-minded, ill-conditioned set.This Gines de Pasamonte- Don Ginesillo de Parapilla, Don Quixotecalled him- it was that stole Dapple from Sancho Panza; which, becauseby the fault of the printers neither the how nor the when was statedin the First Part, has been a puzzle to a good many people, whoattribute to the bad memory of the author what was the error of thepress. In fact, however, Gines stole him while Sancho Panza was asleepon his back, adopting the plan and device that Brunello had recourseto when he stole Sacripante's horse from between his legs at the siegeof Albracca; and, as has been told, Sancho afterwards recovered him.This Gines, then, afraid of being caught by the officers of justice,who were looking for him to punish him for his numberlessrascalities and offences (which were so many and so great that hehimself wrote a big book giving an account of them), resolved to shifthis quarters into the kingdom of Aragon, and cover up his left eye,and take up the trade of a puppet-showman; for this, as well asjuggling, he knew how to practise to perfection. From some releasedChristians returning from Barbary, it so happened, he bought theape, which he taught to mount upon his shoulder on his making acertain sign, and to whisper, or seem to do so, in his ear. Thusprepared, before entering any village whither he was bound with hisshow and his ape, he used to inform himself at the nearest village, orfrom the most likely person he could find, as to what particularthings had happened there, and to whom; and bearing them well in mind,the first thing be did was to exhibit his show, sometimes one story,sometimes another, but all lively, amusing, and familiar. As soon asthe exhibition was over he brought forward the accomplishments ofhis ape, assuring the public that he divined all the past and thepresent, but as to the future he had no skill. For each questionanswered he asked two reals, and for some he made a reduction, just ashe happened to feel the pulse of the questioners; and when now andthen he came to houses where things that he knew of had happened tothe people living there, even if they did not ask him a question,not caring to pay for it, he would make the sign to the ape and thendeclare that it had said so and so, which fitted the case exactly.In this way he acquired a prodigious name and all ran after him; onother occasions, being very crafty, he would answer in such a way thatthe answers suited the questions; and as no one cross-questioned himor pressed him to tell how his ape divined, he made fools of themall and filled his pouch. The instant he entered the inn he knew DonQuixote and Sancho, and with that knowledge it was easy for him toastonish them and all who were there; but it would have cost himdear had Don Quixote brought down his hand a little lower when hecut off King Marsilio's head and destroyed all his horsemen, asrelated in the preceeding chapter.

So much for Master Pedro and his ape; and now to return to DonQuixote of La Mancha. After he had left the inn he determined tovisit, first of all, the banks of the Ebro and that neighbourhood,before entering the city of Saragossa, for the ample time there wasstill to spare before the jousts left him enough for all. With thisobject in view he followed the road and travelled along it for twodays, without meeting any adventure worth committing to writinguntil on the third day, as he was ascending a hill, he heard a greatnoise of drums, trumpets, and musket-shots. At first he imaginedsome regiment of soldiers was passing that way, and to see them hespurred Rocinante and mounted the hill. On reaching the top he sawat the foot of it over two hundred men, as it seemed to him, armedwith weapons of various sorts, lances, crossbows, partisans, halberds,and pikes, and a few muskets and a great many bucklers. He descendedthe slope and approached the band near enough to see distinctly theflags, make out the colours and distinguish the devices they bore,especially one on a standard or ensign of white satin, on whichthere was painted in a very life-like style an ass like a little sard,with its head up, its mouth open and its tongue out, as if it werein the act and attitude of braying; and round it were inscribed inlarge characters these two lines-

They did not bray in vain,

Our alcaldes twain.From this device Don Quixote concluded that these people must befrom the braying town, and he said so to Sancho, explaining to himwhat was written on the standard. At the same time be observed thatthe man who had told them about the matter was wrong in saying thatthe two who brayed were regidors, for according to the lines of thestandard they were alcaldes. To which Sancho replied, "Senor,there's nothing to stick at in that, for maybe the regidors who brayedthen came to he alcaldes of their town afterwards, and so they maygo by both titles; moreover, it has nothing to do with the truth ofthe story whether the brayers were alcaldes or regidors, provided atany rate they did bray; for an alcalde is just as likely to bray asa regidor." They perceived, in short, clearly that the town whichhad been twitted had turned out to do battle with some other thathad jeered it more than was fair or neighbourly.

Don Quixote proceeded to join them, not a little to Sancho'suneasiness, for he never relished mixing himself up in expeditionsof that sort. The members of the troop received him into the midstof them, taking him to he some one who was on their side. Don Quixote,putting up his visor, advanced with an easy bearing and demeanour tothe standard with the ass, and all the chief men of the armygathered round him to look at him, staring at him with the usualamazement that everybody felt on seeing him for the first time. DonQuixote, seeing them examining him so attentively, and that none ofthem spoke to him or put any question to him, determined to takeadvantage of their silence; so, breaking his own, he lifted up hisvoice and said, "Worthy sirs, I entreat you as earnestly as I cannot to interrupt an argument I wish to address to you, until youfind it displeases or wearies you; and if that come to pass, on theslightest hint you give me I will put a seal upon my lips and a gagupon my tongue."

They all bade him say what he liked, for they would listen to himwillingly.

With this permission Don Quixote went on to say, "I, sirs, am aknight-errant whose calling is that of arms, and whose profession isto protect those who require protection, and give help to such asstand in need of it. Some days ago I became acquainted with yourmisfortune and the cause which impels you to take up arms again andagain to revenge yourselves upon your enemies; and having many timesthought over your business in my mind, I find that, according to thelaws of combat, you are mistaken in holding yourselves insulted; for aprivate individual cannot insult an entire community; unless it beby defying it collectively as a traitor, because he cannot tell who inparticular is guilty of the treason for which he defies it. Of this wehave an example in Don Diego Ordonez de Lara, who defied the wholetown of Zamora, because he did not know that Vellido Dolfos alonehad committed the treachery of slaying his king; and therefore hedefied them all, and the vengeance and the reply concerned all;though, to be sure, Senor Don Diego went rather too far, indeed verymuch beyond the limits of a defiance; for he had no occasion to defythe dead, or the waters, or the fishes, or those yet unborn, and allthe rest of it as set forth; but let that pass, for when angerbreaks out there's no father, governor, or bridle to check the tongue.The case being, then, that no one person can insult a kingdom,province, city, state, or entire community, it is clear there is noreason for going out to avenge the defiance of such an insult,inasmuch as it is not one. A fine thing it would be if the people ofthe clock town were to be at loggerheads every moment with everyonewho called them by that name, -or the Cazoleros, Berengeneros,Ballenatos, Jaboneros, or the bearers of all the other names andtitles that are always in the mouth of the boys and common people!It would be a nice business indeed if all these illustrious citieswere to take huff and revenge themselves and go about perpetuallymaking trombones of their swords in every petty quarrel! No, no; Godforbid! There are four things for which sensible men andwell-ordered States ought to take up arms, draw their swords, and risktheir persons, lives, and properties. The first is to defend theCatholic faith; the second, to defend one's life, which is inaccordance with natural and divine law; the third, in defence of one'shonour, family, and property; the fourth, in the service of one's kingin a just war; and if to these we choose to add a fifth (which maybe included in the second), in defence of one's country. To thesefive, as it were capital causes, there may be added some others thatmay be just and reasonable, and make it a duty to take up arms; but totake them up for trifles and things to laugh at and he amused byrather than offended, looks as though he who did so was altogetherwanting in common sense. Moreover, to take an unjust revenge (andthere cannot be any just one) is directly opposed to the sacred lawthat we acknowledge, wherein we are commanded to do good to ourenemies and to love them that hate us; a command which, though itseems somewhat difficult to obey, is only so to those who have in themless of God than of the world, and more of the flesh than of thespirit; for Jesus Christ, God and true man, who never lied, andcould not and cannot lie, said, as our law-giver, that his yoke waseasy and his burden light; he would not, therefore, have laid anycommand upon us that it was impossible to obey. Thus, sirs, you arebound to keep quiet by human and divine law."