"Oh, dash the cup!" he said.
"You should go to bed earlier," said the woman.
He looked up at her, laughing with impudence.
"I went to bed before YOU did," he said.
"Yes, my Guyney, you did!" she exclaimed.
"Fancy," he said, stirring his tea, "having tea brought to bedto me! My mother'll think I'm ruined for life."
"Don't she never do it?" asked Mrs. Radford.
"She'd as leave think of flying."
"Ah, I always spoilt my lot! That's why they've turned outsuch bad uns," said the elderly woman.
"You'd only Clara," he said. "And Mr. Radford's in heaven. So I suppose there's only you left to be the bad un."
"I'm not bad; I'm only soft," she said, as she went outof the bedroom. "I'm only a fool, I am!"
Clara was very quiet at breakfast, but she had a sort of airof proprietorship over him that pleased him infinitely. Mrs. Radfordwas evidently fond of him. He began to talk of his painting.
"What's the good," exclaimed the mother, "of your whittlingand worrying and twistin' and too-in' at that painting of yours? What GOOD does it do you, I should like to know? You'd betterbe enjoyin' yourself."
"Oh, but," exclaimed Paul, "I made over thirty guineas last year."
"Did you! Well, that's a consideration, but it's nothingto the time you put in."
"And I've got four pounds owing. A man said he'd give me fivepounds if I'd paint him and his missis and the dog and the cottage. And I went and put the fowls in instead of the dog, and he was waxy,so I had to knock a quid off. I was sick of it, and I didn't likethe dog. I made a picture of it. What shall I do when he pays methe four pounds?"
"Nay! you know your own uses for your money," said Mrs. Radford.
"But I'm going to bust this four pounds. Should we goto the seaside for a day or two?"
"Who?"
"You and Clara and me."
"What, on your money!" she exclaimed, half-wrathful.
"Why not?"
"YOU wouldn't be long in breaking your neck at a hurdle race!"she said.
"So long as I get a good run for my money! Will you?"
"Nay; you may settle that atween you."
"And you're willing?" he asked, amazed and rejoicing.
"You'll do as you like," said Mrs. Radford, "whether I'mwilling or not."
CHAPTER XIII
BAXTER DAWES（I）
SOON after Paul had been to the theatre with Clara, he was drinkingin the Punch Bowl with some friends of his when Dawes came in. Clara's husband was growing stout; his eyelids were getting slackover his brown eyes; he was losing his healthy firmness of flesh. He was very evidently on the downward track. Having quarrelledwith his sister, he had gone into cheap lodgings. His mistresshad left him for a man who would marry her. He had been in prisonone night for fighting when he was drunk, and there was a shadybetting episode in which he was concerned.
Paul and he were confirmed enemies, and yet there was betweenthem that peculiar feeling of intimacy, as if they were secretlynear to each other, which sometimes exists between two people,although they never speak to one another. Paul often thought ofBaxter Dawes, often wanted to get at him and be friends with him. He knew that Dawes often thought about him, and that the man wasdrawn to him by some bond or other. And yet the two never lookedat each other save in hostility.
Since he was a superior employee at Jordan's, it was the thingfor Paul to offer Dawes a drink.
"What'll you have?" he asked of him.
"Nowt wi' a bleeder like you!" replied the man.
Paul turned away with a slight disdainful movement of the shoulders,very irritating.
"The aristocracy," he continued, "is really a military institution. Take Germany, now. She's got thousands of aristocrats whose onlymeans of existence is the army. They're deadly poor, and life'sdeadly slow. So they hope for a war. They look for war as a chanceof getting on. Till there's a war they are idle good-for-nothings.When there's a war, they are leaders and commanders. There you are,then--they WANT war!"
He was not a favourite debater in the public-house, being tooquick and overbearing. He irritated the older men by his assertivemanner, and his cocksureness. They listened in silence, and werenot sorry when he finished.
Dawes interrupted the young man's flow of eloquence by asking,in a loud sneer:
"Did you learn all that at th' theatre th' other night?"
Paul looked at him; their eyes met. Then he knew Dawes hadseen him coming out of the theatre with Clara.
"Why, what about th' theatre?" asked one of Paul's associates,glad to get a dig at the young fellow, and sniffing something tasty.
"Oh, him in a bob-tailed evening suit, on the lardy-da!"sneered Dawes, jerking his head contemptuously at Paul.
"That's comin' it strong," said the mutual friend. "Tart an' all?"
"Tart, begod!" said Dawes.
"Go on; let's have it!" cried the mutual friend.
"You've got it," said Dawes, "an' I reckon Morelly had it an' all."
"Well, I'll be jiggered!" said the mutual friend. "An' was ita proper tart?"
"Tart, God blimey--yes!"
"How do you know?"
"Oh," said Dawes, "I reckon he spent th' night---"
There was a good deal of laughter at Paul's expense.
"But who WAS she? D'you know her?" asked the mutual friend.
"I should SHAY SHO," said Dawes.
This brought another burst of laughter.
"Then spit it out," said the mutual friend.
Dawes shook his head, and took a gulp of beer.
"It's a wonder he hasn't let on himself," he said. "He'll be braggin' of it in a bit."
"Come on, Paul," said the friend; "it's no good. You mightjust as well own up."
"Own up what? That I happened to take a friend to the theatre?"
"Oh well, if it was all right, tell us who she was, lad,"said the friend.
"She WAS all right," said Dawes.
Paul was furious. Dawes wiped his golden moustache withhis fingers, sneering.
"Strike me---! One o' that sort?" said the mutual friend. "Paul, boy, I'm surprised at you. And do you know her, Baxter?"
"Just a bit, like!"
He winked at the other men.
"Oh well," said Paul, "I'll be going!"
The mutual friend laid a detaining hand on his shoulder.
"Nay," he said, "you don't get off as easy as that, my lad. We've got to have a full account of this business."
"Then get it from Dawes!" he said.
"You shouldn't funk your own deeds, man," remonstrated the friend.
Then Dawes made a remark which caused Paul to throw halfa glass of beer in his face.
"Oh, Mr. Morel!" cried the barmaid, and she rang the bellfor the "chucker-out".
Dawes spat and rushed for the young man. At that minutea brawny fellow with his shirt-sleeves rolled up and his trouserstight over his haunches intervened.
"Now, then!" he said, pushing his chest in front of Dawes.
"Come out!" cried Dawes.
Paul was leaning, white and quivering, against the brass railof the bar. He hated Dawes, wished something could exterminatehim at that minute; and at the same time, seeing the wet hair onthe man's forehead, he thought he looked pathetic. He did not move.
"Come out, you ---," said Dawes.
"That's enough, Dawes," cried the barmaid.
"Come on," said the "chucker-out", with kindly insistence,"you'd better be getting on."
And, by making Dawes edge away from his own close proximity,he worked him to the door.
"THAT'S the little sod as started it!" cried Dawes,half-cowed, pointing to Paul Morel.
"Why, what a story, Mr. Dawes!" said the barmaid. "You knowit was you all the time."
Still the "chucker-out" kept thrusting his chest forward at him,still he kept edging back, until he was in the doorway and on thesteps outside; then he turned round.
"All right," he said, nodding straight at his rival.
Paul had a curious sensation of pity, almost of affection,mingled with violent hate, for the man. The coloured door swung to;there was silence in the bar.
"Serve, him, jolly well right!" said the barmaid.
"But it's a nasty thing to get a glass of beer in your eyes,"said the mutual friend.
"I tell you I was glad he did," said the barmaid. "Will youhave another, Mr. Morel?"
She held up Paul's glass questioningly. He nodded.
"He's a man as doesn't care for anything, is Baxter Dawes,"said one.
"Pooh! is he?" said the barmaid. "He's a loud-mouthed one,he is, and they're never much good. Give me a pleasant-spoken chap,if you want a devil!"
"Well, Paul, my lad," said the friend, "you'll have to takecare of yourself now for a while."
"You won't have to give him a chance over you, that's all,"said the barmaid.
"Can you box?" asked a friend.
"Not a bit," he answered, still very white.
"I might give you a turn or two," said the friend.
"Thanks, I haven't time."
And presently he took his departure.
"Go along with him, Mr. Jenkinson," whispered the barmaid,tipping Mr. Jenkinson the wink.
The man nodded, took his hat, said: "Good-night all!"very heartily, and followed Paul, calling:
"Half a minute, old man. You an' me's going the same road,I believe."
"Mr. Morel doesn't like it," said the barmaid. "You'll see,we shan't have him in much more. I'm sorry; he's good company. And Baxter Dawes wants locking up, that's what he wants."
Paul would have died rather than his mother should getto know of this affair. He suffered tortures of humiliationand self-consciousness. There was now a good deal of his lifeof which necessarily he could not speak to his mother. He hada life apart from her--his sexual life. The rest she still kept. But he felt he had to conceal something from her, and it irked him. There was a certain silence between them, and he felt he had,in that silence, to defend himself against her; he felt condemnedby her. Then sometimes he hated her, and pulled at her bondage. His life wanted to free itself of her. It was like a circle where lifeturned back on itself, and got no farther. She bore him, loved him,kept him, and his love turned back into her, so that he could notbe free to go forward with his own life, really love another woman. At this period, unknowingly, he resisted his mother's influence. He did not tell her things; there was a distance between them.
Clara was happy, almost sure of him. She felt she had at lastgot him for herself; and then again came the uncertainty. He toldher jestingly of the affair with her husband. Her colour came up,her grey eyes flashed.
"That's him to a 'T'," she cried--"like a navvy! He's not fitfor mixing with decent folk."
"Yet you married him," he said.
It made her furious that he reminded her.
"I did!" she cried. "But how was I to know?"
"I think he might have been rather nice," he said.
"You think I made him what he is!" she exclaimed.
"Oh no! he made himself. But there's something about him---"
Clara looked at her lover closely. There was something in himshe hated, a sort of detached criticism of herself, a coldnesswhich made her woman's soul harden against him.
"And what are you going to do?" she asked.
"How?"
"About Baxter."
"There's nothing to do, is there?" he replied.
"You can fight him if you have to, I suppose?" she said.
"No; I haven't the least sense of the 'fist'. It's funny. With most men there's the instinct to clench the fist and hit. It's not so with me. I should want a knife or a pistol or somethingto fight with."
"Then you'd better carry something," she said.
"Nay," he laughed; "I'm not daggeroso."
"But he'll do something to you. You don't know him."
"All right," he said, "we'll see."
"And you'll let him?"
"Perhaps, if I can't help it."
"And if he kills you?" she said.
"I should be sorry, for his sake and mine."
Clara was silent for a moment.
"You DO make me angry!" she exclaimed.
"That's nothing afresh," he laughed.
"But why are you so silly? You don't know him."
"And don't want."
"Yes, but you're not going to let a man do as he likes with you?"
"What must I do?" he replied, laughing.
"I should carry a revolver," she said. "I'm sure he's dangerous."
"I might blow my fingers off," he said.
"No; but won't you?" she pleaded.
"No."
"Not anything?"
"No."
"And you'll leave him to---?"
"Yes."
"You are a fool!"
"Fact!"
She set her teeth with anger.
"I could SHAKE you!" she cried, trembling with passion.
"Why?"
"Let a man like HIM do as he likes with you."
"You can go back to him if he triumphs," he said.
"Do you want me to hate you?" she asked.
"Well, I only tell you," he said.
"And YOU say you LOVE me!" she exclaimed, low and indignant.
