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in her apron.

“If I can cure this diseaseI shall earn gold

aplenty! Let Amata bathe!”

Sir Luckless bowedand gestured Amata

towards the Fountainbut she shook her head.

The stream had washed away all regret for her

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

34

loverand she saw now that he had been cruel

and faithlessand that it was happiness enough

to be rid of him.

“Good siryou must batheas a reward for all

your chivalry!” she told Sir Luckless.

So the knight clanked forth in the last rays of

the setting sunand bathed in the Fountain of

Fair Fortuneastonished that he was the chosen

one of hundreds and giddy with his incredible

luck.

As the sun fell below the horizonSir Luckless

emerged from the waters with the glory of his

triumph upon himand flung himself in his

rusted armour at the feet of Amatawho was the

kindest and most beautiful woman he had ever

beheld. Flushed with successhe begged for her

hand and her heartand Amatano less

The Fountain of Fair Fortune

35

delightedrealised that she had found a man

worthy of them.

The three witches and the knight set off down

the hill togetherarm in armand all four led

long and happy livesand none of them ever

knew or suspected that the Fountain’s waters

carried no enchantment at all.

Albus Dumbledore on

“The Fountain of Fair Fortune”

36

“The Fountain of Fair Fortune” is a perennial

favouriteso much so that it was the subject of the

sole attempt to introduce a Christmas pantomime

to Hogwarts’ festive celebrations.

Our then Herbology masterProfessor Herbert

Beery

1 an enthusiastic devotee of amateur dramat-

icsproposed an adaptation of this well-beloved

children’s tale as a Yuletide treat for staff and stu-

dents. I was then a young Transfiguration teacher

and Herbert assigned me to “special effects”which

1 Professor Beery eventually left Hogwarts to teach at W.A.D.A.

(Wizarding Academy of Dramatic Arts)wherehe once confessed to

mehe maintained a strong aversion to mounting performances of this

particular storybelieving it to be unlucky.

Professor Dumbledore’s Notes

37

included providing a fully functioning Fountain of

Fair Fortune and a miniature grassy hillup which

our three heroines and hero would appear to

marchwhile it sank slowly into the stage and out

of sight.

I think I may saywithout vanitythat both my

Fountain and my Hill performed the parts allotted

to them with simple goodwill. Alasthat the same

could not be said of the rest of the cast. Ignoring

for a moment the antics of the gigantic “Worm”

provided by our Care of Magical Creatures teacher

Professor Silvanus Kettleburnthe human element

proved disastrous to the show. Professor Beeryin

his role of directorhad been dangerously oblivious

to the emotional entanglements seething under his

very nose. Little did he know that the students

playing Amata and Sir Luckless had been

boyfriend and girlfriend until one hour before the

curtain roseat which point “Sir Luckless” trans-

ferred his affections to “Asha”.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

38

Suffice it to say that our seekers after Fair

Fortune never made it to the top of the Hill. The

curtain had barely risen when Professor

Kettleburn’s “Worm” – now revealed to be an

Ashwinder

2 with an Engorgement Charm upon it

– exploded in a shower of hot sparks and dust

filling the Great Hall with smoke and fragments of

scenery. While the enormous fiery eggs it had laid

at the foot of my Hill ignited the floorboards

“Amata” and “Asha” turned upon each other

duelling so fiercely that Professor Beery was

caught in the crossfireand staff had to evacuate

the Hallas the inferno now raging onstage

threatened to engulf the place. The night’s enter-

tainment concluded with a packed hospital wing;

it was several months before the Great Hall lost its

2 See Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them for a definitive description of

this curious beast. It ought never to be voluntarily introduced into a

wood-panelled roomnor have an Engorgement Charm placed upon it.

Professor Dumbledore’s Notes

39

pungent aroma of wood smokeand even longer

before Professor Beery’s head reassumed its normal

proportionsand Professor Kettleburn was taken

off probation.

3 Headmaster Armando Dippet

imposed a blanket ban on future pantomimesa

proud non-theatrical tradition that Hogwarts con-

tinues to this day.

Our dramatic fiasco notwithstanding“The

Fountain of Fair Fortune” is probably the most

popular of Beedle’s talesalthoughjust like “The

Wizard and the Hopping Pot”it has its detractors.

More than one parent has demanded the removal

of this particular tale from the Hogwarts library

3 Professor Kettleburn survived no fewer than sixty-two periods of

probation during his employment as Care of Magical Creatures

teacher. His relations with my predecessor at HogwartsProfessor Dippet

were always strainedProfessor Dippet considering him to be somewhat

reckless. By the time I became HeadmasterhoweverProfessor

Kettleburn had mellowed considerablyalthough there were always those

who took the cynical view that with only one and a half of his original

limbs remaining to himhe was forced to take life at a quieter pace.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

40

includingby coincidencea descendant of Brutus

Malfoy and one-time member of the Hogwarts

Board of GovernorsMr Lucius Malfoy. Mr Malfoy

submitted his demand for a ban on the story in

writing:

Any work of fiction or non-fiction that depicts

interbreeding between wizards and Muggles should

be banned from the bookshelves of Hogwarts. I do

not wish my son to be influenced into sullying the

purity of his bloodline by reading stories that

promote wizard–Muggle marriage.

My refusal to remove the book from the library

was backed by a majority of the Board of

Governors. I wrote back to Mr Malfoyexplaining

my decision:

So-called pure-blood families maintain their

alleged purity by disowningbanishing or lying

Professor Dumbledore’s Notes

41

about Muggles or Muggle-borns on their family

trees. They then attempt to foist their hypocrisy

upon the rest of us by asking us to ban works

dealing with the truths they deny. There is not a

witch or wizard in existence whose blood has not

mingled with that of Mugglesand I should there-

fore consider it both illogical and immoral to

remove works dealing with the subject from our stu-

dents’ store of knowledge.

4

This exchange marked the beginning of Mr

Malfoy’s long campaign to have me removed from

my post as Headmaster of Hogwartsand of mine

to have him removed from his position as Lord

Voldemort’s Favourite Death Eater.

4 My response prompted several further letters from Mr Malfoybut as they

consisted mainly of opprobrious remarks on my sanityparentage and

hygienetheir relevance to this commentary is remote.

45

There was once a handsomerich and talented

young warlockwho observed that his friends

grew foolish when they fell in lovegambolling

and preeninglosing their appetites and their

dignity. The young warlock resolved never to fall

prey to such weaknessand employed Dark Arts

to ensure his immunity.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

46

Unaware of his secretthe warlock’s family

laughed to see him so aloof and cold.

“All will change” they prophesied“when a

maid catches his fancy!”

But the young warlock’s fancy remained

untouched. Though many a maiden was

intrigued by his haughty mienand employed

her most subtle arts to please himnone suc-

ceeded in touching his heart. The warlock

gloried in his indifference and the sagacity that

had produced it.

The first freshness of youth wanedand the

warlock’s peers began to wedand then to bring

forth children.

“Their hearts must be husks” he sneered

inwardlyas he observed the antics of the young

parents around him“shrivelled by the demands

of these mewling offspring!”

The Warlock’s Hairy Heart

47

And once again he congratulated himself upon

the wisdom of his early choice.

In due coursethe warlock’s aged parents died.

Their son did not mourn them; on the contrary

he considered himself blessed by their demise.

Now he reigned alone in their castle. Having

transferred his greatest treasure to the deepest

dungeonhe gave himself over to a life of ease

and plentyhis comfort the only aim of his many

servants.

The warlock was sure that he must be an object

of immense envy to all who beheld his splendid

and untroubled solitude. Fierce were his anger

and chagrinthereforewhen he overheard two of

his lackeys discussing their master one day.

The first servant expressed pity for the warlock

whowith all his wealth and powerwas yet

beloved by nobody.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

48

But his companion jeeredasking why a man

with so much gold and a palatial castle to his

name had been unable to attract a wife.

Their words dealt dreadful blows to the

listening warlock’s pride.

He resolved at once to take a wifeand that

she would be a wife superior to all others. She

would possess astounding beautyexciting envy

and desire in every man who beheld her; she

would spring from magical lineageso that their

offspring would inherit outstanding magical

gifts; and she would have wealth at least equal

to his ownso that his comfortable existence

would be assuredin spite of additions to his

household.

It might have taken the warlock fifty years to

find such a womanyet it so happened that

the very day after he decided to seek hera

The Warlock’s Hairy Heart

49

maiden answering his every wish arrived in the

neighbourhood to visit her kinsfolk.

She was a witch of prodigious skill and pos-

sessed of much gold. Her beauty was such that it

tugged at the heart of every man who set eyes on

her; of every manthat isexcept one. The

warlock’s heart felt nothing at all. Nevertheless

she was the prize he soughtso he began to pay

her court.

All who noticed the warlock’s change in

manners were amazedand told the maiden

that she had succeeded where a hundred had

failed.

The young woman herself was both fascinated

and repelled by the warlock’s attentions. She

sensed the coldness that lay behind the warmth

of his flatteryand had never met a man so

strange and remote. Her kinsfolkhowever

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

50

deemed theirs a most suitable match and

eager to promote itaccepted the warlock’s

invitation to a great feast in the maiden’s

honour.

The table was laden with silver and

gold bearing the finest wines and most

sumptuous foods. Minstrels strummed on

silk-stringed lutes and sang of a love their

master had never felt. The maiden sat upon a

throne beside the warlockwho spake low

employing words of tenderness he had stolen

from the poetswithout any idea of their true

meaning.

The maiden listenedpuzzledand finally

replied“You speak wellWarlockand I would

be delighted by your attentionsif only I

thought you had a heart!”

The warlock smiledand told her that she

The Warlock’s Hairy Heart

51

need not fear on that

score. Bidding her follow

he led her from the feast

and down to the locked

dungeon where he kept his

greatest treasure.

Herein an enchanted

crystal casketwas the warlock’s

beating heart.

Long since disconnected from eyesears

and fingersit had never fallen prey to beautyor

to a musical voiceto the feel of silken skin. The

maiden was terrified by the sight of itfor the

heart was shrunken and covered in long black

hair.

“Ohwhat have you done?” she lamented. “Put

it back where it belongsI beseech you!”

Seeing that this was necessary to please her

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

52

the warlock drew his wandunlocked the crystal

casketsliced open his own breast and replaced

the hairy heart in the empty cavity it had once

occupied.

“Now you are healed and will know true

love!” cried the maidenand she embraced

him.

The touch of her soft white armsthe sound of

her breath in his earthe scent of her heavy gold

hair: all pierced the newly awakened heart like

spears. But it had grown strange during its long

exileblind and savage in the darkness to which

it had been condemnedand its appetites had

grown powerful and perverse.

The guests at the feast had noticed the absence

of their host and the maiden. At first un-

troubledthey grew anxious as the hours passed

and finally began to search the castle.

The Warlock’s Hairy Heart

53

They found the dungeon at lastand a most

dreadful sight awaited them there.

The maiden lay dead upon the floorher

breast cut openand beside her crouched the

mad warlockholding in one bloody hand a

greatsmoothshining scarlet heartwhich he

licked and strokedvowing to exchange it for

his own.

In his other handhe held his wandtrying to

coax from his own chest the shrivelledhairy

heart. But the hairy heart was stronger than he

wasand refused to relinquish its hold upon his

senses or to return to the coffin in which it had

been locked for so long.

Before the horror-struck eyes of his gueststhe

warlock cast aside his wandand seized a silver

dagger. Vowing never to be mastered by his own

hearthe hacked it from his chest.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

54

For one momentthe warlock knelt tri-

umphantwith a heart clutched in each hand;

then he fell across the maiden’s bodyand died.

Albus Dumbledore on

“The Warlock’s Hairy Heart”

55

As we have already seenBeedle’s first two

tales attracted criticism of their themes of generos-

itytolerance and love. “The Warlock’s Hairy

Heart”howeverdoes not appear to have been

modified or much criticised in the hundreds of

years since it was first written; the story as I even-

tually read it in the original runes was almost