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our footbinding behind us, Madame Wang negotiated the Contracting a Kin phase for allthree of our marriages. Our eight characters were matched with our future husbands’ andengagement dates selected.

Just as Madame Wang predicted, the perfection of my golden lilies led me to a fortuitous betrothal. She arranged for me to be married into the best Lu family in Tongkou. My husband’s uncle was a jinshi scholar, who had received much land from the emperor as an enfeoffment. Uncle Lu, as he was called, was childless. He lived in the capital and reliedon his brother to oversee his holdings. Since my father-in-law served as headman of thevillage—renting tracts to farmers and collecting rents—everyone assumed my husbandwould become the future headman. Beautiful Moon was going to marry into a lesser Lufamily nearby. Her betrothed was the son of a farmer who worked four times as many mou as Baba and Uncle. To us, this seemed prosperous, but it was still far, far less than what my future father-in-law controlled on his brother’s behalf.

“Beautiful Moon, Lily,” Madame Wang said, “you two are as close as sisters. Now you willbe like my sister and me. We both married into Tongkou. Though we have both sufferedmisfortune, we are lucky to have spent our whole lives together.” And truly, BeautifulMoon and I were grateful that we would continue to share everything, from our riceandsalt

days as wives and mothers to sitting quietly as widows.

Snow Flower had to marry out of Tongkou, but she would be close by in Jintian—Open Field Village. Madame Wang guaranteed that Beautiful Moon and I would be able to see Jintian and possibly even Snow Flower’s window from our new lattice windows. We didn’t hear much about the family Snow Flower was marrying into, except that her betrothed was born in the year of the rooster. This concerned us, because everyone knows this is not an ideal match, since the rooster wants to sit on the horse’s back.

“Don’t worry, girls,” Madame Wang assured us. “The diviner has studied the elements ofwater, fire, metal, earth, and wood. I promise this is not a case where water and fire willhave to live together. Everything will be fine,” she said, and we believed her. Our grooms’ families delivered the first gifts of money, candy, and meat. Aunt and Uncle received a leg of pork, while Mama and Baba received an entire roasted pig, which was cut up and sentto our relatives in Puwei as gifts. Our parents reciprocated with gifts to the grooms’ families of eggs and rice to symbolize our fertility. Then we waited for the second stage tobegin, when our future in-laws would Deliver the Date for our weddings.

Imagine how happy we were. Our futures were settled. Our new families were higher than our own. We were still young enough to believe that our kind hearts would win over any difficulties with our mothers-in-law. We were busy with our handiwork. But most ofall we were glad to be in each other’s company.

Aunt continued to teach us nu shu, but we also learned from Snow Flower, who broughtnew characters with her every time she visited. Some she got from sneaking peeks at her brother’s studies, since many nu shu characters are only italicized versions of men’s第 47 页 共 189 页

characters, but others came ’from Snow Flowers mother, who was extremely well versedin our women’s secret writing. We spent hours practicing them, tracing the strokes withour fingers on each other’s palms. Always Aunt cautioned us to be careful with our words,since by using phonetic characters, as opposed to the pictographic characters of men’swriting, our meanings could become lost or confused.

“Every word must be placed in context,” she reminded us each day at the end of ourlesson. “Much tragedy could result from a wrong reading.” With that admonitionexpressed, Aunt then rewarded us with the romantic story of the local woman whoinvented our secret writing.

“Long ago in Song times, perhaps more than one thousand years ago,” she recounted,“Emperor Song Zhezong searched through the realm for a new concubine. He traveled far,finally coming to our county, where he heard of a farmer named Hu, a man of somelearning and good sense who lived in the village of Jintian—yes, Jintian, where our SnowFlower will live when she marries out. Master Hu had a son who was a scholar, a veryhigh-ranking young man who had done well in the imperial exams, but the person whomost intrigued the emperor was the farmer’s eldest daughter. Her name was Yuxiu. Shewas not an entirely worthless branch, for her father had seen to her education. She couldrecite classical poetry and she had learned men’s writing. She could sing and dance. Herembroidery was fine and delicate. All this convinced the emperor that she would make afine royal concubine. He visited Master Hu, negotiated for his clever daughter, and soonenough Yuxiu was on her way to the capital. A happy ending? In some ways. Master Hureceived many gifts and Yuxiu was guaranteed a courtly life of jade and silk. But, girls, Itell you that even someone as bright and cultivated as Yuxiu could not avoid that sadmoment of departure from her natal family. Oh, how the tears poured down her mother’scheeks! Oh, how her sisters wept in sadness! But none of them were as sad as Yuxiu.”

We’d learned this part of the story well. Yuxiu’s separation from her family was just thebeginning of her woes. Even with all her talents, she could not keep the emperor amusedforever. He grew tired of her prett moon face, her almond eyes, her cherry mouth, whileher talents—as noteworthy as they

yy were here in Yongming County—were insignificantcompared to those of the other ladies of the court. Poor Yuxiu. She was no match forpalace intrigues. The other wives and concubines had no use for the country girl. She waslonely and sad but had no way to communicate with her mother and sisters withoutothers finding out. An incautious word from her could result in decapitation or beingthrown into one of the palace wells to silence her forever.

“Day and night, Yuxiu kept her emotions to herself,” Aunt went on. “The wicked women ofthe court and the eunuchs watched her as she quietly did her embroidery or practicedher calligraphy. All the time they made fun of her work. ‘It’s too sloppy,’ they’d say. Or,‘Look how that country monkey tries to copy men’s writing.’ Every word that came fromtheir mouths was cruel, but Yuxiu was not trying to copy men’s writing. She was changingit, slanting it, feminizing it, and eventually creating entirely new characters that had little第 48 页 共 189 页

or nothing to do with men’s writing. She was quietly inventing a secret code so she couldwrite home to her mother and sisters.”

Snow Flower and I had often asked how Yuxiu’s mother and sisters had been able to readthe secret code, and today Aunt wove her answer into the story.

“Perhaps a sympathetic eunuch slipped out a letter from Yuxiu that explained everything.Or perhaps her sisters didn’t know what the note said, tossed it aside, and in its skewedstate they saw and interpreted the italicized characters. Then, over time, the women ofthat family invented new phonetic characters, which they grew to understand fromcontext, just as you girls are learning to do right now. But these are the kinds ofparticulars that men would care about.” She delivered this reprimand sternly, remindingus that these questions weren’t our concern. “What we should carry away from Yuxiu’slife is that she found a way to share what was happening beneath her happy surface lifeand that her gift has been passed down through countless generations to us.”

For a moment we were quiet, thinking of that lonely concubine. Aunt began to sing firstand the three of us joined in, while Mama listened. It was a sad song, one reputed to havecome straight from Hu Yuxiu’s own mouth. Our voices poured out her sorrow: “Mywriting is soaked with the tears of my heart, An invisible rebellion that no man can see.Let our life stories become tragic art. Oh, Mama, oh, sisters, hear me, hear me.”

The last notes floated out the lattice window and down the alley. “Remember, girls,” Auntsaid. “Not all men are emperors, but all girls marry out. Yuxiu invented nu shu for thewomen in our county to keep our ties to our natal families.”

We picked up our needles and started embroidering. The next day, Aunt would tell us thestory again.

the year snow Flower and I turned thirteen our learning came at us from every direction,and we were expected to help in all the usual ways. Where Snow Flower’s womenfolk hadexcelled in teaching her the refined arts, they had failed miserably with the domestic arts,so she shadowed me as I did my chores. We rose at dawn and started the cooking fire.After Snow Flower and I washed the dishes, we mixed the pig’s meal. At midday, we wentoutside for a few minutes to pick fresh vegetables from the kitchen garden; then we madelunch. Mama and Aunt once did all these tasks. Now they su ervised us. Afternoons werespent in the women’s chamber. When evening came, we help

pped prepare and serve dinner.

Every minute of every day involved lessons. The girls in our household— and I includeSnow Flower in this—tried to be good students.

Beautiful Moon was best at making thread and yarn, tasks that Snow Flower and I had nopatience for. I liked to cook but was less interested in weaving, sewing, and making shoes.None of us liked to clean, but Snow Flower was terrible at it. Mama and Aunt didn’tchastise her as they did my cousin and me if we didn’t sweep the floor well enough or

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didn’t get all of the dirt out ’of our fatherstunics. I thought they were lenient with Snow Flower because they knew she would have servants one day and would never have to dothese things herself. I looked at her failure differently. She would never learn to clean properly, because she seemed to float above and apart from the practicalities of life.

We also learned from the men in my family, though not in the way you might expect. Babaand Uncle would never teach us anything directly. That would have been improper. WhatI mean is that I learned about men through Snow Flower’s actions and the way Baba and Uncle reacted to them. Congee is one of the easiest things to make—just rice, a lot ofwater, and stirring, stirring, stirring—so we let Snow Flower make this for breakfast.When she saw that Baba liked scallions, she made sure that an extra handful was added tohis bowl. At dinner, Mama and Aunt had always silently put the plates on the table and letBaba and Uncle serve themselves; Snow Flower circled the table, keeping her headlowered and offering each dish, first to Baba, then Uncle, then Elder Brother, then Second Brother. She always stood just far enough away not to be too intimate but at the same time to exude graciousness. I learned that through her small attentions to them, they refrained from shoveling food in their mouths, spitting on the floor, or scratching theirfull stomachs. Instead, they smiled and talked to her.

My desire for knowledge went far beyond what I needed to know in the upstairs women’schamber, in downstairs areas, or even with the study of nu shu. I wanted to know aboutmy future. Fortunately, Snow Flower loved to talk, and she talked a lot about Tongkou. By now she had traveled often between our two villages and had learned the route well.“When you go to your husband,” she told me, “you will pass over the river and throughmany rice paddies, heading for the low hills that you can see from the edge of Puwei.Tongkou nestles in the arms of those hills. They will never falter and neither will we, atleast that’s what my baba says. In Tongkou, we are protected from earthquake, famine,and marauders. It is feng shui perfect.”

Listening to Snow Flower, Tongkou grew in my imagination, but this was nothingcompared to how I felt when she talked about my husband and my future in-laws. Neither Beautiful Moon nor I were present at the discussion that Madame Wang had with our fathers, but we were familiar with the basics: Everyone who lived in Tongkou was a Lu,and both families were prosperous. These things interested our fathers, but we wanted toknow about our husbands, our mothers-in-law, and the other women in our upstairs chambers. Only Snow Flower could give us the answers. “You are lucky, Lily,” Snow Flower said one day. “I have seen this Lu boy. He is my cousin twice removed. His hair isthe blue-black of night. He is kind to girls. He once shared a moon cake with me. He didn’thave to do that.” She told me that my future husband was born in the year of the tiger, asign that is as spirited as mine, which made us perfectly suited. She told me things Iwould need to know to fit into the Lu family. “It is a busy household,” she explained. “As the headman, Master Lu receives numerous visitors from inside and outside the village.Beyond this, many people live in the house. There are no daughters, but daughters-in-law will marry in. You will be daughter-in-law number one. Your ranking will be high to start.

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If you have a son first, your ranking will hold true forever. This does not mean you won’thave the same sorts of problems as Yuxiu, the emperor’s concubine. Even though MasterLu’s wife has given him four sons, he has three concubines. He must have them, becausehe is the headman. They help show the people his strength.”

I should have worried more about this. After all, if the father took concubines, the sonprobably would as well. But I was so young and innocent, this didn’t cross my mind. Andeven if it had, I wouldn’t have known the conflicts that could arise. My world was still justMama and Baba, Aunt and Uncle—simple, simple.

Snow Flower turned to Beautiful Moon, who, as always, attended to us quietly, waiting forus to include her. Snow Flower said, “Beautiful Moon, I am happy for you. I know this Lufamily very well. Your future husband, as you know, was born in the year of the boar. Hischaracteristics are to be sturdy, gallant, and thoughtful, while your sheep nature willcause you to dote on him. This is another perfectly suited match.”

“What about my mother-in-law?” Beautiful Moon inquired tentatively. “This Madame Luvisits my mother every day. She has a kind heart, kinder than I could ever tell you.”

Tears suddenly welled in Snow Flower’s eyes. It was so strange that Beautiful Moon and Igiggled, thinking it was some sort of joke. My laotong blinked quickly.

“A ghost got in my eyes!” Snow Flower exclaimed, before joining in our laughter. Then shepicked up where she left off. “Beautiful Moon, you will be very content. They will love youwholeheartedly. And the best part is every day you will be able to walk to Lily’s house.That’s how close you will be to each other.”

Snow Flower cast her eyes back to me. “Your mother-in-law is very traditional,” she said.“She follows all the women’s rules. She is careful in what she says. She is well attired. Andwhen guests come, hot tea is always at the ready.” Since Snow Flower had been teachingme to do these things, I was not afraid of making a mistake. “There are more servants inthe house than I have had in my family,” Snow Flower continued. “You will not have tocook, except to make special dishes for Lady Lu. You will not have to nurse your babyunless you want to.”