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Tess pulled out a chair for him. "I'm trying to figure out how to make jam."Both men looked uncomfortable with her response.

"Sit down, Mrs. Rafferty," Doc said.

"But your water?"

"Sit down."

Tess shrugged easily and sat in front of the doctor. "Okay. Sure." "How do you feel?""Fit as a fiddle."He frowned. "Really?"

"Really. Things are going great around here. I'm fitting right in." "And the baby?"Tess smiled softly. "Oh, Caleb is doing beautifully. He's already grown so much. I had a little trouble breastfeeding at first, but now it's going great."Doc shot a sideways glance at Jack. "Sorry, Jack, but I have to ask this." Jack nodded tensely.

Doc turned back to Tess. "Do you remember coming to me when you first conceived?" "No."Doc paused for a moment, as if carefully considering his words. "You wanted to ..." He blushed slightly. His voice deepened. "Well, you weren't happy about the baby."Tess gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my God. You mean I wanted to terminate the pregnancy?""Yes."Impulsively Tess reached out and took the old man's hands in hers, squeezing his big-knuckled fingers affectionately. "Thank God you didn't." Tears stung her eyes. "Thank God."Doc studied her, his rheumy eyes narrowed behind the small ovals of his spectacles. "What's your husband's name?" "Jack.""His whole name.""Jack Rafferty."

He looked at Jack, who shook his head.

Quietly Jack said, "Jackson Beauregard Rafferty the Third."Tess's eyes widened. "You're kidding. That's a great name."Doc gave her hands a quick squeeze, then got slowly to his feet. "Nice to see you again, Mrs. Rafferty. Jack, walk me to the wagon."The two men left the kitchen and headed slowly across the yard. Beneath the oak tree's huge canopy, Doc touched Jack's arm and they stopped.

Tess eased the curtain open slightly and peered at the two men, her eyes focused on their lips.

"What the hell's wrong with her. Doc?" "Amnesia, I reckon.""How long will it last?""Who knows? Could be you got yourself a new wife. Could be the old one'II be back tomorrow.""You mean, these changes could be ... real?""The brain's a funny thing, Jack. Ain't nobody understands it. Damn sure not a country doctor like me.""Damn it, Doc, that isn't good enough. These changes are killing me. She's so ... different."The doctor patted Jack's shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you, son. Just be patient. I'm sure she'll be her old self in no time."Jack stiffened. "Yeah. That's what I'm afraid of." Tess let the curtain flutter back into place. Then, slowly,she smiled. Jack was afraid of her. It was a reaction, and it wasn't anger. The plan was working.

Chapter Ten

Savannah tucked her feet underneath her and plopped her lunch pail on her lap. Sunlight streamed through the pine needles overhead, spangling her brown muslin skirt.

Katie sat silently beside her, burrowing through her tin pail.

Savannah sat back on her heels, staring down the grassy hillside. She was so intent on her own thoughts, she didn't hear the crunching of footsteps coming her way.

"Savannah?"

She looked up with a start and found Jeffie Peters standing beside her. He was staring down at her, his lard tin clutched to his chest with white-knuckled fists. His face was paler than usual. "C'n I set with you?"Savannah's throat seized up. Her stomach gurgled loudly and threatened to embarrass her. She opened her mouth to say no.

"Sure, Jeffie," Katie said, taking a crunchy bite of pickle.

Color rose in Jeffie's face like a wave of red paint. "Thanks!" He dropped to his knees beside Savannah and began earnestly rummaging through his lard tin.

Savannah's mouth closed with a click of teeth. Stiffening, she lowered her lashes and studied Jeffie.

He looked .. . nervous. His fingers were all fidgety and clumsy as he peeled the thin cheesecloth away from his wedge of cornbread.

Suddenly he looked sideways and caught her watching him.

Heat blazed across Savannah's cheeks. She wrenched her gaze away and buried it in the ankle-high grass.

"Savannah?"

Reluctantly she glanced his way. "Yeah?"He blushed. "I was wonderin' ... I mean, the shearin' dance is comin' up, an'?""That ain't for weeks," Katie interrupted.

Jeffie shot her an irritated look, then swallowed hard. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down his skinny throat. "Anyway, it ain't that far away, an', well ... I was wonderin' if you'd go with me." He stared at her through huge, earnest eyes.

A confusing rush of emotions hurtled through Savannah. For no reason at all, she felt like crying. "I can't." "But?"Savannah's mouth trembled and turned down. "You know my mama. I couldn't even if ..." "Even if what?" She swallowed the lump in her throat and said quietly, "Even if I wanted to.""Oh." Jeffie carefully wrapped up his crumbling cornbread and plunked it back in his pail. Slowly he got to his feet. " 'Bye," he said, then turned and walked away.

Savannah stared at the ground through the stinging haze of unshed tears.

"Maybe you should talk to Mama," Katie offered. "She's been sorta ... nice lately."Savannah's pent-up breath released. "What would I say? She wouldn't understand what's wrong with me.""There ain't nothin' wrong with you," Katie answered defensively. "You're perfect."Savannah gave her baby sister a weak smile. "Thanks. Now, eat your lunch."They lapsed back into a companionable silence. Savannah tried to concentrate on eating, only eating and nothing more. But Katie's words came back to her time and again.

Talk to Mama.

If only I could, she thought.

She bit into her slice of bread and chewed tiredly. Of course she couldn't talk to Mama; there was no doubt about that. It had been years since she'd even tried. Mama would just tell her what she already knew: She was acting plum crazy around Jeffie Peters. There wasn't no chance at all Mama would tell her what she really wanted to know.

Why she was acting that way.

Craaack. The ax slammed into the thick log and split it down the middle. Jack paused, backhanded the sweat from his brow, and realigned the half log.

As he raised the ax again, he heard a strange sound. He paused, listening.

A sweet sound rode the gentle spring breeze, underscoring the gay chirping of the swallows and finches careening overhead. The song was at once familiar and unfamiliar, with a strange stop-and-start rhythm, as if the words had been memorized but never actually heard before. But the voice?ah, the voice?now, that was something he'd never forget.

He turned slowly, knowing as he did that it was a mistake.

Amarylis was sitting on the porch swing, singing Caleb the strangest version of "Rock-a-bye Baby" he'd ever heard. The wistful strains of her song brought a bittersweet smile to Jack's mouth. No wonder the song sounded strange; she'd never sung to her children before.

If only. The thought was there before he could stop it.

If only she were really the loving, gentle soul she appeared right now. He thought about the bath, remembering the almost narcotic sense of peace it had given him to be ministered to by her. For a few short moments it had been like the old days, when he'd trusted her with his soul and crawled eagerly into her bed. When he hadn't been afraid.

She looked up suddenly and saw him. Their eyes locked, his narrowed and filled with a longing he couldn't dislodge, hers wide and filled with joy. She smiled brightly and waved him over.

He shouldn't go; he knew that. He should turn his back on her and keep cutting firewood. But he wanted to go. Just this once. The ax slipped from his hand and hit the dirt. Shoving the Stetson higher on his brow, he sidestepped the pile of half-chopped wood and headed toward her.

She was still smiling when he reached the porch.

"Hi," she said quietly, scooting sideways in silent invitation.

He stared at the empty space beside her. Damn, it looked inviting....

"Have a seat," she said when he didn't move.

He swallowed thickly and forced his gaze to her face shouldn't...." She smiled. "I won't bite."The look in her eyes drew him like a magnet, stole his free will. Before he knew it, he was climbing the steps and sitting down beside her. The porch swing creaked beneath his weight.

He stared out across the rolling, sheep-filled pasture, his eyes riveted ahead, his hands balled in his lap.

Silence descended between them. The hot sun bore down on him, seeping through his shirt and dampening his flesh. He waited for her to say something angry and stinging;she waited for the same thing. Then they both spoke at once.

"Sure is hot?"

"Nice weather?"

Amarylis burst out laughing. It was a throaty, seductive sound that wound around Jack's vitals. "So," she said, "it seems we agree on the weather, at least."Jack fought the urge to smile with her. Then the fact that he wanted to smile sunk in and caused a red-hot burst of anger. Damn her for being so good at manipulating him, and damn him for being such a weak-willed fool. He rammed the hat lower on his forehead and lurched to his feet.

"I ... I gotta get back to the woodpile."She looked up at him. There was a sadness in her gaze that hadn't been there before, and he had the absurd notion that he'd hurt her feelings. "It was nice talking to you."Jack pivoted and strode down the steps. It was all he could do to keep from running.

Later that night Tess sat at the kitchen table with Savannah. Behind them, Katie was busy burrowing through the silverware drawer.

Idly, Tess picked up her spoon and stared into it. She tried not to think about Jack right now, but it was impossible. Ever since last night, since the bath, she'd been unable to stop thinking about him. Dreaming about him. She felt like a sixteen-year-old girl in the throes of her first crush. It was ridiculous.

A slow smile pulled at her mouth. It was also exciting, invigorating, and energizing. Now she was more certain than ever that there was something special between her and Jack. She knew now why she'd chosen him, and it was more than just the heartache and fear she'd seen in his eyes as he reached out for his child. It was his capacity for love. For even as she'd seen him standing by the crib, she'd known that he was desperately afraid to be there, afraid to need his child's love, and yet, as afraid as he was, he'd stayed there, reaching out. Most people retreated from life and gave up on love. Tess knew; she'd done it herself. But not Jack. He'd sheathed himself in anger and tried his best to forget, but he'd never walked away. And that meant he'd never given up.

Last night, in the moments before he'd fallen asleep, she'd seen her first glimpse of the real Jack, the man beneath the angry mask. And he was a frightened, lonely man who was tired of being alone. So much like her ...

She thought about the times she'd caught him smiling, or looking at the girls with love, or carving a rocking horse in the middle of the night, and her heart swelled with emotion. At the memories, something inside of her broke free. Deep inside her, in the tiny, oft-overlooked corner of her soul where she'd long ago put her dreams of love and family and forever, something stirred. Something that had been asleep for a very long time.

Tess felt the heavy weight of Savannah's gaze on her face. She looked up suddenly, and found Savannah staring at her intently. "What is it, Savannah?" she asked quietly.

Savannah shook her head slowly. A sad little frown plucked at her mouth. "Nothin'."Tess reached over and squeezed Savannah's hand. Their eyes met and held. "You know, Savannah," Tess whispered, "I'm here for you if you ever need me. For anything."Savannah swallowed hard. "Th-Thanks, Mama."Katie thumped her elbows on the table. "Mama, you promised to show me how you done that thing with the spoon."Tess smiled and slowly withdrew her hand from Savannah's. "Okay," she said. "Here goes. First you blow on it.

Like this." Tess blew on the spoon until it steamed up nicely. "See? When it looks like that, you stick it on your nose." She placed the spoon on her nose like an expert.

"It works!" Katie cried, clapping her hands.

The spoon fell off Tess's nose and hit the table with a clang. "Of course it does. A mother never lies."Savannah's eyes narrowed. "Really?"Tess's smile faded as she looked at Savannah. There was a long, quiet moment as they studied each other. Tess got the distinct impression that she was being tested. "Really.""C'n I try it?" Katie asked eagerly.

Tess and Savannah looked at each other for another second or two, and then Tess turned to Katie and nodded. "Of course you may."Katie frowned in concentration. Cautiously she blew into the bowl of her soup spoon. The metal turned a dull, milky gray, and she gently set it on her nose. The spoon stuck fast.

Her eyes bulged open in surprise, and a quick, excited giggle dislodged the spoon. It clinked onto her empty plate.

"Okay," Tess said. "Now all together."Jack stared at the house. Advancing night shrouded the small clapboard structure, turning the whitewashed wood a deep gunmetal gray. The porch railing was nothing but dark lines and shadows cast along pale wooden planks.

Wind chattered through the leaves of the oak tree. The rope-swing's slatted seat thumped methodically against his left leg.

Jack's gaze moved up the porch and along the shadowy building. Thin, ghostlike strands of smoke spiraled up from the brick chimney, its trail a momentary whisper of gray against the midnight blue sky. Amber light blurred the kitchen window, made it look like a square of captured sunlight in the middle of a cold, darkening night.

The kitchen curtains were open, as if the inhabitants were no longer soldiers under siege, but, quite simply, a farm family waiting for someone to come in from the fields. The house he'd built so many years ago looked like something it had never been: a home.