第 29 页

The gourd-seed buttons on her half gown seemed to magically dissolve beneath his fingers. She felt the thin fabric pull away from her body and fall to the floor. Tess tensed. A small, mouselike sound squeaked past her trembling lips. She felt achingly vulnerable. It was all she could do not to cover herself. "Lissa?"She opened her eyes and looked up at him. His gaze locked with hers, and in his eyes was a restless longing, a need, that mirrored her own. Then slowly?so slowly? he unlaced her corset and pushed the utilitarian contraption away from her skin. Cool air breezed across her flesh, hardened her nipples.

Candlelight bathed the creamy softness of her breasts, undulated across her stomach in golden waves. Her hair, spread out across the grayed pillows, glittered like gold dust.

He traced the pale outline of her breasts with his hands and leaned down to kiss the full swell above her nipple. "Jesus, you're beautiful," he whispered. With those simple words, Jack freed her. His hot breath wafted across her nipples and set off another flurry of goose bumps. Need coursed through her body, melted her insides, and suddenly she had to be closer, had to feel the heat of his skin against hers.

She pressed up on her elbows; he bent down. Their mouths came together in a hungry kiss. Tess wound her arms around his neck and clung to him. His chest was hot and damp against her nipples. The tingle between her legs deepened into an almost painful throbbing.

As they kissed, his hand roamed down her quivering stomach and slid across the throbbing center of her desire. She shuddered and strained up for his touch. But the brief caress was a tease and nothing more. His hand moved downward, along her thigh to her ankle. With strong, sure hands, he shoved her skirt up to her waist. Once again she felt the coolness of the night air against her hot flesh.

The skirt and drawers seemed to melt off her body. His gaze turned to liquid fire and slid down her naked body. She lay still and trembling beneath his perusal, her hair fanned out in a tangle around her face, her breasts shuddering in shallow, expectant breaths.

His hand curled around her throat, moving slowly downward, as if he were savoring the velvet-soft feel of her flesh. Her pulse thrummed and beat beneath his fingertips.

She swallowed thickly, nervously, trying not to be frightened by the intensity of her need. She'd never wanted anything, anyone, as much as she wanted him right now.

"Jack." His name slipped past her lips in a whisper of longing.

"Touch me," he said in a harsh, ragged voice that matched her own. She knew then that it wasn't just her. He was also out of control.

The realization gave her confidence. She took a deep, shuddering breath and let go of her fear.

The moment she made the decision, her inhibitions melted away. Without them, she was left ragged and aching for his touch, desperate for the feel of his flesh against hers. With trembling fingers, she grabbed the waistband of his drawers and dragged the fabric down the length of his body.

Naked, breathless, they came together. Their bodies fused into a hot, throbbing whole. The drawers slipped through Tess's shaking fingers and fell to the floor.

He kissed her again, and this one seemed to go on forever. She clung to him, feeling the shifting of his muscles beneath her fingertips. The masculine scent of him filled her nostrils. Sweat sheened his back, turned it slick. Her hands clutched at him, nails raking his back. "Oh, God," she whispered throatily. She'd never known she could feel this way, never even imagined it.

He rolled her on top of him. Tess pressed her fists into the pillow and looked down at him. Her hair cascaded around them, creating a shimmering curtain of golden silk.

He gazed up at her through eyes that looked like burning emeralds in the half-light. His lips parted slowly; his tongue slid out to wet them. Tess stared at the moist pink tip and felt something deep inside her clench. His breath caressed her nipples in hot, ragged spurts.

His hands curled around her body and clutched her buttocks, dragging her against him. His hardness slid against the curly thatch of her hair and touched the core of her desire.

Tess shuddered at the contact. Longing pulsated through her body in fire-hot waves. Need made her bold and wanton. She straddled him. The feel of him against her, hot and ready, made her whole body shake.

His name slipped past her lips in a breath of wonder. His hands slid up her back and anchored behind her neck, pulling her down for a dark, desperate kiss. As they kissed, she ground her hips against his in a slow, tantalizing circle.

He groaned and pushed her away gently. Quivering, T breathing hard, she stared down at him in confusion. "Did I do something wrong?""God, no," he rasped. "It's just so ... different."Tess felt a cold stab of fear. She should have known, should have prepared for it. This was the one change a husband would notice for sure. "Oh. I ..."He looked up at her, and in his eyes she saw all the love she could ever want, and more. "It's better," he said quietly.

He cupped her breasts in his hands and pushed the heavy mounds together. At his touch, desire blasted through her in a dizzying wave. Blood pounded in her ears until she couldn't hear anything except the thudding beat of her own heart. "Yes," she moaned. "Oh, yes."His tongue breezed across one nipple, wetting it, and then was gone.

She moaned, arched her back. And he was there again, sucking gently on one nipple, then the other, until her body was shaking so badly, she couldn't control it. She couldn't catch her breath. She pressed downward, rubbed herself against his hardness until she was light-headed with need.

"Jack . . ." His name was a breathless moan. "Please ..."His hands slid around to her back and moved to her buttocks. Clutching her with fingers of fire, he drew her downward as he thrust up. She spread her thighs farther and let him guide her onto him.

He pushed inside her, filled her. A whimper escaped her mouth at the unexpected pleasure of it.

He stilled. "Does that hurt?"She shook her head. Sweat-dampened hair whipped across her face. "No. God, no. Don't stop."He held her firmly against him and started to move. Slowly at first, then faster. With each upward thrust of his body, Tess gripped the pillows tighter, clenching her fingers around the puffy softness. Her hips ground against his. The pressure between her legs quivered, thrummed, grew so hot and throbbing, she felt tears prick her eyes. She whimpered, moaned, tossed her head, but nothing helped.

"Oh, God, Jack . .." She writhed atop him, desperate for release.

He pulled her toward him and buried his face in her breasts. She felt his tongue on her nipples, felt him take a hardened peak in his mouth. The sensation sent her into a tailspin of desire. She clutched his head in her shaking hands, holding him where he was. Her breath came in lung-searing gasps.

His hands moved urgently, almost roughly, across her breasts and along her flushed flesh. Tess squeezed her eyes shut and strained forward, panting, aching. "Oh, God, oh, God, oh, GodV It burst upon her so suddenly, Tess screamed out. Wave after wave of intense pleasure went through her body. Tears stung her eyes, blurred her vision.

Jack thrust into her one last time, deep and hard. He clung to her, his breathing ragged, whispering her name against the crook of her neck.

Tess collapsed on top of him like a rag doll. Her body felt boneless, sapped of all strength, and there was a tremble in her legs she couldn't quell.

They lay there for a long time, panting, shaking with the aftermath of their passion. Jack held her close, stroked her hair. Tess curled lovingly against him, amazed at how comfortable it felt to be in his arms, how right.

He turned slowly toward her and pushed up on one elbow. "Lissa?"She looked up into his eyes and felt a rush of love. Idly f she brushed a sweat-dampened lock of hair from his eyes and smiled. "Uh-huh?"He leaned down and kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss that spoke not of passion sated, but of promises made. Of futures and the kind of love that lasts. "I've loved you ever since I was in a kid in short pants, Lissa. But I have never, ever loved you as much as I do right now."Hot, stinging tears filled Tess's eyes. A huge lump of emotion swelled in her throat, made it difficult to breathe. She knew she should simply say nothing at all, but she couldn't. There was something she had to say?she, Tess Gregory, not Amarylis Rafferty. If it caused problems, or required explanations, or screwed up the damn time-space continuum, she'd deal with that later. Right now she had to utter the words she'd waited all her life to say.

She touched his face, and wasn't surprised to find that her fingers were trembling. "When I was little, I used to dream of someone who would be all mine, someone who would hold my hand and check under the bed, and tell me the world was a safe place. Every night I wished on the moon and waited." She kissed him, tasting the salty tang of her own tears against his lips. "I love you, Jack Rafferty. I have ever since I was a little girl."As she spoke the words, Tess realized the truth of them. She had loved Jack Rafferty since she was a child. She hadn't known what he'd look like, or where?or when? he'd live, but those were only details. All her life she'd waited for this moment, this man. He was the somebody she'd always prayed for and never really let herself believe in.

"Thanks, Carol," she breathed.

"What was that?" Jack asked.

Tess stifled a smile. "Nothing. Now, put those strong arms to good use and give me a hug."Jack grinned. "I'd be happy to." And he did.

The next week passed in a rosy-colored blur. Jack spent the days working hard, shearing sheep, and the nights camped out in neighboring barns. Tess spent her days cleaning the house, caring for Caleb, and playing with the girls. It didn't bother her much that Jack was gone during the day; her time was too full with the everyday chores of running a sheep ranch to miss him. But the nights were different. Longer.

After the dishes were cleaned and put away and Katie was done with her reading lessons, the night stretched out forever, dark and lonely and filled with subtle noises. She lay in her bed, thinking of Jack, dreaming of Jack, aching for Jack.

He heard Jim talking to him, but the words sounded a million miles away.

Jack rested his elbows on the canoe's thick rim and leaned slightly back, careful not to rock the boat. The hot spring sun beat down on his face and warmed his body, bringing a sheen of sweat to his brow. His hair hung heavily along the sides of his face.

He closed his eyes, reveling in the warmth of the sun. Tomorrow night he'd be coming home to his wife. Finally, after more than a week's worth of sleeping in barns and eating self-consciously at other people's tables, he'd be home. Home.

The word conjured a dozen welcome images: Lissa leading mealtime prayers, Katie reading slowly from her primer, Savannah offering her daddy a cautious, heartfelt smile, Lissa feeding chickens, Lissa in the bath, Lissa in their bed.

Lissa.

He sighed, listening to the water slapping against the canoe. He couldn't remember when in his life he'd felt this good, this full of hope. For the first time in years, he was beginning to believe in himself again, and damn, it felt good.

"Jack? Jack?"

Jack came out of the pleasant daydream with a snap. "Uh, sorry, Jim. What were you saying?"Jim brought the dripping paddle out of the water and laid it across the canoe in front of him. Letting out a tired breath, he shoved his hat back and grinned at Jack. "I said, it's your turn."Jack reached across the bundles of yellowed fleece that represented most of his yearly income and grabbed the paddle. Straightening, he plunged the paddle in the water and maneuvered the canoe around, following Jim's course for the huge green hump of land in the distance, the island called Vancouver, where they'd sell their goods for winter supplies.

"You know, Jack, I'm not one for jabberin' a whole lot, but I've got to say, you've changed lately."Jack squinted into the sun and drew his hat lower on his forehead. "Yeah, I s'pose I have."Jack could tell that Jim was waiting for an explanation. He knew, too, that Jim would never ask.

Normally that would have been the end of it right there. Jack had spent years closing himself off from all human contact. With each year since the horror, he'd moved further and further into his shell, hoping that if he went deep enough, he couldn't hurt anybody, couldn't let anybody down.

But his efforts to protect his children had only hurt them more. The girls he loved more than life itself had never heard the words "I love you" from their own father.

He thought about the smile Savannah had given him when he'd complimented her painted curtain. It had been bright enough to blind him.

So much joy he'd given her, with so little effort. It pained him to think about it, to realize how little his children needed to be happy. And fool that he was, he had given them even less.

No more, he decided. No more lying and hiding and pretending not to care. He didn't want to live like that anymore. That day in the church he'd vowed to make a new start, and not only in his marriage. He'd vowed to begin again with his children, himself, his neighbors. To become the man he should have been for years.

He took a deep breath and dove into the cold, frightening waters of communication. "Lissa and I have had our problems in the past...." The surprise on Jim's face made Jack laugh out loud. His anxiety over talking disappeared. "Didn't expect me to say anything else, huh, Jim?""I've known you a long time, Jack, and frankly, it surprises me when you speak at all."Jack nodded. "Yeah, I guess it would. Anyway, everything's going well with Lissa and me now."Jim pulled a toothpick out of his pocket and wedged it between his teeth, moving it back and forth thoughtfully. "Nothin' like love to make a man smile." "Yeah. I ... I missed her this week." "Yep. Too bad we'll be gettin' back just in time for the first shearin' dance. I wouldn't mind spendin' the night curled up in bed with my wife."Fear cut through Jack's new resolve. He stared out at the choppy blue waves, their peaks gilded by the bright sun. "I forgot about the dance." "You gonna go this time?""I don't 'spose I'd be too welcome after the Fourth of July dance.""Aw, hell, Jack, that was almost a year ago. 'Sides, you put too much store in that one time. So you went a little bit crazy. So what? Hector Jones has done a hell of a lot worse after a little too much whiskey. Give yourself a chance." Give yourself a chance.