Jack's fingers tightened around the paddle. The wood felt warm and slick; the whooshing slap of the waves against the sides of the boat seemed thunderous in his ears.
"Lissa and the girls would sure like to go." He said the thought aloud, testing it.
Jim leaned back, dangling his arms over the side of the canoe. "I'm sure they would. Hell, Minerva and Lissa are probably figurin' out what to wear right now."Jack imagined the look on Lissa's face when he told her they were going to the dance. An anticipatory smile pulled at his lips.
A new start was a new start.
Tess shifted her weight, moving Katie slightly to the left on her lap. In front of them, on the kitchen table, McGuffey's First Eclectic Reader lay open. Pale, throbbing candlelight splashed across its yellowed pages.
"What's that letter, Katie?" Tess murmured tiredly, pointing to the first letter of the sentence.
Katie plopped her elbows on the table and cradled her chin in one hand. "I think it's a-b. Or a-d."Tess smoothed the back of her hair. "Here, watch." Carefully she drew a big picture of a B in the air.
Katie watched intently, frowning. "Is it a B?""Very good. Now, what's next?"Tess lifted her now blurry gaze from the reader and glanced into the living room. Savannah was sitting on the sofa, hunched over her old linsey-woolsey dress.
"How's it coming, Savannah?" she asked quietly.
Savannah lifted her head. Even from this distance, Tess could tell that the girl's eyes were bloodshot. "Not so good. This dress ain't?""Isn't," Tess corrected automatically.
Savannah sighed. "This dress isn't ever gonna look good."Tess felt a pang of empathy. She knew how important it was for a young girl to look good at her first dance, but there was nothing Tess could do. She couldn't sew a stitch, and besides, there wasn't any fabric or any time. They didn't even know for sure if Jack would let them attend the dance.
"I wish there was something I could do to help...." Savannah's hand fell in her lap. She looked across the room at Tess. "You ... you really think Daddy's gonna let us go?"Tess licked her lips nervously. "I hope so, Savannah. But there's something ... different about how your daddy feels about this. I think he's scared, and I don't want to push him too hard."Savannah's mouth turned down in a pitiful frown. "Yeah, I know."Tess tried to force a bright smile. "But you never know, kiddo. Strange goings-on have been happening around here."Savannah gave a forlorn sigh and went back to her sewing. "I don't know how to dance anyhow. Probably make a fool of myself."Tess stared at Savannah. She was working so hard on her dress, trying desperately to make it ready in time, and yet she had no hope that they were even going. No hope at all.
Please, Jack, Tess prayed, don't let her down. Please ...
The next evening, Jack returned to the island, his pockets filled with money, and Jim Hannah's barn filled with the supplies they'd traded for the fleece.
From the road, he stared down at the house. It lay like a perfect white pearl amidst the darkening twilight.
He clutched the packages to his chest and began to run. His bootheels crunched through the rock and dirt road, his breathing sped up. That ridiculous smile came back to his face, and he couldn't?didn't want to?shake it free.
Panting and out of breath, he rounded the last corner and sprinted toward the house, bounding up the sagging slatted steps and bursting into the warm, golden kitchen.
"Jack!" Lissa whirled around at his entrance. Her face revealed first shock, then a joy that matched his own. She picked up her skirts and ran for him, throwing herself into his arms. .
It was the greeting Jack had waited for all his life. He dropped his packages and bear-hugged her, twirling her around and around in the warm, mutton-and-potato-scented kitchen.
"Oh, Jack," she whispered, gazing up into his eyes, "I missed you."He kissed her full, pink lips, and when he did, he felt as if a very special, very important part of him had just been given life. "I missed you, too.""Daddy!" Katie came running into the room, her skirts hiked up to her knees. She flung herself into the hug, and the three of them whirled around, laughing.
Jack smoothed the tangled hair from Katie's face and planted a kiss on her flushed cheek. "Hi, little Katydid. I missed you."She gave him a bright, gap-toothed grin that twisted his heart. "I missed you, too, Daddy. Know what?" "What?""Mama burnt supper tonight." Her voice dropped to a giggly whisper. "Really bad."Jack tried valiantly to remain serious. His mouth twitched traitorously. "Really? Well, we'll have to do something about that."Lissa looked up at him. There was a fire in her eyes that made his blood turn searingly hot. She pressed a hand to his shoulder. "What sort of ... thing did you have in mind?"He licked his lips. His eyes glittered with promise. "I don't know. We'll have to think of something ... fitting. Something that teaches you how to put out a fire."She smiled. Her hand slid down from his shoulder and moved dangerously close to his groin. "I'll have to build one first."He laughed. "Shouldn't be any problem there." Lissa laughed and slipped her hand in his. He loosened his hold on Katie and let her glide down his body to the floor. Her feet hit with a click of heels.
Savannah came around the corner, her schoolbooks clutched to her chest. "Mama, I?" She saw Jack and froze. The smile slid from her face. "Daddy." She started to come toward him, then paused. The hands around her books curled into taut fists.
Jack felt her hesitation like a blow. Savannah, of all of them, would be the most difficult. She'd seen so many of his little failures, so much of his weakness. She'd been afraid of him for most of her life.
The realization was like a burning coal in the pit of his stomach. How the hell did a man say I'm sorry to an innocent child? And was an apology enough? Could years of neglect be simply forgiven?
Jack swallowed thickly, wishing he were the kind of man who could make glib statements of sentiment. He wanted to say, ached to say, Hi, Savannah, I missed you. But the words were a lump of regret in his throat. He knew they wouldn't be enough; not for Savannah, whose youthful eyes had seen too much, whose young heart he had broken. He had to show her, every day, in every way, that he was sorry. And most of all, that he loved her with all his heart.
"Hi, Vannah," he said quietly, using the pet name he hadn't used since she was a toddler.
She blinked in surprise. Her hold on the schoolbooks relaxed a little. "H-Hi, Daddy.""I brought presents," he said lamely.
"You did?" three feminine voices said at once.
Jack stooped down and picked up the three brown-paper-wrapped packages. He handed little ones to Katie and Lissa, and a big one to Savannah.
All three of them hurried to the kitchen table and began ripping at the twine bows. The crinkling sound of folding paper and giggling girls filled the kitchen.
Katie sidled alongside Lissa in a wordless bond that caused a small ache to form in Jack's chest. The child's pudgy pink fingers worked feverishly on the thin twine bow and then yanked back the brown wrapping paper. Three bright red grosgrain ribbons lay tangled alongside a beautiful doll.
Katie squealed in delight and clutched the treasure to her chest. She hopped excitedly for a second, then twirled and threw herself into Jack's arms.
"Thank you, Daddy, oh, thank you."Jack coiled his arms around her in a fierce, loving hug. "You're welcome, baby," he said in a thick voice. "Jack!"At Lissa's awed whisper, he brought his head up and looked at his wife.
Lissa eased the beautiful silver and pearl necklace from the paper and held it up into the candlelight. "Oh, Jack, it's beautiful."He smiled at her, then glanced nervously at Savannah. His eldest daughter was chewing on her lower lip and carefully unwrapping the package. She moved slowly, as if she were afraid of what lay beneath the thin paper.
She peeled the brown paper back, and immediately looked up at him.
Jack smiled at her, nodding.
A slow, excited smile tugged at her mouth. She bit down harder on her lower lip, as if she were afraid to show how much the simple frock meant to her. But she couldn't keep the emotion from her eyes. "Oh, Daddy," she breathed, holding up the short-sleeved muslin gown sprigged with tiny pink flowers. "It's beautiful.""I thought you ladies might need something special for the dance tomorrow night."Savannah gasped. "Really?" she said. "We can go?"Jack knew then that he'd made the right decision. "Yeah," he said quietly. "We can go."
Chapter Twenty-one
That night, Tess dried the last supper plate and put it carefully away. As she was turning to leave, a shadow of movement caught her eye.
Intrigued, she went to the window and saw Savannah sitting on the tree swing. Just sitting there, head bowed, hands in her lap. Alone.
Tess tossed her damp rag on the riddle board and went outside.
"Savannah?" she said quietly, making her way cautiously down the shadowy steps.
Savannah sighed unhappily. "Hi, Mama."Tess picked her way across the yard and kneeled in the cold, damp grass in front of Savannah. "What's the matter?""Oh, Mama, that dress ain't?isn't?gonna help me. I'm gonna make a fool of myself at the dance tomorrow night.""You don't know how to dance?" She shook her head.
Tess pushed to her feet. "Well, that's nothing to worry about. I'll have you dancing in no time. You go run on into the barn. I'll get... a few things and meet you there.""Really?" Savannah whispered. "You'll teach me?"Tess forced a smile. "Sure. Now, run along. I'll be right there."Savannah was up like a shot. "Thanks, Mama," she called out, already skipping along the dirt road toward the barn.
Tess crossed her arms, the false smile on her face turning downward. She had no idea how to dance, of course. It was not something she'd done a great deal of in her life, for though she had always been able to feel the beat of the music, she'd felt too self-conscious to actually get out on a dance floor.
Then again, she had learned the steps to a dance back in the seventies, during college. She grinned at the thought of teaching the hustle to Savannah.
Remembering to hike her skirts like a good little pioneer gal, she walked back into the house. There was only one thing to do. And it was a damn good plan, if she did say so herself.
Jack stared at her in horror. "I can't teach Savannah to dance."Tess frowned. "Don't you know how?"He shoved a hand through his hair. "Of course I know how. We were raised in the South, for Christ's sake. Dancing's like breathing.""Then what's the problem? You know how, she doesn't. Seems like a perfect fit to me."He looked away. Tess moved toward him, placed a hand on his arm. "Jack? What is it?"Slowly he looked down at her. "What if she won't let me?"The quiet question wrenched her heart. Tess smoothed the unruly hair from his face. "Jack, she's been waiting for you all her life. She won't turn you away.""Okay," he murmured. "I'll give it a try." "No, Jack. Don't try. Do"He almost smiled. "You're an authoritative wench, you know that?"She pressed onto her tiptoes and kissed him. "So I've been told. Now, hurry up."He curled an arm possessively around her waist and drew her up for a longer, more intimate kiss. Then he opened the door and stepped out into the night.
He stood on the porch, staring down at the blackness of the Straits. A thick gray cloud let go its anchor and scudded past the half moon. Pale, blue-white light immediately slithered across the water in undulating waves. Stars poked their faces through the velvet sky.
He felt a small foot on his butt. "Go, Jack.""Yeah, yeah." Dropping his chin, he moved woodenly down the steps and headed toward the barn. With every crunching step of his bootheel in the dirt, he winced. His mind was chock-full of images?times Savannah had looked at him with mistrust or not looked at him at all; times she'd almost come toward him and then stopped, her eyes wide with fear; times he'd wanted to reach out to her and been too damned afraid of his own darkness to even try.
Please God, don't let me screw up.
Savannah paced back and forth, her small, boots clicking on the hard-packed dirt floor. Her stomach felt like a butterfly nest, all fluttery and full. She let out her breath in an anxious sigh. Calm down, Savannah. It ain't?isn't? that hard. Mama'II teach you, '?' everything'II be fine.
Tiny teeth nipped at her self-confidence. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She was gonna make a fool of herself at the dance for sure.
"Savannah?"
She froze at the sound of her daddy's voice, then spun around. He was standing in the doorway, a broad shouldered shadow against the midnight blue of the night behind him. A few stars twinkled in the sky beyond. There was only the barest light from the moon behind him, and yet even in the semidarkness, he was so handsome, he took her breath away.
"There's a rumor my little girl can't dance."Yearning wrenched through Savannah. Tears lurched into her throat and stung her eyes. Her mouth wobbled dangerously. But she did her level best not to cry.
She wanted to say something that sounded grown-up, but all of a sudden she felt like a little kid, scared and lonely. She'd wanted him to notice her for so long, had waited and ached and prayed for it. But now that it was here, he was here, she didn't know what to do. Her knees felt like unset pudding.
She didn't move. She just stood there, her heart beating too fast and her throat as dry as toast, staring at her daddy. She was scared to death she'd burst into tears and he'd run away again. Standing still, she tried desperately to be a perfect little lady so he'd be proud of her.
"Come here, Vannah."
Vannah. The nickname almost did her in. She squeezed her eyes shut. Don't be a crybaby. Don't do somethin' stupid and make him leave again.