第 39 页

Apprehension stirred in Tess's stomach. Something was wrong. Jack never stood around in the middle of the day. Absently she shoved a lock of fallen hair back into the bun at her nape and moved closer to the porch rail, craning her neck to see who was coming.

The wagon rumbled down the dirt road toward them, churning up a moving cloud of dust that obscured the driver.

"Someone's comin'!" Katie yelled, leaping off the swing. She and Savannah raced across the yard and bounded up the steps, sidling close to Tess.

"Who do you think it is?" Savannah asked.

Tess couldn't answer. Absently she shook her head and shrugged, her eyes still pinned on the rolling cloud of dust. With each crunching turn of the wagon wheels, her anxiety jerked up a notch.

Her gaze cut to Jack. His face was a chalky mask. There was no question in his eyes, no apprehension or confusion. He knew exactly who was in that wagon.

Fear rushed through her, chilled her to the bone. She brought a hand to her mouth. Oh, God, Jack, what have you done?

The wagon turned the corner and came into view. Justice of the Peace Ed Warbass was driving.

Tess felt her knees give way. Clamping the hand more tightly atop her mouth, she shot a terrified look at Jack.

Their eyes locked. His gaze was sad and filled with regret. I'm sorry, he mouthed.

It crashed in on her in a suffocating wave. Consciousness tried to slip away, but she held on to it with desperate, clawing fingers.

Jack had turned himself in for the murders.

"No!" she screamed. Wrenching the tired old linsey-woolsey of her skirt, she dashed down the steps and ran across the road, flinging herself into Jack's arms.

"Tell me you didn't turn yourself in," she whispered urgently.

When he didn't answer, she yanked out of his arms and stared up at him. "Tell me," she yelled.

He flinched. Sadness twisted his features, made him look infinitely old and tired. "Yesterday after the town meeting I told Ed Warbass to arrest me.""Damn you, Jack Rafferty," she hissed.

He tried to smile, and failed. "There's no doubt about that, Lissa."She smacked him, a hard, stinging crack across the face that surprised them both. "Don't you dare be flip." Her voice cracked, frayed. Tears flooded her eyes and clogged her throat. "Don't you dare...."Tess squeezed her eyes shut and fought for a shred of self-control. She had to be cool and composed, had to calmly and rationally convince Jack?and Ed?that this was all a horrible mistake.

She tried to find the scientific detachment that had always come so naturally, but it was gone now, buried beneath an avalanche of terror. She pressed a shaking, ice-cold hand to her throat. She couldn't find it within herself to be rational. It felt as if her insides were melting, crumbling away. Everything she'd ever wanted, ever dreamed of, was here, standing in front of her, close enough to kiss. And it was slipping beyond her grasp like an elusive fog.

The wagon pulled up in front of them. "Whoa, boy," Ed Warbass said, reining the horse to a stop.

Jack looked up. "Hi, Ed."

Ed pulled the hat off his head and crushed it in his lap. "Hi, Jack." He nodded at Tess. "Miz Rafferty."She ran up to the wagon, clutching at the splintery wooden side. "He didn't do it, Ed. I swear he didn't do it."Ed glanced uncomfortably at Jack. "He says different," he answered quietly.

Tess spun around, running back to Jack. "Don't do this, Jack, please. Please."He didn't look at her, and somehow that hurt more than any slap she could imagine.

Anger revitalized her. "No, goddamn it!" She turned to Warbass. "He didn't do it. Don't listen to him, he's?" "Crazy," Jack said flatly.

Tess reeled back around. "Damn it, Jack, you're not crazy. You're just ... afraid." "Good-bye, Lissa."The ground seemed to tilt suddenly. Tess swayed unsteadily. The knot of fear unwound, spilling through her blood in an icy stream. Her insides felt hot and shaky. "Oh, Jack ..."He turned to her then, and the movement was slow and wooden. His face was a cold, emotionless mask, without smile or frown. To someone who didn't know him, he looked like a cold-blooded killer.

Except for his eyes. In the green depths was a pain so raw and consuming, Tess knew it was taking all of his self-control not to crack. His mouth trembled slightly, then drew back into a taut line. "Why?" she whispered. "I have to protect my family."Tess swallowed thickly. "We're safe with you, Jack. Not without you." She took a step toward him, rested her hand on his chest. "Never without you."He leaned down and kissed her. It was a short, bittersweet kiss that ended all too soon. "I love you," he whispered against her forehead when finally he pulled away. Tess threw her arms around him and clung to him. Huge, desperate sobs racked her body and scalded her eyes. Her heart was an empty, aching lump in her throat. "Please, don't do this. Please, oh, please, oh, please."Gently he pushed her away. "I have to, Lissa." His voice thickened and cracked. "I have to."Tess sagged and almost fell. It felt as if every bone in her body were being slowly, painfully crushed. Her tears turned him into a tall, black-haired blur against a solemn gray sky.

"Good-bye, Lissa."

"No, Daddy, don't go!" Savannah flew down the steps and barreled across the road, throwing herself into Jack's arms. "Don't go, Daddy."Katie was right behind her. Jack hugged them all for a long time, smoothing the tear-dampened hair from their faces. Then he pushed them away, too.

"I have to go."

Katie looked up at Warbass. Her little body was heaving with quiet sobs. "D-Don't tuh-ake my daddy."Warbass tugged on his collar and looked away. "I'm sorry, missy."Jack reached down and grabbed a satchel from the other side of the fence. Tess saw the bag and felt a surge of anger and betrayal so strong, it obliterated her sorrow for a heartbeat. "Why didn't you tell me last night?"He turned and looked down at her. His finger breezed across her jawline in a feather-stroke. "I couldn't. You might have talked me out of it.""He'll be in the jail in Victoria, Miz Rafferty. You can visit anytime before the trial."Without another glance, Jack climbed up onto the wagon.

Tess clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Tears blurred her vision and formed a huge, aching lump in her throat. She couldn't breathe. Her knees went weak and she collapsed in a crumpled, desperate heap on the dirt road. Dust spewed from the wagon's metal wheels and clogged her nose and eyes, turning her tears into muddy, clammy streaks.

"Come back," she whispered brokenly, tasting the gritty paste of dirt on her tongue.

The wagon rumbled on.

Tess had no idea how long she sat there, crumpled in the middle of the dirt road, her cheeks streaked with muddy tears. She stared through gritty eyes at the road, waiting, desperately waiting for the wagon to reappear, for Ed to come walking up and say, I'm sorry, Miz Rafferty, it's all been a horrible mistake....

A small, strangled sob escaped her. The rock-strewn dirt road blurred before her eyes.

"Mama?" Katie shuffled toward her and dropped to her knees. "What are we gonna do?""There ain't nothin' we can do," Savannah answered in a tired voice. "Daddy's goin' to jail."Tess straightened slowly. The kids. She couldn't fall apart now. Not here in front of the children. They needed her to be strong.

Sniffling, she backhanded the tears from her eyes and glanced over at Savannah, who was standing stiff as a knife blade, her face colorless and streaked with tears.

"Come over here, Vannah," she said quietly.

Savannah moved to Tess's side and kneeled on the hard dirt beside her. Tess put an arm around each girl and drew them close.

"He didn't do it," Tess said softly, her eyes blurring with new tears at the thought. "I know that," Savannah said.

"Then why'd he say he done it?" Katie asked in a small, miserable voice that made Tess want to cry all over again. "Well, honey, that's a hard question to answer. Basically your daddy doesn't think he's a very nice person. And when you don't believe there's good inside you, you're all too willing to believe there's bad." "Oh," Katie said quietly.

"Right now your daddy can't believe in himself, so he needs us to do it for him. We're his family, and families stick together through everything." "Maybe God will help him," Katie said. "I'm sure He will, honey, but God helps those who help themselves.""What does that mean, Mama?" Tess hugged the girls fiercely. "It means I've waited all my life for someone to love, and someone to love me." She stroked the girls' hair. "I used to dream about you guys. About being part of a family. And now that I have it, I'll be damned if I'll let it go without a fight." "I love you, Mama," Savannah whispered.

"I love you both, too," Tess murmured in a throaty voice. "So much, it hurts. Now, let's put our heads together and figure out a plan to help your father."After breakfast, Tess sent Savannah and Katie in search of wildflowers. She needed some time to be alone, some time to think. She walked across the porch, listening with half an ear to the whining creak of the floorboards beneath her feet.

She went down the steps and crossed to the swing, sitting on its familiar seat. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and let the soft, gentle rocking motion soothe her battered soul. As she sat there, it began to rain. Cold droplets knifed past the tree's leaves and plunked on Tess's upturned face. The quiet, ceaseless patter of the raindrops on the grass matched the beating of her heart.

A particularly large drop landed in her eye. She wiped the wetness away with her sleeve and blinked.

A flash of yellow winked at her from the grass. Sliding off the swing, she plopped onto the ground and crawled through the wet grass.

The wilted, broken dandelion crown lay forgotten in the weeds.

She picked up the linked flowers in cold, shaking hands. The bright yellow blurred before her tear-filled eyes. She held it to her chest, smelling the strong, familiar scent of dandelions and grass and rain.

She tried to be brave and strong for the girls and Caleb and Jack, tried to swallow her tears and force her mind away from the pain. But she couldn't do it. Not this time.

And so, kneeling in the wet grass, alone, with a bunch of silly, wilted flowers plastered to her breast, Tess let herself cry. She cried until her throat was raw and her eyes burned, until her chest ached and her legs were icy cold.

She cried until she had no more tears to cry. Then, sniffling hard, wiping her bloodshot eyes, she clambered to her feet and walked slowly into the house.

She felt better then. Stronger. Ready to figure out a way to get Jack out of jail.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Tess was out of breath by the time she reached the Hannah farm. She skidded to a halt and concentrated on breathing normally as she walked toward the small house. Rain drizzled from the clouds overhead, sliding down the pitched roof and plunking on the weathered planks of the porch.

Be calm, Tess. Be calm.

Grasping her linsey-woolsey skirt, she climbed the wooden steps and rapped sharply on the front door. There was a rush of shuffling feet from inside the house, then suddenly the door was whisked open. Minerva stood in the doorway.

She smiled immediately. "Why, Lissa, what a pleasant surprise."Tess tried to keep her voice from trembling. "Not so pleasant, Minerva." Minerva frowned. "Come in.""Thanks." Tess swept into the small, neat kitchen and sat down at the table.

Minerva went directly to the stove, poured two cups of coffee, and set one down in front of Tess, then took a seat herself. "So, what's the matter?"For a minute Tess couldn't talk. She curled her fingers around the dented tin cup and took a deep breath.

"Jack ..." She glanced away, unable to say anything.

Minerva reached across the table and laid her hand on Tess's. "Jack what?"She swallowed thickly, tasting bitter, unshed tears. "He thinks he killed the Dwyers."Minerva gasped quietly, but didn't withdraw her hand.

"He didn't do it, of course, but he's so afraid...."Minerva set her coffee cup down with a clank. "Of what?"Tess forced her gaze up. "He had a ... bad experience in the war, and he can't forget it. That's why the fireworks set him off. The sound makes him remember things he'd rather forget, and he goes a little ... crazy. But he'd never hurt anyone."Minerva studied Tess for a long, thoughtful moment.

Tess shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. Suddenly she remembered Jack's words: Be nice to them. She thought of all the times Amarylis had undoubtedly been rude to this nice woman, and Tess winced. Please don't hold her against me. Not now. I need a friend so much....

"No," Minerva said quietly. "I don't believe he would either." Minerva forced a lackluster smile. "Not that that'll help you much."Tess sighed. "I don't even know why I'm here. I guess I thought you could help me think of something to do. Anything. I can't just sit around that house and do nothing while he rots in jail for a crime he didn't commit."Minerva's gaze dropped. She stared thoughtfully at her coffee for a long time. Slowly she looked up. "I'm sorry, Lissa."Tess bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. Tiredly she pushed to her feet. "Well?" Her voice sounded thick with tears, so she cleared her throat. "Well, if you think of anything, I'll be at home."Minerva got to her feet. "I'm sure he'll realize he didn't do it and tell Ed the truth."Tess nodded stiffly. "I'm sure you're right." But as she gazed into Minerva's caring blue-gray eyes, Tess faltered. The words were a lie. Jack would never recant.

Minerva opened her arms. Squeezing her eyes shut, Tess stumbled forward, letting herself be enfolded in the comforting warmth of her friend's embrace.

The next morning Tess was wakened by someone banging hard on the front door. ~"~~"Lissa! Open the door. Lissa!"Tess stumbled out of bed and threw on her wrapper. The wooden floor felt icy cold beneath her bare feet as she staggered through the house.