第 41 页

Tess focused on one of the men, a straggly, hollow-cheeked man in dungarees. "Do you have ... nightmares about it?"The man paled and looked away. Staring at the side wall, he jerked his chin in a quick nod.

Tess glanced around again, her gaze sweeping the crowd. "The soldiers in that war saw horrors we can't imagine. And sometimes they can't ... let go. That's Jack's problem. When he hears loud noises, it reminds him of gunfire. Sometimes it scares him so badly, he panics."She watched the room, allowing her gaze to soften. "I know most of you can't understand a thing like that. I have trouble with it myself. The point is, Jack isn't a murderer. He's just a scared, lonely man who has been afraid to talk to most of you. He's .. . different. But that doesn't make him crazy. And it doesn't make him a murderer.""But he said he done it," someone said from the middle of the crowd.

Ed Warbass stepped forward. "No, that isn't exactly what he said. He said he figured he done it. He can't remember.""Sometimes Jack blacks out. He can't remember where he's been." Tess moved toward the crowd, and this time she couldn't keep her hands from coiling together. Her gaze landed on a friendly-looking older woman in the front row.

"He's just like your husband," she said softly. "Or your son. He's not a crazy man, or a murderer. He's an ordinary man who's faced extraordinary circumstances in his life. And he needs some help from his neighbors."The woman shot a nervous sideways glance at her husband. "Wh-What can we do to help?""I don't know, Miriam...." the man beside her complained.

Tess looked sharply at the man. "Would a murderer rum himself in? Would a murderer, someone who would kill a pregnant woman in cold blood, ask to be locked up?"The man frowned. "Well?" he drew the word out?"I reckon not. But if he didn't do it, who did?"Ed strode forward again. "I got some information that might help us there. On my request, the Canadian authorities arrested Joe and Kie Nuanna a few hours ago in Vic toria. A shot pouch they'd borrowed from the Hannahs was found in the victims' root cellar.""Joe and Kie ... no shit? They're just boys," someone said.

"Poor boys," someone else added in a meaningful whisper.

"They won't talk to the authorities," Ed said, "so we don't know for sure if they did it, but the evidence is pretty strong against them."Jerry Sikes pushed his way through the crowd and stood by Tess. "I talked to Jack some durin' shearin' season. He wasn't half-bad. As for me, I don't think he done it. Never did."Tess gave him a grateful smile.

Deep in the crowd, a man tugged a tired old hat from his head and crushed it to his chest. Awkwardly he moved to the front of the crowd. "I'm Charlie MacKay. I know the boys pretty well, and I wouldn't mind talkin' to 'em. Maybe there's a slipup in their stories, but?" "That's wonderful?""Let me finish, ma'am. I ... I reckon any man'd be proud to have a woman fightin' so hard to prove he's innocent. But, well, what if he ain't? I don't want to get involved unless I'm damn sure your man didn't do it."Tess battled a crushing wave of disappointment. "I understand, Mr. MacKay, but Jack's a stubborn man. He won't say he's innocent.""But I couldn't sleep at night if I helped him get outta jail and he ... you know ... killed someone."Tess winced at the ugly words and fought to maintain her composure. She couldn't lose it now, when she was so close. So damn close.

Think, damn it. That's what you're good at. Think She had to convince Charlie, just this one man, that Jack was innocent. But how? How?

Only one thing came to her mind, and it was a weak, feeble thing. An almost certain failure. Still, it was all she had___She licked her lower lip, which felt scratchy and dry. "What if I talked to Jack, and got him to admit that maybe he was innocent? Would that be enough, Mr. MacKay?" Charlie pulled a wooden pipe from his shirt pocket and wedged it between his teeth, chewing on the carved end. "Yeah, I reckon that'd be enough." "We'd be much obliged, Charlie," Ed said. Tess squeezed her eyes shut. She tried her best to have hope, her very best. But for the first time in her life, her soul felt twisted and empty.

It was all in Jack's hands. He had to admit to maybe. And he'd never believed in himself yet.

That night after supper, Tess gathered the girls in a circle on the living room floor. A fire burned low in the fireplace, giving the shadowy room a red-gold glow. The leftover aroma of mutton stew mingled with the sharp tang of woodsmoke and filled the air. Moonlight slanted in a tenuous, broken streak through the small window and puddled in a bluish smear on the couch.

Tess spread a big blanket on the hardwood floor, then dropped slowly to her knees and patted places for the girls. As Katie and Savannah lowered themselves to the blanket, Tess laid out a precious piece of paper in front of each girl. A pen and inkwell followed.

Savannah looked up. "What do you want us to do with these?"Tess gazed at her daughter, realizing for the first time how very young twelve could be. Savannah looked impossibly pale and naive in the uncertain light, a girl trying so hard to be a woman.

Tess's gaze moved to Katie. She was sitting Indian style, all slumped over, with her little elbows rested on her bent knees. Her eyes were huge, earnest pools in the shadow-cloaked pudginess of her face. There was the barest hint of a tremble in her lower lip, the only sign that she was afraid for her daddy.

Love washed through Tess in a rejuvenating wave. These children had given her so much?more than she'd ever dreamed possible. They'd answered a million soundless, aching dreams. Where strangers had once been, there was now a family.

She didn't have to be strong for them; she had to be strong with them. From now on, they'd be facing a lifetime's worth of good times and bad. Miracles and tragedies. And they could battle them one at a time, each of them stronger for taking hold of the other.

She held her arms out. With a stifled sob, Katie lurched into Tess's arms and buried her little face against her mommy's shoulder. Savannah pushed the paper aside and crawled across the blanket, curling against Tess.

Their love and acceptance gave Tess the strength to take on the world. She stroked their backs in slow, gentle circles.

"Will he be back?" Savannah asked quietly.

Tess smiled. "That's my girl, Vannah. Always be direct. Ask what's on your mind." "Will he?"The scientist in Tess wanted to equivocate, to elaborate on the vagaries of the judicial system and the nature of Jack's fear. But that part of her was small now, and getting smaller. The mother in her had a simpler answer. "Yes, honey, he will, but I need your help."Both girls drew back, studying her. "What can we do?" Savannah asked.

"See those pieces of paper? I want you each to write your daddy a letter. I'll take it to him tomorrow."Katie whimpered. "Oh, no, I?"Tess touched her cheek. "I'll help you."Katie let out her breath in a quiet, quavering sigh. "Wuh?will it help?" "I think it will."Katie nibbled nervously on her lower lip, then slowly nodded. "Okay."Tess helped the girls swivel around and stretch out. Savannah lay sprawled, half on and half off the blanket, her legs crossed at the ankles in the air behind her. She chewed on the end of her pen for a long, thoughtful moment, then began to write.

Dear Daddy:

When I was a little girl, you used ta stand by my bed in the middle of the night. You 'd stand there, just lookin at me and cryin. I used ta wish so bad you 'd pick me up. Every time I saw you in them days, it was through the wooden bars of that bed. It seemed like bein in jail.

Then I grew up, and I learnt that a person don't need bars to be in jail. I always felt locked up and alone and afraid. But then everything changed. Mama started to laugh, and you taught me to dance.

That dancin was something. Sometimes I cry just thinkin about it. That was the night you first told me you loved me. After that, I never once felt like I was in jail.

Daddy I love you. Please come home.

S.

Emotion tightened Tess's throat as she read Savannah's letter. Impulsively she smoothed a stray lock of hair from Savannah's eyes. "That's beautiful, sweetheart."Katie chewed nervously on her fingernail. "How 'bout if I just sign my name to Vannah's letter?"Tess hunkered down beside Katie, looping an arm around the child's trembling shoulders. "Come on. Let's give it a try. What would you like to say?"Katie swallowed hard. "Just ..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Just that I love him.""Perfect." Tess smiled at her approvingly. "Now, let's get started."Thirty minutes later, the fire had dwindled to a hazy pile of red and black embers, and Katie's scrawled sentence was finally complete. Her letters were backward and cata-wampus, but the message was crystal-clear. I love you, Daddy.

Tess carefully folded the papers into quarters and set them on the wooden mantel, then she brought the girls back into a circle on the blanket. They joined hands and bowed their heads, and together they prayed.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Tess stared at the small brick building. The barred windows glinted in the noontime sun. She suppressed a shiver of horror and tilted her chin upward, plastering a false smile on her face.

Beside her, Charlie and Ed waited patiently. She cleared her throat. "Let's go." Lifting her skirts, she made her slow, thoughtful way up the jailhouse steps. The men walked a respectful distance behind her. With each step, she felt a desperate tightening in her chest. Remember the dream. Remember . . . She took a deep, shaky breath and forced herself to remember what she'd decided. Last night she'd lain awake in her lonely bed, thinking of the good times with Jack, the loving, laughing times. Each memory had driven like a shard of glass through her heart.

She'd closed her eyes, imagining that he was beside her. The warmth of his touch, the sound of his breathing, the scent of his hair, had all been with her, captured in the tiny, reflective place in her mind where cherished memories remained forever.

It was then, in the soft haze of remembrance, that she'd finally slept.

The dream had come with all the color and sounds and sights of reality. She and Jack were sitting in an elegant, wainscoted room. Sunlight streamed through a huge, oc tagonal window, wreathing a table set with sterling and china and fine crystal. Children were clustered around the table, but they were no longer children. Savannah was a beautiful young lady with a dark-haired man beside her. On her other side was a pink-cheeked baby in a scrolled high chair. Katie, too, was grown-up and smiling, and busy laughing with a heartbreakingly handsome young man who Tess knew instinctively was Caleb. Two younger men sat across from Caleb, their heads bowed together in quiet conversation.

With the dream had come a pervasive sense of peace. Tess didn't believe it was just a figment of her desperate mind; she knew it was a vision. A picture of a future that was destined to be. A future she'd come back one hundred years to find.

And Jack was screwing it up.

She'd be damned if she'd let him.

Tess yanked her skirts up and hurried up the steps. She'd had to die to find love, and now that she'd found it, nothing would take it from her. Nothing.

Not even a stubborn, pigheaded man who didn't know when to say "maybe."She reached for the doorknob and wrenched the huge oaken door open. It slammed into the brick wall and cracked hard.

A man looked up from his paper-piled desk in the center of a small, shadowy room.

"Hello," Tess said. "I'm Lissa Rafferty, and I'm here to see my husband, Jackson."The man scrambled to his feet and pulled a clanking set of keys from his pocket. "This way, ma'am." He glanced at Ed and Charlie. "One visitor at a time."Ed touched Tess's arm. "Good luck, Miz Rafferty.""Thanks, Ed." Turning away from the men, she followed the jailer down a narrow hallway.

"Rafferty! There's someone here to see you."Jack scrambled to a sit. He shoved a hand through his disheveled hair and peered through the bars. "Lissa?" She stepped away from the jailer so he could see her better. "Hi, Jack."The jailer opened the cell and ushered Tess inside. "Normally I wouldn't let you in, you understand, but Ed Warbass says you can be trusted. No funny business, right?"Tess nodded and swept into the small, dank cell. The metal bars clanged shut behind her. A key jiggled in the lock, then footsteps echoed down the hall, and they were alone.

She sat beside Jack on the narrow, sagging cot and twisted around to face him. She reached out, took his hands in hers. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many arguments she'd prepared herself to make, but now, sitting here in the filthy darkness with him, all she wanted to do was cry. "You shouldn't have come," he said quietly. She snapped her head up to meet his gaze, and the urge to cry disappeared. "I shouldn't have to." "Lissa?""Don't you 'Lissa' me, Jackson Rafferty. I've had enough of your melodramatics, do you understand? No more hiding.""What do you mean?" He tried to withdraw his hands, but she wouldn't let him. She clung tightly, squeezing hard.

"You know exactly what I mean. I want you to try to remember.""Don't you think I've tried?"The agony in his voice tore through Tess's resolve. She had a sudden urge to take him in her arms and stroke his brow, tell him everything would be all right. But she didn't move. Everything wouldn't be okay, goddamn it, if he didn't try.

She stared deeply into his eyes, trying to will him to see the goodness in himself. "It's all in there, Jack. In your head. Every memory, every moment, is stored inside. You just have to believe." "I can't?"She pressed a finger to his lips. "I'm not asking you to say you didn't kill those people?even though you didn't?I'm just asking you to admit maybe you didn't."Fear filled his eyes, made his breathing speed up. He shook his head slowly. "What if?"She let go of his hands and grabbed his shoulders. "What good are your precious 'what if s' to your kids, Jack? Your kids, who are sitting at home right now, crying, terrified they'll never see their father again?" She flipped her leather skate bag open and wrenched out the girls' letters, waving them beneath Jack's nose. "Read these, Jack, and tell me they don't matter."With shaking fingers, Jack opened Savannah's letter. By the time he reached the bottom, his eyes were sheened with tears. He looked up at Tess, his face twisted with pain. "What do you want from me?""What if you're not the murderer, Jack? Did you ever think about that? If you're innocent, we're still in danger?the kids and I are alone out at the farm. Alone. And I couldn't shoot a barn if I was standing in front of it."He swiped his eyes and sighed. "Christ, Lissa, who else could it be? I'm the only crazy on the island.""Joe and Kie Nuanna borrowed a gun from the Hannahs during your blackout. They returned it splattered with blood." She paused to let the facts sink in, then added, "Human blood."A spark of hope flared in Jack's eyes.