第 2 页

乔治和我一致主张露营而不想睡在旅馆里。我们说露营多么逍遥自在，“在河边的野地里，小鸟，鲜花，树木团团陪伴在周围。”

我简直能想象得出那幅情景……

白天渐渐隐去，夜晚悄悄来临，周围一片安宁、静谧，我们的小船轻轻滑进幽静的河湾。我们在那里支起帐篷，做点简单的晚餐，吃完饭，我们装满烟斗，坐在那儿娓娓清谈。聊一会儿天，我们便歇一会儿，听着河水轻轻拍着小船。银色的月光洒在身上，我们不禁浮想联翩。一时大家端坐在寂静里，心头一番滋味无以言表。我们静静相视一笑，放下烟斗，互道一声晚安，起身去睡觉。河水潺潺，轻拍船舷，送我们入梦。在梦里，世界重新变得年轻……

“可是，要是下起雨来怎么办呢？”哈里斯问。

他说的没错，下雨天露营实在是令人难以消受。

我又联想起来……

你看，天色已晚，你全身已经湿透，船里到处是水，所有东西都打湿了。你在岸上找了一块稍微干一点的地方，两个人出了船，把帐篷拖上岸，忙着把它支起来。帐篷浸透了水，异常沉重，突然又倒在你身上，压着你，头也伸不出来。你呢，简直快气疯了，而雨还是瓢泼似地下。本来，天好的时候支帐篷就不容易，而到了雨天，根本没戏。另一个人也不帮你，反而自己找乐子。你这边的帐篷刚支起来，把绳子绑在地上的桩子上，他那边使劲一拉，一下子把你辛辛苦苦干的活全废了。

“喂！你干什么？”你冲他大声喊叫。

“你说，你自己在干什么？”他气呼呼地答道。

“别再扯了，全让你扯乱了，你这头蠢驴！”你又喊道。

“得了，我才没扯呢！”他也喊着，“你那边不能松一松吗？”

“我跟你说，你那样不对！”你尖声吼起来，恨不能够走过去揍他一顿。你使劲拉你这边的帐篷，一下子把他那边的绳子、桩子都拔了出来。

“咳！你这个傻蛋！”你听着他咕哝着，接着，也猛地一拉，你这边绳子、桩子也出来了。你缓缓地朝他那边走去，要和他理论；与此同时，他也绕过来要和你评是非。于是，两个人隔着帐篷，你追我赶绕着圈，互相骂个不停。最后整个帐篷都倒了，你们两个站在那儿，隔着这堆帐篷，互相瞪着眼，又异口同声地叫道：“你看你！我是怎么对你说的？”

这时候，还有第三个人，一直从小船里往外舀水。水已经到胳膊了，他也是湿漉漉的，一肚子气，他不明白你们在搞什么名堂，怎么帐篷还没支起来。

最后，帐篷算是支起来了，你把东西从船里搬出来。晚餐主要是雨水——雨水面包，雨水汤。幸亏你还有点够味的东西喝，使你恢复对人生的兴趣，然后酣然入梦。

在梦里，你觉得有一只庞大的动物突然坐在你身上，你一下子醒了，意识到有什么可怕的事发生了。起初你还以为世界末日到了，后来想想又觉得不大可能，那么一定是盗劫、谋杀或者火灾。谁也不来救助，你只觉得成千上万的人在踢你，简直透不过气来。

还有人也遇到了麻烦，你听见从床底下传来的叫喊声。

你决心反抗，手脚并用，左踢右抡，嘴里乱叫乱嚷，终于发现自己脑袋露出来了。离你不远，你看见那个坏蛋了，半裸着身子，正等着要杀你。你正要和他拼命，才发现坏蛋不是别人正是吉姆。

这时候，他也认清了是你。

“哦，原来是你！没错吧？”他说。

“正是我！”你答道，“出什么事了？”

“我想帐篷给刮倒了吧，”他说，“比尔哪里去了？”

两个人扯起嗓子喊比尔。你脚下有什么东西在动，一个声音传出来：“别踩我的脑袋！”

第二天，你们都说不出话来，因为都感冒了。大家整天都气呼呼的，低声粗气，还不停地互相争辩着。

所以我们决定天气好就在外面露营，下雨就住旅馆。

“元帅”对此非常高兴。它生来不喜欢安静、寂寞的生活，而喜欢吵吵闹闹的场面。但它看着讨人喜欢、举止也得体，那些老太太、老先生们看着它那副模样，准会感动得掉下泪来。

当它第一次来和我住的时候，我想：“这只小狗不会在我这儿久留的，对于这个世界来讲，它实在是太好了。”可是到了年底，它已经杀死了人家十二只小鸡，我不得不替它赔偿损失……它在街上打了一百一十四次架，每次我都得把它拉出来……一位妇女抱着一只给它咬死的猫来找我，叫我是凶手。于是我对“元帅”改变了看法。

我们已经决定了在哪里住宿，现在的问题是要讨论该带些什么东西，于是大家又争执起来。最后我们都说这一个晚上发的议论可真不少哇！ The following evening，we discussed what we wanted to take with us．Harris said，'Now get me a piece of pa-per，J．，and write everything down．George，you get a pencil，and I'll make the list．'

That's Harris-he tells everybody what to do，and they do all the work．I remember that my Uncle Podger was like Harris…

Everybody in the house had to help when Uncle Podger did a job．When they bought a picture once，Aunt Podger asked，'Now，where shall we put this？'

'Oh，I'll do it．Don't worry about it．I'll do it all myself，'he said．And then he took off his coat to begin．He sent one of the girls out to buy some nails，and then he sent one of the boys to tell her how big the nails ought to be．'Now，Bill，you go and get my hammer，'he shouted．'And bring me a ruler，Tom．And Jim，I need a ladder-and a kitchen chair，too．Maria，you stay here to hold the light-and Tom，come here！You can give me the picture．'

Then he lifted the picture up…and he dropped it．He tried to catch the glass…and he cut himslef．He looked for something to put round his finger，and he could not find anything．So he danced round the house，and he shouted at everybody．

Half an hour later，the finger had been tied up，they had bought new glass，and everythng was ready．Uncle Podger tried again．Everybody stood round him．They were all ready to help．Two people held the chair， a third helped him to get on it，a fourth gave him a nail，and a fifth passed him the hammer．He took the nail…and he dropped it！

'There，'he said sadly．'Now the nail's gone．'

So everybody got down on the ground to look for it．At last we found the nail，but then he lost the hammer．

'Where's the hammer？What did I do with the hammer？There are seven of you there，and you don't know where the hammer is！'

We found the hammer for him，but then he lost the place on the wall where he was going to put the picture．So each one of us had to get up on the chair and look for the place．And each one of us thought that it was a different place．Then Uncle Podger tried again himself．This time he fell off the chair on to the piano．His head and his body hit the piano at the same time．The music was beautiful，but Uncle Podger's words were not！Aunt Maria was not pleased．She said that she did not want the children to listen to those terrible words．She added calmly，'The next time that you are going to put a picture on the wall，please tell me．Then I can arrange to go and spend a week with my mother．'

Uncle Podger got up and tried again，and at midnight the picture was on the wall．It was not very straight，and everyone was very tired and unhappy．Uncle Podger looked at the picture proudly and said，'You see，it was only a little job！'…

Harris is like that．So I told him that George would write down the list，and I would do the work．He could get the pencil and the paper．

The first list was too long．So we started again．

'Now，'George said，'we don't want to take a tent．We can put a cover over the boat at night．It will be like a little house，lovely and warm and comfortable．It's much easier than a tent．'

Then we made a list of all the clothes we needed．George told us that he knew all about this kind of thing-and we be-lieved him．We discovered later that this was not true．

Next we talked about the food．

'First，breakfast，'George began．'We need eggs，cold meat，tea，bread and butter，of course．And for dinner we can take cold chicken legs，tomatoes，cold meat，fruit，cakes，chocolate…We can drink water．'then he added，'And we can take a bottle of whisky，too-for when we are sick，you know．'

We did not wish to talk about being sick．But later，we were glad we had taken the whisky．

So we made our list，and it was a long one．

3 准备行装

第二天晚上，我们又开始讨论需要带些什么东西。哈里斯说：“来，给我一张纸，杰，你来把需要的东西都记下来。乔治，你去拿笔，我就可以列清单了。”

这是哈里斯一贯的作风：他总是告诉大家要干什么活，让大家忙得不亦乐乎。我不由记起来浦杰叔叔也和哈里斯一样……

浦杰叔叔要是干点什么活，一家人都得帮忙。有一次他们买了一幅画，浦杰婶婶问：“把画挂在什么地方？”

“哦，我来吧，你们谁也甭操心，全交给我一个人得了。”他说着，脱掉外套，就要干活。他先叫了一个女孩子去买钉子，马上又支使一个男孩子赶去告诉她钉子要多大的。“去，比尔，给我拿把锤子，”他喊着，“汤姆，去把尺子拿来。还有吉姆，我还需要个梯子——再要一把厨房里的椅子。玛丽亚，别走开，给我拿着灯照亮——还有，汤姆，快过来，你把画递给我。”

说着，他把画举起来，没想到一下又给掉了，他赶紧去抓玻璃，却又把手割破了。他想找点东西把手指包上，可什么也找不着。就这样，他满屋子乱蹦乱跳，冲着每一个人嚷嚷。

他花了半个小时才把手指包扎好；随后玻璃也买回来了，万事俱备。浦杰叔叔要再干一次，大家都围着他站着，随时帮忙。两个人扶着椅子，第三个人扶他上去，第四个人给他递钉子，第五个人把锤子递给他。他拿着钉子……可这回钉子又掉了。

“你瞧，”他伤心地说，“钉子又掉了。”

于是大家全趴在地上找。最后好不容易找到了钉子，可接着又把锤子弄没了。

“锤子哪里去了？我刚才拿锤子干吗来着？你们七个人都在这儿，居然没一个知道锤子哪去了！”

大家把锤子找到了给他，可是他刚才在墙上准备挂画的记号又找不着了。大家轮流爬上椅子去找那个地方，可每个人找的都不一样。浦杰叔叔自己又找了一遍，结果这次从椅子上摔下去，摔在钢琴上，整个身体，从头到脚都压在上面。音乐真是美妙，但叔叔说的话可不那么好听。玛丽亚姑姑不高兴了，她说她可不想让孩子们听见那些粗话。接着又冷冷地加了一句：“往后你再挂个画什么的，最好先告诉我一声，我好收拾东西去妈妈家住上一星期。”

浦杰叔叔爬上椅子，又试一次。直到半夜，画才算是挂上去了，可还不太直，一家人也都精疲力尽，满心不悦。浦杰叔叔却看着画，不无骄傲地说：“瞧瞧，小事一桩。”

哈里斯就象浦杰叔叔那样。所以我对他说，由乔治列清单，我来说要什么，而他去拿笔和纸。

我们列的第一个清单太长了，只得又重新开始。

“你瞧，”乔治发话了，“咱们不要带帐篷了，晚上可以在船上支个顶篷，当盖子，就象个小房子，又暖和，又可爱，又舒服，却比帐篷简单多了。”

我们又列了个单子，记下要带的衣服。乔治告诉我们这些事他全通晓——我们信了他的话，后来才发现并非象他说的那样。

再接下来，我们讨论吃的东西。

“首先是早餐，”乔治说，“当然了，要有鸡蛋、冷肉、茶、面包和黄油。正餐可以带上冷鸡腿、西红柿、冷肉、水果、蛋糕、巧克力……再喝点水。”说着又加了一句：“咱们带上一瓶威士忌吧——病了就用得着了。”

我们都不愿意谈到生病。但是后来，我们还真庆幸带了威士忌。

这就是我们列的单子，长长的一串。 The next day，which was Friday，we collected all these things together．In the evening we met to pack．

We got a big suitcase for the clothes．There were two large baskets with lids，for the food and for the pans and things to cook with．We moved the table over to the window．Then we put everything in the middle of the floor．

After we had done that，we sat there and we looked at it．

I said that I would pack．

I think that I am very good at packing．It is one of the things that I do best．So I told the others that I would organize it．They agreed to this idea too quickly．That was rather strange．George lit his pipe and sat back in the armchair．Harris put his feet on the table and lit a cigarette．

This was not，of course，what I had expected．When I said that I would organize it，I meant that I would tell them what to do．Then I would sit and watch them do it．

However，I said nothing，and I started to pack the clothes．It took much longer than I had expected，but in the end it was finished．I sat on the suitcase and closed it．George and Harris watched me with great interest．

'Aren't you going to put the boots in？'Harris asked．

I looked round，and saw the boots．Why did Harris wait until I had closed the suitcase？

George laughed quietly．

I opened the suitcase，and I put the boots in．It was not easy！And just as I was going to close the suitcase again，an awful idea came to me．Had I packed my toothbrush？

Of course，I had to look for it，and，of course，I could not find it．I had to take everything out again．I found George's tooth-brush．I found Harris's toothbrush，but I could not find mine．In the end，I found it inside a boot．

I packed everything again．

When I had finished，George asked if the soap was in the suitcase．I said I did not care about the soap．I threw down the lid of the suitcase，and I closed it again．Then I found my cigarettes were inside it．

I finished the suitcase at five past ten，and the food was still not packed！

Harris said，'We have to start the holiday in twelve hours．Perhaps George and I had better do the rest of the packing．'

I agreed，and I sat down．

They began quite happily．I said nothing．I only waited．I looked at all the plates and cups，and bottles，and tomatoes，and cakes，etc．I felt that it was soon going to get exciting．

It did．They started by breaking a cup．That was just to show you what they could do and to get you interested．Then Harris packed a pan on top of a tomato and…well，they had to pick out the tomato with a teaspoon．

And then it was George's turn，and he stepped on the butter．I did not say anything，but I got up and went over to the table and watched them．This annoyed them more than anything，and it made them worried and excited．They stepped on things，and they put things behind them．And then they could not find them when they wanted them．They packed soft things at the bottom of the basket，and then put heavy things on top of them．

Then it got worse．After George got the butter off his shoe，they tried to put it in the teapot．At first they could not get it in．Then，when they did get it in，they decided that the teapot was the wrong place．But they could not get the butter out a-gain．However，in the end they did manage to get it out and they put it down on a chair．Harris sat on it，and when he stood up，the butter stuck to his trousers．Then they looked for the butter all over the room．In the end，George got behind Harris，and he saw it．

'There it is！'he cried．

'Where？'Harris asked，and he turned round quickly．

'Stand still！'George shouted．

When they got the butter off Harris，they packed it in the teapot again．

Montmorency was in all this，of course．He sat down on things just when George and Harris were going to pack them；he put his leg into the sugar；he ran away with the teaspoons．He pretended that the oranges were rats，and he got into the food basket and killed three of them．

The packing was completed at ten to one in the morning，and we all went to bed．George said，'What time shall I wake you two？'

Harris said，'Seven．'

I said'Six．'

In the end we said，'Wake us at half past six，George．'

4 收拾行装

第二天是星期五，晚上我们把那些东西堆在一起，准备收拾。

我们带一个大箱子装衣服，还有两个有盖的篮子，一个装食品，一个装锅和烹饪的东西。我们把桌子搬到窗口，然后把东西一股脑地堆在中间的地板上。

做完这些事，我们坐在那儿，愣愣地看着这一堆东西。

我说，打包的事交给我了。

我对自己的打包能力十分自负，觉得是我最拿手的一件事，所以我对他们俩说我来负责。他们马上欣然同意，毫不犹豫，速度之快有点令我感到蹊跷。乔治点上了烟斗，把自己埋在扶手椅中；哈里斯把脚跷到桌子上，也点了一支香烟。

当然这可出乎我的意料。我的打算是我来组织这个工作，我告诉他们怎么干，然后我坐在那儿看他们干。

尽管如此，我还是二话没说开始装衣服。花的时间可真不少，但我终于还是干完了。我坐在箱子上合住盖。乔治和哈里斯颇有兴致地望着我。

“这些靴子你要不要装进去呀？”哈里斯问。

我回头一看，看见了靴子。这个哈里斯，怎么非等我盖上箱子才说？

乔治悄悄笑了起来。

我又把箱子打开，把靴子装进去，真不容易啊。我刚想合上箱子盖，忽然又冒出一个糟糕的念头，我的牙刷装进去了没有？

毫无疑问，我还得找，可我怎么都找不着。我把所有的东西都掏出来，找到了乔治的牙刷，也找到了哈里斯的牙刷，偏偏就是没有我的。最后还是在一只靴子里找到了。

我把东西重新装好。

等到收拾完了，乔治问肥皂装了没有。我才不管什么肥皂不肥皂的呢！我使劲把盖子压下去，合上，这才发现我的烟又给装进去了。

收拾完箱子已经是晚上十点过五分了，可是吃的东西还没装呢！

哈里斯说：“咱们还有十二个小时就要出发了，其余的东西还是让我和乔治来收拾吧。”

我没有意见，坐在一旁看他们干。

他们一开始还挺高兴。我一言不发，走着瞧吧。看着一大堆盘子、杯子、瓶子、西红柿、和蛋糕什么的，我觉得不一会儿就会有好戏看了。

果不其然。开始是杯子打了，这无非想显示他们很能干，好引起你的兴趣。接着哈里斯把锅压在西红柿上，瞧，只得用茶匙把它们一点一点舀出来。

轮到乔治了。他一脚踩在黄油上面。我一声没吭，起身走到桌子边上看看究竟怎么回事。这更让他们恼怒、烦恼和激动，一会儿又踩着什么了；一会儿把东西搁到身后，转身又忘了，找不着；一会儿把软的东西放到篮子底，把重的压在上面了。

形势越发糟糕了。乔治把黄油从鞋上拿下来，他们使劲把它塞进茶壶里。开始还装不进去，后来装进去了，他们才恍然大悟这儿可不是放黄油的好地方。这次又取不出来了。终于取出来了，他们把黄油放在椅子上，哈里斯一屁股坐上去，起身时全粘到裤子上了。他们四处乱找，后来乔治转到哈里斯背后，才发现了黄油。

“在这儿！”他叫道。

“在哪儿呀？”哈里斯问，不住地转着身子。

“别动！”乔治吼道。

他们总算把黄油从身上取下来，又装进茶壶里去了。

这样的大混乱里，当然少不了“元帅”。乔治和哈里斯装东西的时候，它就坐在上面，一会儿把脚伸进糖罐里，一会儿叼着勺子到处跑，一会儿假装桔子是老鼠，蹿进装食品的篮子里——一下消灭了三个。

凌晨一点差十分，东西包装完毕，大家准备去睡觉。乔治问：“明天什么时候叫醒你们？”

哈里斯说：“七点。”

我说：“六点。”

最后我们说：“乔治，六点半叫我们。” It was Mrs Poppets who woke me the next morning．

She said，'Do you know that it's nearly nine o'clock，sir？'

'What！'I cried，and I jumped out of bed．I woke Harris and told him．

He said，'I thought you told us to get up at six？'

'I did，'I answered．

'Well，why didn't you wake me then？'he asked．'Now we won't be on the water until after twelve o'clock．'

Then we remembered．We looked at George．He was still asleep．Now，it makes me very angry when I see another man asleep and I am awake．We decided to wake George．We ran across the room，and we pulled the bedclothes off him．Harris hit him with a shoe，and I shouted in his ear．He woke up．

'Wh…aa…t，'he began．

'Get up，you fat，lazy thing！'Harris shouted．'It's a quarter to ten！'

Then we began to get ready，and we remembered that we had packed the toothbrushes．So we had to go downstairs to get them out of the suitcase．

Finally，we were ready and Harris said，'We need a good breakfast inside us today．'While we were eating，George got the newspaper and read us interesting pieces from it-pieces about people who had been killed on the river，and interesting reports about the weather．The weather report for that day said，'Rain，cold，wet to fine，some thunder，and an east wind'．But weather reports make me angry anyway．They always tell you what the weather was like yesterday，or the day before．It is never tooday's weather．It is always wrong．I remember that one autumn I went on holiday…

On that holiday，the weather reports in the newspaper were always wrong．on Monday it said，'Heavy rain，with thunder'．So we did not go out that day．All day people passed our house．They were all going out，happy and smiling．The sun was shining and there were no clouds in the sky．

'Ah，'we said，as we watched them，'they'll be very wet when they come back，though．'

And we laughed．Then we sat down by the fire and read our books．