“Hand it to Greg,” Jace said. He wasn’t joking. Even taking the hook
out of a fish’s mouth made him squeamish. “If you really plan on eating
one, there’s this club thing you can whack them over the head with. It’s
called a priest, believe it or not. Greg always jokes about it giving fish
their last rites. Then he makes a cut so they bleed out. Or you can leave
them to suffocate, but that can take a really long time and seems cruel.”
“Think he’d be willing to show me this stuff?” Victor asked.
“Yeah!” Jace said, but then he looked across the lake toward Greg’s
home. When fetching their fishing equipment, he’d asked if Greg had
called or stopped by. He hadn’t.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Jace said, picking at the splintering wood of the
dock. “I was supposed to hang out with Greg today, but he didn’t show.”
“And you think he’s not okay about you being gay?” Victor nudged
him. “Trust me on this. He’s fine. Just give it time.”
Jace looked up. “Maybe I should stop by his place a little later.”
“Give him space. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
“You sure?”
Victor winked. “I’m psychic, remember?”
As the day steadily grew darker, they made small talk, joking with
each other or telling stories from their past. Sometimes, as Jace listened
to Victor and watched the different expressions play out on his face, his
breath would feel short, like he couldn’t get enough air. That he had
kissed this person, would do so again, felt miraculous. The idea of being
able to touch another guy, even in ways that were simple, like when he
placed his hand over Victor’s, seemed amazing. Maybe straight people
always expected this, saw it as something obvious and inevitable, but to
Jace it felt like he’d achieved the impossible.
“I felt something!” Victor said, his body tense as he watched the
bobber in the water. Then he scrambled to his feet. “Shit! Okay! Uh…”
Jace tried to explain what to do but kept laughing at how panicked
Victor was. Eventually he got the hang of it, slowly reeling in the line.
With a splash of water, a shiny speckled fish burst into the air.
“Oh my god!” Victor said, reeling it in with a look of wonder.
“It’s crappie!” Jace said, intoning one of the oldest fishing jokes in
the world.
“Looks good to me!”
“That’s the species name,” Jace said. “Crappie. You can definitely
eat one of those. Crappie taste good, not crappy.”
A protruded golden eye seemed to focus on them momentarily as the
fish spun on its line, jerking occasionally. The fish and its captors
considered each other in silence.
“I want to let it go,” Victor said, voice terse.
“Yeah, okay.” Jace grimaced. He hated this part and had only done it
once or twice. He bent down and got his hands wet in the lake water, just
like Greg always did. “Swing the line around so I can grab it.”
Victor practically smacked him in the face with the fish, but after
ducking and a bit of fumbling, Jace had it in hand. Scowling in
concentration, he grabbed the hook in the fish’s lip. The rest was a matter
of jiggling it free, which still made his brow sweat since he didn’t want
to hurt the poor thing. Ironic, since their goal from the beginning had
been to hook it. Once the metal barb slipped free with minimal damage,
he knelt and placed the fish in the water. It disappeared beneath the
murky surface.
“That was intense,” Victor breathed.
“Yeah.” Jace washed his hands in the water. “Obviously I’m not very
experienced.”
“Are you kidding? You did great!”
Jace smiled and stood. “You’re the one who caught his first fish.”
“Yeah.” Victor looked to where the fish had disappeared. “I’m not
sure this is for me. I felt bad.”
“I know what you mean. But if you’re doing it to survive…”
“True.”
“Just have Greg with you next time. He’s so smooth that the fish
look like they’re having fun.”
Victor laughed. “I’ll keep him in mind.” He considered the horizon.
“It’s getting dark.”
“Should we head back?”
“Not yet. There’s still this.”
From out of his jacket pocket, Victor produced a bar of soap. “About
time to get freshened up,” he said.
Jace stared at him. “Here?”
“Why not? No one will see. You’ll love it.”
That depended on what Victor meant. Jace would love to sit on the
dock and watch Victor bathe himself on the shore, but he didn’t plan on
joining in. “I took a shower this morning.”
“But that fish got its smell all over you.” Victor shook his head.
“Nope. I’m afraid you’re going swimming with me.”
Jace finally understood. “You want to go skinny dipping? With all
those houses right over there?”
Victor didn’t seem concerned. “You’ve lived here your whole life.
How many neighbors do you run into down here? Besides, I thought
you’d be into this. Me and you, naked in the water together.”
“Well, when you put it that way.” Jace considered the settling dusk.
“Just wait a little while longer, when it’s really dark. Then I’ll do it.”
Victor was smug. “Looks like I just caught my second fish.”
Chapter Seven
They sat side by side on the dock, warm where their arms and
shoulders pressed against each other. The light fled from the day, leaving
them alone, the water disturbed only by the bugs dancing across its
surface as if it were made of glass.
Victor leaned close, brought his lips to Jace’s ear. “Time to take off
your clothes.”
Jace laughed and pulled away. “You first.”
“No,” Victor said, getting to his feet. “Together. No hesitating, no
dipping a toe in the water first. We rip off our clothes and jump in.”
“Okay,” Jace said, a fluttering in his chest. He stood, stripping off his
shirt first. Glancing over, he saw Victor had done the same and was
working on his jeans. The sky was clear, but the night was dark, the
moon a tiny sliver. Jace sat again to take off his shoes, wishing he hadn’t
been shy earlier when he could have seen so much more in the dwindling
light. Then again, maybe it was for the best, since Jace was having
enough trouble controlling his body.
“Come on, slow poke,” Victor said. He stood over Jace, wearing
nothing but his underwear.
The second Jace had his shoes off and jeans unzipped, Victor started
pulling at the legs, Jace kicking and laughing in protest. After tossing
Jace’s pants farther down the dock, Victor offered his hand. Jace took it
and was pulled up, brought close enough that he thought they would kiss.
“Ready?” Victor said, thumbs already beneath the waistband of his
underwear.
“Yeah,” Jace said, doing the same.
“Now or never! Go!”
Victor ripped his underwear down and Jace did the same, but he
didn’t have time to gawk, because Victor took him by the hand. Together
they ran and leapt off the end of the dock, fingers losing their grip as they
plunged into the water.
Cold! The first thing Jace thought of was his suicide leap into the
Blackwater River. For a moment, he wondered if he was still there, all of
this a mad fantasy produced by his oxygen-starved brain. But as his head
broke the surface, he saw stars above him. Gasping for air, he felt a hand
seek out his, a leg brush against his own.
“It’s freezing!” Jace said.
“I think the right term is ‘bracing,’” Victor said, eyes wild. “Come
on. Keep moving and you’ll warm up.”
Victor headed for the middle of the lake, pulling Jace along until
certain he would follow. Then they released each other and started
swimming properly. Victor was right. It wasn’t so bad, the two days of
sun having tempered the water. Not that Jace had ever taken a bath in
water this cold, but he wouldn’t need any old fisherman to save his life
this time.
Victor stopped swimming, turning in the water with glee. Jace didn’t
stop swimming until he was on top of him, Victor angling back in the
water to accommodate.
“Now you’re all freshened up and don’t have an excuse,” Jace said,
stealing a kiss.
Victor kissed him back, their bodies touching beneath the water, but
only fleetingly as they paddled in place. An arm bumped against a hip, or
legs brushed against each other before sweeping away. If they did stop
moving and pressed against each other completely, they would sink to
the bottom. Jace thought it might be worth the sacrifice.
Oddly enough, Victor was having similar thoughts. “How deep do
you think this lake is?” he asked before sucking in air and disappearing
beneath the surface. Jace was alone. He spun in the water, searching for
some sign of his friend, and noticed how different the lake looked. His
whole life he’d been standing on the shore, never even taking a boat on
the lake since it seemed too small to be worth it. But now that he was out
here, he saw the other side of the picture he’d been missing: The ring of
trees, the small docks, and the gentle way the valley was lit by porch
lights.
Something grabbed his ankle, causing him to yelp.
Victor’s head popped up next to his. “Didn’t manage,” he panted.
“You try. You’re taller.”
Jace nodded, taking a deep breath before bringing his limbs close to
his body. He plunged down through the darkness like a torpedo, feeling a
little scared of the things around him that he couldn’t see. He was
picturing the fish they’d caught chasing after him, seeking revenge, when
his feet touched muddy ground. Jace kicked off this, bouncing upward
again, lungs growing tight. Then he burst into air, Victor’s face
expectant.
“Well?”
“Easy.” Jace said.
“I’ll try again.”
But Jace grabbed him before he could dive, hugging their torsos
together and kicking extra hard to keep them afloat. He pressed his lips
against Victor’s, the temperature in his body rising a few degrees. He
was moving his hands down Victor’s back when something splashed at
the shore, scaring him.
“Just a frog,” Victor said. “All your neighbors are locked up in TV
land, don’t worry.”
“Is your life always like this?” he asked.
Victor looked wistful. “No, this is just the dream. So far at least.
Why? Think you could get used to it?”
Jace thought about the comforts of home: a hot shower, a warm bed,
and a cold refrigerator. “No,” he said honestly, “but I sure like visiting.”
They swam together a little longer, but even Victor had to admit the
truth.
“This isn’t the right time of year for this,” he said. “Let’s head back
to the dock so I can wash up.”
Once there, Jace climbed out. They didn’t have any towels, so he did
his best impression of a dog and shook off the water. Then he hurriedly
got dressed, out of necessity more than humility. He was cold! His
clothes helped to soak up the remaining moisture, but already he was
shivering.
Victor sat on the edge of the dock while Jace was dressing, lathering
the soap and washing before plopping back in the lake. His back was
turned during all of this, and despite the little that Jace could see, he felt
like drooling. Geez, maybe he was turning into a dog!
When Victor got out of the water, Jace didn’t want to appear
desperate, so he busied himself with packing up their fishing equipment.
“Let’s hurry back to camp,” Victor said. “The fire will get us
warmed up again.”
Victor usually walked the easy, carefree stroll of a person with all the
time in the world. Now he practically sprinted back to the campsite. Jace
kept pace right behind him. The outside temperature was steadily
dropping, their damp clothes clinging to their skin and absorbing any
heat. Victor skidded to a halt in front of the campfire and worked on
getting it lit. He’d built another long fire like Greg had instructed, which
would be heavenly once roaring.
“Get in the sleeping bag and warm up,” Victor said. He glanced over
when Jace had one leg in. “Take your clothes off first or they’ll never dry
out.”
The idea of being even more exposed to the elements seemed bad,
even if temporary, but Jace did what he was told. Victor was too busy
with the fire to watch him anyway, and he supposed it was silly to feel
shy after swimming naked together.
The camp site was soon illuminated by the fire, warmth returning to
the world, but Jace was still cold and Victor’s teeth were practically
chattering. He took one look at Jace and started tearing off his clothes
without the slightest bit of shame. Jace stared. He couldn’t help himself.
The lake had been dark, but now the fire revealed all. He’d seen quite a
bit of Victor’s body already, except for—
The underwear came off. Angels should have played trumpets to
mark the occasion. Victor wasn’t hard, but in this weather, Jace didn’t
take that personally. What he noticed most was the raven-black pubic
hair, a stark difference to the blondish-brown of his own. Victor’s
package bounced its way toward him. Jace tore away his eyes, seeing an
expression that looked desperate, but not with lust.
“Coooold!” Victor whined. “Make room for me!”
The sleeping bag was definitely not built for two. They had to unzip
it down to Jace’s waist so Victor could squeeze in, and then Victor had to
press his back against Jace to get it zipped up again. This left absolutely
no room for privacy, which meant his reaction to seeing Victor nude was
all too apparent. Even worse, the stupid thing kept twitching of its own
accord.
“Uh, sorry,” Jace said.
Victor laughed. “Hey, at least it’s warm!”
With their combined body heat and the radiating heat from the fire,
Victor soon stopped shivering. “How do you usually survive winters?”
Jace asked, but he didn’t hear the answer. He was staring at Victor’s
neck, where the wide stripe of hair ended. He nuzzled this mane with his
nose and then kissed Victor’s neck. Jace had his arm around him to help
warm him, but now his hand was itching to explore. He moved it
experimentally.
“Can I—?”
“No limits,” Victor reminded him.
Jace didn’t need any more encouragement. He slid his palm across
Victor’s chest, feeling the tickle of hair. Then he started kissing Victor’s
neck more intensely, moving his hand south. Sometimes Jace wondered
