house. In the evenings, he’d walk to Bernie’s to keep Jace company.
Once, when Dan complained that Victor needed to buy something or
leave, Jace gave Victor money that he used to buy something small every
half-hour. Not that this was truly necessary, but it made Dan livid, and
thus was a cheap form of entertainment.
The nights that Dan left early became a happy occurrence.
Customers were fewer in the dire weather, and it felt like the store
belonged to them. They had magazines, drinks, food, smokes, even
scratch-off lottery tickets. One week Jace spent almost his entire
paycheck on items from the store, but he didn’t care. He’d already saved
up enough money for Christmas, and these little indulgences were worth
the boost they gave Victor’s spirit.
That was the new challenge. As happy as Jace was by these forced
circumstances, Victor became increasingly glum as the snow and ice
refused to melt. Even Star couldn’t come to his rescue, since the roads
were so slick. So Jace did everything he could to cheer up Victor, loving
every moment. One night he bought a bottle of whiskey. If Bernard
noticed, Jace would say it was a Christmas present for his father. This
wasn’t the only lie he had planned. He told his parents he was staying at
Greg’s, but spent the night in Victor’s basement bedroom. They drank so
much that Jace blacked out, but what he could remember had been
heaven; Victor’s smile, the sound of his laughter—they were more
intoxicating than the liquor.
And then there were snow days when school was canceled because
so many cars couldn’t leave their driveways and the school buses were
stranded in their barn. Jace had bundled up and made the walk
downtown, often sliding and falling on his way, but any struggle was
worth his destination.
When Christmas rolled around, Jace woke up early like he did every
year. He met his sister in the hallway, and together they woke up their
parents. Then they raced down the stairs to the tree, waiting impatiently
for their mom and dad to arrive so they could begin opening presents.
Not that they were waiting in suspense.
“Do you think I should go for the stereo first?” his sister whispered.
“Or is that too obvious?”
“Maybe open one of the CDs,” Jace suggested. “Act all confused
about not having a CD player before going for the big box.”
Michelle laughed. “Okay.”
He and his sister knew every place their mother hid presents. What
they were getting hadn’t been a mystery since Jace was eight. These days
Serena had the items gift wrapped at the store, but there were ways
around this too. The nice glossy paper made it possible to carefully peel
back the tape. Otherwise, using a box cutter, they could make small
incisions on the bottom of the present to see what they were dealing with.
This year was different because Jace could actually buy presents for
his family. He bought his father a bottle of whisky after all, and for his
mother, her favorite perfume. Michelle got a nice pair of headphones for
her new stereo, which only left a small envelope under the tree. That was
for Victor. Jace tore through his presents as quickly as possible, then
raced upstairs to take a shower and get ready. The sun had barely risen
when he hopped in the car and drove to Victor’s house.
Thankfully, Victor didn’t have any philosophical misgivings about
Christmas. A warm light was on in the front window, and when Mrs.
Hemingway answered the front door, her hand was pressed against the
necklace Jace had helped Victor pick out. And paid for, but hey, all part
of the holiday spirit!
“Is that new?” Jace asked, drawing attention to it. “Wow!
Gorgeous!”
“Yes, Victor gave it to me!”
“How sweet!”
Mrs. Hemingway gave a coy little smile. “I think he has something
for you too.”
Jace paused. He wasn’t really expecting that, and the prospect made
him oddly nervous. “Uh, these are from my mom.”
He handed Mrs. Hemingway a tin full of homemade cookies. After a
little more small talk, he went downstairs to Victor’s room. Jace found
him lying in his bed, wearing an old Misfits T-shirt and a pair of flannel
pajama bottoms. Maybe Victor planned on giving him the sort of present
Jace was in the mood for.
But these thoughts were chased away when he saw what his
boyfriend was doing.
“Are you reading?”
Victor lowered the book. “Believe it or not, I do know how.”
Jace chuckled nervously, hopped into bed next to him, and checked
out the title. “The Survivalist’s Handbook. A present from your mom?”
“Yup! There’s a whole section on surviving freezing temperatures.”
“Great, I’ll never see you again!”
Victor grinned. “Sure you will. I’ll have you over for hot chocolate
once my new igloo is built.”
“Better make it milkshakes if you don’t want the walls to melt.” Jace
licked his lips nervously and dug in his pocket for the envelope. It was
smaller than a greeting card, no bigger than a business card because
that’s all it was. “Merry Christmas.”
Victor took it, flipping it over a few times. “You first,” he said, rising
from bed to fetch a present on the nightstand. He tossed it to Jace, who
managed to catch it.
Whatever it was had more weight than he expected. The wrapping
job was rough, like a kid had crumpled paper around a rock. He could
detect all sorts of edges beneath the surface. Feeling apprehensive, he
tore off the paper. Jace smelled the wood before he saw it, and after
turning the object over, he saw a small hand-carved lion looking him in
the eye. There was no mistaking it. Four legs, a tail, and a mane, but
unlike the way most lions were depicted, this one wasn’t roaring. Instead
it appeared calm.
“Did you make this?” Jace asked, throat tight.
“I sure hope so!” Victor said. “I can’t imagine anyone paying money
for it.”
Jace disagreed. The carving was good. Really good! “I love it,” he
said truthfully.
“I’m glad. I feel like it’s a part of your home, since it’s from the
woods by your place.”
Jace looked up. “You carved this there?”
“Whittled,” Victor said, getting back into bed. “And yeah. I sat out
there thinking about you, and that’s what came to mind.”
“A lion?” Jace balked. “How am I a lion?”
“Well—” Victor reached over to muss his hair. “You’ve got the
mane. You know I love your hair. But more than that, you have a sort of
nobility, like a king who rules with kindness instead of brute strength.
That’s what I see when I look at you. A noble lion.”
That’s not what Jace saw, or what he imagined Victor saw when they
locked eyes. He caressed the deep lines in the wood, feeling moved. The
idea that Victor had been thinking of him back then... Jace could still
remember being stuck in his bedroom, grounded, his thoughts
obsessively fixed on one person. He had never expected that Victor had
felt the same way. And now they were together. Jace the lion, Victor the
fox.
Then he realized how well their two presents fit together. “Open
yours!” he said.
Victor did, pulling a business card from the envelope. He saw the
back of it first, the crude drawing of a fox running along a black line.
Then he turned the card over and read out loud. “Tint and Tone Tattoos.
Hey, this is Mike’s store!”
“You know him?” Jace asked.
“Well, I was in there once when I was fourteen. I tried to get a free
tat out of him. I said he could experiment on me with new inks or
dangerous needles. I even offered to sweep up or something.” Victor
laughed at the memory, before looking puzzled. “Did you get me a job
there?”
“No, stupid. I’m getting you a tattoo. The one you’ve always
wanted.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Victor said. “By which I really mean
‘oh my fucking god, I hope you don’t change your mind!’”
“There’s no time to,” Jace said. “Your appointment is in a few
hours.”
Victor’s jaw dropped. “No shit? On Christmas Day?”
“Mike said it wasn’t that unusual a request. He’s done at least one
tattoo every Christmas since he opened.” Of course it had cost extra, but
Jace didn’t care. The grin on Victor’s face was worth every penny.
* * * * *
“Does it hurt?”
“I told you to stop asking me that,” Victor said.
“I know, but that’s when you were actually getting the tattoo. I want
to know if it hurts now.”
“Terribly,” Victor said, but he smiled.
They sat together on the couch in the family room. Upstairs Jace’s
mom was getting something ready to eat. Next door, they could hear
Michelle’s stereo blaring, as it had been all day. Jace’s father had
retreated to the upper floor, trying to escape her Queensr.che marathon.
“It looks like it hurts,” Jace said, poking the bandage.
“Ow! It does when you do that!”
“Sorry.”
Victor turned his glare to the gauze covering. It resembled the kind
packed with meat to sop up the excess blood. “It sucks not being able to
see it. I’m taking it off.”
“It hasn’t been six hours,” Jace said
“I’m taking it off,” Victor repeated.
Jace didn’t stop him. He wanted to see it too. Victor slowly peeled
back the first two pieces of tape, as if his skin were made of delicate
paper. The bandage flopped open, revealing a masterpiece. Mike wasn’t
just good with a needle. He was an artist! A fox ran along a thick black
band, its head turned to the side, as if it had just spotted the viewer. The
fox’s eyes were multicolored, one green, one brown. Jace thought that an
especially nice touch. On the inside of his arm, above the black band,
Victor had made his own contribution by requesting two little words. No
limits.
“That’s sexy,” Jace said.
“Yeah?” Victor eyed the raised skin proudly. “I like it too. I guess
I’m supposed to wash it now.”
“Wait here.” Jace hopped up and ran upstairs. When he returned he
had a bowl from the kitchen, filled with warm sudsy water and a
washcloth. Victor had removed the bandage completely, so Jace got the
cloth wet and gently dabbed at the tattoo. When he looked up, he found
Victor watching him instead of his actions.
“Feel okay?” Jace asked.
“Yeah.” Victor smiled. “I’m happy. Not just with the tattoo, but with
you. With us. I really like being around you.”
Jace dabbed at the tattoo. “So what you’re saying is that you lll—”
He acted like his tongue wouldn’t work right. “That you lll—llo—”
Victor shoved him playfully, water slopping onto the couch. “Come
upstairs with me and I’ll show you how I feel.”
Jace didn’t need any more prompting than that.
Chapter Eleven
Star lived in a maisonette apartment in downtown Kansas City, just
off the illustrious Country Club Plaza. Jace didn’t know what a
maisonette was, but as they toured the apartment and were led up the
spiral staircase, he figured the second floor was what made the
difference. The entire apartment was gorgeous, more spacious than
where Victor’s mother lived, and decorated with furniture expensive
enough to be considered tasteful, no matter how much of it went against
common sense. Nestled in the top corner of the building, the apartment’s
every window offered a breathtaking view.
The first floor housed a kitchen, separate dining room, bathroom, and
balcony. The upper floor featured two bedrooms, a spacious master bath
and—because one is never enough—another balcony. Star led them out
onto this, which was high enough to see over the treetops. The Plaza
lights twinkled at them, trying to lure them into the maze of upscale
shopping and dining.
“Must be hard living in the slums,” Jace said, leaning over the iron
rail and watching the traffic below zoom by.
Star laughed, her breath visible in the cold night air. “Every day is a
struggle,” she said.
“How’d you manage to escape from Warrensburg to this?” he asked
with envy.
“Bank robber,” Victor said, lighting a cigarette.
“Boyfriend,” Star countered. “One with more money than time,
which is just how I like them. He keeps me here, and just over there—”
She pointed to houses in the distance. “—he keeps his wife and
children.”
“He’s married?” Jace said, not hiding his shock. Star giggled and
Victor shook his head, making him feel out of his element.
Which he was. Trips to the city were normally with his family,
around Michelle’s birthday when she wanted a special shopping trip. Or
with Greg, when they went to the haunted houses in the rundown
industrial district. The level of freedom Star had was unprecedented to
him. Is that why Victor liked her, because she was living on her own
terms, like he did? Then again, Victor hadn’t seemed impressed during
the tour, but maybe just because he’d seen it all before.
Star shivered, grabbed Jace’s arm, and led him back inside. Victor
remained smoking on the balcony.
“So how are things with you and Victor?” she asked.
“Great!” Jace said. “Unbelievably good. He’s been around a lot
more. We even went on a double date!”
“Victor,” Star deadpanned. “On a date.”
“Yeah, I know. My best friend, Greg, he’s really supportive so, uh,
he arranged everything. I don’t think his girlfriend knew what to make of
us, so that was awkward. Then, halfway through the movie, Victor
dragged me off to the bathroom to smoke a joint. I ended up feeling
paranoid, which sucked, and Angie never stopped staring at us. But Greg
and Victor seemed to have fun together.”
“Maybe they should be dating instead,” Star teased. “So aside from
an awkward date, you two are—”
“Hot.” Jace laughed nervously. “I think that sums it up.”
Star nodded in approval, but her eyebrows were raised kind of funny.
Was it surprise over Victor’s behavior or something more?
“Do you always get paranoid when you’re high?” she asked.
“No. Just that once. I guess because we were in public.”
“That’s good. Tonight won’t be pretty if that happens a lot.”
“Oh.” Jace wasn’t as into drugs as Victor seemed to be, but weed
could help take the edge off. Except it wasn’t that simple. Once Victor
was back inside, they all gathered in the kitchen.
