someone like Star.
“Oh my gosh!” Adrien moved to the dresser, picked up an envelope,
and shook it excitedly. “You didn’t see what came in the mail
yesterday.”
Jace recognized the handwriting. The contents were always the same,
but he pretended not to know. “Who’s that from?”
“My grandma, and yes, she sent me a very handsome photo of
Ulysses S. Grant.”
“Fifty bucks? Nice!”
“Very nice,” Adrien said, coming toward him with a seductive gleam
in his eye. “Which means I’m taking you out to dinner tonight. There’s a
little French place I’ve been dying to try.”
“Frog legs?” Jace said. “Snails? Baguettes?”
Adrien playfully whacked the envelope against Jace’s chest.
“There’s more to French cuisine than that. You’ll see. I want you to wear
the forest-green dress shirt I gave you for Christmas. It matches your
eyes.”
“My eyes are blue,” Jace replied.
“Then it compliments them.” Adrien moved in for a kiss.
“Wait,” Jace said with a chuckle. “Nine months together and you
don’t know what color my eyes are?”
“I commit other parts of you to memory.”
“Yeah, well the memory is all you’ll get right now,” Jace said,
backing away. “Maybe you can seduce me when I’m stuffed full of
snails and groggy from wine.”
“Have it your way,” Adrien said. “I didn’t want to muss my hair
anyway. So what did Greg want?”
“Oh yeah! He’s coming to visit.”
“Next week?” Adrien raised an eyebrow and returned to the dresser
to choose an outfit. “Will he be snoring away on our couch again?”
“No, that’s the weird thing. He’s getting a hotel.”
Adrien turned around, fingers buttoning up a pearl-colored shirt.
“Really? Can he afford that?”
His boyfriend looked surprised. As much as Adrien liked to put on
airs and play the cultural sophisticate, he was still a poor college student.
The way Adrien had managed to transform their little dorm room was the
perfect example. He and Jace shared a bed every night, cramming onto a
full-sized mattress so short that Jace’s feet always hung off the edge, but
this left enough space for a small couch and a tiny coffee table. The dorm
room looked like a living room in miniature, and Adrien had done it all
on a budget, raiding thrift stores and bargain bins for every decorative
vase or mood-enhancing light fixture. Adrien had created a little
kingdom for them both, even if it was built from matchsticks. He
understood that money was tight.
“I said he could crash on the couch, but he wanted to get a hotel.”
“Maybe some girl finally managed to tie him down.” Adrien
frowned, tugging on a pair of slacks. Then his face lit up. “Or maybe
some lucky guy finally got him in bed!”
“Keep dreaming,” Jace said. “Anyway, it’ll be good to see him
again.”
It always was. Jace only made it home for the Christmas holiday and
occasionally summer break. This wasn’t enough for Greg. He came to
visit as often as he could, and every time he did, it felt like he brought a
little piece of home with him. Jace shook his head at the thought. To
think that he would ever miss Warrensburg!
“So what are we going to do with this gloriously free Saturday?”
Jace asked.
“Shopping,” Adrien answered instantly.
“Ah, you mean window shopping?”
Adrien shot him a wink. “Honey, we’re so broke we can’t afford
shops fancy enough to have windows!”
Jace grinned. “Then it’s off to the mall we go!”
* * * * *
The French restaurant felt more like a café, the tables small and
rustic. There were no tablecloths or mysterious little forks and knives
that served very specific purposes. Jace was glad. Some of the
restaurants Adrien liked made Jace uncomfortable, although he had
become good at pretending otherwise.
“Let’s order a bottle of wine,” Adrien said, nearly licking his lips in
anticipation.
“Can we afford that?”
“If you mean do we have enough cash to pay the bill at the end, then
yes.” Adrien’s eyes sparkled. “If you’re asking if we should waste
money on something as nonessential as wine, then of course not.”
Jace shrugged and smiled. “As long as we can afford to pay.”
“Will you be having chicken or fish?”
Jace glanced at the menu. “I was thinking about the beef. Uh… The
beef borg…”
“Boeuf bourguignon,” Adrien said with a perfect accent. “I’ll never
understand why you took Italian instead of French.”
“Well, if we ever went out for pizza, maybe I’d have a chance to
impress you.”
Adrien didn’t crack a smile. Instead his attention was focused on the
wine menu. “And if I also choose beef, which I will, what sort of wine
will I order?”
“Red,” Jace said. “So, a Merlot?”
“Very good,” Adrien said approvingly, “but I think we’ll opt for a
Pinot Noir instead.”
The waiter arrived to take their orders. He was the same age as they
were, probably went to the same school. For once it felt good to be
served, instead of serving. Jace had waited tables since his first year in
Houston, as had Adrien until he landed a job at the university library a
few months back.
“I’m excited,” Adrien said. “Are you excited?”
“About the food?” Jace glanced around to make sure no one was
listening. “They had frog legs on the menu.”
Adrien waved a hand dismissively. “Only because people expect
them to. Maybe you could get a job here instead. Bring me home cold
snails every night.”
Jace couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not and didn’t want to ask.
When the waiter returned, he had a basket of sliced baguette and their
bottle of wine. He went through the uncorking ritual that Jace always
found hard to take seriously. After pouring a little in their glasses, the
waiter invited them to try the wine. Jace took a sip. It tasted like wine.
What a shock!
“No,” Adrien said, his face sour. “Definitely not. This wine has been
corked.”
The waiter stared, mouth open. “Corked?”
“Tainted,” Adrien said, voice rising. “Try it.”
“I don’t have a glass,” the waiter spluttered.
“You might as well drink from the bottle. We certainly won’t be
drinking that!”
“Adrien,” Jace said softly.
“Look,” Adrien snapped, his attention still on the waiter. “Just bring
us another bottle. A Merlot this time.”
Jace was quiet until the waiter had disappeared into the back room.
“Was that necessary?”
Adrien looked surprised, as if he couldn’t find anything wrong with
his behavior. “What do you mean? The wine was corked. You’re getting
your Merlot now, so you should be happy.”
“Thrilled,” Jace said. He would have been just as happy with water.
“It’s just… You know how hard this job can be, and it looks like he’s the
only one working tonight.”
“I wouldn’t have argued,” Adrien shot back. “I would have tried the
damn wine when the customer asked me to, and I sure as hell would have
known what ‘corked’ means.”
Jace clenched his jaw, but forced himself to take a deep breath.
“Then you would have come home and complained about that
customer.”
Adrien shrugged. “He’s more than welcome to bitch to his mother or
whoever when he’s off work.” He poked at a slice of bread. “I want us to
have a nice night. It’s so rare we get to do this. I just want everything to
be perfect.”
“I know,” Jace said.
When the waiter returned with another bottle, Jace assured him the
wine was fine, even before they had taken a sip. Adrien glared at him
from over the wine glass as he drank.
Jace met his gaze. “It’s fine, right?”
“Yes. It’s fine.” Adrien filled their glasses higher while frowning.
“So was the first bottle.”
“What? Then why—”
“You saw the look he gave us when we came in. Or did you miss it?”
Jace had seen it. Although not when they first came in. But when the
waiter asked them the obvious, if there were two of them, and Adrien
had answered—that’s when it happened. The waiter’s eyebrows had
risen, and he had looked between them, putting the pieces together. Not
that anyone needed to be a detective. When Adrien spoke, people heard a
lisp and judgment was cast. Jace had seen it happen to Adrien before.
The woman in housing who Adrien had referred to as a bitch earlier in
the day had snidely suggested he transfer to the dorms for women. Just
because Adrien was feminine. Sure, maybe he could be rude at times, but
not entirely without reason.
“I saw the look,” Jace answered. “But maybe he’s gay and was
excited to see two guys together.”
“No.” Adrien shook his head. “I’ve been putting up with this my
whole life. Believe me, I can tell.”
“But maybe—and I’m just throwing this out there—it isn’t worth
reacting to people like that. Who cares what he thinks about us?”
Adrien was uncharacteristically quiet, toying with the edge of the
burgundy cloth napkin. “I tried to change,” he said eventually. “When I
was younger. I kept getting picked on at school, and I asked my parents
what I could do about…” Adrien gestured at himself. “They took me to a
speech therapist. I was excited too. Finally I would sound normal! The
speech therapist encouraged me to avoid words with an ‘s’ in them,
which is fucking impossible, and then he gave me these screaming
exercises.”
“Screaming?”
Adrien’s smile was bitter. “I was supposed to scream into a pillow
for a certain amount of time each day to tear my vocal cords or
something and make my voice deeper. Honestly, I think the doctor was a
quack.”
Jace was almost scared to ask, but he did anyway. “Did you try?”
“Of course I tried,” Adrien said softly. “It felt kind of good, helped
get all the frustration out. But that’s all it did. Eventually I decided I
didn’t care.” He shook his head. “That’s not true. I still cared, but I
decided not to put up with anyone’s shit again. Perhaps that’s horrible,
but it was a turning point for me. I was still me and people still hated me
for it, but I became defiant.” Adrien locked eyes with him. “I like that
word. Defiant.”
“I’m sorry,” Jace said. “I wish I had known you then. Sounds like
you needed a friend.”
Adrien smirked. “You would have been more than my friend. And
it’s not a big deal anymore. I like who I am. Besides, all this seething
anger will come in handy in the courtroom. That’s when I’ll have my
revenge on the world.”
Adrien’s dream was to become a prosecuting attorney. Jace could
just imagine the cocky expression on a criminal’s face when a gay
lawyer swished into the courtroom, and how it would change to fear
when Adrien’s vicious side emerged.
Their food arrived, and to Jace’s relief, it tasted fine. Great, in fact.
Warm food in their bellies, and a glass of wine or two later, and their
evening out together felt a lot more relaxed.
“I have some good news,” Adrien said. “Potentially. A friend of a
friend tipped me off about a condo that’s opening up soon.”
Jace saw where this was going. Adrien was always searching for a
scheme to get them off campus. “Did this friend of a friend tell you
where to find buried treasure as well?”
“I know, but trust me, this thing is cheap. I say ‘condo’ when really
it’s a miserable one-bedroom apartment.”
“Sounds charming.”
“With a nice little balcony,” Adrien continued unabashed, “that
overlooks a pedestrian zone on some little shopping street. I have no idea
where, but I love the idea of sitting on the balcony, sipping martinis and
lording over all the little people below.”
“It would have to be ridiculously cheap,” Jace said.
“I know. Money will be tight, but you’ll have graduated by then and
be working full-time.”
Jace snorted. “And you’ll be in law school. So I’m supposed to
support your ass for three years?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a kept boy,” Adrien said, motioning for
the check. “Besides, I’ll return the favor when I’m a filthy rich lawyer.”
“Maybe,” Jace said.
“We can at least look at the place.”
“Maybe,” Jace repeated, but he couldn’t help smiling at the idea.
Sure, they already lived together, but having a home of their own, no
matter how small, could be nice.
After they paid, they walked back to campus. Adrien was in high
spirits, grabbing Jace’s hand and holding on to him. Every time Jace
glanced over, he saw bedroom eyes. That they made it back to the dorm
instead of finding bushes to hide in was a small miracle. Adrien was
always like this after a few glasses of wine. As soon as the door to their
room was closed, Jace was accosted. Adrien’s lips smashed into his,
nimble fingers working at the buttons on his shirt and pants.
“I love you,” Adrien breathed.
Jace responded, like he always did, by kissing him harder. That was
enough.
Usually.
Adrien pulled away. “Why don’t you ever say it back?”
Because— Jace’s chest felt tight. Because of many reasons. Or just
one. He had never said it before. Not like that, at least. But this wasn’t
the problem. The real issue was that Jace had never said it to Victor. All
the time they’d shared, and despite Victor never holding back with these
words, Jace had never dared to utter them in response. That alone
attested to how messed up their relationship had been, but in the
present… Well, if he’d never said those three little words to Victor, he
sure as hell wasn’t going to say them to Adrien. Because—
He didn’t want to think about it. Instead he dragged Adrien into bed.
“Words can be hollow,” Jace murmured. “Actions are not.”
“What sort of actions?” Adrien asked, hormones silencing any
doubts. As Jace worked his magic, all either of them could do was moan.
Maybe it was the wine, but as Jace closed his eyes, thrusting above
Adrien, he thought he could hear the wind blowing through the trees, the
crackle of a fire, and the splashing of water as two boys jumped into a
lake together.
* * * * *
A series of raps on the door—one, two, three!—and then it swung
open. Jace turned around, the breath catching in his throat. Sometimes—
rarely—he saw Greg with a fresh perspective. Especially after being
apart months at a time. He saw the amber eyes, the brown hair that
