complimented his tanned skin, or the easy smile that was as loose as
Greg’s muscles were tight. Then history would catch up with Jace,
bringing visions of an eight-year-old boy hunkered down so low on his
bike that his head was nearly between the handlebars. Or the teenager
who wore a Band-Aid over his first pimple until it healed and went away.
Greg was his friend—practically his brother. To others, he was gorgeous.
To Jace, he was family.
“Come here, you!” Greg threw his arms open wide, but only long
enough to trap Jace between them and squeeze. Somehow he managed to
swing Jace around, even though he was a few inches shorter than him.
“How are you, you son of a bitch?”
“Fine,” Jace said, and then added, “you fucker.”
“Nuh-uh. Don’t try to sound straight.” Greg pushed him playfully. “I
like you just the way you are, you big homo.”
“Thanks, you miserable breeder.”
“That’s more like it.” Greg flopped down on the couch, still
grinning. “Haven’t managed to reproduce yet. I keep trying, but…”
“Practice makes perfect.” Jace sat on the bed across from him. “To
what do I owe this pleasure?”
“A guy can’t visit his best friend on a whim?” Greg surveyed the
room, which didn’t take long, considering its size. “Where’s Adrien?”
“Working,” Jace said.
Greg sat up. “Really? That’s a relief!” He managed to appear
sheepish. “I mean, it’s nice to have you all to myself.”
“I know exactly what you meant,” Jace said, but he let it slide. “Is
that why you’re staying in a hotel? I know Adrien can be a handful, but
—”
Greg waved a hand dismissively. “Nah. I just needed the extra space.
You’ll see. Hey, you want to go for a walk?”
Jace smiled knowingly. “You brought a girl along, didn’t you?” He
stood and went to the window. “Which one is it? The blonde?”
Greg joined him at the window. “Nope, but it might be if we get
down there in time. Let’s go.”
“If you insist.” Jace said, opting to leave his jacket behind. Winter
had retreated and the trees were in bloom. Maybe he’d even get a light
tan.
“Wait up,” Greg said as Jace headed for the door. “Do you always
wear your hair like that? No gel or anything? I don’t remember it being
so poofy.”
“It’s the humidity here,” Jace said, reaching up to ruffle it. “Adrien
says it looks good.”
“Yeah, it does. I guess. What do I know, right?”
“Right.” Jace raised an eyebrow. “As long as you aren’t embarrassed
to be seen with me.”
Greg winced. “I don’t mean it like that. I just want to make sure
you’re looking your best. And you are. Have you been working out?”
“No,” Jace said, trying not to squirm as Greg looked him over. “Uh,
you’re freaking me out.”
“Sorry. It was a long drive.” Greg waved a finger in circles around
one of his ears. “Makes me feel a little crazy. Or maybe I’m just hungry.
Can we eat at Grumpy Towers like last time?”
“Moody Towers,” Jace corrected, although he had to admit the
residence hall was oddly named. He led the way down the stairs and
outside to gloriously warm weather. The afternoon sun was still high, as
if unwilling to set—the sky still blue and hinting of the summer to come.
“Man, that’s nice,” Greg said. “We had snow last week.”
“Really?”
“Yup. It didn’t stick, but we won’t be seeing green any time soon.”
Greg nudged him. “Mind if we cut through that park? I want to enjoy this
while I can.”
“Sure.” Jace’s every step felt light, and it wasn’t just the weather.
Being around Greg when he visited always felt good, the best of both
worlds: Jace was far away from Warrensburg but had his best friend here
with him. “I suppose, seeing as it’s our last semester of college, that
there’s no point in talking you into transferring down here?”
Greg chuckled. “Not unless we both go for our master’s degrees.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Jace said. “I still don’t know what I want to do.”
“You want to move back to Warrensburg,” Greg said, “and be my
partner in the business I’m starting.”
Jace stopped in his tracks. “You’ve decided?”
Greg nodded. “You’re going to laugh, but I’m going into land
development.”
“I could see that being viable,” Jace said, keeping a straight face.
“Where will you be moving to?”
Greg feigned a punch at him. “I’ll never understand what you have
against Warrensburg. It’s a college town! We have a state university. It’s
only a matter of time before the city—”
“Town,” Jace corrected.
“Until it explodes.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll help you blow it up.”
Greg shook his head, walking in a different direction. “You’ll see.
Warrensburg has potential, and I’ll be there to cash in on it.”
“If you can turn that town around, you’ll be doing me a favor as
well.” Jace considered the gently swaying trees above. “Until then, I
think I’ll settle down here.”
“Bummer,” Greg said. “Your family misses you.”
Jace nodded. “I miss them too.”
They walked a little further before Greg stopped again. “Not just
your family. A lot of people back home miss you.”
Jace felt moved. “Trust me, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t
feel the same way. But I like it here. It took time, but it’s starting to feel
like home.” He gazed across the park at the students sitting on the grass,
textbooks open but forgotten as they chatted with friends. The two young
women tossing a Frisbee back and forth. The guy leaning up against a
tree and smoking. “Maybe I’ll teach here,” Jace murmured, almost to
himself.
Funny, he thought, how sometimes you see a person who looks
familiar, and despite knowing that it couldn’t possibly be them, part of
you still entertains the idea. In Jace’s economics class was a girl who
reminded him so much of Michelle that it always made him homesick.
Or sometimes he would see the kind of guy who—despite being dead-set
against wars and the politics behind them—still bought clothes at an
Army surplus store. Like the guy under the tree smoking.
From beneath long dark bangs, the glimmer of eyes watched him.
For the first time, Jace wondered if he looked familiar too, his
appearance calling up the ghost of a person he’d never known and never
would.
“About that surprise,” Greg said.
Jace tore his attention away. “What?”
Greg smiled. “Look again.”
Jace did, this time his eyes wide with shock. The guy under the tree
was the right size, had the right build. And that jacket. Was it the jacket
from all those years ago? The guy’s hair was long, shoulder-length, and
along with the shade of the tree, conspired to hide any facial features.
But the way his hand stayed cupped over his mouth as the cigarette
burned orange, the casual manner in which he then flicked it away in a
fiery arc—
“I’m going to kill you,” Jace said.
“No, you won’t,” Greg said. “I’ll give you guys some space. Meet
me at the cafeteria when you’re ready.”
“Wait!” Jace grabbed Greg’s arm, but his best friend slipped out of
his grip, laughing as he walked away. Jace knew that laugh. There was
nothing malicious about it. Instead, it was the mad sort of chuckle
reserved for when Greg did something really nice for him, like the time
he tracked down an expensive out-of-print copy of Marlene Dietrich’s
biography for Jace’s birthday.
As he turned around, Jace wondered if that’s what this was supposed
to be—a present. In Greg’s mind, maybe plopping Victor down in the
middle of Jace’s new life seemed like doing him a favor, old friends
reunited. Except they’d never gotten the hang of being friends. Not
entirely.
From beneath the tree, Victor shook his hair from his eyes. Then he
smiled, gave a little nod, and started strolling toward Jace as casually as
if they always met there. But then, why should either of them make a big
deal out of this? They had met plenty of times since that last night
together. When home for a visit, Jace usually tracked Victor down, or
Greg would tip off Victor ahead of time and he’d show up at the front
door. Sometimes they didn’t meet at all, such as the recent Christmas
holiday. When had the last time been?
His thoughts scattered as Victor drew near. The mismatched eyes
had him pinned in place, Jace staring at the silky dark hair framing a face
that was both older and unmistakably familiar. Victor’s stubble grew in
thicker now, which only made him seem more masculine and untamed, a
stark contrast to Adrien’s pristine skin. Cigarette smoke instead of a waft
of designer cologne, a worn T-shirt with a frayed collar instead of a
pressed dress shirt, a five o’clock shadow instead of powder and base.
They couldn’t be more different, Victor and Adrien, which was no
accident.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Victor said, lips resisting a
smirk. “Or a monster that used to hide under your bed at night.”
“In the morning,” Jace corrected, smiling at the memory. “As if my
parents did room inspections or something. You could have just slept in.”
“Better safe than sorry, I guess.”
They eyed each other in the way old lovers did, their eyes still
having permissions that their bodies were denied. Jace took a deep breath
and shook his head. “What are you doing here?”
Now the smirk came out in full force. “Isn’t that obvious?”
No. Not in the slightest, but part of him still wanted to please Victor,
to pretend he could keep up with whatever his strange worldview was at
the moment, so he didn’t ask. Instead he committed an even bigger
transgression and attempted small talk.
“How was your trip down? Long drive, isn’t it?”
They were the sort of words they never shared before, which is
probably why Victor didn’t respond to them.
“This place suits you,” he said, still sizing Jace up. “There’s an
energy here. A buzz. You always had that about you, even in
Warrensburg, like you had it all figured out but were in the wrong place
and time. Or maybe the wrong story. Now you fit in.”
“It’s not about fitting in,” Jace said. “I’m not here to conform.”
Victor shook his head. “That’s not what I’m trying to say. It’s like
you were out of synch before. The world wasn’t keeping up with you.
Now it’s finally at the right speed.”
“Thanks,” he said lamely. The handful of sentences just traded were
already more meaningful than any conversation he’d shared with Adrien,
which made Jace suspicious that his best friend was doing him more than
a favor. If that was the case, Greg hadn’t thought this through. There was
a reason it hadn’t worked before. There was a reason it couldn’t now.
Unless… “Move down here,” he tried. “You’ll love it.”
Victor looked away, his expression neutral. “No.”
Jace nearly sighed in relief. Instead he placed an arm around Victor’s
shoulder, gave a platonic squeeze, and led the way through the park.
“I’m glad you finally decided to visit.”
“Greg can be very insistent,” Victor said. “I didn’t really have a
choice. But I’m glad. It’s been a while.”
“Half a year,” he guessed.
“Over a year,” Victor stated with certainty. “Nearly two.”
“Really? No!” Jace struggled to remember the last time. How could
he have gone an entire summer without seeing Victor? Then again, Jace
had stayed in Texas for most of it to work full-time. The Christmas
before was a blur of wrapping paper and too much food.
“Time flies when you have a life,” Victor said with a chuckle. “Or so
I would imagine.”
“I don’t feel like I have one,” Jace said. “School and work take up
most of my time. What little remains goes to…” He trailed off,
wondering if it would be cruel to mention Adrien.
“Greg told me about your boyfriend,” Victor said without menace.
“Adrien, right? You don’t have to hold back. In case you’ve forgotten,
I’m not the jealous type.”
“Of course, how silly of me,” Jace said, hiding a smile. “Did Greg
also tell you how hung Adrien is?”
“Uh…”
Jace held his hands apart, like he was describing a fish. “This big,”
he lied. “At least.”
Victor’s eyes widened. “Wow. What is that, twelve inches?”
“Fourteen. And he’s a trained survivalist. Adrien can walk through
the snow barefoot, living off roots he digs up with his bare hands. He’s
so in-tune with the wilderness that a pack of wild pigs once invited him
to stay the night.”
“They never invite me,” Victor complained. “Okay, so maybe I’m a
little envious… but still not jealous.”
“Is it wrong that I wish you were?” Jace said, tone growing more
serious.
Victor shrugged. “You’re asking the wrong guy.” They walked in
silence for a moment, leaving the park behind and getting caught up in
the rush of students on campus. “So what’s Adrien really like?”
“Organized,” Jace said immediately. It was an odd word to describe
a romantic partner, but it fit. “You could meet him.” The thought alone
made his stomach churn with nerves. “If you want. I mean, I don’t know
what the plan is.”
“It’s probably better that you don’t,” Victor said, as they entered the
cafeteria.
Before Jace could ask what this meant, Greg was waving them over
to where he waited in line. “We don’t have this problem at CMSU,” he
complained. “I’ll starve before I even order.”
Greg’s presence helped Jace relax again. Not that he wasn’t
comfortable being alone with Victor. He just felt like every conversation
danced around what he really wanted to say: I know why it didn’t work,
but why couldn’t it have worked? There was no logic to this statement,
but rather a desperate need to shout it over and over again, just to rob it
of power. He wouldn’t though. They never discussed it during previous
reunions, and Jace knew the compulsion would fade when he and Victor
parted again.
Instead, conversation turned to the past. Greg dredged up his favorite
embarrassing stories about Jace, or told him about camping out with
Victor over the summer. That took Jace aback. He vaguely remembered
Greg mentioning it during a phone call and purposefully not asking
questions. Now he felt desperate for details, even though Greg was more
interested in talking about changes to the shelter he’d made, or natural
