talking quietly on the couch, the television still turned off.
“Maybe we should talk,” Greg said.
“Or maybe we should go out for some drinks,” Jace said, smiling at
them. “Come on. Let’s set this town on fire!”
“Sports bar!” Greg said, punching the air.
Michelle rolled her eyes. “I want to actually talk to my brother, not
shout over some stupid game. Besides, you promised me a real meal.”
Jace raised an eyebrow. “He did?”
“I owe her money,” Greg said. “Real food and drinks it is. On me.
Come on, I’ll even drive.”
Greg took them to a Chinese restaurant, but Jace barely noticed.
He’d begun ranting about Victor in the car, and continued to complain
after they were seated in a booth backed by ornate wooden carvings. His
sister ordered for him when he realized he hadn’t looked at the menu,
and his food was cold by the time he finally wound down.
“He has to do something with his life, right?” Jace said. “I mean, he
can’t just keep rotting away in that house until they throw him out on the
street.”
“First of all,” Michelle said, pointing at his plate, “eat. Second,
maybe that’s what it will take for Victor to finally grow up. I know
you’ve always loved that he’s a complete weirdo, but he’ll have to face
reality eventually. Sometimes you have to let a person hit bottom so they
can bounce back.”
“But—” Jace said with a mouth full of Peking duck.
“But nothing,” Michelle said. “I know what he’s going through with
his mother is hard, but he’s not the only one this has happened to. Other
people don’t let themselves fall apart. The problem started way before
she got sick. Victor has always struggled. He used his mother as a crutch,
and he used you as one too. Now he finally needs to learn to walk on his
own.”
“We’ve all tried to help him,” Greg said. “Michelle is right. If we
coddle him any more, he’ll never change. Bernard’s the only one that’s
doing it right by offering him a job. Victor will choose to work rather
than starve. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that,” Michelle countered. “People end up on the
street for all sorts of reasons. Maybe it’s alcoholism or mental illness, or
maybe some people just can’t cope with life’s demands. Victor might be
one of those people.”
Greg looked concerned. “You think he’ll end up on the street?”
“He might,” Michelle said with all the authority of her would-be
degree.
Jace let the horror show on his face. “You guys aren’t making me
feel better.”
“Sorry, big brother, but you’ve got to face the facts. Victor’s life is
his own responsibility. You can’t save him without giving up your own,
and he won’t thank you for it. As selfish as he can be, he’s always
wanted the best for you.”
Greg nodded. “She speaks the truth. I can’t tell you how often I’ve
heard him say he’s proud of you for doing your own thing. After all,
that’s what Victor is all about. He respects the decisions you’ve made.”
“So what do I do?” Jace said. “Turn my back completely and let him
crash?”
“He’ll crash anyway,” Michelle said. “There’s only so much you can
do. Like you said, you can’t pay his rent and bills. You can’t make him
be more responsible. But you’re still my wonderful big brother, so I
know you’ll try to save him anyway. I just don’t want you to be totally
shocked when you realize that you can’t. None of us can.”
“I think I need that drink now.”
They agreed to move to a bar. When the waitress brought their bill,
three fortune cookies rested on the plastic tray. Without having to ask, all
three were shoved in Jace’s direction. He felt a surge of affection for
them both.
“You don’t have to give them to me.”
“Everyone knows what a whore you are for them,” Michelle said
with a grin. “Just don’t forget to give us our fortunes.”
Jace felt a little embarrassed, sitting there and eating all three cookies
while they watched, but damn if he didn’t love how they tasted! Why
were people always going on about chocolate chip cookies or whatever
when they could be eating something so wonderfully crisp? Mixing up
the three fortunes, he passed them out randomly.
Michelle read hers first. “‘Ignorance is the greatest cause of
arrogance, and knowledge the best cure for both.’” She thought about
this for a moment. “Well fuck you, fortune cookie!”
Greg laughed and then read his. “‘One doesn’t need to travel to find
love, not if one is already home.’”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jace asked.
Greg’s cheeks looked a little flushed. “I guess I’m staying in
Warrensburg. What else could it mean?”
Jace eyed him, shook his head, and turned his attention to his own
fortune. “‘Never loose your sense of humor.’”
“Loose?” Michelle asked.
Jace double checked. “Loose.”
“Think that’s intentional?” Greg asked.
Regardless, they all started laughing.
* * * * *
Jace woke the next day feeling invigorated. And a little hungover.
After a nice greasy breakfast of hash browns and eggs, he showered and
stocked up on cat food from his mother’s pantry. Maybe Victor needed
to finally survive on his own, but that didn’t mean Samson should starve.
Then he said goodbye, because after spending the day with Victor, he
would drive back to Houston again.
He felt apprehensive when knocking on the door, but less so when
Victor answered cleanly shaven and freshly washed. There was still
tension between them, but they both knew the cure for this. Jace
willingly went downstairs to Victor’s bedroom, where they spent an hour
in bliss. Nearly. Despite how distracted his body was, Jace’s mind
remained filled with concern. Even when they lay cuddling together,
enjoying the fading euphoria, his thoughts would not be silent.
“How are you going to pay the rent?” he asked softly. “I don’t want
you living on the street.”
“Let me worry about that,” Victor said patiently.
“Okay.” Jace sat up, his back against the headboard. “It’s just that I
don’t think you’re going to pay it. If you are, just tell me so I can stop
worrying about it.”
Victor rolled over to face him, considering him before he too sat
upright. He reached for the cigarettes on the side table. “I’ll be fine,” he
repeated.
Michelle’s advice sprang to mind. Jace knew she was right. He
couldn’t keep doing this. But— “I was thinking. My old bedroom at my
parents’ house isn’t really used for anything, and it’s close to the woods
you like, so maybe I can talk to them. That way you’d have a place in
winter and—”
“That’s enough,” Victor said. He got up to open the basement
window before returning to bed. He looked so damn skinny. The way he
pulled the blankets up to his armpits made Jace think of how exposed he
would be to the elements.
“Or maybe you could sell what’s in the house.” Jace said. “Get a
cheap RV or something to park on their property.”
“I said that’s enough,” Victor repeated.
But it wasn’t. That was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to
Jace’s worries. “Or Star. She’d love to have you live with her. I know
she would.”
Victor snorted. “I haven’t seen Star for years.”
“What?”
Victor flicked his ash into a coffee cup next to the bed. “She finally
found someone rich enough to replace her father. Ran off with him pretty
quick. I got a wedding invitation in the mail from Pasadena or
somewhere like that. She knew I wouldn’t come.”
Or she thought it was worth one last chance, just in case Victor
wanted to storm the wedding with dramatic timing. If so, she was
kidding herself. And yet, Jace wished she was still around, one more
person looking out for Victor, no matter how bad it hurt. The news that
she was gone only increased his panic.
“What about Houston? My place is small, but—”
“Come on, Jace. Not again. Please.”
“Then what are you doing here? Before it was your mother, but you
don’t visit her anymore.”
“I didn’t say that,” Victor said. “I said there was no point. She
doesn’t remember me. At all. I’m a complete stranger. I’m not even
Richard anymore. When I do visit, I can’t go to her room because she
doesn’t understand why I’m there. When I talk to her in the living area,
she seems puzzled, like I’m a salesman who can’t bring himself to
mention what he’s selling. But I’m not leaving, because maybe that will
change.”
“I don’t think it will,” Jace said gently. “If it does, they can call us in
Houston and we’ll drive right back up here.”
Victor stubbed out his cigarette and considered Jace’s pleading eyes.
Then he shook his head. “That won’t make me who you need. I still
won’t feel the way you do about relationships, and you’ll keep hanging
on, hoping I will. Then when you do find the right guy, I’ll be a burden.”
“I don’t care,” Jace said, throat aching.
“Yeah, you do. That’s the problem.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Jace pressed. “How long are you
going to play this game? Until it kills you?”
Victor smirked. “Life is fatal. It does us all in eventually.”
“I’m serious! Eventually you’ll have to get a job. Or hell, start
working the one you already have. It’s not a big deal. Everyone else does
it! Why can’t you grow the fuck up and take care of yourself?” Jace was
yelling now, and no matter how much Victor’s face told him it wouldn’t
matter, he couldn’t help it. “I’m so sick and tired of worrying about you!
I never stopped. Not one fucking day has gone by since I left for college
that I didn’t wonder if you’re okay, and you’re not making it any easier
now. It hurts me. Do you get that? When I come back here and see you
withering away, it kills me inside.”
“I get that,” Victor said. “How do you think I feel every time I see
my mother?”
Jace wouldn’t let this dissuade him. “But you have a choice! She
doesn’t. You can be a real human being for once. You used to say that all
that out there was the dream. Well, if sitting around a dark house choking
on cigarettes is reality, I don’t want to wake up.”
“I never said you have to.”
“I can’t!” Jace yelled. “Not while you’re still here. I can’t move on
until I know you’re okay.”
Victor looked away, toward the window. Jace watched him, chest
heaving, waiting for a response. He sat there for what felt like an
eternity. “Answer me,” Jace said. “Say anything. Tell me you’ll come
live with me, or tell me to fuck off, but don’t just sit there doing nothing.
You have to do something!”
But Victor still wouldn’t look at him, even when Jace tossed a pillow
at him. He felt like lashing out, punching him just to get his attention,
and that’s when he knew he had to go. When anger outpaces love, it’s
time to leave. Jace only wished he wouldn’t have gotten sucked back into
this trap. Hell, even Adrien was better than this.
After getting dressed and gathering his things, he opened the
bedroom door. He stopped there and turned around, hoping that Victor
was watching him. He wasn’t. His head was still turned. Maybe this was
his way of cutting Jace loose. If so, it only pissed him off more. Jace
eyed the increasingly faded tattoo on Victor’s arm. The fox was still
running along the black line, but only now did Jace realize that it was a
circle. Just like them, the fox was running in circles.
Turning his back, he went upstairs. After saying goodbye to Samson,
he left the house, knowing this time that he would never set foot in it
again.
Chapter Twenty
“We’re flying you home.”
Jace switched the phone to his right ear, as if that would help him
hear better. “What?”
“We’re flying you home,” Michelle repeated. “Today.”
Jace laughed. “That’s short notice!”
“You weren’t answering your phone last night.”
Because he’d been out dancing, part of his “get over Victor” plan. So
far, over the last two weeks, it hadn’t helped much, although he did score
a phone number last night. The guy wasn’t his type, but Jace’s ego had
moved up a notch.
“Your flight leaves at 10:43 a.m. from George Bush International.”
“Wait,” Jace said, backpedaling. “What’s going on? We talked about
me flying up for your graduation later this year.”
“I guess Mom and Dad can’t wait because they want to see you now.
Whenever you drive here, it takes up all your time. Listen, we can
squabble about this in person. You have less than two hours to catch your
flight.”
Jace swung into action. He drank his coffee in the shower and had
his breakfast while packing. By the time he arrived at the airport, he
didn’t have any waiting to do. The plane was already boarding at the
gate, so in a very short period of time, he found himself landing in
Kansas City International Airport. He had to admit, a couple of hours
among the clouds was a lot better than half a day on the road.
He was at the baggage claim when someone tackled him with a hug.
“Hey!” Jace said, laughing and untangling himself from his sister.
“Where are Mom and Dad?”
“Waiting at home,” Michelle said. “I wanted time alone with you.
How was the flight? Any hot flight attendants?”
“Fine, and no.”
They made small talk until his luggage came around. Once back in
the car, Michelle chatted nonstop. She talked about school, classmates
he’d never heard of, and friends he’d never met. They were halfway
home and still she talked. A new road in Warrensburg. A coffee shop
that had come and gone. The neighbor’s son across the street who had
been throwing loud parties. She was talking so much that Jace didn’t
know how she could breathe. That’s when he knew something was
wrong.
“Michelle!” he snapped.
“What?”
“Why am I here? Why the rushed flight? I was just here a few weeks
ago!”
Michelle kept her eyes on the road.
Jace’s stomach sank. “You called me, not Mom. And Dad loves the
airport. There’s no way he wouldn’t come, so what is it? Is one of them
in the hospital? Did one of them—”
“No!” Michelle exhaled. “No. I promise you, they’re fine. And yes,
there are things all of us need to talk about, but let’s just get home.”
Jace shook his head. “I don’t like this.”
