service was called. Snacking on ice cream, they watched soap operas that
neither of them could understand well, although Jace felt free to make up
things as he translated.
During one of these nights, Jace realized that no matter what he and
Ben did together, it felt good. Having passionate sex, vegging out in
front of the boob tube, or soaking their feet in the hotel hot tub—even the
most mundane activity was fun when he was with Ben.
For their final day, they visited the Torre Argentina—more ruins, but
these were special. Not only had Julius Caesar met his famous end at this
location, but now it was also a shelter for homeless cats who, in contrast
to Caesar, didn’t have to worry about being murdered. Visiting this
location was a selfish wish for Jace. He had a surprise for Ben planned
afterwards. Until then, they toured the ruins, but Jace couldn’t help
focusing on the cats. No doubt about it, crazy cat lady syndrome was
genetic and impartial to gender, because Jace had it bad. Not only did
being here make him miss Samson, but he felt tempted to take half the
cats home with him.
He was squatting to pet a mangy orange one when it jumped on his
legs. Laughing, Jace sat down. Two more cats rushed him, apparently
desperate for cushioning. The first cat hopped onto his shoulders as the
newcomers claimed his lap. Jace was in seventh heaven, so what
happened next really broadsided him.
“I love you.”
The voice sounded like Ben’s. Over the chattering tour group, it was
hard to be sure. Regardless, Jace kept his attention on the cats, a
thousand thoughts filling his mind. Three months. That’s how long
they’d been together. Wasn’t it too soon? He’d never told Victor, even
though he had felt it. How could Jace say it to anyone if he’d never told
Victor? Did he even feel it? Making Ben happy made him happy. Jace
wanted to provide for him, protect him, do anything possible for him, no
matter how big the sacrifice. If that wasn’t love, what was? But Victor…
“I love you!”
No doubt about it now. Jace looked up to see Ben at the edge of the
tour group. Already a number of heads were turning to see what the
commotion was, but Ben was smiling like it was the best news ever. And
wasn’t it?
But Victor…
For a moment, Jace saw him in his mind, perfectly clear as if it were
yesterday. Victor was smirking, like he often did, while shaking his head,
and Jace swore he could hear his voice. Did I ever hesitate to tell you
how I felt? Did I ever ask you not to love someone else? If you want to
make me proud…
Victor’s ghost disappeared, leaving only Ben. Heart thudding in his
chest, Jace stood, the cats abandoning ship by springing away. He rushed
to Ben, picked him up in his arms, and swung him around, grinning all
the while.
“About time you admitted it,” he said coolly. Then he kissed Ben,
breathing in the scent of his skin. That’s what this feeling was. He had no
doubt. Setting Ben down, Jace brushed his nose against his ear and
whispered the words that had so often come unbidden, but were finally
set free to fly.
“I love you too.”
* * * * *
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Ben said.
“I’ve already seen yours,” Jace replied.
“That didn’t count.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” Jace said. “Getting them together
like that, I mean. The results might be… explosive.”
Ben made a lewd face. “Think they’d rub together the wrong way?”
“If we’re not careful. Besides, mine’s bigger than yours.”
“Hm,” Ben said thoughtfully. “You know, all the innuendo is getting
a little bit creepy.”
“Yes,” Jace agreed. “It is. Especially since we’re talking about our
families.”
Ben looked surprised. “Really? I thought we were talking about—”
Then he grinned. “Seriously though, what do you think? One big family
party. Get it all over with.”
There were pros and cons to the idea. Jace was dying to meet Ben’s
family. He’d seen a couple of photos, which didn’t reveal much. Now
that Ben was on summer break and basically living with him back in
Houston, they had plenty of opportunity. And time. This allowed for
wonderfully mundane experiences, like now, as they folded shirts and
paired socks together at the laundromat. Secretly, Jace cherished
domestic moments like these. That Ben was the one to suggest their
families meet made him happy too.
“It could be overwhelming,” Jace said. “Greg’s so excited about
meeting you that he giggled when I mentioned the idea.”
Ben looked confused. “That buff guy in the photo you showed me?”
“Yup.”
“He giggled?”
“Yes, and it was just as disturbing as you imagine.”
Ben shrugged. “Still, that won’t be nearly as bad as my sister. I’ve
told you that she’s going through a divorce, right?”
“So you’re saying the timing is bad?”
“No.” A pair of jeans flip-flopped in Ben’s hands until they were a
tidy square. “I’m saying she’ll be even more venomous than usual. Of
course, flaunting my hot boyfriend while she’s got nothing will be
satisfying.”
“She’s your sister,” Jace said pointedly.
“That’s right.”
“Isn’t that kind of harsh?”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I get it. You’re one of those people
who’s all lovely-dovey with their sibling. Just you wait. You’ll stop
judging me once you’ve met Karen.”
Jace turned his attention to folding underwear. “So we’re doing
this?”
“Yes. The only question is how? An awkward dinner? An outing to a
park where blood can be spilled freely?”
Jace shook his head. “I know the ideal place.”
* * * * *
The great thing about bowling was that it allowed a constant rotation.
In a way bowling was like speed dating. Jace would be talking with
Ben’s mother, a small blonde woman who smiled while she talked. Then
she would be called away to take her turn. Then there was Mr. Bentley,
who was so easy-going and relaxed that Jace wondered how many of
Ben’s boyfriends he’d met already. Or maybe he took everything in
stride. Their conversation about plasma televisions was cut short when
Jace was called to the front.
After sending his first ball hurtling down the lane, he turned to find
Greg sitting next to Ben. Chatting happily, Greg had an arm wrapped
around Ben’s shoulder. To his credit, Jace’s boyfriend looked a little
overwhelmed rather than giddy, like Adrien used to. Farther away, Mrs.
Bentley was holding Sylvester, the latest family member and Jace’s
second nephew, while chatting with Michelle about topics only mothers
understood. Next to them, Emma held Preston to her like a doll,
unamused as Mr. Bentley tried the “I’ve got your nose!” trick.
Jace could get used to this. Family was so wonderf—
“No one else can play if you’re going to stand there drooling.”
Ah, yes. Karen. Ben’s sister who had all the charm of a farting
orangutan. Jace winked at her as if she were adorable, even though she
reminded him of a Neanderthal wearing sweatpants, and took his ball to
finish his turn. Karen was next in line, a small blessing that meant not
being around her for a few minutes.
Jace went and sat next to Ben, giving Greg a look. “He’s my date,
you know.”
This only made Greg pull Ben closer. “But he’s so cute! Can’t I
borrow him?”
“You wouldn’t be interested,” Jace said. “He can’t make you any
more babies.”
“That never stopped us from trying,” Ben said with an amorous look
in Jace’s direction.
“Oh, I like this one!” Greg said, squeezing Ben affectionately.
“Me too,” Jace said, gently removing Greg’s arm from his boyfriend.
“Which is why it would be nice if you didn’t strangle him to death.”
“Sorry,” Greg said. When Karen sat next to him—which she kept
doing—Greg quickly got to his feet. “I’ll grab another pitcher of beer. Be
right back!”
Karen watched him go, then turned to her brother and rolled her
eyes. “It’s your turn.”
“Okay.” Ben stood but hovered, hesitant to leave them.
“Go on,” Jace said.
He watched Ben rush to pick up a ball and toss it carelessly down the
lane, just to get his turn over with. Jace was smiling when Karen came up
with another gem.
“When I heard you were a flight attendant, I thought you’d be
more…” She held her arm out, the wrist limp.
“You thought my wrist would be broken?” Jace asked, continuing
before she could respond. “I don’t really have to do much heavy lifting.
Aside from the passengers who bring aboard a full-sized suitcase stuffed
with everything they own. Naturally they block the aisle while trying to
shove it into the overhead bin. When it won’t fit, they turn to me, like I
can magically compress matter or something.”
Karen seemed confused, looking between him and Ben, who had
already returned. “I mean you don’t act like a girl,” she clarified. “You
don’t have a lisp.”
“Funny you should mention that,” Jace said. “I noticed you don’t
have a lisp either. Does that mean you’re not a girl?”
Karen’s brow lowered as she turned to Ben for an explanation. “Is
there something wrong with him?”
“No,” Ben said, suppressing a smile. “He’s perfect.”
Later, standing in the parking lot, they waved goodbye to their
families as they drove away. Jace felt a swelling in his chest. “I want
more of that,” he said.
Ben glanced over at him in surprise. “More awkward family gettogethers?”
“Yes,” Jace said. “And it wasn’t awkward. It was fun. Aside from
your sister, who I’m pretty sure is an ape your parents have been shaving
for years.”
Ben laughed. “I liked yours. Michelle is really sweet.”
“Yeah, she’s a good kid. I’m glad she moved down here.” Being in
Houston was beneficial to them, Jace considered as they got into his car.
Greg was already established and doing well. He’d provide Michelle and
the kids with a good life. Keys dangling unturned in the ignition, he
looked over at Ben. “I want a big family. Do you ever think of things like
that?”
Ben blinked. “Uh, not really. It’s a little early for me. I’m still in
college.”
“Of course,” Jace said, feeling silly. He started the car and pulled out
of the parking lot. “Some day when you’re an old man, like me. Do you
think you’ll want kids then?”
“Emma was cute,” Ben said. “Can we have her?”
“Don’t joke,” Jace said. “If Michelle gets pregnant again, we might
find a basket on the doorstep. Seriously though.”
“Maybe,” Ben said. “If I’m with the right guy, I could see it working.
Right now, I still feel like a kid myself.”
“That won’t change. I don’t feel my age. A friend of mine, Bernard,
he’s pretty old and says he doesn’t feel grown-up either. How did he put
it? ‘Some people think ignoring their inner child makes them seem
grown-up. When I see someone ignoring a crying child, I think they’re
an asshole.’”
Ben laughed. “When do I get to meet him?”
“Eventually,” Jace said. “He’s family now too. Not by blood, or even
by marriage, but family is more than that. You find people you love and
keep them close to you. That’s what a family is.” He looked over and
caught Ben’s eye, seeing understanding there.
When they were back at the apartment, Ben opened the refrigerator
and started making them a snack. All summer they had lived together.
When Jace returned from work, his home was always full of life, not
quiet and empty. Ben picked up around the house, even did the laundry,
despite Jace never asking him to.
Samson was also happier. He used to be clingy when Jace returned
from traveling, desperate for companionship and love. Not any more.
Jace had arrived home late one night to find Ben asleep on the couch,
Samson draped across his chest. When Samson stirred and saw him
standing there, he simply blinked his eyes and went back to sleep.
The summer had been wonderful. Jace could imagine it always being
like this. Ben even worked part-time waiting tables, excited when he got
that first paycheck and was able to take Jace out for a night on the town.
The last few months had felt like paradise.
Now that time was drawing to a close. Ben would be back in Austin
next week, Jace coming to see him when he could, which might be as
little as four nights a month. If they were lucky. In a way, it was foolish
to dream of having a family when he could barely make time for his
relationship.
Ben set a plate in front of him, sandwich cut into eight little triangles
like bite-sized appetizers. “Hungry?” he said.
Jace nodded, not thinking of the food. He definitely had an appetite,
and a handful of days together every month wouldn’t satiate it. A long
time ago, he had moved away from the person he loved because it was
the only way Jace felt like he could survive. Now, maybe it was time to
do the opposite.
Chapter Twenty-six
“I don’t know what I did wrong. Actually, I’m pretty damn sure I
didn’t do anything wrong, so screw you!” Ben’s voice sounded huge and
angry, even over the tiny cell phone speaker. “If you don’t have the guts
to face me, that’s fine. I thought you were different. I didn’t think you
were a coward like the rest. At least have the decency to call me if you’re
going to—” Ben’s voice withered to a squeak. “Are we breaking up? I
need to know, because I don’t see why else you wouldn’t even call. I
didn’t complain when you canceled. I’ve tried to be understanding, even
though I miss you like crazy. What did I do? I thought you— You know
how I feel, right? I love you, so why are you avoiding me?”
Then came the sound of fumbling, followed by a muttered “Fuck,
how do I delete this?” before the message beeped to an end.
Jace tossed the phone into the passenger seat and sighed. He’d
screwed up. Big time. Sadly, all this had come from him trying to be
romantic. Had Ben just waited another day or two... Or had Jace not been
unexpectedly called into work. Still, maybe it wasn’t too late. After all,
he had an ace to play. Jace got out of the car and went back into the gas
station.
“Forget something?” the clerk asked.
“Yes,” Jace said, reaching for the single roses sold next to the cash
