up?”
“Early enough to go shopping,” Jace said, taking a seat. He took a
swig of coffee, but his throat still felt dry as he realized he had no special
words prepared.
“A croissant!” Ben said, hopping into the chair across from him.
“You’re my hero!”
Jace smiled, watching as Ben poured himself some orange juice,
unaware that their entire future was about to be decided. Ben even
glanced out at the quiet streets, an old woman sweeping in front of her
door as a cat ran diagonally across the road.
“Didn’t you say you were hungry?” Jace prompted.
“Yeah,” Ben said, returning his attention to the food. “It’s just so
pretty here.”
“Wait!” Jace said when Ben picked up the croissant, one end already
pointing toward his mouth. “In France, you’re supposed to tear it in
half.”
He had no idea if that was true, but luckily Ben always trusted him
on such things. Jace had more experience traveling and… Oh god, none
of that mattered now! As Ben tore the croissant in half, something small
and hard fell out of it. Jace worried it would bounce off the table, fly
over the balcony rail, and be swept up by the old woman. Instead, the
ring clattered noisily to the plate.
Ben stared in surprise. Then he looked up, a question on his lips that
Jace could read. Is that what I think it is?
The words came to Jace then. There wasn’t enough room to kneel, so
he reached across to take the ring from the plate and held it up. “You’re
my heart, Ben. My soul. You complete me. I can’t imagine living my life
without you, and you’d make me the proudest man alive if you would
agree to be my husband.”
Ben’s cheeks flushed, his eyes darting down to the ring. Then he
started laughing. Jace looked at the ring in puzzlement, spotting a big
croissant flake stuck to it like a ridiculous diamond. Grinning, he plucked
the flake off and shoved it into Ben’s mouth, which only made him laugh
harder.
“Smell it,” Jace said, holding the ring up to Ben’s nose. “It’s the
most deliciously buttery ring in the history of the world. You can’t say
no!”
Ben laughed harder, eyes filling with tears. Down below, the sound
of sweeping stopped, but Jace’s eyes remained on Ben, who was calming
down. The table still separated them, which frustrated Jace, so he stood,
walked around it, and took Ben’s hand. Now he was able to kneel.
Ben looked down at him, eyes still wet with joy. “Yes!” he said,
bending over for a kiss.
“Not so fast,” Jace said, dodging this attempt.
He held up the ring until Ben offered his hand. Then Jace slid it on
Ben’s finger with surprising ease.
“It’s so greasy!” Ben said, getting worked up again.
“Just like our love,” Jace said. Then he stood, picked Ben up, and
tossed him on the bed.
“Hey! You haven’t married me yet!” Ben said. “Save it for the
honeymoon.”
“Not a chance,” Jace said, crawling on top of him and untying the
bathrobe.
“I haven’t taken a shower,” Ben protested, trying to hold it shut.
“You think after all these years I haven’t gotten used to your stink?”
Jace said, kissing his neck. “I love even that part of you.”
Ben laughed again and gave up, allowing Jace to pull back the robe
like ripping open a curtain on a magnificent view. Sometimes he
wondered if he would ever tire of Ben’s body, crave hard muscle instead
of soft skin, bulky curves instead of lean lines. What Jace discovered so
far is that the more he loved Ben, the more enamored he became with his
body. Jace had no doubt that when they were both old and covered in
loose wrinkled skin, he would still find Ben just as sexy.
Right now, everything about him still radiated the perfection of
youth, something Jace appreciated more since turning thirty last year. He
rocked back on his knees, just so he could stare at Ben’s naked body.
“Still want to marry me?” Ben said teasingly, but with a touch of
insecurity.
Jace shook his head. “You have no idea.”
Ben reached for him. “Then show me.”
Jace bent over him, kissing Ben’s lips, his chin, his neck. Then Jace
rubbed his hands up and down Ben’s body. The robe flowed around Ben
like he was a half-opened present. Jace kissed him, tasted him, made him
moan and gasp. Then, very gently, Jace rolled him over, removing the
robe completely before standing to undress himself.
Ben watched him over his shoulder with a wonderful mixture of
anticipation and nervousness.
“First time?” Jace asked.
“I was saving myself for the man I marry,” Ben replied, playing
along.
Naturally this wasn’t their first time doing this, but it remained as
special. Grabbing the travel-sized bottle of lube from the side table, Jace
brought it back to bed with him, lying alongside his boyfriend—no, his
fiancé!—and chuckling when Ben winced at the cold liquid poured
between his cheeks.
Jace played at first, kissing Ben’s back as his fingers explored, but
then he couldn’t wait. Lubing himself, he positioned his body above
Ben’s, sighing when he slid inside. He watched Ben’s back closely—
muscles tensing. Or his profile on the pillow as Ben bit his bottom lip, a
sharp breath escaping his mouth. Jace used these cues to guide Ben away
from pain and toward pleasure. Soon he didn’t need to be as cautious,
every motion of his hips causing moans of pleasure.
Needing them to be closer, Jace wrapped his arms around Ben’s
torso, rolling over to feel his whole weight pressing on him while he
continued to thrust. He let a hand wander down to take hold of Ben, their
breathing becoming heavy, shorter, rougher until they both groaned and
growled at the same moment.
Afterwards, Jace rolled them both over on their sides, holding Ben
close and remaining inside him. After a few minutes like this, Ben spoke.
“You’ve got me facing the balcony,” he said.
“Worried someone can see you?” Jace asked.
“No, but I’m staring at all that food. I still haven’t eaten a French
croissant!”
Jace laughed. After a quick trip to fetch a towel, he made sure Ben
was comfortable in bed, sitting up with the sheets hugging his hips. Then
he dragged the table over for a proper breakfast in bed. Soon Ben’s
mouth was happily stuffed full of flaky pastry.
“When should we do it?” Jace asked.
Ben looked concerned.
“I mean the wedding, silly. When should we have it?”
“Oh!” Ben took a sip of orange juice and thought about it, but he
didn’t need long. “Summer,” he said. “It has to be summer.”
* * * * *
“But it’s not legal… is it?”
Jace smiled at Ben’s aunt. He’d fielded this question countless times
since their engagement. Most people seemed embarrassed that they had
to ask, which he appreciated. He couldn’t blame them for their curiosity,
even today, just moments from the ceremony. They needed to know, and
Jace was happy to answer.
“No, it’s not legal in the State of Texas. That it is legal in a few
states still doesn’t mean marriage between two men or two women is
recognized on a federal level.”
A strong hand grasped his shoulder. “And it doesn’t matter,” Bernard
said. “No law can force two people to love each other, or keep them from
growing distant and getting divorced.”
Jace glanced over at him with an appreciative smile. Bernard wasn’t
getting any younger, but he still had fire in his eyes. A light summer
breeze blew through his wispy white hair, the world around him in the
peak of life. Trees were in full bloom, birds winging through the air at
full power, and the roses…
Ben had spent a fortune on them, used them to cover the pillars and
rails of the strange gazebo they had reserved. The little shelter had a
heavy Asian influence. Ben kept calling it a pagoda, and Jace supposed
that fit well enough, since its roof curved upwards at the tips. Now,
decorated in roses, it looked like something from another world.
“I think it should be legal,” the aunt said, making up for the question
she felt compelled to ask.
“As do I,” Jace said. “Obviously. For now, what matters is the
commitment we’re making to each other. A wedding is just a very showy
declaration of love. It’s hardly better than bragging,” he jested. “But
when it comes to Ben, I just can’t help myself.”
He cast his eyes over the mingling guests until he found Ben near the
parking lot, standing next to Allison. Ben looked sharp in a black tuxedo.
They’d laughed and joked about Jace wanting to wear white as if he were
the bride. As if either of them were, but the nice thing about going
against the grain is how liberating it could be. There was no common
concept of how a gay wedding worked. They could have worn grass
skirts and waded into the lake together, if that’s how they felt their
wedding should go.
As it was, they weren’t too far from tradition. No church, which was
why they stood in a park. And no clergy, either, since they had both
agreed they didn’t need someone telling them what to say. As for God’s
blessing, they figured they either had it or they didn’t. That they had
made it this far was a hopeful sign.
Ben met his eye. As good as he looked on the outside, Jace could tell
his insides were anything but calm. The empty-handed guests were
probably Ben’s biggest concern. No appetizers or flutes of champagne,
thanks to the caterers being late. Ben loitering by the parking lot wasn’t
going to make them arrive any quicker, either. Jace shook his head, as if
to say What have we gotten ourselves into? Then he turned his attention
back to the relatives surrounding him.
With the exception of Bernard, they were all Ben’s family, but they
were nice enough. Half of them seemed to be spinsters or widows, from
the way they were sizing up Bernard. It didn’t help that his fingers were
too gnarled to wear a wedding ring. They’d be disappointed when they
saw him dancing with his wife later.
“So any poor woman born under this certain star or whatever,”
Bernard was saying, “is said to be cursed. Whatever man she marries will
die an early death. So what they do is marry the woman to a tree. Then
they destroy the tree, both fulfilling and breaking the curse.”
“Where’s this?” Jace asked.
“India,” Bernard answered.
“Funny, because we have the same tradition in Texas. I made Ben
marry one of the bushes outside our apartment last week. They really hit
it off too. He cried and cried after I hacked it to pieces.”
The titters of laughter that followed were drowned out by blaring
music. Once the volume was adjusted to a more civilized level, Jace
recognized the song. He and Ben had chosen it as the one that would
accompany their walk to the altar—or weird Asian gazebo thing. Except
it wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Jace turned to the DJ, who gave him a
thumbs up.
Jace shrugged. Who was he to argue with fate?
“Excuse me,” he said. “I’m supposed to get married now. Uh,
Bernard, can you make sure everyone gets seated?”
“I’ll do my best.”
Jace strolled over to Ben, who was clearly mortified.
“He’s playing it too soon!”
“It’s okay,” Jace said.
Ben pointed at his watch. “Half an hour too soon!”
“Ben,” Jace said firmly. “Everyone is here already. I’ve spent the
whole day setting up chairs and talking to strange people, most of whom
I’ve never met before, when all I really wanted was to be with you. That
we can be together now, ahead of schedule, makes me happy.”
Ben’s posture relaxed as he laughed at himself. “Okay, okay. Sorry.”
Jace offered his hand. “Are you ready to marry me?”
Ben’s nervousness returned with a vengeance. His palm was sweaty
when Jace took it, his legs stiff as Jace walked him to the seats and up
the division in the middle that acted as an aisle.
“Remember to breathe,” Jace murmured when he thought Ben
looked unstable.
“You might have to carry me,” Ben joked. “Or drag me up there.
Whatever you’ve got to do.”
“You’re fine,” Jace said, smiling.
When they reached the gazebo and climbed the three steps, Jace
suddenly understood why a couple would want someone presiding over
their ceremony. With all the nervousness and overwhelming feelings that
come with weddings, it would be so easy to simply freeze. But Jace felt
calmer than ever before. He wasn’t nervous because this is what he’d
always wanted. This was a dream come true. He took Ben’s hands in his,
and when the song ended, he spoke.
“I love you. I know most wedding vows probably end with those
words, but that’s the most important thing for you to know. We’re
standing here today because I love you, Ben Bentley, with all my heart
and soul. Giving myself to you is something I did a long time ago, so if
anything, us being here is a mere formality. And to make sure all these
beautiful people here know how serious I am.”
The guests laughed.
“Since we’re here anyway, I have a promise I’ve been meaning to
make: I will always be there for you. Even if I’m halfway around the
world because of my job, I’ll be with you in spirit. Think of me when
you’re lost or scared, and know that no matter what happens, everything
will be okay when we’re together again. That’s how it will always be.
Forever. I want to grow old with you. I want us to look at each other one
day and laugh at how shriveled we’ve become. I know we’ll still be
laughing, because no matter what life throws at us in the future, we’ll
face it together. And we’ll win. Love is the greatest force in the universe.
Especially when that love comes from you.”
Ben stared at him with eyes full of wonder. Then he grabbed at the
rings, shoved one into Jace’s hand, and kissed him. After a moment of
confused surprise, the audience burst into applause, Jace laughing
through the whole kiss.
The next song started, which was just as well because Jace didn’t
think Ben would be up for making any speeches, not from the way he
was trembling. But it was good. He knew Ben well enough to know
when he was upset, sad, or afraid. Ben wasn’t any of these things. Right
now he was overwhelmed, Jace feeling very much the same.
