Jace took Ben into his arms, gently swaying to the music. Halfway
through the song, Ben pulled back a little, tears of joy in his eyes.
“So we’re married?” he asked
Jace smiled. “Yup.”
“Simple as that?”
“Simple as that.” Jace chuckled. “Just a promise and nothing more.
Hard to believe that anyone makes a big deal out of it.”
“It is a big deal!” Ben protested.
“In that case, we should probably put the rings on. It might not be
official until we do.”
Ben’s eyes went wide, as if they were on a time limit. He opened his
clenched fist to reveal a ring pressed into his palm. “I was a little
nervous,” he explained.
“I noticed,” Jace said. “I would have thought performing on stage
would prepare you for something like this.”
Ben shook his head. “Nothing could prepare me for this. I just felt…
everything!”
Jace smiled and took the ring from his palm, replacing it with his
own. “You first,” he said, holding the ring by the edges. Ben presented
his hand, cheeks flushed as Jace slid it on. “I was tempted to rub a little
croissant grease on it,” he said.
“Knowing me I probably would have swallowed it,” Ben replied.
“Now you.”
Grinning broadly, Ben slid the ring on Jace’s finger. Then they
kissed, and the few who were still paying attention applauded—along
with a catcall that sounded suspiciously like Greg. They resumed
dancing, not ready to end their private moment. The caterers had arrived,
so the guests had food and champagne to keep them occupied. All Jace
wanted was Ben. He finally understood those weddings on TV where the
bride and groom rushed from the church and into a limo. He’d like
nothing more than to run away with Ben right now.
Still, there would be time. Days, weeks, years and decades. All for
them. With that in mind, Jace took Ben’s hand. Together they walked
down the steps onto green grass, Jace proudly introducing everyone to
his new husband.
Chapter Thirty-one
“The master bathroom has a Jacuzzi,” Greg said, sounding very
professional as he led the tour. “Double sinks, as you can see, which
makes getting ready in the morning much less stressful, as does the
separate shower. Walk-in closet. I love the window above the bathtub.
Great view of the backyard. That’s a school-quality playground out there,
with enough room left for a pool. Come look!”
Jace stayed where he was. In the bathroom mirror, he could see that
his poker face had slipped. His reflection showed a man under strain,
despite holding hands with the most adorable creature in the world.
Sorry, Samson and Ben. Jace waggled his eyebrows at Emma in the
mirror, causing her to giggle. Ben, who was holding her other hand,
sucked in his cheeks, making himself look like he’d just eaten a lemon.
This made Emma howl with laughter.
“You don’t like it?” Greg said, lowering the clipboard.
“I love it,” Jace said. “But I told you, we’re looking for a small
house.”
“It’s only three bedrooms,” Greg said, clearly not understanding.
“You’ve been in Houston too long,” Jace replied. “Three bedrooms
is huge. Especially for us. What do we need that many rooms for?”
“Well, just look at you guys.” Greg gestured to all three of them.
“You’ll want to adopt someday. Hasn’t Michelle talked to you about
that?”
Jace and Ben glanced at each other. Then down at Emma.
“You’re going to adopt me?” she asked.
“No, honey,” Greg said, “but someday they might want to adopt kids
of their own. Then you would have a cousin. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Jace said. “I mean, I appreciate you
coming all the way out here, but I don’t think you understand what we’re
looking for.”
“It’s really nice,” Ben said, no doubt trying to ease Greg’s hurt
expression. “But I don’t earn much and you know about all the airline
cutbacks.”
“Okay.” Greg shrugged. “I can talk the owners down. We can chip in
too. You know Michelle and I have more money than we’ll ever need.”
From anyone else, the statement would have been boastful, but Jace
knew that Greg meant it. He’d give them every penny he could spare if
they asked, but Jace wanted to own a house because of his own hard
work. He and Ben had been saving up for this very moment. To stand
now in a house so out of their price range was almost embarrassing.
“I can make a few calls,” Greg said.
Jace was about to thank him and decline, but Ben spoke first.
“Jace, why don’t you take Emma out back to play? I’ll go over what
we need with Greg one more time. I’m sure he can help us find what
we’re looking for.”
He agreed, if only to spare Greg’s feelings. Once in the backyard,
Emma broke free and ran for the playground. Most kids were happy to
have a couple of swings and a small slide. The children who would live
here had tunnels to crawl through, a bouncy hanging bridge, some kind
of pulley thing to swing along—
“We would have killed to have that,” Michelle said, leaning against
the house. She had one arm over her stomach, the other vertical and
resting on it. He recognized the pose from when she used to smoke.
Jace walked over to join her. “Ben’s going to look adorable swinging
along those monkey bars.”
Michelle smiled wryly. “I told Greg this wasn’t the right house for
you.”
“Are you sure?” Jace said. “Apparently we’re adopting kids soon.”
Michelle jutted out her lower lip and exhaled, causing the hair on her
forehead to wave. “I merely said it would be nice someday. You know
how Greg takes an idea and runs with it. Besides, you guys would make
great parents. Every day at work I see kids who need a loving home. It’s
only natural I think of my brother and his lovely man-wife.”
Jace appreciated the compliment. His sister worked in foster care,
interviewing potential families and trying to match them to the right
children. To him it sounded like a very emotionally taxing job, but it
gave her a sense of satisfaction. Jace was immensely proud of her.
“I don’t think we’re ready quite yet,” he said. “Even when we get a
house, you know my schedule. I’m not home enough to be a parent.”
“Ben is,” Michelle said. “Remember how Greg’s dad was only there
on weekends? Plenty of kids grow up with one parent paying the bills
while the other does all the nurturing.”
Jace nodded. “I suppose. We’re still not going to buy this house.”
Michelle snorted. “I wasn’t trying to give you the tough sell. I know
my husband is crazy.”
“More like you’re crazy about him,” Jace teased.
“That’s what I tell myself every night as I hold a pillow above his
sleeping head.”
They laughed, then contented themselves with watching the children
play. Until the glass door slid open.
“I’ve got it!” Greg declared. “Let’s go, kids! In the car! Your uncles
need to buy a house.”
Jace gave him a skeptical look.
“It doesn’t even have a garage!” Greg said proudly.
Behind him, Ben nodded encouragingly. Piling into two cars, they
drove to an old part of Austin. The streets were lined with ripe old trees,
rustling branches thick with leaves. The houses here were smaller,
perhaps built during a time when the economy wasn’t doing so well. The
visible age of the neighborhood had charm. No giant lawns sequestered
by lengths of privacy fences. Here everything was closer together,
making it feel more intimate.
No garage or driveway. Greg wasn’t kidding. Just street parking like
at the house Victor’s mom used to live in. The house’s condition wasn’t
much better than that home, either. The roof looked solid enough, but
shutters were falling off the windows, the little porch was missing
boards, and everything needed to be painted.
“How many bedrooms?” Jace asked, standing in front of the steps.
“One!” Greg declared happily.
“And how much does it cost?”
“It’s within our range,” Ben said.
Jace glanced over at him, back at the house, and back over at Ben
again. Then he swept Ben up in his arms. “Open the door,” he told Greg.
“I’m carrying my husband over the threshold.”
“Wait until we see inside,” Ben said, laughing.
Jace didn’t need to. He had a good feeling about it. Once this little
house got some of their love, it would be perfect.
* * * * *
Tim Wyman returned to their lives once more, albeit in a manner
much different than the first time. Gone was the cocky self-assured guy
with the body of a demi-god. Now he was broken, struggling in a
dysfunctional relationship that drove him to drink. Or so Ben told Jace
one night. They were sitting in the backyard, sharing a bottle of wine to
celebrate one year of being homeowners. How ironic, then, that the
homewrecker would reappear.
Regardless, Ben was concerned about Tim and felt he needed help.
Jace, more convinced of their love than ever, gave his blessing. As he
had done the first time, he let go. Not by offering Ben a break. He simply
trusted him to do the right thing.
And he did. Ben chased away Tim’s abusive boyfriend—doing so in
a manner Jace wasn’t particularly fond of—and after much thought, Ben
decided that maybe Tim could be his friend. Jace allowed this too, even
hanging out with them on occasion.
Ben was right. Tim had changed. Life hadn’t been particularly kind
to him, but maybe this was for the best, since he had gained humility.
Despite everything that had happened in the past, Jace found himself
hoping that Tim would do better. Tim still struggled with expressing who
he was, or with revealing the near-mythical good side that Ben insisted
existed. It did, though. Jace began to see glimpses of it too.
Friendship is a poor remedy for love, and when it became clear that
the feelings between Ben and Tim had merely faded into the background
and not disappeared, Jace began to worry. He wouldn’t ask Ben to make
a difficult decision this time. Jace wouldn’t lecture him on how all of this
was normal, before repeating his needs. Ben knew them by now. Jace
believed in monogamy and commitment.
Jace was doing dishes one night, window open to humid air since the
weak air conditioner couldn’t keep up, when he discovered Ben missing.
The television was still on, the sensory assault of commercials rendered
impotent by a lack of audience. Jace shut off the TV and walked from
room to room, finding each empty. Then he went to the backyard and
waited, watching the fireflies blink in the grass, hoping to attract a lover.
The atmosphere between Ben and Tim had been thick lately. Jace
only pointed it out once, but the way Ben looked at Tim… Jace supposed
such things were obvious. Shortly after they moved in, when they’d been
unpacking, Jace had stripped away newspaper to find a primitive carving
of a lion. The shock of seeing it unexpectedly, the emotions it conjured,
must have been transparent because Ben had stopped what he was doing
and stared.
So Jace didn’t blame Ben for having a heart that could love more
than one person. Jace had one too. Everyone did. He just wasn’t sure
what he would do if Ben didn’t come home again, mostly because he
didn’t have a home without him.
Samson stood at the screen door, meowing plaintively at not being
allowed out. Then he stopped, bounding off through the house. That
meant Ben was home. Jace stayed where he was, scared of what he might
see. He tried to have faith, but he was still human. Imagining the worst
was all too easy. Still, Ben had come home.
When the screen door slid open, then closed again, Jace turned in his
chair. Ben’s cheeks were red, as were his eyes. Had he been crying?
Jace stood and went to him. When he asked his question, he kept all
traces of accusation from his voice. “Where did you go?”
“I drove over to Tim’s house,” Ben said. His chin quivered, but then
he steeled himself. “To say goodbye.”
Jace placed his hands on Ben’s shoulders, making eye contact. “You
didn’t have to do that,” he said.
Ben shook his head. “I did. Believe me, I did. I love you, Jace. Don’t
think this means I don’t, because I do!”
Jace nodded. “You having feelings for Tim and having the strength
to turn away… Remember in Paris when you felt so desperate to prove
your love for me? I didn’t feel you needed to then, and you don’t need to
now, but the sacrifice you’re making—it’s tremendous.”
“I love you both,” Ben said, swallowing against the confession. “Is
that wrong?”
“No,” Jace said. “Love is never wrong. What you choose to do about
it, well, that’s debatable. But never apologize for feeling love.”
Ben held up his left hand, brandishing his ring. “I made a promise,
but only to one of you.”
“Any regrets about that?” Jace asked, trying a tentative smile.
To his relief, Ben smiled back and shook his head. “None at all.”
* * * * *
Some mornings felt like hell. That was just part of getting older. Jace
tried to remember ever waking up as a teenager and feeling like he’d
gone ten rounds in a boxing ring. These days, if he slept in the wrong
position, he’d wake up with an aching neck or back. Naturally he
couldn’t consciously control how he lay while sleeping, so at times the
bed seemed more like a roulette wheel. Would he land on red and wake
up feeling fine, or on black and start the day in pain?
Black, as it turned out. Just sitting upright made Jace’s head hurt,
which was ridiculous. He was thirty-three, not sixty-three. Jace sat on the
edge of the bed, waiting for the blood to stop pounding in his ears. When
it didn’t, he decided to give caffeine a try. He used the restroom first,
then picked his flannel boxers up off the floor and went to find Ben.
Both things that he wanted were in the kitchen. Ben was seated at the
table, half a grapefruit in front of him, which he insisted was slimming.
Of course Ben added a heap of sugar to make it palatable, but Jace
wasn’t worried. Ben looked as slim as the day they’d met. He padded
over to the coffee machine, which Ben had thoughtfully run for him, a
clean empty mug waiting next to it. Jace poured himself a cup and went
