complain. He showed Victor to his bedroom, which suddenly felt a little
awkward. He didn’t have his own television like Greg did, or anything he
expected Victor would find very interesting. He had a decent music
collection, but they couldn’t listen to anything right now.
“Uh, I gotta take a shower real quick. Think you’ll be okay?”
“Yeah.” Victor tossed their candy on the bed. “I’ll check for razor
blades or something.”
“Okay.” Jace didn’t want to leave the room, but once he was in the
bathroom, he groaned. He looked like hell. Of course he was supposed
to, but he’d mostly forgotten how gory his makeup was. Victor had been
staring at a ghastly face all night.
Jace rushed through his usual shower ritual, dried off, and threw on a
clean T-shirt and pajama bottoms. When he returned to his room, Victor
was stretched out on the bed, flipping through an old comic book. He had
taken off his shoes. The Army jacket too. For the first time, Jace could
see a lot more of his body. Victor wasn’t ripped or anything, his build on
the thin side, but Jace’s interest was piqued.
“You a big Batman fan?” Victor asked, setting aside the comic.
Jace shook his head. “Just one of those things that I’ve had around
forever.”
“Oh. I always liked the old television show. Cheesy, but fun.”
He couldn’t remember much about it, unfortunately. Instead, Jace
was worried about the sleeping arrangements. He and Greg had grown up
together, so sharing a bed didn’t seem awkward. And besides, the
mattress was queen-size, so there was plenty of room.
“My best friend is straight and we sleep together,” Jace blurted out.
“Sounds like you should be on a talk show.”
Jace’s face started to burn. “Not like that. I mean we share the bed,
but if that makes you uncomfortable, I’ll take the floor.”
Victor grinned. “It’s fine. If your best friend can handle it, so can I.”
“Oh, okay.” Jace hesitated. “Are you tired?”
“Yeah. Let’s call it a night.” Victor stood and started unbuttoning his
jeans. Jace forced himself to look away and shut off the light. Then he
crawled into bed, keeping his back to his guest. Once Victor was under
the sheets with him, Jace mumbled good night, closed his eyes, and
remained absolutely rigid for the next half hour. Part of him didn’t want
to accidently brush against Victor and give him the wrong impression,
mostly because that would be the exact right impression.
Sleep felt far away, so Jace listened to the sound of Victor’s
breathing as it deepened, took in the subtle scent of his body, and felt
amazed at the warmth next to him. No wonder Michelle always let guys
sneak through her window at night! Once Jace was sure Victor was
asleep, he rolled over. In the dim light, he could see Victor’s bare
shoulder, his messy punk hair. He stared at these simple things, yearning
to reach out his hand, to touch him. It wouldn’t have to be sexual. Sure,
Jace wanted that as well, but even more he wanted to hold another man,
or maybe be held. He just wanted to be close to someone.
Eventually, eyes burning from exhaustion, Jace rolled back over and
went to sleep.
* * * * *
Sunlight streamed through his bedroom window, bathing his room in
light. When Jace woke up, the first thing he did was make sure he wasn’t
dreaming. He’d had quite a few in the night, none of them satisfying.
Most revolved around trying to pull the blankets off Victor, but they
wouldn’t budge, like they were made of cement. As Jace eyed Victor’s
sleeping form next to him, this frustration remained. Of course now he
could pull down the blankets and see what he was missing, but Jace
wasn’t ready to sink that low.
Instead he lay on his back and tried to think of anything boring to get
his morning wood to subside. Algebra, the dirty microwave at Bernie’s
Stop and Shop, Dan’s ugly face… That last one did it. Jace crawled out
of bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and hit the shower. Sure he’d taken
one the night before, but sleeping always made him feel grubby, and last
night he had sweat much more than usual.
When he returned to his room, Victor was awake and sitting up, the
sheets scrunched up around his waist. Jace had never seen him in
daylight before. Nor had he seen this much of him. “Did you sleep
well?” he mumbled as he stared. Victor was thin—not surprising if he
skipped meals so often. Dark hair was sprinkled across the very top of
his chest, his torso below smooth until the hair returned in a narrow trail
just below his belly button. When Jace realized that Victor hadn’t
answered, he looked up to find him smirking.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, man,” Victor said, “but I think
you might be gay.”
“Ha ha.” Jace rolled his eyes and busied himself with straightening
up his room. “Do you want to take a shower?”
“Aaaand that confirms it.”
“Not with me!” Jace said, body tensing. When he saw Victor’s grin
he relaxed.
“Yeah, a shower sounds good. If there’s still time.”
“There is.” Jace turned his back when Victor started getting out of
bed. “Uh, my family usually eats breakfast together. I don’t know if
you’re up for that. I wouldn’t blame you for sneaking out.”
Victor laughed. “I’m good. You know me and free food. I can’t say
no.”
“Okay. Well, there are fresh towels beneath the sink.”
“Okay.”
The room was silent. Victor didn’t seem to be moving. Jace could
sense him standing not too far away, but he kept his focus on arranging
the socks in his dresser.
“What do I call your parents?” Victor said eventually. “Here I am in
your room, wearing nothing but my underwear, and I don’t even know
your last name.”
“Holden.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Holden. All right.”
The room was quiet again, although Jace was sure he could hear the
frantic beating of his own heart.
“Jace?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s okay to look. I don’t mind.”
After some hesitation, Jace turned around. Victor was standing there,
the window behind illuminating him like the sexiest saint ever
conceived. Jace noticed for the first time the thin dark line around one of
Victor’s arms. A tattoo? His attention didn’t remain there for long. Jace
followed the teasing trail of hair down to the maroon briefs. Victor was
thin, but this only made his bulge appear all the more pronounced.
Before Jace’s tongue flopped out and he started panting, he looked
upward, his gaze traveling back to those mismatched eyes.
“Anyone would be lucky to have you look at them like that.” Victor
smiled, but it was gentle, not mocking or amused. “You remember that.”
Jace didn’t think that would be a problem. He wouldn’t forget a
single detail of this moment. Ever!
Victor asked him where the bathroom was, then excused himself.
Even though Jace had found sexual relief in the shower, he had no doubt
he was up for another round. Rather than risk getting caught, he sat on
the edge of the bed and considered the implications.
Was Victor simply being nice? Or was it more than that? His
package had been impressive, and yet Victor hadn’t been hard. If he was
interested in Jace, wouldn’t he have been? Surely Victor now knew Jace
was interested, since like everything else, his thoughts and feelings
seemed completely transparent to him.
A smile crept over Jace’s face. Whatever it all meant, having a
nearly naked man let him stare was pretty damn awesome. His good
mood remained intact, even when Victor returned—dressed in
yesterday’s clothing—and they joined his family at the breakfast table.
He imagined Victor squirming in discomfort, eager to escape back to the
wild world he came from. Instead he was right in his element. Victor
ignored the surprised or curious stares and happily chatted with all of
Jace’s family, even Michelle, whose jaw was practically resting on the
table. Of course Victor was still weird. He began telling them of the
chicken farm a family friend owned, about the battery cages and
miserable living conditions of the egg-laying hens. By the end of
breakfast, most of them had uneaten eggs on their plates, except for
Jace’s father, who happily gobbled up the leftovers.
When it was time to go, Michelle allowed Victor to ride shotgun
while Jace drove. “I insist,” she said. Having overcome her surprise, she
donned a patient expression. Despite it, Jace knew she’d be grilling him
the second they were alone.
“You can let me out here,” Victor said once they were downtown.
Jace pulled over, watching Victor in the rearview mirror. He had a
lot of questions, but he couldn’t ask most of them, especially in front of
his sister. “Are you coming by Bernie’s tonight?” he asked.
“If you’re working. Sure.”
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! Jace practiced restraint, managing a
fairly detached, “Okay. Cool.”
“Everything,” Michelle said as they pulled away from the curb. “I
don’t care if you have to drive in circles for the next three hours. I’m not
getting out of this car until I know everything.”
Jace laughed and filled her in on the basics. He didn’t tell her about
the strange moment in the woods last night, or Victor in his underwear
this morning. Those things were private, treasures he would hoard
greedily, like his fictional black widow did jewelry.
“What do you think?” he asked when finished with his story.
“Well, it’s obvious you like him. So much for the slow realization
fantasy.”
“No kidding. If you weren’t in the car I probably would have
proposed.”
Michelle giggled. “I can’t believe Mom and Dad let you have a
boyfriend over.”
“It’s not like that,” Jace said. “We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, for now.” Michelle considered him. “So is Victor—”
Jace sighed. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to tell?”
Michelle shrugged. “Just ask him, I guess. You said he’s totally cool
with you being gay, so I don’t think he’d find the question offensive.”
Jace mulled this over as they pulled into the school parking lot. Why
not? When Victor showed up at Bernie’s tonight, he’d simply ask him.
* * * * *
Jace and his sister rarely ate together, despite having the same lunch
period. As close as they were, they remained siblings, and this meant
getting sick of sharing the same roof. So when Michelle approached his
table, Julie blushing along behind her, Jace knew he was in for an
awkward conversation, especially since his sister seemed amused.
“Hi,” Julie said, practically squirming as she sat down.
“Hello there!” Greg replied, happy to flirt with any girl.
Julie barely looked at him. Instead she stared at Jace, not saying a
word. Okay, maybe he could understand why Victor had him so figured
out, especially if Jace behaved anything like she did. He felt like offering
her a napkin in case she drooled.
“Julie here has something to tell you,” Michelle said.
Julie blinked. “I do?”
“About Victor.” Michelle said helpfully.
Jace perked up. “Really?”
“Oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot!” Julie’s shyness melted away
as she delved into gossip. “Victor Hemingway is a hero! You know who
Mr. Collins is?”
“Yeah, the health and fitness teacher,” Jace said. The course was a
requirement for all sophomores, focusing on nutrition, exercise, and
anything else relating to staying fit.
“He’s also one of the PE coaches,” Greg said. “I was unlucky
enough to have him for both classes that year. The guy is a total jerk. He
was always going on about priming the pump. ‘If you want to get
anywhere in life, you have to prime the pump.’”
Jace laughed. “I remember that. What he really meant is that we
were supposed to kiss his ass.”
“Everyone hates him,” Julie agreed. “The guy is a total Nazi. He
made so many girls in my class cry.”
“I had Mrs. Sheridan,” Michelle said. “What’s so bad about Mr.
Collins?”
“He’s a dick,” Greg said frankly. “One time he talked about how
peeing in the shower isn’t a big deal, because urine is sterile. He asked
people to raise their hands if they’d ever done that, which of course was
every guy there. Then Mr. Collins told us how disgusting we all were
and called us animals.”
“Like he’s never done it!” Jace said.
Michelle snorted. “Hell, even I pee in the shower sometimes.”
They all laughed, but Jace had an even worse story that made him
somber. “Did he do that body-check thing with you guys? With us he
called three people to the front, each with a different build. One was
skinny, one fat, and one was some perfect guy on the football team.”
“Mr. Collins loves his jocks,” Greg interjected.
“Yeah, they’re the only ones he was nice to. Anyway, Mr. Collins
praised the jock’s body, practically worshipping him before totally
humiliating the other two guys. He made the skinny one show his ribs,
then measured his arms and compared them to the jock’s muscles. The
overweight guy had it even worse. Mr. Collins measured his waist, which
was bad enough, and then made him lift his arms to point out all the flab
beneath. It was horrible.”
Julie nodded. “He did that to the girls too. I know some parents
complained, but he’s still teaching. My dad blamed tenure, whatever that
means. Anyway, it was something like that which set Victor off. All I
know is Mr. Collins was being his usual horrible self and Victor snapped
and slammed him up against the chalkboard.”
“Oh yeah!” Greg said excitedly. “I heard about that! He had his arm
pressed against Mr. Collins’s throat in some sort of Chuck Norris move.”
“The best part is what he said,” Julie continued. “Victor asked Mr.
Collins if he went home and primed his pump every night while thinking
about students’ bodies. His face turned bright red, so now everyone’s
sure that Mr. Collins was ashamed of the truth. He’s totally a perv.”
Or he couldn’t breathe. Either way, Jace felt a swelling in his chest.
“Mr. Collins took time off, didn’t he?”
“He was being investigated,” Julie said in conspiring tones. “Victor
was kicked out of school for assaulting a teacher, and no one has heard
from him since.”
“That’s not quite true,” Michelle said. “He was in our car this
