control of his destiny.
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events
as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong,
the optimist will tend to see the setback as result from external factors over which
one has little control.
If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset,
he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “oh,
well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”
The pessimist has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is
cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to
upset and frustrate him. The pessimist will become angry and negative and want to
strike out and get even. Often, he will honk his horn or yell at the other driver.
There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our
expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for
fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness.
We feel disillusioned. We react as though we have been punched in the “emotional
solar plexus”.
The optimistic person, however, soon moves beyond this disappointment. He
responds quickly to the adverse event and interprets it as being temporary, specific
and external to himself. The optimist takes full control of his inner dialogue and
counters the negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that it appear
positive in some way.
Napoleon Hill, who, prior to writing his best-selling books on success, interviewed
500 of the most successful people in America, concluded that “Contained within a
setback or disappointment is the seed of an equal or greater advantage or benefit.”
And this is one of the great secrets of success.
Since your conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or
negative, if you deliberately choose a positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your
mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts and feelings
determine your actions, you will tend to be a more constructive person, and you will
move much more rapidly toward the goals that you have chosen.
It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a regular basis. In our
courses of problem solving and decisions making, we encourage people to respond to
problems by changing their language from negative to positive. Instead of using the
word problem, we encourage people to use the word situation. You see, a problem is
something that you deal with. The event is the same. It’s the way you interpret the
event to yourself that makes it sound and appear completely different.
Even better than situation is the word challenge. Whenever you have a difficulty,
immediately reframe it and choose to view it as a challenge. Rather than saying, “I
have a problem,” say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.” The word
challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to that makes you
stronger and better. It is the same situation, only the word that you are using to
describe it is different.
The best of all possible words is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a
difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you can say, “I am faced
with an unexpected opportunity.” And if you concentrate your powers on finding out
what that opportunity is—even if it is only a valuable lesson—you will certainly find
it. As the parable says, “Seek and ye shall find, for all who seek find it.”
One of my favorite affirmative statements, which I use to deal with any
unexpected difficulty, is this: “Every situation is a positive situation if viewed as an
opportunity for growth and self-mastery. Whenever something goes wrong,
immediately neutralize its negative power by quickly reciting this statement.
If you are in sales, and your method of prospecting is not generating the results
that you desire, you can view it as an opportunity for growth and self-mastery. The
adversity you are facing may be meant to indicate to you that there is a better way
to approach this task. Perhaps you should be prospecting in a different place, or with
different people, or using a different script or a different method. Perhaps your
difficulty is simply part of the process of developing the persistence and tenacity that
you need to become successful in any kind of market. The difference between the
winner and the loser is that the winner faces and deals with the adversity
constructively, while the loser allows the adversity to overwhelm him.
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is
the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms
of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a
positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under
control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of
interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature
personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and
influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or
distracted.
The starting point in the process of becoming a highly effective person is to
monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and
your words positive and consistent with your goals, and keep your mind focused on
what you want to do and the person you want to be.
Here are five ideas you can use to help you to be a more positive and optimistic
person:
First, resolve in advance that no matter what happens, you will not allow it to get
you down. You will respond in a constructive way. You will take a deep breath, relax
and look for whatever good the situation my contain. When you make this decision in
advance, you mentally prepare yourself so that you are not knocked off balance
when things go wrong, as they inevitably will.
Second, neutralize any negative thoughts or emotions by speaking to yourself
positively all the time. Say things like, “I feel healthy! I feel happy! I feel terrific!”
As you go about your job, say to yourself, I like myself, and I love my work!” Say
things like, “Today is a great day; it’s wonderful to be alive!” According to the law of
expression, whatever is expressed is impressed. Whatever you say to yourself or
others is impressed deeply into your subconscious mind and is likely to become a
permanent part of your personality.
Third, look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary,
specific and external. View the negative situations as a single event that is not
connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors
over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any
way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence of inability.
Fourth, remember that it is impossible to learn and grow and become a
successful person without adversity and difficulties. You must contend with and rise
above them in order to become a better person. Welcome each difficulty by saying,
“That’s good!” and then look into the situation to find the good in it.
Finally, keep your thoughts on your goals and dreams, on the person you are
working toward becoming. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to
yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.” Resolve to
be cheerful and pleasant, and resist every temptation toward negativity and
disappointment. View a disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and
about it to yourself and others in a positive and optimistic way.
When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental pictures
consistent with your goals and dreams, there is nothing that can stop you from being
the success you are meant to be.
Note: . Brian Tracy’s Articles are the property of Brian Tracy International all rights
reserved.
Ebook is compiled by Josh Hinds – GetMotivation.com . 2002
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