creative and enjoy high levels of physical, mental and emotional energy.
There is no way that you will want to retire to a rocking chair and just laze
around for twenty or twenty-five years.
From this day forward, think of yourself working productively to the age of
75. Of course, once you become financially independent, you will not work
because you have to, but because you want to. You will work at different
jobs, doing different things that allow you to specialize in those tasks and
activities that you most enjoy. But it is not likely that you will ever retire.
Even if you do, you will have ten extra years of active work before you stop.
Time Power
Most of Your Life Lies Ahead
Coming back to you current job, and to the sunk costs of the past, look
forward and imagine that you have several decades of productive work life
ahead of you. From that perspective, what would you really like to do with
your life in the coming years? If you could work at any job at all, what
would it be? If you could work in any industry, or in any part of the country,
performing any particular function, and you were free to choose, what would
you choose for yourself? All these options are open to you today.
There was a wonderful story in the newspaper recently. It was about a
woman who had come from a limited family background and only finished
high school. Her first job was as a nurse’s aide. But she was both ambitious
and determined. By working hard and studying evenings and weekends, she
eventually became a registered nurse. She took additional courses and was
promoted. She eventually became a head nurse in her hospital. Meanwhile,
she married and had two children.
When she was forty years old, it dawned on her that she could be a doctor, if
she put her mind to it. Her exposure to other doctors had convinced her that
they were no smarter than she was. She sat down with her family and told
them of her dream. Her husband and her teenage children supported her
completely. From that day forward, they took care of all the family work
responsibilities so that she could return to school, complete the necessary
courses, and become a doctor.
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At the age of 48, she graduated with honors with a degree in pediatric
medicine. By the time she was 50, she was established in a medical practice
working with children. She was deriving more joy and satisfaction out of her
life and work than she ever thought possible.
Think About Your Future
Today it is not uncommon to see men and women going back to college or
university in their forties and fifties, spending several years earning
advanced degrees, and then coming out and going into professional practice
at the age of fifty or fifty-five. They then settle in to practice their specialty
for the next ten to twenty years. And this is possible for you as well.
No matter what you have done or failed to do, in the past, your future can be
unlimited. You can decide, right now, that you are going to go to work on
yourself and prepare yourself to do the kind of job that you love to do. You
are going to do work that fills you with the greatest joy and satisfaction
possible. You then set it as a goal, make a plan and then start to work. You
do something everyday to increase your knowledge and upgrade your skills,
which moves you faster toward doing the work that you were meant to do in
the field that is ideal for you.
Sometimes people complain that it may take several years to achieve the
level of knowledge and skill that will enable them to do what they love to
do. But as I said earlier, “The time is going to pass anyway!” Five years
from now, you will be five years older. Ten years from now, you will be ten
years older. If there is something that you would really like to do that
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requires years of advance preparation, the best time to get started is right
now. The time is going to pass anyway.
Because of the dynamic nature of the job market, the average person in
America will have ten major full time jobs lasting two years or more, and as
many as four or five different careers over the course of his or her working
lifetime. Look at your current job and ask yourself if this is what you would
like to do for the rest of your life. If it is not, then sit down and decide what
it is that you would like to do, and what you would have to do to get into
that position.
Working in the wrong job is a way of not only wasting your time, but your
life. Working at the right job for you is one of the very best ways of living a
long life of happiness and fulfillment. It is a way of assuring that you get the
greatest possible value out of your time and your life.
Perhaps the Greatest Time Waster of All
Perhaps the greatest time waster of all in life is getting into and staying in
the wrong relationship. It is absolutely amazing how many people get
married early in life, or begin living with someone in their twenties, and then
stay in a situation where they are unhappy year after year. They don’t stop to
think that these years are gone forever. They can never be recaptured.
What is the purpose of a relationship? The simplest answer is that the reason
for being in a relationship is to be happier than you would be if you were not
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in that relationship at all. This is so obvious that it is overlooked by many
people.
Every human act is aimed at improving your life in some way, at increasing
your level of happiness beyond what it might have been if you had not taken
that act or made that decision. The choice of a relationship is therefore one
of the most important choices that you make in life. The choice of the right
relationship can have more of an impact on your happiness than any other
choice you make. The choice of a wrong relationship can do more to destroy
your hopes and dreams than any other choice.
Be Honest With Yourself
Apply the zero based thinking question: “If I had not gotten into this
relationship or marriage, knowing what I know now, would I get into it
again today if I had to do it over?” Asking and answering this question is
one of the hardest, yet one of the most important things you ever do.
If you find that you are unhappier inside the relationship than you would be
outside the relationship, you owe it to yourself to seriously consider making
some changes. Think about how long you are going to live. If you are
unhappy in your relationship today, are you prepared to live with this level
of unhappiness and dissatisfaction for the rest of your life?
People Don’t Change
Time Power
There is a basic rule in human relationships. It is that “people don’t change.”
Both you and every person you meet is a product of their entire lives.
Starting in infancy and early childhood, they were exposed to influences that
shaped their behaviors. By their late teens, their values and their
personalities are largely fixed. If you ever attend a 10, 20, or 30-year high
school reunion, you will be amazed to see that, aside from the signs of aging,
the people that you grew up with are very much the same many decades
later.
People don’t change. You should never hang your hopes for happiness on
the possibility that someone is going to change and become a different
person. You have not changed in your entire life. It is not realistic to expect
that others might change, even if they want to, or if they promise to. In fact,
not only do people not change, but under pressure, they go from bad to
worse. They become even more of what they already are.
Evaluate Your Options
If you decide that you would not get into this relationship, knowing what
you now know, your next question is, “How do I get out of this situation,
and how fast?” Remember, your main goal in life is to achieve your own
happiness and to fulfill your potential as a human being. Anything that
stands in the way of your becoming the very best person you can possibly be
needs to be carefully examined, and if necessary, changed.
One of the most popular plays ever written and performed is Cyrano de
Bergerac by Edmond Rostand. Toward the end of the play, Cyrano is asked
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why it is that he has been so intensely individualistic his whole life, not
caring about the opinions and criticisms of others. He replies with these
words, “At an early age, I decided that in life I would choose the line of least
resistance, and please at least myself in all things.”
This is a profound observation. Throughout our lives, because of the desire
for approval and the fear of rejection, we bend our personalities and adjust
our behaviors so that others will like us and approve of us. We constantly
think about what we need to do to be liked and accepted. If we are not
careful, we can lose our own personalities and become preoccupied with
pleasing other people.
Please At Least Yourself
But this is a dead end. The likes and dislikes of others change continuously,
and often momentarily. It is not possible for you to ever do, be or say all of
the right things necessary to get people to like, respect and accept you. No
matter how hard you try to conform to their wishes, you will always make
mistakes, trigger their disapproval, and end up feeling foolish.
The key to happiness is to, “Please at least yourself in all things.” In this
way, you can be sure that at least one person is happy with what you do, and
the way things turn out. Since you can never predict what will please others,
please at least yourself.
One of the marks of the “fully functioning person,” as defined by
psychologist Carl Rogers, is that he or she is not unduly influenced by the
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opinions of others. A fully mature, fully functioning adult takes the likes,
dislikes and the opinions of others into consideration, but then makes his or
her own decisions and goes his or her own way. If others do not like or
approve of his course of action, he ignores it and carries on regardless.
The key is for you not to worry about what people think of you. The fact is
that people are not really thinking about you at all. Most people are so
preoccupied with their own problems and concerns that they don’t have time
to think about the lives or actions of others. Set your own sails. Play your
own game. Determine your own destiny. Do whatever seems to you to be the
right thing to do at the moment. Please yourself. Ignore the rest.
Your Time and Your Life Are Precious
Be selfish with your time. Remember, your time is your life, and this life is
not a rehearsal for something else. Say “no” to requests for your time that
don’t move you toward your own goals and personal aspirations. When you
say “No,” people will often express a little disappointment, or even a try to
make you feel guilty. Nonetheless, you should stick to your guns. Their
shallow disapproval will only last for a few seconds, and then they will be
off to someone else to ask them to donate their time or money. And you will
be free.
In developing a philosophy of time management, treat your time like money.
Allocate your time at your hourly rate. Use this hourly rate as a measuring
tool for everything you do.
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Concentrate your efforts on high value tasks, on tasks that can pay you what
you want to earn. If you want to earn $25.00 per hour, continually ask
yourself, “Is what I am doing right now the sort of work that pays $25.00 per
hour or more?” If it is not, discipline yourself to stop doing it. Discipline
yourself to only do work that pays what you really want to earn.
What Makes You Special
You are your most valuable asset. The part of you that makes you distinct
and unique is your mind. It is your ability to think and act. Throughout your
life you should work at upgrading the quality of your thinking and
improving your skills for doing the most important things you do in your
work and in your life.
Invest regularly in self-improvement, and in personal and professional
development. Continually look for ways to increase the value of your
contribution to the people who depend upon you. Dedicate yourself to life
long learning. The development of your expertise and skills through hard
work and study can do more to multiply your value and your earning ability
than almost anything else you can do.
Personal and professional development is an extremely high value use of
your time. The future impact of self-study can be immeasurable. By
developing an additional skill at the right time, you can often catapult your
career to much higher levels. You can jump ahead five years by becoming
extremely good at a key skill that is very much in demand at the moment.
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See Yourself as a Role Model
In developing your philosophy of time and life management, see yourself as
a role model for others. Discipline yourself to set a positive example of
personal efficiency for your staff, your co-workers, and your boss, as well as
your family and children.
Imagine that others are looking up to you as a model of personal efficiency.
Imagine that you are the one who is setting the standards for time
management and personal effectiveness in your organization. Act as if you
are being carefully observed by others in everything you do. This will force
you to be far more disciplined and controlled in your daily actions than if
you thought that no one was watching.
Keep Your Life in Balance
Perhaps the most important part of both the Psychology and Philosophy of
Time Management is your willingness and ability to keep your life in
balance. Use your increased efficiency and productivity to create more time
that you can spend with the people that you care about the most.
The major sources of life’s joys are loving relationships with other people.
The great aim of Time Power is to enable you to get more happiness and joy
with the people you care about the most. Keep your life in balance by asking
yourself on a regular basis, “How would I spend my time if I only had six
