concluded, without much laughter, or commendation of the whole
Company: the Queene turned hir selfe towards Madam Fiammetta,
enjoyning her to succeed in apt order; and she being as ready as
sodainly commanded, began as followeth. Most gentle Ladies, I am
perswaded of your opinion in judgement with mine, that there is not
any thing, which can bee spoken pleasingly, except it be
conveniently suited with apt time and place: in which respect, when
Ladies and Gentlewomen are bent to discoursing, the due election of
them both are necessarily required. And therefore I am not unmindfull,
that our meeting heere (ayming at nothing more, then to outweare the
time with our generall contentment) should tye us to the course of our
pleasure and recreation, to the same conveniency of time and place;
not sparing, though some have bin nominated oftentimes in our passed
arguments; yet, if occasion serve, and the nature of variety be well
considered, wee may speake of the selfesame persons againe.
Now, notwithstanding the actions of Calandrino have beene
indifferently canvazed among us; yet, remembring what Philostratus not
long since saide, That they intended to nothing more then matter of
mirth: I presume the boldlier, to report another Novell of him, beside
them already past. And, were I willing to conceale the truth, and
cloath it in more circumstantiall maner: I could make use of
contrary names, and paint it in a poeticall fiction, perhaps more
probable, though not so pleasing. But because wandring from the
truth of things, doth much diminish (in relatic the delight of the
hearers: I will build boldly on my fore-alledged reason, and tel you
truly how it hapned.
Niccholao Cornacchini was once a Citizen of ours, and a man of great
wealth; who, among other his rich possessions in Camerata, builded
there a very goodly house, which being perfected ready for painting:
he compounded with Bruno and Buffalmaco who bicause their worke
required more helpe then their owne, they drew Nello and Calandrino
into their association, and began to proceed in their businesse. And
because there was a Chamber or two, having olde moveables in them,
as Bedding, Tables, and other Houshold stuffe beside, which were in
the custody of an old Woman that kepte the house, without the helpe of
any other servants else, a Son unto the saide Niccholao, beeing
named Phillippo, resorted thither divers times, with one or other
prety Damosell in his company (in regard he was unmarried) where he
would abide a day or two with her, and then convey her home againe.
At one time among the rest, it chanced that he brought a Damosell
thither named Nicholetta, who was maintained by a wily companion,
called Magione, in a dwelling which hee had at Camaldoli, and (indeed)
no honester then she should be. She was a very beautifull young woman,
wearing garments of great value, and (according to her quality) well
spoken, and of commendable carriage. Comming forth of her Chamber
one day, covered with a White veyle, because her haire hung loose
about her, which shee went to wash at a Well in the middle Court,
bathing there also her face and hands: Calandrino going (by chance) to
the same Well for water, gave her a secret salutation. She kindly
returning the like courtesie to him, began to observe him advisedly:
more, because he looked like a man newly come thither, then any
handsomnesse she perceyved in him.
Calandrino threw wanton glances at her, and seeing she was both
faire and lovely, began to finde some occasion of tarrying, so that he
returned not with water to his other associates, yet neither knowing
her, or daring to deliver one word. She, who was not to learn her
lesson in alluring, noting what affectionate regards (with
bashfulnesse) he gave her: answered him more boldly with the like; but
meerly in scorning manner, breathing forth divers dissembled sighs
among them: so that Calandrino became foolishly inveigled with her
love, and would not depart out of the Court, until Phillippo, standing
above in his Chamber window called her thence.
When Calandrino was returned backe to his businesse, he could do
nothing else, but shake the head, sigh, puffe, and blowe, which
being observed by Bruno (who alwayes fitted him according to his
folly, as making a meer mockery of his very best behaviour) sodainly
he said. Why how now Calandrino? Sigh, puffe, and blow man? What may
be the reason of these unwonted qualities? Calandrino immediately
answered, saying: My friendly Companion Bruno, if I had one to lend me
a little helpe, I should very quickely become well enough. How? quoth
Bruno, doth any thing offend thee, and wilt thou not reveale it to thy
friend Deare Bruno, said Calandrino, there is a proper handsome
woman here in the house, the goodliest creature that ever any eye
beheld, much fairer then the Queen of Fairies her selfe, who is so
deeply falne in love with mee, as thou wouldst thinke it no lesse then
a wonder; and yet I never sawe her before, till yer while when I was
sent to fetch water. A very strange case, answered Bruno, take heede
Calandrino, that shee bee not the lovely friend to Phillippo, our yong
Master, for then it may prove a dangerous matter.
Calandrino stood scratching his head an indifferent while, and
then sodainly replyed thus. Now trust me Bruno, it is to bee
doubted, because he called her at his Window, and she immediatly
went up to his Chamber. But what doe I care if it be so? Have not
the Gods themselves bene beguiled of their Wenches, who were better
men then ever Phillippo can be, and shall I stand in feare of him?
Bruno replied: Be patient Calandrino, I will enquire what Woman she
is, and if she be not the wife or friend to our young master
Phillippo, with faire perswasions I can over-rule the matter,
because shee is a familiar acquaintance of mine. But how shall wee
doe, that Buffalmaco may not know heereof? I can never speake to
her, if hee be in my company. For Buffalmaco (quoth Calandrino) I have
no feare at all, but rather of Nello, because he is a neer Kinsman
to my wife, and he is able to undo me quite, if once it should come to
his hearing. Thou saist well, replyed Bruno, therefore the matter hath
neede to be very cleanly carried.
Now let me tell you, the Woman was well enough knowne to Bruno, as
also her quality of life, which Phillippo had acquainted him
withall, and the reason of her resorting thither. Wherefore,
Calandrino going forth of the roome where they wrought, onely to gaine
another sight of Nicholetta, Bruno revealed the whole history to
Buffalmaco and Nello; they all concluding together, how this amorous
fit of the foole was to be followed. And when Calandrino was
returned backe againe; in whispering maner Bruno said to him. Hast
thou once more seene her? Yes, yes Bruno, answered Calandrino: Alas,
she hath slaine me with her very eye, and I am no better then a dead
man. Be patient said Bruno, I will goe and see whether she be the same
woman which I take her for, or no: and if it prove so, then never
feare, but refer the businesse unto me.
Bruno descending downe the staires, found Phillippo and Nicholetta
in conference together, and stepping unto them, discoursed at large,
what manner of man Calandrino was, and how farre he was falne in
love with her: so that they made a merry conclusion, what should be
performed in this case, onely to make a pastime of his hot begun love.
And being come backe againe to Calandrino, he saide. It is the same
woman whereof I told thee, and therefore wee must worke wisely in
the businesse: for if Phillippo perceive any thing, all the water in
Arno will hardly serve to quench his fury. But what wouldst thou
have me say to her on thy behalfe, if I compasse the meanes to
speake with her? First of all (quoth Calandrino) and in the prime
place, tell her, that I wish infinite bushels of those blessings,
which makes Maides Mothers, and begetteth children. Next, that I am
onely hers, in any service she wil command me. Dooest thou
understand me what I say? Sufficiently answered Bruno, leave all to
me.
When supper time was come, that they gave over working, and were
descended downe into the Court: there they found Phillippo and
Nicholetta readily attending to expect some beginning of amorous
behaviour, and Calandrino glanced such leering lookes at her, coughing
and spetting with hummes and haes, yea in such close and secret
manner, that a starke blinde sight might verie easily have perceyved
it.
She also on the other side, returned him such queint and cunning
carriage, as enflamed him farre more furiously, even as if hee were
ready to leape out of himselfe. In the meane while, Phillippo,
Buffalmaco and the rest that were there present, seeming as if they
were seriouslie consulting together, and perceived nothing of his
fantastick behavior, according as Bruno had appointed, could scarse
refraine from extremity of laughter, they noted such antick trickes in
Calandrino.
Having spent an indifferent space in this foppish folly, the houre of
parting came, but not without wonderful affliction to Calandrino;
and as they were going towards Florence, Bruno saide closely to
Calandrino. I dare assure thee, that thou hast made her to consume and
melt, even like ice against the warme Sunne. On my word, if thou
wouldst bring thy Gitterne, and sit downe by us, singing some few
amorous songs of thine owne making, when we are beneath about our
businesse in the Court: shee would presently leape out of the
Window, as being unable to tarry from thee.
I like thy counsell well Bruno, answered Calandrino; but shall I
bring my Gitterne thither indeed? Yes, in any case, replied Bruno, for
Musicke is a matter of mighty prevailing. Ah Bruno (quoth
Calandrino) thou wouldst not credit me in the morning, when I tolde
thee, how the very sight of my person had wounded her: I perceived
it at the very first looke of her owne, for shee had no power to
conceale it. Who but my selfe could so soone have enflamed her
affection, and being a woman of such worth and beauty as shee is?
There are infinite proper handsome fellowes, that daily haunt the
company of dainty Damosels, yet are so shallow in the affayres of
love, as they are not able to win one wench of a thousand, no, not
with all the wit they have, such is their extreame follie and ill
fortune.
Then pausing a while, and sodainely rapping out a Lovers Oath or
two, thus he proceeded. My dearest Bruno, thou shalt see how I can
tickle my Gitterne, and what good sport will ensue thereon. If thou
dost observe me with judgement, why man, I am not so old as I seeme to
be, and she could perceive it at the very first view; yea, and she
shall finde it so too, when we have leysure to consult upon further
occasions: I finde my selfe in such a free and frolicke jocunditie
of spirit, that I will make her to follow me, even as a fond woman
doth after her child.
But beware, saide Bruno, that thou do not gripe her over-hard, and
in kissing, bee carefull of biting, because the teeth stand in thy
head like the pegges of a Lute, yet make a comely shew in thy faire
wide mouth, thy cheekes looking like two of our artificiall Roses,
swelling amiably, when thy jawes are well fild with meat. Calandrino
hearing these hansome comnendations, thought himselfe a man of
action already, going, singing, and frisking before his companie so
lively, as if he had not bin in his skin.
On the morrow, carrying his Gitterne thither with him, to the no
little delight of his companions, hee both played and sung a whole
Bed-role of himselfe to any worke all the day: but loitering
fantastically, one while he gazed out at the window, then ran to the
gate, and oftentimes downe into the Court onely to have a sight of his
Mistresse. She also (as cunningly) encountred all his ollies, by
such directions as Bruno gave her, and many more beside of her owne
devising, to quicken him still with new occasions: Bruno plaid the
Ambassador betweene them, in delivering the messages from
Calandrino, and then returning her answers to him. Sometimes when
she was absent thence (which often hapned as occasions called her)
then he would write letters in her name, and bring them, as if they
were sent by her, to give him hope of what hee desired, but because
she was then among her kindred, yet she could not be unmindfull of
him.
In this manner, Bruno and Buffalmaco (who had the managing of this
amorous businesse) made a meere Gregory of poore Calandrino, causing
him somtimes to send her, one while a pretty peece of Ivory, then a
faire wrought purse, and a costly paire of knives, with other such
like friendly tokens: bringing him backe againe, as in requital of
them, counterfetted Rings of no valew, Bugles and bables, which he
esteemed as matters of great moment. Moreover, at divers close and
sodain meetings, they made him pay for many dinners and suppers,
amounting to indifferent charges, onely to be careful in the
furtherance of his lovesuit, and to conceale it from his wife.
Having worne out three or foure months space in this fond and
frivolous manner, without any other successe then as hath bene
declared; and Calandrino perceiving, that the worke undertaken by
him and his fellowes, grew very neere uppon the finishing, which would
barre him of any longer resorting thither: hee began to solicite Bruno
more importunately, then all the while before he hadde done. In regard
whereof Nicholetta being one day come thither, and Bruno having
conferred both with her and Phillippo, with ful determination what was
to be done, he began with Calandrino, saying. My honest Neighbour
and Friend, this Woman hath made a thousand promises, to graunt what
thou art so desirous to have, and I plainly perceive that she hath
no such meaning, but meerely plaies with both our noses. In which
respect, seeing she is so perfidious, and will not perfourme one of
all her faithfull-made promises: if thou wilt consent to have it so,
she shall be compelled to do it whether she will or no. Yea marry
Bruno, answered Calandrino, that were an excellent course indeede,
