if it could be done, and with expedition.
Bruno stood musing awhile to himselfe, as if he had some strange
stratagem in his braine, and afterward said. Hast thou so much
corage Calandrino, as but to handle a peece of written parchment,
which I will give thee? Yes, that I have answered Calandrino, I hope
that needed not to be doubted. then, saide Bruno, procure that I may
have a piece of Virgin Parchment brought mee, with a living Bat or
Reremouse; three graines of Incense, and an hallowed Candle, then
leave me to effect what shal content thee. Calandrino watched all
the next night following, with such preparation as he could make,
onely to catch a Bat; which being taken at the last, he broght it
alive to Bruno (with all the other materials appointed) who taking him
alone into a backer Chamber, there hee wrote divers follies on the
Parchment, in the shape of strange and unusuall Charracters, which
he delivered to Calandrino, saying: Be bold Calandrino, and build
constantly uppon my wordes, that if thou canst but touch her with this
sacred Charractred charme, she will immediately follow thee, and
fulfil whatsoever thou pleasest to command hir. Wherefore, if
Phillippo do this day walke any whither abroad from this house,
presume to salute her, in any manner whatsoever it be, and touching
her with the written lines, go presently to the barn of hay, which
thou perceivest so neere adjoyning, the onely convenient place that
can be, because few or none resort thither. She shall (in despight
of her blood) follow thee; and when thou hast her there, I leave
thee then to thy valiant victory. Calandrino stood on tiptoe, like a
man newly molded by Fortune, and warranted Bruno to fulfil all
effectually.
Nello, whom Calandrino most of all feared and mistrusted, had a hand
as deepe as any of the rest in this deceite, and was as forward also
to have it performed, by Brunoes direction, hee went unto Florence,
where being in company with Calandrinoes Wife, thus hee began.
Cousine, thine unkinde usage by thine husband, is not unknown to me,
how he did beate thee (beyond the compasse of all reason) when he
brought home stones from the plain of Mugnone; in which regard, I am
very desirous to have thee revenged on him: which if thou wilt not do,
never repute me heereafter for thy Kinsman and Friend. He is falne
in love with a Woman of the common gender, one that is to be hired for
money: he hath his private meetings with her, and the place is
partly knowne to me, as by a secret appointment (made very lately) I
am credibly given to understand; wherefore walke presently along
with me, and thou shalt take him in the heat of his knavery.
All the while as these words were uttering to her, shee could not
dissemble her inward impatience, but starting up as halfe franticke
with fury. she said. O notorious villaine! Darest thou abuse thine
honest wife so basely? I sweare by blessed Saint Bridget, thou shalt
be paid with coyne of thine owne stampe. So casting a light wearing
Cloake about her, and taking a yong woman in her company; shee went
away with Nello in no meane haste. Bruno seeing her comming a farre
off, said to Phillippo: You Sir, you know what is to be done, act your
part according to your appointment. Phillippo went immediately into
the roome, where Calandrino and his other Consorts were at worke,
and said to them. Honest friends, I have certaine occasions which
command mine instant being at Florence: worke hard while I am
absent, and I will not be unthankefull for it. Away hee departed
from them, and hid himselfe in a convenient place, where he could
not be descryed, yet see whatsoever Calandrino did: who when he
imagined Phillippo to be farre enough off, descended downe into the
Court, where he found Nicholetta sitting alone, and going towards her,
began to enter into discoursing with her.
She knowing what remained to bee done on her behalfe, drew
somewhat neere him, and shewed her selfe more familiar then formerly
she had done: by which favourable meanes, he touched her with the
charmed Parchment, which was no sooner done; but with out using any
other kinde of language, hee went to the hay-Barne, whither
Nicholletta followed him, and both being entred, he closed the Barne
doore, and then stood gazing on her, as if hee had never seene her
before. Standing stil as in a study, or bethinking himselfe what he
should say: she began to use affable gesture to him, and taking him by
the hand, made shew as if shee meant to kisse him, which yet she
refrained, though he (rather then his life) would gladly have had
it. Why how now deare Calandrino (quoth she) jewell of my joy, comfort
of my heart, how many times have I longed for thy sweet Company? And
enjoying it now, according to mine owne desire, dost thou stand like a
Statue, or man alla morte? The rare tunes of the Gitterne, but (much
more) the melodious accents of thy voyce, excelling Orpheus or
Amphion, so ravished my soule, as I know not how to expresse the depth
of mine affection; and yet hast thou brought me hither, onely to looke
babies in mine eyes, and not so much as speake one kinde word to me?
Bruno and Buffalmaco, having hid themselves close behinde
Philippo, they both heard and saw all this amourous conflict, and as
Calandrino was quickning his courage, and wiping his mouth, with
intent to kisse her: his wife and Nello entred into the Barne, which
caused Nicholetta to get her gone presently, sheltring her self
where Philippo lay scouting. But the enraged woman ranne furiously
upon poore daunted Calandrino, making such a pitiful massacre with her
nailes, and tearing the baire from his head, as hee meerely looked
like an infected Anatomy. Fowle loathsome dog (quoth she) must you
be at your minions, and leave mee hunger-starved at home? An olde
knave with (almost) never a good tooth in thy head, and yet art thou
neighing after young wenches? hast thou not worke enough at home,
but must bee gadding in to other mens grounds? Are these the fruites
of wandring abroad?
Calandrino being in this pittifull perplexity, stood like one neither
alive nor dead, nor daring to use any resistance against her; but fell
on his knees before his Wife, holding up his hands for mercy, and
entreating her (for charities sake) not to torment him any more: for
he had committed no harme at all, and the Gentlewoman was his
Masters Wife, who came with no such intent thither, as shee fondly
imagined. Wife, or wife not (quoth she) I would have none to meddle
with my I but I that have the most right to him.
Bruno and Buffalmaco, who had laughed all this while heartily at
this pastime, with Phillippo and Nicholetta; came running in haste
to know the reason of this loude noise, and after they had pacified
the woman with gentle perswasions: they advised Calandrino, to walke
with his Wife to Florence, and returne no more to worke there
againe, least Phillippo hearing what had hapned, should be revenged on
him with some outrage. Thus poore Calandrino miserably misused and
beaten, went home to Florence with his Wife, scoulded and raild at all
the way, beside his other molestations (day and night) afterward:
his Companions, Phillippo and Nicholetta, making themselves merry at
his mis-fortune.
THE NINTH DAY, THE SIXT NOVELL
WHEREIN IS MANIFESTED, THAT AN OFFENCE COMMITTED IGNORANTLY,
AND BY MISTAKING; OUGHT TO BE COVERED WITH GOOD ADVISE, AND
CIVILL DISCRETION
Two yong Gentlemen, the one named Panuccio, and the other Adriano,
lodged one night in a poore Inne, where one of them went to bed to the
Hostes Daughter, and the other (by mistaking his way in the darke)
to the Hostes Wife. He which lay with the daughter, happened afterward
to the Hostes bed and told him what he had done, as thinking he
spake to his own companyon. Discontentment growing betweene them,
the Mother perceiving her errour, went to bed to her daughter, and
with discreete language, made a generall pacification.
Calandrino, whose mishaps had so many times made the whole
assembly merry, and this last passing among them with indifferent
commendations: upon a generall silence commanded, the Queene gave
order to Pamphilus, that hee should follow next, as indeed he did,
beginning thus. Praiseworthy Ladies, the name of Nicoletta, so
fondly affected by Calandrino, putteth mee in minde of a Novell,
concerning another Nicoletta, of whom I purpose to speake: to the ende
you may observe how by a sudden wary fore-sight, a discreet woman
compassed the meanes to avoyde a notorious scandall.
On the plaine of Mugnone, neere to Florence, dwelt (not long
since) an honest meane man, who kept a poore Inne or Ostery for
travellers, where they might have some slender entertainement for
their money. As he was but a poore man, so his house affoorded but
very small receit of guests, not lodging any but on necessity, and
such as he had some knowledge of. This honest poore hoste had a
woman (sufficiently faire) to his wife, by whom hee had also two
children, the one a comely young maiden, aged about fifteene yeares,
and the other a sonne, not fully (as yet) a yeare old, and sucking
on the mothers brest.
A comely youthfull Gentleman of our City, became amorously
affected to the Damosell, resorting thither divers times as hee
travelled on the way, to expresse how much he did respect her. And she
accounting her fortune none of the meanest, to bee beloved by so
youthfull a Gallant, declared such vertuous and modest demeanour, as
might deserve his best opinion of her: so that their love grew to an
equall simpathy, and mutuall contentment of them both, in
expectation of further effects; he being named Panuccio, and she
Nicholletta.
The heate of affection thus encreasing day by day, Panuccio grew
exceedingly desirous to enjoy the fruits of hi; long continued liking,
and divers devises mustred in his braine, how he might compasse one
nights lodging in her fathers house, whereof hee knew every part and
parcell, as not doubting to effect what hee desired, yet
undiscovered by any, but the maide her selfe.
According as his intention aymed, so he longed to put it in
execution, and having imparted his mind to an honest loyall friend,
named Adriano, who was acquainted with the course of his love:
hyring two horses, and having Portmantues behind them, filled with
matters of no moment, they departed from Florence, as if they had some
great journey to ride. Having spent the day time where themselves best
pleased, darke night being entred, they arrived on the plaine of
Mugnone, where, as if they were come from the parts of Romanio, they
rode directly to this poore Inne, and knocking at the doore, the
honest Hoste (being familiar and friendly to all commers) opened the
doore, when Panuccio spake in this manner to him. Good man, we must
request one nights lodging with you, for we thought to have reached so
farre as Florence, but dark night preventing us, you see at what a
late houre wee are come hither. Signior Panuccio, answered the
hoste, it is not unknowne to you, how unfiting my poore house is,
for entertaining such guests as you are: Neverthelesse, seeing you are
overtaken by so unseasonable an houre, and no other place is neere for
your receite; I will gladly lodge you so well as I can.
When they were dismounted from their horses, and entred into the
simple Inne: having taken order for feeding their horses, they
accepted such provision, as the place and time afforded, requesting
the Hoste to suppe with them. Now I am to tell you, that there was but
one small Chamsber in the house, wherin stood three beds, as best
the Hoste had devised to place them, two of them standing by the
walles side, and the third fronting them both, but with such close and
narrow passage, as very hardly could one step betweene them. The
best of these three beds was appointed for the Gentlemen, and
therein they layd them down to rest, but sleepe they could not, albeit
they dissembled it very formally. In the second Bed was Nicholetta the
daughter, lodged by her selfe, and the father and mother in the third,
and because she was to give the child sucke in the night time, the
radle (wherein it lay) stood close by their beds side, because the
childes crying or any other occasion concerning it, should not
disquiet the Gentlemen.
Panuccio having subtily observed all this, and in what manner they
went to bed; after such a space of time, as he imagined them to be all
fast asleepe, he arose very softly, and stealing to the bed of
Nicholetta, lay downe gently by her. And albeit she seemed somewhat
afraid at the first, yet wheri she perceived who it was, shee rather
bad him welcome, then shewed her selfe any way discontented. Now while
Panuccio continued thus with the maide, it fortuned that a Cat threw
down somewhat in the house, the noise wherof awaked the wife, and
fearing greater harme, then (indeed) had hapned, she arose without a
Candle, and went groping in the darke, towards the place where shee
heard the noyse. Adriano, who had no other meaning but well, found
occasion also to rise, about some naturall necessity, and making his
passage in the darke, stumbled on the childes Cradle (in the way)
where the woman had set it, and being unable to passe by, without
removing it from the place: tooke and set it by his owne beds side,
and having done the businesse for which he rose, returned to his bed
againe, never remembring to set the Cradle where first he found it.
The Wife having found the thing throwne downe being of no value or
moment, cared not for lighting any candle; but rating the Cat,
returned backe, feeling for the bed where her Husband lay, but finding
not the Cradle there, she said to her selfe. What a foolish woman am
I, that cannot well tell my selfe what I doe? Instead of my Husbands
bed, I am going to both my guests.
So, stepping on a little further, she found the childes Cradle,
and laid her selfe downe by Adriano, thinking shee had gone right to
her Husband. Adriano being not yet falne asleepe, feeling the hostesse
