any thing well, making me so weary of their continuall trifling, as
I have lefte all busines, given over the Garden, and what for one
mollestation, as also many other; I intended to tarry no longer there,
but came away, as thou seest. And yet the Factotum desired me at my
departing, that if I knew any one who would undertake the aforesaid
labours, I should send him thither, as (indeed) I promised to do:
but let mee fall sicke and dye, before I helpe to send them any.
When Massetto had heard the words of Lurco, hee was so desirous to
dwell among the Nunnes, that nothing else now hammered in his head:
for he meant more subtilly than poore Lurco did, and made no doubt
to please them sufficiently. Then considering with himselfe, how
best he might bring his intent to effect; which appeared not easily to
bee done. He could question no further therein with Lurco, but onely
demaunded other matter of him, saying: Introth thou didst well
Lurco, to come away from so tedious a dwelling, had he need to be more
then a man that is to live with such women? It were better for him
to dwell among so many divels, because they understand not the tenth
part that womens wily wits can dive into.
After their conference was ended, Massetto began to beate his
braines how he might compasse to dwell among them, and knowing that he
could wel enough performe all the labours whereof Lurco had made
mention, he cared not for any losse he should sustaine thereby, but
onely stood in doubt of his entertainment, because he was too yong and
sprightly. Having pondered on many imaginations, he said to
himselfe. The place is farre enough distant hence, and none there
can take knowledge of mee; if I have wit sufficient, cleanely to
make them beleeve that I am dumbe, then (questionles) I shal be
received. And resolving to prosecute this determination, he tooke a
Spade on his shoulder, and without revealing to any body whether hee
went, in the disguise of a poore labouring Countryman, he travelled to
the Monastery.
When he was there arrived, he found the great gate open, and
entering in boldly, it was his good hap to espy the Fac-totum in the
court, according as Lurco had given description of him. Making
signes before him, as if he were both dumbe and deafe; he
manifested, that he craved an Almes for Gods sake, making shewes
beside, that if need required, he could cleave wood, or doe any
reasonable kinde of service. The Factotum gladly gave him food, and
afterward shewed him divers knotty logs of wood, which the weake
strength of Lurco had left uncloven; but this fellow being more active
and lusty, quickly rent them all to pieces. Now it so fell out, that
the Fac-totum must needs go to the Forrest, and tooke Massetto along
with him thither: where causing him to fell divers Trees, by signes he
bad him to the two Asses therewith, which commonly carried home all
the wood, and so drive them to the Monasterie before him, which
Massetto knew well enough how to do, and performed it very
effectually.
Many other servile Offices were there to bee done, which caused
the Fac-totum to make use of his paines divers other dayes beside;
in which time, the Lady Abbesse chancing to see him, demanded of the
Factotum what he was? Madani (quoth hee) a poore labouring man, who is
both deafe and dumbe, hither he came to crave an almes the other
day, the which in charity I could do no lesse but give him; for which,
hee hath done many honest services about the house. It seemes
beside, that hee hath pretty skill in Gardening, so that if I can
perswade him to continue here, I make no question of his able
services: for the old silly man is gon, and we have need of such a
stout fellow, to do the busines belonging to the Monastery, and one
fitter for the turne, comes sildome hither. Moreover, in regard of his
double imperfections, the Sisters can sustaine no impeachment by
him. Whereto the Abbesse answered, saying; By the faith of my body,
you speake but the truth: understand then, if hee have any knowledge
in Gardening, and whether hee will dwell heere, or no: which
compasse so kindly as you can. Let him have a new paire of shoes, fill
his belly daily full of meate, flatter, and make much of him, for
wee shall finde him worke enough to do. All which, the Fac-totum
promised to fulfill sufficiently.
Massetto, who was not far off from them all this while, but seemed
seriously busied about sweeping and making cleane the Court, heard all
these speeches; and being not a little joyfull of them; said to
himselfe. If once I come to worke in your Garden, let the proofe yeeld
praise of my skill and knowledge. When the Fac-totum perceived, that
he knew perfectly how to undergo his businesse, and had questioned him
by signes, concerning his willingnesse to serve there still, and
received the like answere also, of his dutifull readinesse thereto; he
gave him order to worke in the Garden, because the season did now
require it; and to leave all other affayres for the Monastery,
attending now onely the Gardens preparation.
As Massetto was thus about his Garden emploiment, the Nunnes began
to resort thither, and thinking the man to be dumbe and deafe indeede,
were the more lavish of their language, mocking and flowting him
very immodestly, as being perswaded, that he heard them not. And the
Lady Abbesse, thinking he might as well be an Eunuch, as deprived both
of hearing and speaking, stood the lesse in feare of the Sisters
walkes, but referred them to their owne care and providence. On a day,
Massetto having laboured somewhat extraordinarily, lay downe to rest
himselfe awhile under the trees, and two delicate yong Nunnes, walking
there to take the aire, drew neere to the place where he dissembled
sleeping; and both of them observing his comelinesse of person,
began to pitty the poverty of his condition; but much more the
misery of his great defectes. Then one of them, who had a little
livelier spirit then the other, thinking Massetto to be fast
asleepe, began in this manner.
Sister (quoth she) if I were faithfully assured of thy secrecie, I
would tell thee a thing which I have often thought on, and it may
(perhaps) redound to thy profit. Sister, replyed the other Nun, speake
your minde boldly, and beleeve it (on my Maidenhead) that I will never
reveale it to any creature living. Encouraged by this solemne answere,
the first Nun thus prosecuted her former purpose, saying. I know not
Sister, whether it hath entred into thine understanding or no,
strictly we are here kept and attended, never any man daring to
adventure among us, except our good and bonest Fac-totum, who is
very aged; and this dumbe fellow, maimed, and made imperfect by
nature, and therefore not worthy the title of a man. Ah Sister, it
hath oftentimes bin told me, by Gentlewomen comming hither to visite
us, that all other sweetes in the world, are mockeries, to the
incomparable pleasures of man and woman, of which we are barred by our
unkind parents, binding us to perpetuall chastity, which they were
never able to observe themselves.
A Sister of this house once told me, that before her turne came to
be sent to the Soldane, she fell in frailty with a man that was both
lame and blinde, and discovering the same to her Ghostly Father in
confession; he absolved her of that sinne; affirming, that she had not
transgressed with a man, because he wanted his rationall and
understanding parts. Behold Sister, heere lyes a creature, almost
formed in the self-same mold, dumbe and deafe, which are two the
most rationall and understanding parts that do belong to any man,
and therefore no Man, wanting them. If folly and frailty would be
committed with him (as many times since hee came hither it hath run in
my minde) hee is by Nature, sworne to such secrecie, that he cannot
(if he would) be a blabbe thereof. Beside, the Lawes and
constitution of our Religion doth teach us, that a sinne so
assuredly concealed, is more then halfe absolved.
Ave Maria Sister (saide the other Nun) what kinde of words are these
you utter? Doe not you know, that we have promised our virginity to
God? Oh Sister (answered the other) how many things are promised to
him every day, and not one of a thousand kept or performed? If wee
have made him such a promise, and some of our weakerwitted sisters
do performe it for us, no doubt but he will accept it in part of
payment. Yea but Sister, replied the second Nun againe, there is
another danger lying in the way: If we prove to be with childe, how
shall we doe then? Sister (quoth our couragious wench) thou art
affraide of harme before it happen: if it come so to passe, let us
consider on it then: thou art but a Novice in matters of such
moment, we are provided of a thousand meanes, whereby to prevent
conception. Or, if they should faile, we are so surely fitted, that
the world shall never know it. Let it suffice, our lives must not be
by any so much as suspected, our Monastery questioned, or our Religion
rashly scandalized. Thus shee schooled her younger Sister in wit,
albeit as forward as shee in will, and longed as desirouslie, to
know what kinde of creature man was.
After some other questions, how this intention of theirs might bee
safely brought to full effect: the sprightly Nun that had wit at will,
thus answered. You see Sister (quoth she) it is now the houre of
midday, when all the rest of our sisterhood are quiet in their
Chambers, because we are then allowed to sleep, for our earlier rising
to morning Mattins. Here are none in the Garden now but our selves,
and while I awake him, bee you the watch, and afterward follow mee
in my fortune, for I will valiantly leade you the way. Massetto
immitating a Dogges sleepe, heard all this conspiracie intended
against him, and longed as earnestly till shee came to awake him.
Which being done, he seeming very simple and sottish, and she chearing
him with flattering behaviour: into the close Arbour they went,
which the Sunnes bright eye could not pierce into, and there I leave
it to the Nunnes owne approbation, whether Massetto was a man
rationall, or no. Ill deeds require longer time to contrive, then act;
and both the Nuns having bene with Massetto at this new forme of
confession, were enjoyned (by him) such an easie and silent penance,
as brought them the oftner to shrift, and made him to proove a very
perfect Confessour.
Desires obtayned, but not fully satisfied, doe commonly urge more
frequent accesse, then wisedome thinkes expedient, or can continue
without discovery. Our two joviall Nunnes, not a little proud of their
private stolne pleasures, so long resorted to the close Arbour, till
another Sister, who had often observed their haunt thither, by
meanes of a little hole in her Window; that shee began to suspect them
with Massetto, and imparted the same to two other Sisters, all three
concluding, to accuse them before the Lady Abbesse. But upon a further
conference had with the Offenders, they changed opinion, tooke the
same oath as the forewomen had done; and because they would be free
from any taxation at all: they revealed their adventures to the
other three ignorants, and so fell all eight into one formall
confederacie, but by good and warie observation, least the Abbesse her
selfe should descry them; finding poore Massetto such plenty of
Garden-worke, as made him verie doubtfull in pleasing them all.
It came to passe in the end, that the Lady Abbesse who all this
while imagined no such matter, walking all alone in the garden on a
day, found Massetto sleeping under an Almond tree, having then very
litle businesse to doe, because he had wrought hard all the night
before. She observed him to be an hansome man, young, lusty,
well-limbde and proportioned, having a mercifull commisseration of his
dumbenesse and deafenes, being perswaded also in like manner, that
if hee were an Eunuch too, hee deserved a thousand times the more to
be pittied. The season was exceeding hot, and he lay downe so
carelesly to sleepe, that somthing was noted wherein shee intended
to be better resolved, almost falling sicke of the other Nunnes
disease. Having awaked him, she commanded him by signes that he should
follow her to her chamber, where he was kept close so long, that the
Nunnes grew offended, because the Gardiner came not to his daily
labour.
Well may you imagine that Massetto was no misse-proud man now, to be
thus advanced from the Garden to the Chamber, and by no worse woman
then the Lady Abbesse her selfe: what signes, shews, or what
language he speaks there, I am not able to expresse; onely it
appeared, that his behaviour pleased her so well, as it procured his
daily repairing thether; and acquainted her with such familiar
conversation, as she would have condemned in the Nunnes her daughters,
but that they were wise enough to keepe it from her. Now began
Massetto to consider, that hee had undertaken a taske belonging to
great Hercules, in giving content to so many, and by continuing
dumbe in this maner, it would redound to his no meane detriment.
Whereupon, as he was one night sitting by the Abbesse, the string that
retained his tongue from speech, brake on a sodaine, and thus he
spake.
Madam, I have often heard it said, that one Cocke may doe service to
ten several Hennes, but ten men can very hardly even with all their
best endeavour, give full satisfaction every way to one woman; and yet
I am tied to content nine, which is farre beyond the compasse of my
power to do. Already have I performed so much Garden and Chamber-work,
that I confesse my selfe starke tired, and can travaile no further,
and therefore let me entreate you to lycense my departure hence, or
finde some meanes for my better ease. The Abbesse bearing him
speake, who had so long ben there stricken into admiration, and
accounting it almost a miracle, said. How commeth this to passe? I
verily beleeved thee to be dumbe. Madam (quoth Massetto) so I was
indeed, but not by Nature; onely I had a long lingering sicknes
which bereft me of speech, and which I have not onely recovered againe
