saide. My Lords, me thinks it were not much amisse, if we tooke a
taste of this honest mans Wine, perhaps it is so good, that we shall
not neede to repent our labour.
Heereupon, he went with them to Cistio, who had caused an handsome
seate to be fetched forth of his house, whereon he requested them to
sit downe, and having commanded his men to wash cleane the Glasses, he
saide. Fellowes, now get you gone, and leave me to the performance
of this service; for I am no worse a skinker, then a Baker, and
tarry you never so long, you shall not drinke a drop. Having thus
spoken, himselfe washed foure or five small glasses, faire and new,
and causing a Viall of his best wine to be brought him: hee diligently
filled it out to Messer Geri and the Ambassadours, to whom it seemed
the very best Wine, that they had drunke of in a long while before.
And having given Cistio most hearty thankes for his kindnesse, and the
Wine his due commendation: many dayes afterwardes (so long as they
continued there) they found the like courteous entertainment, and with
the good liking of honest Cistio.
But when the affayres were fully concluded, for which they wer
thus sent to Florence, and their parting preparation in due
readinesse: Messer Geri made a very sumptuous Feast for them, inviting
thereto the most part of the honourablest Citizens, and Cistio to be
one amongst them; who (by no meanes) would bee seene in an assembly of
such State and pompe, albeit he was thereto (by the saide Messer Geri)
most earnestly entreated.
In regard of which deniall, Messer Geri commaunded one of his
servants, to take a small Bottle, and request Cistio to fill it with
his good Wine; then afterward, to serve it in such sparing manner to
the Table, that each Gentleman might be allowed halfe a glasse-full at
their down-sitting. The Serving-man, who had heard great report of the
Wine, and was halfe offended because he could never taste thereof:
tooke a great Flaggon Bottle, containing foure or five Gallons at
the least, and comming there-with unto Cistio, saide unto him. Cistio,
because my Master cannot have your companie among his friends, he
prayes you to fill this Bottle with your best Wine. Cistio looking
uppon the huge Flaggon, replyed thus. Honest Fellow, Messer Geri never
sent thee with such a Message to me: which although the Serving-man
very stoutly maintained, yet getting no other answer, he returned
backe therwith to his Master.
Messer Geri returned the Servant backe againe unto Cistio, saying:
Goe, and assure Cistio, that I sent thee to him, and if hee make
thee any more such answeres, then demaund of him, to what place else I
should send thee? Being come againe to Cistio, hee avouched that his
Maister had sent him, but Cistio affirming, that hee did not: the
Servant asked, to what place else hee should send him? Marrie (quoth
Cistio) unto the River of Arno, which runneth by Florence, there
thou mayest be sure to fill thy Flaggon. When the Servant had reported
this answer to Messer Geri, the eyes of his understanding beganne to
open, and calling to see what Bottle hee had carried with him: no
sooner looked he on the huge Flaggon, but severely reproving the
sawcinesse of his Servant, hee sayde. Now trust mee, Cistio told
thee nothing but trueth, for neither did I send thee with any such
dishonest message, nor had the reason to yeeld or grant it.
Then he sent him with a bottle of more reasonable competencie, which
so soone as Cistio saw: Yea mary my friend, quoth he, now I am sure
that thy Master sent thee to me, and he shall have his desire with all
my hart. So, commaunding the Bottle to be filled, he sent it away by
the Servant, and presently following after him, when he came unto
Messer Geri, he spake unto him after this maner. Sir, I would not have
you to imagine, that the huge flaggon (which first came) did any jotte
dismay mee; but rather I conceyved, that the small Viall whereof you
tasted every morning, yet filled many mannerly Glasses together, was
fallen quite out of your remembrance; in plainer tearmes, it beeing no
Wine for Groomes or Peazants, as your selfe affirmed yesterday. And
because I meane to bee a Skinker no longer, by keeping Wine to
please any other pallate but mine owne: I have sent you halfe my
store, and heereafter thinke of mee as you shall please. Messer Geri
tooke both his guifte and speeches in most thankefull manner,
accepting him alwayes after, as his intimate Friend, because he had so
graced him before the Ambassadours.
THE SIXT DAY, THE THIRD NOVELL
WHEREIN IS DECLARED, THAT MOCKERS DO SOMETIMES MEETE WITH
THEIR MATCHES IN MOCKERY, AND TO THEIR OWNE SHAME
Madame Nonna de Pulci, by a sodaine answere, did put to silence a
Byshop of Florence, and the Lord Marshall: having moved a question
to the said Lady, which seemed to come short of honesty.
When Madame Pampinea had ended her Discourse, and (by the whole
company) the answere and bounty of Cistio, had past with deserved
commendation: it pleased the Queene, that Madame Lauretta should
next succeed: whereupon verie chearefully thus she beganne.
Faire assembly, Madame Pampinea (not long time since) gave
beginning, and Madam Philomena hath also seconded the same argument,
concerning the slender vertue remaining in our sexe, and likewise
the beautie of wittie words, delivered on apt occasion, and in
convenient meetings. Now, because it is needlesse to proceede any
further, then what hath beene already spoken: let mee onely tell you
(over and beside) and commit it to memorie, that the nature of
meetings and speeches are such, as they ought to nippe or touch the
hearer, like unto the Sheepes nibling on the tender grasse, and not as
the sullen Dogge byteth. For, if their biting be answereable to the
Dogges, they deserve not to be termed witty jests or quips, but
foule and offensive language: as plainly appeareth by the words of
Madame Oretta, and the mery, yet sensible answer of Cistio.
True it is, that if it be spoken by way of answer, and the
answerer biteth doggedly, because himselfe was bitten in the same
manner before: he is the lesse to bee blamed, because hee maketh
payment but with coine of the same stampe. In which respect, an
especiall care is to bee had, how, when, with whom, and where we
jest or gibe, whereof very many proove too unmindfull, as appeared
(not long since) by a Prelate of ours, who met with a byting, no lesse
sharpe and bitter, then had first come from himselfe before, as
verie briefely I intend to tell you how.
Messer Antonio d'Orso, being Byshoppe of Florence, a vertuous, wise,
and reverend Prelate; it fortuned that a Gentleman of Catalogna, named
Messer Diego de la Ratta, and Lord Marshall to King Robert of
Naples, came thither to visite him. Hee being a man of very comely
personage, and a great observer of the choysest beauties in Court:
among all the other Florentine Dames, one proved to bee most
pleasing in his eye, who was a verie faire Woman indeede, and Neece to
the Brother of the saide Messer Antonio.
The Husband of this Gentlewoman (albeit descended of a worthie
Family) was, neverthelesse, immeasurably covetous, and a verie harsh
natured man. Which the Lord Marshall understanding, made such a
madde composition with him, as to give him five hundred Ducates of
Gold, on condition, that hee would let him lye one night with his
wife, not thinking him so base minded as to give consent. Which in a
greedy avaritious humour he did, and the bargaine being absolutely
agreed on; the Lord Marshall prepared to fit him with a payment,
such as it should be. He caused so many peeces of silver to be
cunningly guilded, as then went for currant mony in Florence, and
called Popolines, and after he had lyen with the Lady (contrary to her
will and knowledge, her husband had so closely carried the
businesse) the money was duely paid to the cornuted Coxcombe.
Afterwards, this impudent shame chanced to be generally knowne,
nothing remaining to the wilful Wittoll, but losse of his expected
gaine, and scorne in every place where he went. The Bishop likewise
(beeing a discreete and sober man) would seeme to take no knowledge
thereof; but bare out all scoffes with a well setled countenance.
Within a short while after, the Bishop and the Lord Marshal (alwaies
conversing together) it came to passe, that upon Saint johns day, they
riding thorow the City, side by side, and viewing the brave
beauties, which of them might best deserve to win the prize: the
Byshop espied a yong married Lady (which our late greevous
pestilence bereaved us of) she being named Madame Nonna de Pulci,
and Cousine to Messer Alexio Rinucci, a Gentleman well knowne unto
us all. A very goodly beautifull yong woman she was, of delicate
language, and singular spirite, dwelling close by S. Peters gate. This
Lady did the Bishop shew to the Marshall, and when they were come to
her, laying his hand uppon her shoulder, he said. Madam Nonna, What
thinke you of this Gallant? Dare you adventure another wager with him?
Such was the apprehension of this witty Lady, that these words
seemed to taxe her honour, or else to contaminate the hearers
understanding, whereof there were great plenty about her, whose
judgement might be as vile, as the speeches were scandalous.
Wherefore, never seeking for any further purgation of her cleare
conscience, but onely to retort taunt for taunt, presently thus she
replied. My Lord, if I should make such a vile adventure, I would
looke to bee payde with better money.
These words being heard both by the Bishop and Marshall, they felt
themselves touched to the quicke, the one, as the Factor or Broker,
for so dishonest a businesse, to the Brother of the Bishop; and the
other, as receiving (in his owne person) the shame belonging to his
Brother. So, not so much as looking each on other, or speaking one
word together all the rest of that day, they rode away with blushing
cheekes. Whereby we may collect, that the yong Lady, being so
injuriously provoked, did no more then well became her, to bite
their basenesse neerely, that so abused her openly.
THE SIXT DAY, THE FOURTH NOVELL
WHEREBY PLAINLY APPEARETH, THAT A SODAINE WITTY AND MERRY ANSWER,
DOTH OFTENTIMES APPEASE THE FURIOUS CHOLLER OF AN
ANGRY MAN
Chichibio, the Cooke to Messer Currado Gianfiliazzi, by a sodaine
pleasant answer which he made to his Master; converted his anger
into laughter, and thereby escaped the punishment, that Messer meant
to impose on him.
Madam Lauretta sitting silent, and the answer of Lady Nonna having
past with generall applause: the Queene commanded Madame Neiphila to
follow next in order; who instantly thus began. Although a ready wit
(faire Ladies) doth many times affoord worthy and commendable
speeches, according to the accidents happening to the speaker: yet
notwithstanding, Fortune (being a ready helper divers wayes to the
timorous) doth often tippe the tongue with such a present reply, as
the partie to speake, had not so much leysure as to thinke on, nor yet
to invent; as I purpose to let you perceive, by a prety short Novell.
Messer Currado Gianfiliazzi (as most of you have both seene and
knowen) living alwayes in our Citie, in the estate of a Noble Citizen,
beeing a man bountifull, magnificent, and within the degree of
Knighthoode: continually kept both Hawkes and Hounds, taking no
meane delight in such pleasures as they yeelded, neglecting (for them)
farre more serious imployments, wherewith our present subject
presumeth not to meddle. Upon a day, having kilde with his Faulcon a
Crane, neere to a Village called Peretola, and finding her to be
both young and fat, he sent it to his Cooke, a Venetian borne, and
named Chichibio, with command to have it prepared for his supper.
Chichibio, who resembled no other, then (as he was indeede) a
plaine, simple, honest mery fellow, having drest the Crane as it ought
to bee, put it on the spit, and laide it to the fire.
When it was well neere fully roasted, and gave forth a very delicate
pleasing savour; it fortuned that a young Woman dwelling not far
off, named Brunetta, and of whom Chichibio was somewhat enamored,
entred into the Kitchin, and feeling the excellent smell of the Crane,
to please her beyond all savours, that ever she had felt before: she
entreated Chichibio verie earnestly, that hee would bestow a legge
thereof on her. Whereto Chichibio (like a pleasant companion, and
evermore delighting in singing) sung her this answer.
My Brunetta, faire and feat a,
Why should you say so?
The meate of my Master,
Allowes you for no Taster,
Go from the Kitchin go.
Many other speeches past betweene them in a short while, but in
the end, Chichibio, because hee would not have his Mistresse
Brunetta angrie with him; cut away one of the Cranes legges from the
spit, and gave it to her to eate. Afterward, when the Fowle was served
up to the Table before Messer Currado, who had invited certain
strangers his friends to sup with him, wondering not a little, he
called for Chichibio his Cook; demanding what was become of the Cranes
other legge? Whereto the Venetian (being a lyar by Nature) sodainely
answered: Sir, Cranes have no more but one legge each Bird. Messer
Currado, growing verie angry, replyed. Wilt thou tell me, that a Crane
hath no more but one legge? Did I never see a Crane before this?
Chichibio persisting resolutely in his deniall, saide. Beleeve me Sir,
I have told you nothing but the truth, and when you please, I wil make
good my wordes, by such Fowles as are living.
Messer Currado, in kinde love to the strangers that hee had
invited to supper, gave over any further contestation; onely he
said. Seeing thou assurest me, to let me see thy affirmation for
truth, by other of the same Fowles living (a thing which as yet I
never saw, or heard of) I am content to make proofe thereof to
morrow morning, till then I shall rest satisfied: but, upon my word,
